Stephanie closed her eyes and tried to think as clearly as possible.

"Stephanie can you please try to include as many thoughts as you can remember as well as things that happened, you know the drill by now. You did that very well this morning." She was ready to begin.

I was making breakfast for the girls. Usually they are little angels but I remember that day they were stressing me big time, arguing and not doing as I asked them.

I remember my phone ringing but I was too busy to answer it. Then I heard Aurora say "Mommy! Granddad Vince would like to speak to you." I remember I didn't appreciate the interruption at that time in the morning, I mean he must have know I would be busy but I thought it was really cute how she had said it.

I took the phone from her and told her, "You're going to be a business woman like mommy when you grow up are you sweetheart?" She said, "Not until I'm old like you." Thanks baby girl I appreciate that.

"Hi dad, I'm kind of in the middle of a dozen things at once here do can we..."

"Stephanie listen to me please. I need you to sit down somewhere and listen to me okay?"

I didn't take his advice and sit down but I could tell by his voice it was something serious, "Dad are you okay? Is mom okay?"

He started crying, "No baby, no she's not okay." Well tell me what's wrong for god's sake! He hasn't called me baby for a long time. He used to do that to calm me.

"Dad what happened? Tell me."

He started to cry, "The hotel called. Your mom didn't answer her alarm call and she didn't open the door when they were knocking so they went in..."

"Dad what are you saying?" Please don't say it. Please don't.

"Steph your mom is dead. They found her in bed, she died in her sleep."

I put my phone down next to the cooker and sat on the floor leaning back on the kitchen cabinets. I tucked my knees under my chin and I just wanted to stay there. I don't know why. The girls started asking me if I was okay but I couldn't answer them. I just sat there. I can't remember if I was crying but I don't think so. That's not normal right?

One of the girls must have gone to fetch Paul but I don't know who it was. I wasn't taking anything in any more. Paul came in and saw me on the floor, "Steph? Steph? What's wrong? Steph!"

I heard Aurora's voice, "Granddad Vince upset mommy."

"Steph what did your dad say to you? Answer me. What's going on here?"

I could only look at him, I saw that this frightened him but I still couldn't say anything. It just wouldn't happen. He picked up my phone but my dad must have ended the call. Or maybe I did. I don't know. Paul called my dad and obviously my dad told him what had happened.

Of course he was upset but he made a good job of hiding it so that the girls wouldn't start to get upset too. He told them, "Okay girls I don't want you to worry but mommy doesn't feel too good? I need you to give us some time alone so I can make her better, so can you go and watch TV?"

I don't think Aurora bought it, she's a little too old for that, "Dad..."

"Aurora take your sisters and put the TV on please. Can you do that for me?"

They went off to watch TV, Bless them they really are such angels. After they left Paul lifted me off the floor and helped me sit at the kitchen table. He kept talking to me but I can't remember if I said anything back to him.

He must have gone and told the girls. I'm pretty sure I didn't do it. I think I would remember that. In fact I don't remember who he got to take the kids when we flew out to be with mom.

Stephanie felt the doc's hand on her shoulder, "Okay Stephanie, sit up and dry your eyes for me. We'll take five minutes." She had been trying so hard to remember as much as possible that she hadn't realise she was crying. She sat up and used the tissue he handed her to dry her eyes, "How did I do?"

The doc was still writing in his book but he said, "Good, we got more than yesterday. You're still not clear on much that happened after your dad's phone call but you are improving there too. It's to be expected that that is as problem area . That will probably be the last thing we get through before you finish here."

Stephanie didn't like the way he said that, it sounded too much like analysis and not enough like caring. She growled, "A problem area? I'd call learning that my mom is dead a bit more than a problem area!"

He made another note and mumbled, "Okay." She felt that she had either just passed or failed a test of some kind but she did not know which. He'd referred to it in that way to provoke a reaction she was sure of that.

"We have another problem area to discuss don't we Stephanie? Let's see how we go here and then we can finish for the day. Sound good?"

This was the moment she dreaded most about these sessions. Every day she had to go through this, "Doc, I..."

"You know we're going to do this Stephanie so let's just begin shall we? Lie back down for me. Good. Now, you know where we always begin with this. The first time John kissed you."