Chapter Three

Vinny

Waking up in the alley next to the Drunken Clam, Brian looked around to find that he was covered in trash, specifically a newspaper from three weeks ago, a broken condom, a used banana peel and a discarded McDonald's milkshake. Shaking himself off, Brian stood up and stretched his limbs as if he were a cat. Nonchalantly Brian made his way out of the alleyway and cautiously looked out onto the sidewalk.

"Alright Jasper" Brian said looking behind him, "It's clear, let's get out of here while the getting's good."

Brian got no reply, turning around, he faced an empty alleyway.

"Jasper" Brian called, "Where'd you go?"

Nothing, the only sound that could be heard was the faint ruffling of a garbage can on the other side of the alleyway, the result of a rat who was contently searching for food.

"Hey asshole" a voice called from nowhere, "What do you think you're doing, waking me up in the middle of the night?"

Brian looked up at the sky; it was obviously daylight, for he could see the sun overhead, the birds were chirping in a nearby tree as if they had to do that every day to signify that it was morning to the blind that were not in direct sunlight.

"Its morning genius" Brian replied, looking in the direction that he perceived the voice to be coming from. "The sun is out, the birds are chirping..."

Brian sniffed the air in front of him, he could smell alcohol, it was strong, strong enough to tell him that whoever the voice belonged to was drunk, which gave at least a partial explanation for the statement.

"Yeah?" the voice continued, "What day is it?"

Brian shrugged and gave his best guess, for in all honesty he had no idea on what day it was and he didn't really care.

"I think it's Wednesday" Brian answered, "But it could also be Friday. Take your pick."

The voice laughed in response, it was hardy, as if it were amused.

"Friday it is then...Say what's your name anyway?"

Brian did not answer the question, rationalizing that it was a completely insane idea to give a name to an ominous voice.

"Come out to where I can see you" Brian demanded, "Then I'll decide to give my name."

The voice only continued to laugh, "Fair enough" it replied, "I'll comply oh Grand Master."

A small rock landed in the alley, looking up Brian could see a rusted fire escape; in this fire escape was a dog. Its fur was tan; the correct word would be champagne. Collarless, like Brian, the dog had a strange mark that went around his neck; Brian assumed it was a ligature mark, for that would be the only logical explanation. The dog's eyes were a light blue, almost grey, stormy in nature but not violent. The dog's left ear was partially cut off, most likely due to a fight; on his stomach was a distant scar that ran the length of his body, also from a fight.

Stepping down from the fire escape, the dog shook itself off and introduced itself; its demeanor was casual and yet carried with it a sense of respect, as it knew where it belonged in the world.

"Now" the dog began, showing that it had an Italian accent, "I believe introductions are in order."

Brian for some reason heard the faint sound of a trombone; he decided to roll with it, playing it off as his imagination.

"The name's Vinny" the dog continued, "Mind explaining to me what you were doing in my alley?"

"Your alley?" Brian asked, completely perplexed as why a dog would own an alleyway.

"I've lived in this alleyway for the past seven years" Vinny explained, "By social standards it's mine. City approved and everything-"

Vinny pointed to a sign on the side of the Drunken Clam, it read Vinny's Alley.

"See."

Brian shook his head, "Whatever" he replied, "Listen Vinny have you seen a dog around? Looks like me but frailer, not a lot of self esteem, has a inferiority complex, is scared of his own shadow with an unknown mental disorder?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about" Vinny answered, "And good job with the formalities No Name, real classy."

Brian rolled his eyes; he was starting to get increasing annoyed with Vinny, mostly because he had something to say on every issue that came up.

"Brian" Brian said introducing himself, "Now, help me sniff him out."

Vinny jumped in surprise, for the request was both unusual and uncomfortable at the same time.

"Sniff him out?" Vinny asked looking for clarification "With what, furthermore who?"

Brian shook his head in disbelief; obviously it was uphill from here. It was everything that Brian had not to simply head for the city limits, still he found himself heading for the nearest park with nothing but a hunch and a gut feeling. Vinny, for some reason, decided to follow him.

"Where do we start Grand Master?" Vinny began as he caught up to Brian, who rolled his eyes in response.

"Any particular reason why you're following me?" Brian asked annoyingly, completely ignoring the question as if it was never asked.

Vinny huffed, "Hey you're the one who asked for help" he defended, "Consider yourself lucky that I'm giving it asshole. I could just as easily leave you by yourself and get back to what I was doing-"

"So sleeping?" Brian replied, cutting Vinny off, "Do you anything else besides that?"

Vinny laughed as if he were insulted by the remark. "Here's all you need to know about me" Vinny answered, "I like money, music, drinking, sex and women, in reverse order. I hate annoying people, ridiculous personal questions, friendships, stupidity, the government and-"

"You could've just said "I hate everything that breathes" and it would've been a lot shorter" Brian replied.

Vinny laughed again, for he couldn't agree more. "I like you Brian" Vinny said honestly, "I think this is going to be the start of beautiful partnership."

