Chapter 38: Tim
This was way too easy. How could escape be as simple as this? The frigid morning air washed over my wings. I flew as quickly as I could, Ruidi in front of me and Charlie behind.
Suddenly, as I turned around, I slammed into a big, spherical fluffball.
"What the-" I said, mouth full of fluff.
"SQUAWK!"
"Everyone look out!" Ruidi shouted. He struck a dramatic pose, then said, "Phoenix-"
Silence.
"Uhhh, Ruidi, Caiyi currently is not available," Charlie said.
"SQUAWK, SQUAWK!" said the fluffball again
I slooowly backed away from- from- whatever that thing was.
The fluffball started squawking again "SQUAWK! PRISONERS-"
"SHH!" Ruidi shouted at the fluffball, being not much quieter than that... thing himself. He grabbed some... thing out of his pocket and stuffed it into the thing's... thing that resembled a beak. I really need to go get more synonyms for the word thing.
Suddenly, the... fluffball stopped squawking. Its... thing that resembled a beak made disgusting chewing noises. "Yum! Hey you birdie boy, do you have any more of that?" the thing said.
Ruidi stared at it. I nudged him. "The thing's talking to you." I whispered.
"Hey! I heard that! I'm not deaf, you know. Why, I actually have really good hearing, much better than yours. Did you know that I once..." the thing kept blabbering on, and on, and on.
Finally, Charlie wearily said, "Mister McFluffball, please stop talking. You're worsening my hearing."
I coughed to stifle my laughter. Both Charlie and Mr McFluffball glared at me. Well in Mr McFluffball's case he just came up close to me with him unblinking beady black eye of his.
I smacked him and he slammed into a wall. He started squawking- and loud.
"NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! YOU'VE RUINED MY PLUMAGE! BAD BOY!"
"SHH!" Ruidi screamed, not much quieter.
"Will you two just BE QUIET, for once!" I whispered fiercely. "We're going to be found out soon!"
As if on cue, a random guard appeared out of nowhere, looked around, then disappeared again.
"See?" I told them. "So be quiet, okay?"
"Okay, fine." Ruidi said, not sounding happy at all. He glanced around, as if taking inventory of the things around him. "Well... I have wings, you have wings, Charlie has wings... We could fly out of here."
"No you aren't." Fluffball spoke. "If you're leaving, I'm leaving too, and you're not about to leave me 'cuz some guards'll start leaving their posts to hunt down some leaving kids if you leave me."
Charlie raised an eyebrow, impressed at how many "leaving"s the fat bird managed to squeeze into one sentence.
Ruidi turned around slowly and appraised Fluffball's miniscule wings. "Well." he finally said, "Your wings are too small to carry your corpulent body, so..."
"HEY!" the fluffball said in a shrill voice. "I may not be a walking dictionary, but I know an insult when I hear one!"
Ruidi rolled his eyes. "As I was saying before you so politely interrupted me, you can't possibly fly on those tiny wings."
"You're wrong!" Fluffball shrieked.
"Hey, hey, keep it down, willya?" I whispered.
"You're wrong." he said, in a slightly softer voice. "I haven't really tried... so..."
Internally, I sighed. Obviously this bird had never tried flying because he knew, from some primal instinct- or was it avian instinct- deep inside him that he was simply too fat to zip around on normal bird-sized wings. But Mr. McFluffball obviously didn't like being told that, and also probably strongly disliked Ruidi by now. He was, put simply, in denial.
He jumped up and flapped around, then fell smack onto the ground.
"OUCH!" He screamed. Ruidi quickly stuffed another... thing into his mouth.
"A regal bird like me will never accept such bribes!" the fluffball declared, before chewing thoughtfully and swallowing. "Mmm... delicious!"
Ruidi slapped his forehead so hard he literally fell over. Just then, a giant aura roared through the hallways. Charlie instantly threw some sort of smoke bomb. It flowed over us, and I started to disappear. Mr McFluffball started to squawk.
"AHHHHH! MY BEAUTIFUL FEATHERS ARE DISAPPEARING!" He screeched.
"Shut up!" Charlie yelled and slapped him backhanded. He hit the wall and lay there stunned, just long enough to completely disappear. He regained his senses and opened his beak again, just in time for Ruidi to shove a cork into his mouth. Charlie started pounding the ground and laughing so hard tears came out of his eyes. I sighed to myself. Was I the only serious one here?
They finally calmed down when a guard walked past. I held my breath, and then blackness consumed me. I felt myself collapsing, with my friends right behind me.