Weeks later, Jackie is sitting at her kitchen table, during breakfast. She eats her cereal, and Zoey just stares at her.
"Is there something on your mind?" Jackie questions.
"Do you have the girls, tonight?"
"Not until Friday, why?"
"Nothing, never mind."
"Just spit it out, Zoey."
"How far, are you?"
"You already know that."
"I think that you should tell him," Zoey answers.
"Tell who, what?"
"You're halfway there. What are you afraid of?"
"I am not telling him," Jackie argues.
"Don't you think he deserves to know?"
"No. I have a hard enough time believing this, and it is happening to me. I am not telling him."
"He should know."
"Not now."
"You're never going to tell him, are you?"
"Not until I have to."
"Are you planning on hiding this, the entire time?"
"If I have to."
"Why? Why are you making this harder on yourself?"
"I slept with my boss, multiple times," she reminds Zoey, "and now I am knocked up. Nobody else needs to know that, especially not him."
"What are you afraid of?"
"I would like to get this thing outside of my body, before I have to battle Mike Cruz, for it."
"Thing? You're back to calling it a thing? You need serious counseling."
"I don't like the word fetus."
"You could call it a baby."
"That makes it real," Jackie reminds her.
"Oh, because it's not real, now?"
"Zoey..."
"You feel it move. It's real."
"I still don't know, how I feel about it."
"Maybe, because you don't let yourself feel anything."
"I am clean, and sober, I feel everything, now," Jackie reminds her.
"Are you going to tell the girls?"
Jackie shakes her head, "I don't know how."
"So you're just going to wait until it pops out, and then, what?"
Jackie shrugs, "I don't know. I don't even know if I am planning on keeping it."
"If you weren't, why did you decide to have it?"
"Karma," Jackie admits.
"Karma? What do you mean?"
"I am trying to do something good."
"I think you have the idea of reparation confused with karma. You're trying to repay your debt, by doing something good. Right?"
"I am trying to do something good, in the hopes that it will come back to me."
"I don't buy it."
She stands in the mirror, that night, after she's gotten out of the shower. She's in her pajama's. She stares at her stomach. Although, it's not that big, it is starting to become noticeable. It isn't like, in previous weeks, where she stood there, pretending it isn't true. Twenty weeks in, and as a nurse, she can't deny it. It is definitely there. She is definitely pregnant. The baby does a somersault. She looks down, at her stomach. She turns, and walks away from the mirror.
"What are you doing?" she wonders. She gets a kick, to the rib. She rolls her eyes, as the turns off the lamp, and climbs into bed.
"It's bedtime," she adds. The movement stops, as if the baby inside of her, comprehends what she's saying.
After a long shift, Jackie is sitting in her designated seat, at the nurse's station. Zoey walks over, and hands her messenger bag, to her. She nudges Jackie, who has her head down, on the desk.
"Hm?" Jackie looks up.
"Are you ready to go home?"
"Can we stop by a bar, after work?"
Zoey shoots her a look.
"I'll explain, on the way out," Jackie tells her.
They leave the nurse's station. The conversation is non-existent, until they reach the street. They make it to the sidewalk, before Zoey can stay silent, no longer.
"Jackie, you can't go to a bar," she reminds her.
"I don't want to drink. I mean I think I would like a drink..."
Zoey cuts her off, "I am not taking you to a bar."
"I just want to smell it."
"Smell what?"
"Beer," Jackie reveals.
"You want to smell some beer? What kind of weirdo are you?"
"I just want to smell it."
"Do you have some form of pica, or something?" Zoey accuses, as they walk.
"It's not like I want to eat toilet paper, or dirt, or anything. I just want to smell some beer."
"That isn't normal."
"I have never claimed to be normal," Jackie reminds her.
"I could understand if you wanted ice cream, or something, along those lines, but to smell beer? That is just abnormal."
"And a bowl of A1."
"You don't want the steak, you just want steak sauce?"
"Yes," Jackie confirms.
"Come on, I'll buy you some A1," Zoey rolls her eyes.
"Beer, steak, and A1," Jackie responds.
"I don't think so," Zoey shakes her head.
"Why don't we go eat? I'll have some A1, and you can order a beer."
"I am not ordering a beer, so that you can sniff it."
"Come, Zoey, please. I just want to smell it. I don't need to drink it."
"Absolutely not."