Part 2

If Clementine looked really closely, she could make out the tabby cat she had been tracing with the tips of her fingers on the snow-covered rock. Though she had loved doing it when she was younger, it had been years since she had drawn, put crayons or chalk to anything. She was finding herself a tad rusty. No real use in drawing or coloring things in the apocalypse.

"What do you think, AJ? Does it look like a cat?" she asked the gurgling baby who was resting in a basket in her lap they had stumbled upon the day before. He blinked owlishly at her in reply.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Once, she had asked Ben and Duck to guess what her drawing was of the stray cat she and Lee had spotted outside the motor inn during the first couple of days there. She had wanted to play with it, but Lee had gently held her back, warning her against it since it hissed at them whenever they tried getting close to it. Even so, she had still felt so sorry for the cat, believing it was misunderstood and just lonely.

Ben had guessed it was a dog, but he had been too shaken up with what happened to his friends to play the guessing game. Duck hadn't gotten it either, but she wasn't sure whether he actually thought she had drawn a goat or if he had been teasing her.

Going back to fixing up the head of her cat, she heard rustling behind her.

Damn it, I thought the area was clear...

She instinctively reached for her gun, though it didn't sound like it was a walker. She spun around towards the source of the noise, but didn't see anything in front of her. It wasn't until it happened again and she looked down that she saw it. A four-legged creature scurrying across the snow-covered forest floor, its snout raised up to her almost as if in greeting.

"Look, AJ, it's a raccoon." She put her gun away and tilted the basket forward a little so AJ could see, gritting her teeth as the throb in her shoulder started up again. She thought the meds she had taken that morning would have been enough. She just hoped it would stay a dull ache so she wouldn't have to be wasting anymore. Who knew when they would really need it?

She turned her focus back on the raccoon who had paused in his walk, staring at her as if he didn't know what to make of these strange beings who had come to his home. Certainly less hostile than the raccoon she had encountered back at Parker's Run. More like the one she had spotted in her treehouse before...

Before all this started.

The opening of a door caught Clem's attention, startling the raccoon who scurried away into the trees. She rose herself up from the stone slab and grabbed AJ's basket and her bag of supplies, heading to the porch of the abandoned cabin where Kenny was waiting for them.

"All clear. Not much to the place, but it'll get us out of the snow."

Just in time too as a gust of wind cut right through Clem's jacket. And after wandering around in the woods for a good portion of the day with the threat of a smooth winter sky threatening to rain more snow down on the world at any moment and dusk now upon them, she'd take anything.

She entered the cabin, taking in what she could in the dim light. A fireplace with some logs and kindling still in the pit, a couch and armchair that looked past their prime with rips, tears, and stuffing poking out of the holes, some dead leaves covering the floor, a small kitchen area tucked at the end of the room, and two other open doors, presumably a bathroom and bedroom. It almost reminded her of a condensed, one-story version of the cabin down south, the refuge of those now dead. Every single one of them.

Pete, Nick, Alvin, Rebecca, Carlos, Sarah, Luke. All of them had deserved more than what they got.

"We need to get a fire goin'," Kenny said, shutting the door behind him and throwing the lock, breaking her away from her thoughts. "Get AJ and you warm."

Clem followed Kenny, who went from the front door to getting on his knees in front of the fireplace.

"I'm not that cold," she said, even though she could still feel the sting of the wind on her skin.

Kenny let out a puff of a laugh as he began rooting around in his bag. "Can't fool me, hon. Can't count the number of times Duck faked being sick to get outta school. Not that I blamed him."

"I liked school." Except for math (a dislike she had been happy Lee shared). And homework. And that mean boy who smelled like he bathed in trash heaps.

"And my mom would've been able to tell if I was lying," she continued. Which had always been inconvenient the next morning after staying up past her bedtime or trying to hide her vegetables (mainly beets) in her napkin and throw them away when no one was looking. Her mom had also had a gift for making her feel guilty about that stuff.

She never thought she would have missed that.

Pulling herself away from the memories of her mom, Clementine noticed how quiet the room suddenly seemed, that the rummaging in Kenny's bag had stilled.

"Kenny?" she gently called, hoping to shake him away from that depressing place before he traveled too far to it. Luckily, the sounds of shifting supplies against fabric filled the cabin again, pulling out the matches he was searching for.

