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Chapter 15
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Misery
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I stood inside the office in front of Kurenai, who was sitting at her desk, running her fingers through folders of paper works. She wore a maroon coat and her head was held down as she spoke again.
"I'm sorry Haruno, but your report isn't really here. I've checked it thrice already." She said. "Are you sure you didn't put it elsewhere?"
"Certainly. I passed it with Ino yesterday." I said, starting to get anxious.
In the few weeks that came, it was easy to notice that the bullying inside the campus had doubled. I started to lose a number of belongings, including a notebook, a towel, one piece of a sneaker that I used in pairs during training, and a small kit that contained some dental stuff. And now, someone apparently took my essay report which was a part of the final exams this semester. My patience was running out now. I couldn't afford to have a failing mark.
"Someone must've taken it. I placed it there yesterday along with Ino's report, I swear." I insisted.
"Well, Yamanaka's report is here." Kurenai said calmly, holding a group of stapled paper from the folders. "But yours isn't. I'm sorry Haruno, but I have to give you a zero for that bit."
"But I spent late nights writing it. I'm telling you, someone is trying to sabotage me. Please give me a chance to write it again tonight. I promise to submit it first thing tomorrow. It's okay if you have to deduct points, but please consider it." I asked desperately.
"Sabotage you? Who?"
"I... I don't know." I murmured. "It's a serious accusation, I know. But I think you're aware of the troublemakers in this place."
Kurenai watched me for a minute as she drummed her long, painted nails against the glossy wood surface of her desk. She knew what I was talking about. As one of the professors, she was not in favour of the terrorizing activities in the school caused by fellow students.
She sighed. "All right then, I'll give you a consideration just this once. Your grade will already be deducted 10 points. Pass it to me no later than 8AM sharp tomorrow, okay Haruno?"
I bowed. "Thank you, Kurenai-sama."
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Sasuke was like the brilliant, nasty mind behind every miserable problem in my life in this campus. I had no other proof that he did all these, but I knew he was the one who caused all these trouble. He never speak nor give any gesture towards me after the day I slapped him at the locker hall. He was as cold as the weather around us. His attitude towards me was very much evident and the other rogue students had noticed it too, though they didn't bother to ask why. Ino, on the other hand, nearly threatened me just to tell her what happened. I just came up with some false excuse that I just had an argument with him.
That was when my troubles had started piling up. I found myself more prone to being tormented in the days that followed after my last encounter with Sasuke. He was like a bad charm.
I changed the lock in my locker for the fourth time already in two weeks now, but still, it was no use. I arrived at my locker only to find it half open, with some of my books scattered on the floor below and some spray paints and garbage thrown inside.
I silently picked the books one by one as I felt water swelled on the corners of my eyes. I could feel some of the students staring at me as they passed the hall and ignored them.
I removed all my things in the locker, not caring if I could hold all of them at once. I tried to balance the books, with a few folded, spray painted shirts on top, on both my arms. I'd have to ask the school facility staff to close my locker later and scribble my name out of the list.
"She's such a loser..."
"I heard Sasuke didn't want to be anywhere near her after realizing what kind of a girl she is. What a shame..."
I could hear the whispers behind me. As much as I wanted to bulldoze all of them, I plainly walked away. A small pride was all that I had at the moment and I didn't want to give them the pleasure to see that I was furious now.
I walked toward the ladies comfort room at the farthest corner of the building, where I knew only few students go there due to its vacated location. The room was empty and a bit dim than the other comfort rooms. I walked to the farthest cubicle, slid down the toilet cover, placed my things on top of it and leaned against the cold wall.
Then, I burst into tears. I cried as silently as I could as tears rolled down my cheeks and I covered my face with my hands. I could feel myself reddening at once due to anger, frustration, and self pity. A lot of scenes darted across my mind. How did I get myself into this situation? I'd already come this far.
Maybe this wasn't really the place for me. Maybe I was just really fighting for a useless cause. I was being stupid and blinded to realize it. There were plenty of other schools out there. Maybe I belong somewhere else. They were not the same as Konoha Academy, but at least they lead a normal education for regular people. I was no one special, anyway. Where in God's name was that stupid bloodline?
That night I lay in bed, staring blankly outside the bedroom window. The lamp on my bedside table was the only thing giving soft light in the room. I could see the blinking Christmas lights hung across our front yard from where I lay. Some specks of snow were drifting down outside.
