Previouslly...

"Felicity since I trust you with my life I'll tell you everything and I won't require you to sign a confidentiality contract. So these is your last chance to run, to be safe from me. Are you sure you are ready to know how much I changed after those five years?" He asks.

Am I ready? What secret has he been keeping from me? Those Diggle know? What about Sara? Doesn't he desire me at all?

"The time I lived in Hong Kong I didn't just learn fluent mandarin, I also didn't just learn new fighting skills. I learned how to deal with the pain I felt."

"Oh, you where in pain? Didn't they give anything to make it better?" I ask, staring at those blank sad eyes.

"My physical pain wasn't what bothered me the most. I felt guilty for Shado's death, I was angry at myself for what had happened to Slade and I couldn't forgive myself for abandoning Sarah at the island. The pain I felt was emotional."

To that I could not make a comment. For the first time ever I didn't know what to say to him. He looked so vulnerable, so sad it made me feel lost. It hurt me to say him like that, Although I wish we could change the subject I knew he had to open up to me.

"So in Hong Kong I learned how to deal with these pain. I was taught how to externalize it with ought causing harm to anyone."

"That's good. What did you do?" I ask, smiling.

" The person who was holding me captive was the person who saved me from self-destruction. She was the one who taught me how to deal with that pain. But the things she taught me also ruined even more Oliver Queen."

"What exactly did she teach you?" I ask, worried.

"Do you know anything about a BDSM relationship?" He asks, making me choke in my drink.

"I know something… Are you trying to tell me you have had a BDSM relationship?" I ask.

"Yes I had. At the time I was in Hong Kong I didn't trust myself to like anyone, not only that but I needed to be in control of everything. When I came back, I didn't seek a woman at first because I didn't know anyone I could trust. Well, there was Laurel but I didn't trust myself with her."

"Where Helena, Sarah, McKenna and Isabel in a BDSM relationship with you?"

"Yes."

I stare at him a bit surprised. I always knew he wasn't a Prince Charming, but I had never suspected he was so much like Christian Grey.

"Who introduced you to these type of relationship?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Amanda Waller. She was the one who held me hostage in Hong Kong and she was also the first BDSM partner I had, but at the time I was her sub."

I almost choked on my wine at that respond. A-M-A-N-D-A-B-I-T-C-H-W-A-L-L-E-R?! He has got to be kidding me.

"You slept with every women who isn't related to you but me?"

OMG, did I just say that out loud? Me and my big mouth.

Sorry, It was getting too big, So the M rating part will be in the next chapter.

I do not own the characters and I was inspired by 50 shades of grey to write these bit. Keep reading, it isn't what you expect.

Please review! :)