His attempts to get a working flare to light the kindling were not as successful. But he held it together, only letting out one swear of frustration. He was not giving into a long string of curses or kicking at the logs which he likely would have done before they were on their own, living up to his promise to her of trying to change.

Clem felt around in her bag for her own pair of matches, her fingers closing around a thin, pointy object and a smooth round one instead, things she had seen light a fire before, whose owner had given back to her.

"Versatility is not over-rated..."

Jane's nail file and stone in hand, she held them out to Kenny. She didn't know if he knew who the previous owner was of the nail file, but if he did, he didn't say anything, merely taking the items with a murmur of thanks.

Clem wanted to ask Kenny if he was ok, but was prevented by a cry from AJ, a sound Clem had learned meant he needed food. While Kenny worked on getting the fire going, Clem rooted around in her bag for some baby formula for AJ, hoping to settle him down some. Though she had yet had a time where her holding him, rocking him, soothing him, failed.

Clem pulled AJ out of the makeshift carrier, settling herself on the floor against the couch, which just looked more comfortable than sitting on the actual couch. She fed him a little from the bottle, then held up him and patted him gently on his back, just as Kenny showed her how to after feeding him.

As she finished, the room then filled with faint light from the now running fire. Clem looked over at Kenny, who was staring back at her tenderly at the sight of her and AJ, who was now firmly settled in Clem's arms. "Really do look like a big sister."

Her gaze shifted down to AJ, who was back to gurgling happily at her.

"I always wanted a sibling. Really wanted a sister," she confessed. "Sometimes I made my babysitter Sandra pretend we were secret sisters." She stopped, remembering how she had told Jane the same, before the image of Jane and that knife sticking out of her chest popped up again.

Kenny didn't comment on her abrupt pause, instead placing himself beside her on the floor.

"I remember practically begging my parents one year for one." She found herself able to continue upon his presence beside her. "Promising I'd take care of her, believing they could just make her appear out of thin air. They'd get this sad look on their faces, tell me it wasn't so simple." She subconsciously hugged AJ closer. "Found that out about a lot of things."

She chanced a glance up at Kenny, his eye sparkling with an emotion she couldn't exactly place. Regret, certainly, but something else she couldn't name.

"I'm sorry you've had to, darlin'," he said. "Ain't fair for you to have to grow-up in a world like this."

Clem's gaze broke away from Kenny as she slowly realized his comment wasn't just about the past, alluding to something he had told her two days earlier...

"Where you can be a kid for awhile..."

"I don't regret it." She knew she didn't need to explain. One look into his glossy eye told her he knew exactly what she was talking about.

And she didn't regret it. Not for a second. Perhaps she and AJ would have been safer, made homes for themselves at Wellington, but she knew it would never have felt right without him.

She had thought she was dreaming at the time. After everything they had been through, the smoke billowing behind a fortress made up of shipping crates seemed too good to be true.

In a matter of minutes, she had woken up again. The woman Edith acting as guard, towering above them though she was anything but intimidating. Throwing down a bag of supplies to them. Telling them they were too late and Wellington was filled to capacity and wasn't taking anymore people. Kenny had begun protesting to her, that they had gone through so much to get there. Clem had wanted to join in, but she couldn't trust herself to speak, else she risked giving into the tears of exhaustion she so desperately wanted to shed.

She had prepared herself to tug Kenny away, think of something to say that would take away the sting of yet another crushing disappointment. Then there he was, pleading with Edith to take her and AJ. She had tried to get a word in, but he had gone on, begging Edith that he needed Clem and AJ to be safe, even offering to fore-go the supplies in exchange for their access into Wellington. Finally worn down by the pleas, Edith had gone off to ask about letting the two in, leaving Clem and AJ alone with Kenny.

She had been unable to take his eyes off him, something he had noticed even though he had been staring straight ahead. She had forced herself to say something, vehemently protesting at staying without him. He had snapped at her that she was, but the frustration melted away in a second, replaced by pained resignation.

Edith then came back, informing them Wellington could open its doors for Clem and AJ, but not Kenny. Then he had handed AJ off to Clem and took her shoulders into his trembling hands, begging her to stay where it was safe, where they would have a chance.

"I don't trust myself to keep you two safe. Not anymore..."