It was like I was only feeling the exhaustion of all that happened just now. I'd never been this depressed in a long time. I could still feel my eyes swollen when I arrived home. I didn't let my parents see me in my situation and pretended to be taking a bath when they called me down for supper.
Anger built up inside me. I wanted to hit Sasuke so hard on the face. I sighed again and pressed my fingers hard against my closed eyes.
Perhaps it might be wise to consider transferring to another academy.
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The school looked splendid that season. Decorated pine trees lined the grounds and the front gates. Miniature sets of colourful light bulbs draped the halls, along with wreaths and red ribbons. The decorations weren't placed everywhere, only to some designated locations like the hallways and fields.
The grass fields in the school were now filled with tents and tables. Since the snow prevented the students to use it for sports class, the faculty turned it into a lounge area where students could eat or linger about. Snow sweepers would come in every now and then to clean the piles of snow across the open grounds.
Ino and I were each holding a tray of our lunch for that day. We walked across the grounds to find a vacated spot somewhere under the massive shades. I was wrapped in thick, brown coat and Ino was wearing a furry white covering.
"The Christmas party will be held this Friday night. You're coming, right Sakura?" she said.
I wasn't planning to, but I lied nonetheless. "Yeah... I guess." Of course, I wanted to. But I didn't think it was a good idea.
Ino noticed the lifeless expressions on my face these days. "You all right?"
"Yeah, it's just the weather."
I saw Naruto and his group of friends a few tables away. They were huddled together, eating their meals. Naruto had dark green ear muffs on both ears. Sasuke was eating ramen across the table from him, sitting beside Kiba, whose dog was chasing a stray cat near them. Sasuke saw us passed by. His eyes watched me for a moment, then turned toward his meal as if he saw nothing. He wore a dark gray jacket with its hood hanging behind his shoulders.
I was used to his cold stares nowadays. He had been acting like I was invisible for a month now. He didn't speak to me during our trainings together. He would only look at me one moment, and would turn away after. Kakashi and Naruto were both bothered by it since we were teammates after all. There should be unity. I tried to act as if nothing between us had happened, but he regarded me as if I was some kind of a disease that he didn't want to catch. He didn't care whether it became troublesome for the team. He even asked Kakashi to either transfer me or him to another group once in front of my face. Kakashi denied his request and it infuriated Sasuke even more.
Sometimes I wanted to hit his face with a sledge hammer, and there were other times when I found myself remembering what his lips felt like. I sometimes wondered how perfect he looked in front me.
I tried apologizing to him twice, but it only ended in another row between us. We were like fire and ice. And so I gave up understanding him.
Maybe I should start inquiring about other schools tomorrow. I thought.
I hadn't mention anything about this thought to anyone yet. Not even to Ino nor my family. It was better to keep it to myself as of the moment.
Ino and I sat at an unoccupied table at the corner. She handed me a slice of marble cake she bought in the cafeteria earlier.
"You seem to be getting thinner everyday, Sakura." she spoke, looking at my posture.
"Thanks." I smiled a bit as I placed the slice near my hot coffee. "Just too much pressure in the final exams that's all."
"Yeah, I'm going crazy with all the articles that we need to write this week. I can't even think straight the other day when I was out on a date." Ino groaned. She started picking up her sashimi with a pair of chopsticks.
"You're lucky, that's all you need to worry. I have to watch my back every once in a while." I said before putting a spoonful of mashed potato inside my mouth.
"Aw. Are they still bothering you? I think you should go to the school head and tell her about it. That would put a stop to it."
"It's useless. They couldn't even control Sasuke and his gang, what more could they do about those bullies that I'm not sure who exactly are. All I know is Sasuke must be part of it somehow."
"Then tell Tsunade-sama it has to do with Sasuke-kun." Ino said. She wasn't a pro nor an anti Sasuke, but she liked hearing news about him. A LOT.
"It doesn't matter anyway."
"Why not?" she asked, her round blue eyes looking up at me. "Look, you've already missed your training thrice now for two weeks because of him and all the troubles you're getting into. Don't you think it's about time you let someone with the authority to know about it?"
"Don't worry. If my patience completely runs out, I'll find a way to get a hold of it somehow."
My absences in the training had also made Kakashi wondered about what was happening to me. He spoke to me once at the corridor after my last class, when I wasn't able to attend training the other day because I spent hours looking for my other paper projects that disappeared in my locker.
