Chapter 4 – Moving On

A warm hand on her shoulder woke her from the deep, contented slumber she'd fallen into. Squinting at it, Bethany could make out the familiar silvery lines of tattoos in the soft candlelight. Fenris.

"It's almost dawn." His voice called up memories that sent shivers down her spine. "I'd better take you home."

She yawned and sat up, surveying the room. Sebastian was gone, no doubt to attend the early morning service at the Chantry and to confess his sins. When she closed her eyes, she could almost feel the warmth of his body behind her, his arms embracing her tightly as she dozed off. She could almost smell the scent of his skin, hear the soft burr of his voice. Bethany sighed. Why can't things be less complicated?

Isabela was fast asleep, a peaceful expression on her face that made her look young and carefree, a glimpse of the young girl she had been before she'd been sold into marriage. She had curled up into a ball, with the sheets wrapped tightly around her generous curves. The corners of Fenris' expressive mouth twitched when he looked at her.

"She won't be up for a few more hours. But, if you're not home in the morning-"

"Rob will throw a fit," she finished for him. "You're right. Let's go."

Maker, but she was thirsty! Automatically, she reached for the goblet on the nightstand and took a deep draught, grimacing when she realized it was filled with wine. It didn't taste quite as good in the cold light of the morning as it had in the heat of the night. Fenris smiled at her expression and motioned for her to follow him down the stairs. She found her clothes and got dressed as quickly as she could.

It wasn't far from Fenris' place to the Amell mansion, but Bethany was grateful for his company, despite her newly acquired skills at self-defence. She wasn't sure she'd be able to put them into practice if someone attacked her, and her head wasn't clear enough to safely use magic. But, with Fenris at her side, his impressive sword strapped to his back, none of the few stragglers out and about so much as dared to look at her askance.

When she unlocked the back door, taking care not to make too much noise, the house was quiet and dark. Apparently not even Orana was up yet. Fenris followed her across the threshold into the servants' corridor. The door fell shut behind him and they stood for a moment in awkward silence.

So, that's it. Back to life. Back to the Gallows. The sadness descended on her like a heavy woollen blanket, stifling her, rendering her incapable of action.

"Will you be all right?" Fenris raised a gentle hand to her face, wiping away the single tear that was rolling down her cheek.

"I…" She bit her lip, hard, and, following an impulse that surprised even herself, grabbed his neck and pulled him into a wild, frantic kiss.

He gasped against her lips in surprise, but then he returned the kiss, just as ferociously, grabbing her around the waist and pushing her back against the wall.

"Don't go. Not yet," she whispered between fevered kisses, dragging his hands up to her breasts, whimpering when he pushed her robes aside and pinched her nipples hard.

"Damn it, Bethany." He was panting, his eyes burning with passion. "We can't-"

Shaking her head, she pulled him even closer, reaching down to cup him through his leggings, moaning appreciatively at his burgeoning hardness. She couldn't resist adding a tiny touch of magic, just a tingle, but it made him buck into her hand with a rough, throaty groan.

Before she knew it, he was shoving her robe off her shoulders, unlacing her leggings, and pushing them down her legs. The moment she stepped out of them, his hands slid up the inside of her thighs again in one smooth move. There was no subtlety, no refinement, just his fingers burying themselves deep inside her, but she was soaked for him already, more than ready for more. He hitched one of her legs up on his hip, growling with impatience, mirroring her own need. With shaking hands, she tried to untie his leggings but, before she could work out the intricacies of the lacing, a sudden cry of shocked outrage made her freeze in place.

"Bethany?" When Rob found his voice again, he sounded completely incredulous. "Maker, I've been worried sick about you. What-"

Fenris stepped back, bending down to retrieve her robes so she could cover up. When he straightened up again, he avoided Rob's gaze, clearly aware of what the scenario would look like to his friend.

"You! Get out of my house, this instant!" Rob's face was flushed almost purple with anger as he stepped closer, grabbing Bethany by the arm and dragging her behind him, placing himself between her and Fenris as if he needed to protect her.

