Here he was again, Vince Korsak, half in the bottle and he wasn't stopping. If the fates served him well, he would walk in to Cavanaugh's office in the morning and puke on his desk. Show his boss what he really thought to be sandbagged with this horrible task. Not only was Jane's fate in his hands, but Maura's too. And Frost. Hell, Frankie would probably catch shit if his sister was put on the beach for whatever Cavanaugh thought that she did or didn't do.

Stomach sour and full of whiskey, he hit play. Again. The session picked up right where he had left off.

So you shot yourself to save her? Did it enter your mind that you were essentially committing suicide?

No. Not at all. I'm a cop. We put ourselves at risk to save innocents. That's what we do.

Take the cop out of it, Jane. Would you have done the same thing if you weren't a cop?

Yes.

Why?

Why? Because it was the right thing to do. She hadn't done anything to warrant a bullet in her brain. I chose to protect her.

So, you would have done it even if you weren't a cop?

Of course. She is my friend.

Are you like this with all of your friends?

I really don't have many friends like her, but yes, I would.

Why don't you have many friends?

It's the job. It creates segregation. It's hard to have friends that aren't in the field. And those in the field are normally people you work with. I like to try to separate work me from social me. And then I end up with no friends.

And why do you not have many friends like her, as you put it?

It's kind of complicated with her. We're friends, but…

But what?

I don't think I'm comfortable with this.

This is all private, Jane. No one but me and you will know about this. I need you to trust me and help me see into your life. To help you overcome the issues at hand. I can make you stronger. I can help you past Charles Hoyt.

Okay, fine, here it goes…fuck….Okay. From the moment I met her, I wanted the house and two kids bit. And I don't even really like kids. But if she asked me to paint my shoes yellow, I would. It's stupid. I know she wants to be married. Have kids, settle down. And for a while, I didn't know that it was with me. Then I realized it. She wanted me to share her life with. Wants me to. Ever since I figured that out, I have gone out of my way to protect her. You know, she's not what you think she is. Well, I don't know if you have talked to her yet, but all of her money and family influence, well, it's really not her. Yes, she is rich as shit and powerful, but she doesn't flaunt it. She would rather not talk about it. But if she had to, she would use it. I mean, shit, she could be living in Italy with no worries, but here she is in Boston doing routine autopsies. She is slumming. But she's not. She wants to be a part of a solution. And she is.

So, what you are saying is that you date men, but you want a life with her?

Complicated. Yes. And she dates men. And she wants a life with me. How fucked up is that?

Looks like both of you are waiting for the other shoe to drop.

What shoe? Feels like a hammer. I swear, if my Lu knew, he'd probably shit a brick. I'd be beached for a while. But no one gets it.

Gets what?

That no matter what, I am a professional. I work as a professional. If Korsak had been coming out of the station and not Maura, I would have shot myself just as I did when it was Maura. If Korsak was in danger I would have saved him just like I saved her. Men can be such assholes. Cavanaugh probably thinks I did it because it was Maura. I would have done it for him.

So you feel you have no objectionable issues with Doctor Isles?

I don't think so, no. I care a lot about her, but who doesn't form strong bonds in their life? You can't deny someone for being human, can you? I can't be Robo Cop all of the time. I am a person. I have feelings.

Are you in love with her?

Ah, Jeeze…I told you…it's complicated.

And?

And…I mean…I…Christ, this isn't easy….

Jane? Just tell me what you feel.

I love her. I have loved her since the day I met her, but the love grew. At first it was fate, the way she looked at me, the way I responded. And all I could think about was her. As we grew, or attraction morphed into friendship, with hints of..I don't know…desire? But I think I tossed those plans aside. We were drinking one night and got to talking about life and love and the future, and she said "Jane, the only one I want by my side, raising my babies is you." I didn't know what to say. Cause, it's what I want too, but I can't ruin a friendship over a petty fuck.

Is that how you see her? A petty fuck?

No! God, no. I see her as my life partner. I see her as the one who could save me.

Sounds like she is already saving you, Jane.

It's hard. I've never had to be saved before.

We are all human, Jane.