"You doin' okay, kid?" he joined me as I walked along the corridor the other day.
"Kakashi-sensei." I greeted, not as lively as I used to be. "I'm fine... Yeah. Sorry I missed the training yesterday. I was trying to find something and completely forgot about the time."
He acknowledged my response for a while, then looked down at me as we strode along the hallways.
"Have you lost interest?" he asked.
"Exhausted more likely."
"I know the pressure's rough, but that's the challenge. Sooner or later it's going to be better. You've already come a long way. I'm just concerned of your performance status. Or if you think you want a different approach in the training, we could adjust it a bit with the old hag."
I shook my head. "No need. I'll try to catch up quickly on our next session."
I'm such a masochist.
He peered at me again. "Is this about Uchiha? I know he can be a pain in the ass, but you're better than that. Don't let him get under your skin. It'll blow up on his face one day."
I didn't reply and only smiled.
"Just try to keep up, okay?" he gave one pat on my back before turning away. "You're better than you think, kid."
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It had been a month since I last saw Sasori, too. We were both occupied with projects, we barely had time to talk to each other. It was not like it was our duty to see each other. I treated him almost like how I treated Ino, Hinata and Ten Ten. He didn't know anything about what was happening between me and Sasuke, although I heard from Ino that the two had accidentally bumped into each other a week before, and ended up causing a ruckus outside a concert gig. Naruto and Sasuke both had their guitars smashed into two. I heard Sasori went away with a bleeding cut on his lip.
I didn't dare see him after hearing about it, to avoid confrontations.
Two war freaks. Thinking about them was even tiresome.
"Ohayou, Sakura-chan."
I looked up from the textbook I was reading and met Rock Lee's big, innocent eyes. Its eye lashes longer than mine. He was smiling warmly down at me as he handed me a tiny folded note.
"I passed by Kakashi just now. He asked me to give this to you." he said.
"Oh, hi Lee. Thanks." I smiled back. Rock Lee had this warm aura like Naruto that just kept people at ease and welcoming, unlike the other students.
He sat on the seat next to me, keeping a small distance as I unfold the note. He looked curious about it even if he was trying to keep his big eyes off.
Meeting tomorrow after classes in the Mortis Org quarter. 6:30PM. Don't be late. –Kakashi
Perhaps another assignment before the holidays come in.
"So you're liking it here?" Rock Lee asked in an easygoing manner.
I folded the note back. "It's the bittersweet kind."
Rock Lee laughed. "I'll take that as a no."
"If everybody here is like you, Lee, I would probably be happier here no doubt. But I guess that's just too ideal, isn't it?" I said light-heartedly.
"Afraid so, yeah." He gave a coy smile. "You're very much welcome to join our group during training if you want. Gai-sensei is our mentor. He's really cool."
He gave that thumbs up gesture that reminded me a lot of Gai himself. It was obvious that he lookrf up to him. They even looked alike now. He was like the younger version of him.
"That's nice of you, Lee, but I'm fine with Kakashi and the group. A demented bunch, but a lot to learn from."
"Guess that Uchiha hasn't been easy on you, has he?"
I rolled my eyes. "You said it. How can you even stand to be batch mates for all these years? It's like... torture."
Rock Lee laughed again. "I can kick his ass for you. Just say it, Sakura-chan."
I took a note in my head to set him up with a nice girl in the future, if ever he didn't have a girlfriend yet. He deserved a good one, this guy.
"I appreciate it, Lee, but I can put up with his stubborn, conceited attitude. Just gathering my muscle strength. " I smiled and pretended to flex my right bicep.
He smiled back and leaned closer towards me.
"Hey listen, since Christmas party is already this week, I was wondering if—" he fumbled on his fingers and glanced down for a second before looking back up to me. "—if you would like to go on a date with me at the party?"
I screwed off the note in my head. Didn't expect that one at all. If I say yes to him, would he expect something more?
Before I could reply, I saw Sasuke walked by the classroom door. I thought I just saw his eyes gazing at me, as if he was watching me from another room. He quickly disappeared at the doorway. It felt odd.
A date is only a date after all. And he didn't really give a shit about me, based from all the troubles he did.
"Sure." I simply replied.
Rock Lee smiled again, his white teeth gleaming. "Awesome. I'll pick you up at seven this Friday then."