Despite her best attempts up to that point, she had finally broken down, tearfully demanding why he was doing this, asking this of her. The sobbing only grew in strength as he continued, trying to reassure her, his voice now heavy under the weight of his own tears.

"You'll meet people; you'll make friends. People better than me. Good people. That...that don't have to look at you...and feel ashamed at what they've put you through."

She had known in that moment.

She couldn't leave him behind.

She had already been forced to say goodbye to too many people; in the face of it again, she couldn't do it, deprive her and AJ of the one person who she knew would look out for them. Genuinely care about them. She couldn't make herself watch as he went into the woods to brave the world alone again, possibly losing himself even further in that dark place of his. After everything he had been through, he deserved better. Another chance at having a family to call his own. To have people care about him too.

To maybe even be like a father to them. Like children to him.

Jane hadn't counted on that, on how deep her affection for Kenny had become. Or perhaps she did and thought tricking both of them into thinking AJ was dead and pushing Kenny over the edge was the only way to get Clem to see what Jane saw, that his faults Clementine was well aware of defined him. But it had backfired. Horribly.

Despite the revelation Jane had lied about AJ (made all the worse as she had grown to like Jane and could tell Jane had cared for Clem too), Clem never believed Jane deserved to die for it, however upsetting it was. She hadn't wanted to see Jane or Kenny get hurt and had tried so hard to get them to stop fighting, but in the final moment, she had sensed it was going to end for one of them, no matter what she did.

She hadn't thought she would be put in this situation with Kenny and Jane, though she probably should have. With how things were going, she would have thought Luke and Kenny would have been at the other's throats. Until they had seemed to reconcile that night over the fire, until Luke had been dragged down to a watery grave (yet another person she had failed to save). But whether or not things would have been different if Luke was in Jane's place was irrelevant, didn't change the fact she'd had to choose between one of the two people before her struggling in the snow.

When she had held that gun up and pointed it at Kenny, even as he had been on the verge of overpowering Jane and killing her with her own knife, her finger had trembled on the trigger. Her head still swimming from reopening the shoulder wound and striking her head on the ground. She had known her aim wouldn't be accurate. If she shot him, she couldn't guarantee the bullet wouldn't be lethal. But if she didn't, Jane would surely suffer the consequences.

"Part of growing up is doing what's best for the people you care about. Even if sometimes that means hurting someone else."

Suddenly, she hadn't seen Kenny or Jane. All she had seen was Lee right in front of her, eyes closed as he waited for the bullet to the head to end his life.

She had had no choice with Lee, however much it pained her to do it. He had been bit; there was no going back from that. This…

She had realized she couldn't go through with it again. Not with Kenny, not when she knew deep within her that he wasn't the man Jane (as well as their other companions along the way) had been trying to convince her he was. That his own anger outbursts and volatile behavior often made him appear to be. Not when she had evidence to the contrary. Not when she had felt him cradling her gently in his arms, gingerly wiping away the stray tear on her cheek with his thumb, begging her to hang on just as she lost consciousness from the shock of the bullet passing through her shoulder.

That man wasn't gone.

With a heavy heart, ignoring Jane's calls for help, Clem had looked away, softly weeping as she heard the sickening sound of a blade piercing flesh and Jane's final yell of pain before quieting all together.

She pushed thoughts of Jane out of her mind again. She doubted she'd ever be able to fully forget that day, the role she played, in failing to convince them to back down.

Kenny plucked AJ from Clem's lap, cradling him in one arm, using the other to wrap it around Clem's shoulders. She scooted herself closer so her head was leaning against his own shoulder, watching the wood burn and listening to the snap and crackle, this moment harkening back to the one at Parker's Run. Before everything went to hell again.

"I didn't want to leave you or AJ," he said, breaking the silence. "You know that, right, Clem?"

"I know. You were just doing what you thought was best." Putting family first.

Kenny let out a tired sigh. "Still may be. Who knows how long these supplies will last us." Her hand subtly drifted up to the wound in her shoulder at the remark, brushing her fingers against it. "And even with the map we found, still have no idea what we'll find out there..."

She cut him off. "We'll figure it out. Together. Don't give up on this yet, Kenny."

Even though they had no idea what would happen from one day to the next, whether this would indeed last, she found herself able to truly believe things could come out alright. For the moment, they just had to focus on making it for a couple of months, stay in the area in the hope Wellington would take more people like Edith said. Otherwise, they could be going through this battle all over again. But they'd cross that bridge when they got there.