Suddenly, she felt incredibly tired. "Rob, please-"

He wrinkled his nose as he smelled the wine on her breath. "You've been drinking." He turned to face Fenris again. "To think that I called you a friend! You… How could you abuse my trust in such a manner? How could you treat her like a cheap slattern? My own sister!" Rob's face contorted with disgust. "First you get her drunk and then-"

"Listen, Hawke, I-" Fenris broke off, closing his eyes in exasperation. "I'd better get going."

"Exactly. And don't bother to show up here again." Rob's voice had turned icy. "Ever."

Fenris nodded and left, without another word.

"Come on, Bethy, let's get you to bed." Putting an arm around Bethany's shoulder, her brother pulled her close. "That pig. I'm just glad I arrived before anything worse could happen." He cleared his throat delicately, clearly unwilling to put the unthinkable into words.

Hiding her face against his jerkin, Bethany had to fight back a hysterical laugh, then a sob. Maker, Rob, you have no clue! Her brother had no idea just how far he was from the truth.

Fenris let himself into the mansion, grateful to discover that Isabela had already left. She'd left a note for him, a crudely drawn heart and a scrawled Thank you on a page she'd torn out of a worn copy of the Chant. He shook his head at it, smiling to himself despite his annoyance at this small act of blasphemy. Sebastian would be appalled. Or maybe not.

With a sigh, Fenris sank into his favourite armchair, near the fireplace. He loved huddling up here in winter, close to the flames with a blanket around his shoulders. Somehow Kirkwall was always too cold, too damp. Maybe he should leave before the autumn storms, and make his way to Rivain or Antiva, where the winters were mild and dry and no one would ever have heard of the Champion and his companions. Maybe he could start anew there. There wasn't really much point in staying, after all, now that Hawke didn't want him around any longer.

Hawke. Rob. His friend, the man who had believed in him, the former slave, who had given him new purpose, new goals, not to mention a steady source of income. Maybe he should try to explain, to make him see… but no. In his heart, Fenris knew Rob wouldn't want to hear the truth. He reached for the half-empty wine bottle. No use brooding over what had happened. Taking a deep swig of wine, he leaned back in the chair, welcoming the slightly dazed feeling settling over him.

He had finished the bottle and made considerable inroads into the next when there was a knock on the door, and the muffled sound of an all-too familiar voice. "Fenris? Can I come in?"

Sebastian. Always so very polite. Fenris didn't bother to get to his feet. "Of course."

Sebastian was in full armour, as if the immaculate white surface would deflect any attempts to make him stray from the path of righteousness. One look in his face told Fenris that there would be no follow-up to last night. This was the Chantry Brother through and through, with nothing but a passing resemblance to the man who had screamed in his arms only hours before.

Sebastian cleared his throat. "I… ran into Hawke in the market. He was furious, more than I've ever seen him, and, when I mentioned your name-"

"Ah." Fenris rather wished he was drunk enough to avoid an explanation. "You probably shouldn't have done that."

"Fenris!" Sebastian's tone was sharp. "What happened?"

Fenris rubbed his eyes wearily. "He caught me in a… compromising situation with Bethany. When I took her home."

Sebastian blanched. "So he knows-"

"He knows next to nothing." Fenris snorted contemptuously. "He saw me with her, but I highly doubt she told him more than that. Your secret is safe."

There was a brief silence. Sebastian inhaled audibly, his hands clenching into fists. Slowly, almost as if it caused him pain, he opened them again, releasing the breath he'd been holding and staring down at his own palm. "It's probably better if we all forget about last night."

Fenris put down the bottle and rose from his chair. His feet were slightly unsteady, but he was pleased to find his voice was firm. "I will never mention it again, if that is what you wish. But rest assured, I won't forget it. Not a single moment of it."

Finally Sebastian met his gaze. He opened his mouth as if to reply, but then he reconsidered. With a single, brief nod, he turned on his heels and left.

When the door fell shut behind him, Fenris dropped back into his chair. What a bloody mess! Still, even as he reached for the bottle again, eager for the blessed oblivion it promised, a wry smile spread over his face. Whatever would happen, he couldn't bring himself to regret that night. Never.

Hugs and thanks to suilven for betaing this for me, and to all of you who faved this or left reviews. Glad you enjoyed!