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I trudged down the last steps of the stairways and was out of the Mirage Building. I crossed the school grounds. The entrance gates were visible ahead. Students were walked out of the academy at the end of the day. My Advanced Literature book was tucked under my left arm as I walked at the side of the vast, snow covered field.
I was about to pass a tiny alley between the cluster of buildings when I heard his voice ahead. It was not actually loud, but the grounds were too quiet at this hour now it was rather easy to hear even the softest noises. I froze from walking and leaned against the corner of the beige-painted walls. He seemed to be somewhere at the corner ahead, I just couldn't see him.
"She deserves it. Useless, pathetic, newbie..." it was Sasuke's voice.
"You're being too hard on her." I was guessing it was Kiba.
"I'm not. She's being hounded by brutal, hungry people naturally."
"You put fire on it."
I heard Sasuke chuckled. "She flirts with everyone. I saw her dabbing her stupid eyelashes towards that lunatic Rock Lee a while ago. No wonder she's being chased out of this hellhole."
"Well, you seem affected."
"I'm not."
There were soft thumps, as if one of them took a few steps.
"If there's anything, I'm pleased to see her miserable. Who the fuck she thinks she is. Just because she lasted this long. I bet she'll go crazier next week."
"If you really don't give a shit about her, then why are you fuming over it here?"
I clenched my fist in annoyance. I heard another soft thumps against the snow covered ground, and Akamaru's head popped out of the corner, right in front of me. He sniffed, then started barking at once.
"What is it, boy?" Kiba called.
I stepped out of the corner and showed myself.
Kiba was sitting on a stack of wood, holding a thin tree branch. There were some scribbles against the snow, as if he was using it to draw something. Sasuke, on the other hand, was leaning his back against a metal fence, one leg was up stepping on the bar. He was putting the black gloves that he uses for his motorbike. Both looked taken aback after seeing me there.
"If you've got something you want to say, say it to my face asshole!" I said, glaring at Sasuke. I clutched my book tightly to prevent myself from losing control and crying again.
Sasuke simply went back to his unruffled, unfeeling mode. "What made you think we're talking about you, nerd?"
Kiba remained hushed and only pretended to draw again on the snowy soil.
"I'm not stupid." I said through gritted teeth. "If this is your idea to drive me out of school, well, better try harder bastard. You think you own this place? You're just a selfish, big-headed rich boy. You think you can always have everything you want."
"I can have everything I want." he spoke, he folded his arms across his chest coolly. "That's the difference between you and me. You've been trying your best, yet still here you are. At the very bottom of the food chain."
"At least I don't stomp over people, like you. You think you're being cool by doing all these? Hell, it just proves how much of a bully you are."
Sasuke just rubbed his nose without a care. "If you're going to talk big, just make sure you're not dripping with something, all right?"
And I felt a cold, wet substance against my palm. I looked down and saw black ink crawling down the book I was holding. My left hand was filled with the dark essence. The ink dripped down the white snow, tainting it. I hastily opened the book and saw more than half of it was covered with thick ink. Someone must had poured it while I left it on my desk.
Both Kiba and Sasuke started snickering. I felt a great urge to throw it at their faces. I shook my head, gave one dagger look to them, and walked off. I tried to ignore the sounds of their sniggers and faced the direction toward the entry way.
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It was nearly six thirty when I got out of my last class. I hurriedly jogged to the Mortis Org office to meet my teammates. Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, Ibiki, and Iruka were all there, sitting around the thick table of the headmistress. Tsunade herself wasn't there, though. They were just about to begin when I got there.
"Hiya, Sakura-chan." Naruto gave one waive at me as I took a seat next to him. The tip of his nose was pink due to the cold weather coming outside.
"Did I already miss something?" I asked, putting down my bag under the table.
"We're just about to start." Iruka said as he pulled some files out of the cabinet at the corner. One of the multiple screens behind him was on, showing a view of a street outside one of the gates in the school from a surveillance camera. People passed by it without noticing.
"God, I need this break. I'm dying of memorizing words from the textbooks." Naruto gave a big yawn.
"What's this all about?" Sasuke spoke, his back inclining casually against his chair. As usual, he ignored me.
"A file had been hacked from the Mortis Guild base just the other day, containing classified information about the projects we undertook last year." Iruka said as he opened a folder report and sat back down at the table. "We have some handful of suspects but we have a good hunch it was done by someone from Tornado Corporation."
"That giant web development company? But there's a lot of firms out there with dozens of computer geeks and geniuses. How can you be sure it was them?" Naruto asked.