She felt Kenny squeeze her shoulder. "I won't, darlin'. We'll find a way to make this work."

He pulled both AJ and her closer, allowing her to reposition her head so it was pressed against his chest while he wrapped them in a cocoon of safety and parental affection, again so evocative of Lee and her mom and dad. "For all of us."

Clem didn't know how long they stayed like that, but they had to finally break away for their own meals, partaking in the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in their bags. Eating them had Clem reminiscing to Kenny about her dad taking her camping a couple of times, her mom always packing more sandwiches for them than they knew what to do with. But all she had seemed to care about with camping was trying to smuggle baby birds and bunnies home. It hit her as she talked that this night had been the most she had thought of her parents in quite some time; it felt good.

She was surprised when Kenny jumped in with his own story about the fishing trips he had taken with Duck, with Duck really throwing himself into it as he had with everything. He wasn't able to talk about it for long, it obviously still hurting him to talk about Duck or Katjaa, but it was still a small step forward.

Eventually it was time to turn in for the night. Kenny offered to take first watch. She agreed, telling him to wake her up whenever he felt tired. Though she could have gone into the bedroom, she felt more comfortable staying out in the main room. Not really wanting to sleep on the floor (though she certainly hadn't been a stranger to that), she decided to try lying on the couch. Though the cushions were worn and smelled musty, the couch was softer than she had originally thought.

She lay flat on her back as she could never fall asleep on her right side and her left certainly wasn't an option. Watching the snowflakes gently fall from the sky outside the window, she easily drifted off.

Her sleep was anything but restful, trapped in the throws of a nightmare. Not of walkers or of those who had died, of which there were plenty; she'd had a particularly nasty one recently reliving Sarah being devoured. Instead, this one was of the Stranger, the man who had lured her away. Trapped in that closet again, this time the Stranger taunting her through the door, unable to block him out even with covering her ears. Telling her no one would come for her, save the girl who got everyone around her killed. Then he had left her, with only the darkness of the closet closing in around her and the sound of her crying to keep her company until she finally jolted awake.

It took a moment to regain awareness of her surroundings. To take in the dying fire in the fireplace and the snow falling at a much faster rate than when she fell asleep. Most importantly, she realized the whimpers in her dream weren't actually coming from her.

She poked her head up and spotted Kenny in the armchair, having turned it to face more towards the door, a fussy AJ bundled in his arms.

"Shh, shh, little guy. Don't wanna wake Clem up."

She clearly must not have been making much noise in her sleep.

She was about to tell Kenny that it was alright, that she was already awake. However, something stopped her, forced her to lay her head back down on the cushion. She wanted to give him this time to himself, but was also curious to see if he'd say more.

She didn't have to wait long. "You know, it's real amazin' to watch, the way she has with you, junior. You must've taken quite a shine to her. Not surprisin'. She has that effect on alotta folks. She's always good for a smile."

She almost broke the illusion, then, hearing him say that, with such affection directed towards her. But she held back, remembering why she was doing this, waiting for him to continue.

"Sometimes hard to believe she's the same little girl I met at Hershel's, worried 'bout spiders in her hair," he said with light amusement at the memory of when they first met. "Lee would've been damn proud to see her now."

She hoped so. Ever since he died, she had been trying to hold on to what Lee taught her, to retain what humanity she could, to stay strong even when things were at their darkest. It was all she could do to honor his memory.

"But it's easy to forget she's still a kid," he continued, all traces of that amusement now gone. "The guilt she's carryin', over folks we've lost...I wish I could take that away. But all I did was add to it."

Could he be talking about Jane? He had to be, noticed how quiet she had been in the early days of their journey to Wellington.

He stopped to comfort AJ again and Clem thought that would be it, but after Kenny calmed him, he carried on. "She could've shot me back at the rest stop, could've stayed at Wellington. But she didn't. The trust she places in me, even after everythin'…it's more than I deserve…"

He trailed off, sounding just as emotional as at the gates of Wellington, but he recovered. "But I promise, Alvie. I promise I'll live up to it. You're both worth it. You'll always be."

She gave a watery smile at that, at hearing the confidence and determined drive of his back where it belonged. The smile remained on her face as she closed her eyes again and fell back asleep, as content as she could ever hope to be.

It was still good enough for her.