Brian severely doubted the possibility.

The park wasn't very busy during this time of day, most of the people who came here on a regular basis wouldn't arrive for another thirty minutes or so, giving Brian and Vinny plenty of time to find Jasper and the cousins enough time to skip town without anyone noticing. Vinny carefully sniffed the air trying to catch Jasper's scent.

"Hey Brian" Vinny said, "Does this friend of yours smell like Listerine mouthwash, Axe body spray and sweat?"

Brian nodded, "Yeah why?"

Vinny shrugged and gave a straight answer, "No particular reason" he began, "Just that it's coming from up this tree."

Vinny pointed towards a large oak tree in the middle of the park. Brian followed Vinny's paw up to find Jasper on a high branch barking his head off.

"Get back here you stupid squirrel" Jasper demanded, "Come down a few branches so I can bite your head off!"

Brian ran up to the base of the tree as fast as he could, "Jasper" Brian yelled, "What the hell do you think you're doing? Get down here!"

Jasper shook his head rapidly, trying to get himself back in order. Casually Jasper turned towards Brian and smiled as if he had just woken up from a hard sleep.

"Hey Brian" Jasper exclaimed happily, "What are you doing down there?"

Brian rolled his eyes, it was obvious that Jasper had no idea that he was several up a tree. Still despite this, Brian couldn't help but laugh at Jasper's predicament.

"Jasper" Brian continued, "Do me a favor buddy...look down."

Jasper did as he was told and looked down; he remained unfazed as if being up trees was a normal thing for him to do. After a few seconds Jasper gave a second look, this time he gave the appropriate reaction and screamed as loudly as he possibly could.

"Brian!" Jasper yelled, "How did I get up here?"

Vinny laughed in disbelief, "Is he serious?" he thought to himself, "If so this is the saddest thing I've ever seen."

Vinny casually leaned against the base of the tree and looked up at Jasper with a friendly smile, completely with his yellow teeth showing, disgusting but sincere.

"How's it going?" Vinny asked rhetorically, "The name's Vinny, any particular reason why you're in my tree?"

Jasper shook his head no; his was beginning to shake violently out of nervousness. Brian only scoffed, for Vinny was obviously pulling the same trick that he used on him five minutes ago.

"You're telling me this is your tree too?" Brian began coldly, "What, do the people just give you stuff just to shut up you up or is there an actual reason behind it?"

Vinny laughed, for the answer was simpler than Brian was making it out to be. "This is my neighbor Brian" he explained, "Therefore everything here is mine. Just like it is to everyone else who lives around here."

Brian huffed, not believing that it could be that simple or that Vinny could be so protective over something as stupid as a tree.

"You are perhaps the dumbest dog I've ever met" Brian declared, "And that's saying something believe me I've met a lot of stupid ones and you sir, take the cake."

Vinny looked around for anything resembling a cake, taking Brian's statement literally for the sole purpose of annoying him further. When he found no such thing Vinny turned his attention back to Jasper.

"Just jump down" Vinny suggested, "I'll catch yah."

Jasper shook his head again; his eyes nervously reached Brian, begging him for help.

"Get me down from here!" Jasper exclaimed, "I don't want to die!"

Vinny sighed in pity, "You're not going to die" he reassured, "Now do me a favor. Stop being such a little bitch and jump already!"

Brian growled defensively at this, "Hey, no one calls him a bitch."

Vinny rolled his eyes annoyingly and turned back to Brian, he had had enough of pleasantries.

"I'm only saying what I know to be true" Vinny replied, "He's acting like a bitch, so I called him one. What's the big deal anyway? You guys together or something?"

Brian unsheathed his claws as a response, "I'll have you know that he's family to me. Now I'm going to give you three seconds to apologize before I make you wish you never crawled out of that hole that you call a home."

"Well well" Vinny declared, "Look at the balls on this guy. You're certainly no one's bitch ain't yah Brian? Want to back those words with teeth or words? Either way you're going to end up face down in a ditch."

Before any of them could make a move Jasper landed hard on Vinny's back, causing both of them to fall to the ground in extreme pain. Jasper, surprisingly, stood up first and kicked Vinny as hard as he could in the teeth.

"Who's the bitch in this relationship again?" Jasper asked as he leaned in, spitting in Vinny's face, "Is it you? I think so."

Brian relaxed and laughed, for Jasper's performance couldn't have been better. As Jasper took what little possessions Vinny had on his person, Brian pulled out a camera and snapped a picture of Vinny's unconscious body.

"That's makes Number 217" Brian declared, "Now that we're done, can we get out of here?"

Jasper nodded and shook himself off, "Sure thing Brian...and good job, really convincing."

Brian waved him off, "I still can't believe you thought he would fall for it. I mean after all look at him, he's a street thug."

Jasper huffed, "Thugs are no match for brains Brian. You know that. Now come on, let's revel in our victory!"

Brian laughed as Jasper tossed him Vinny's wallet as they made their way to the Clam, ordered two rounds of Pawtucket before hopping the nearest bus out of town.