"We believe one of their executives works with a demi-human. Shin Takuma has been in the surveillance list for almost a year now. His brother had been missing for years and was rumoured to be now a part of the demi-human movement." Ibiki said. A cup of black coffee was perched on his side.
"How can you be sure it wasn't some computer wiz who's just interested with the guild? That maybe he's just obsessed with the whole thing it does?" I asked.
"We have considered that, but the codes that Mortis Guild uses are different than the usual codes computer companies use. It was formed for Mortis Guild alone, and the people who knows them are people who works for us, or if not, someone from the government's secret units." Iruka said.
"Shin Takuma was a former chief of operations in one of the government sectors many years ago." Kakashi chipped in.
"What do you want us to do?" it was Sasuke.
"It's kinda like the Mission Impossible thing." Ibiki said, a small grin forming at the corners of his scarred lips. "The task is to sneak inside the Tornado Corporation head office tonight and get access to their database without them noticing."
"And how the hell are we goin' to do that?" Naruto was intrigued.
Iruka slid a small, rectangular piece of object across the table. It was an opaque gray in color and was the size of a face powder compact. It looked like some sort of flash drive.
"Stick this on one of their mother drives, it'll download the contents ten times faster than your average disk." He said as Naruto took it, turned it around with his fingers and inspected it. "Cool, huh?"
"I need one like this." Naruto said curiously.
Kakashi rolled open a white map across the table in front of us. "Here's the diagram of their office. It's actually well built and security is everywhere. They close at seven o'clock. You need to memorize the directions in two hours before the task."
I cringed.
"You expect us to memorize all the tactics at once and execute it tonight?" Naruto cried, jumping an inch off his chair.
"Well, you are my trainees." Kakashi shrugged unperturbedly.
"Naruto and I can execute it fast tonight." Sasuke said. His arms crossed together.
"Are you serious?" Naruto turned to him with his eyes bulging.
"There's no need for us three to be there. The two of us can finish it in half an hour."
Apparently, Sasuke was on his move again. Trying to alienate me and getting me out of the assignment.
"Sasuke, you're a team. You all do it or none at all." Kakashi spoke, his arms still extended against the rolled out diagram.
"And I can do it." I said in a steady voice.
"There's really no danger in the task, right? No freakin' demi-humans involved. Just a clean implementation inside their office. One person can even do it." Sasuke said.
What an asshole.
"That's not the point. It's part of learning for the three of you." Iruka insisted now.
"She's only going to hold up everything. What does it matter if she comes or not?"
"We're a team, Sasuke." Naruto stated beside him.
"We use to do fine when it was just the two of us. The only difference she made was that she prolonged the whole training process. She shouldn't even be doing tasks like this. The last assignment we had didn't even make much difference when she was there. Besides, there's only going to be a higher chance of us getting caught tonight if she'll be there."
I was about to argue, but he continued— "Tell me something then. Why did the headmistress allowed her to be here in the first place? Is it because of the possibility of a bloodline? Well, has anyone ever seen it on her? Do you know how many days have been wasted already?"
And that did it.
"If you want me out of this stupid school, then so be it!" I stood with my hands balled into fists after hitting them against the table. I could feel my rage rising as I yelled. For once, all the people present in the room went muffled.
Sasuke didn't speak anymore, but only glared at me. Good thing Naruto was there between us to block my way. I wanted to strangle him so badly.
"Well, look who's finally trying to be a martyr." He sneered.
"You think you can do all the tasks by yourself, then go ahead! What's the point of resisting you if all you can do is have me thrown out anyway?" I continued to say in a raised voice. My patience had reached its limit. "If you think I'm just a delay in your perfect training for your macho image, don't worry, I'll be out of here in no time."
Iruka tried to break it. "Sakura, calm—"
"You can have all the rights you have starting right now. I'll go!" I spat furiously as I bent down and grabbed my bag. I had enough. I took a step toward the door, then paused, turned back and gave a quick bow to my mentors without even looking at them. "I'm sorry. Thank you for your guidance." I said abruptly in a calmer voice.
The professors looked baffled for once. Kakashi was blinking rapidly as if trying to come up with an urgent idea.
I marched toward the door, ignoring Naruto's cry of protest. I turned one last time to them before vanishing at the entry. There was a hint of shock on Sasuke's face. The door hit with a loud thug as I moved out of the corridor.
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