Chapter 13
Blur
I thought it was just a plain game.
That I never have to commit to something so certain.
Certainty, I don't have to remind myself of its meaning. I know nothing but certain.
Certain, just as I have always known of my condition. Just as I have always known of my future.
Certainty was never a stranger to me.
But you came along.
Cliché as it seems, stupid as it sounds, I know deep down in me, I never saw you coming. And just as the cliché goes, that changed my meaning of certainty.
What's certain now is that I am scared of it. I'm scared of us. I'm scared for us.
And for the first time, I'm scared for me.
I know eventually you'll find me out, but not too early. Was I too conspicuous to you?
But this teenage bliss blinded me of seeing my certainty. It's only my first time. You're my first time. I don't want to be a bastard who goes back on his word. I already bargained your happiness for mine. I already made it official between us. I can't back out now.
You're far too precious to be left alone, to be taken for granted, to be deprived of the best of me.
And I cannot deny for certain that I am falling. Like any lovestruck fool would have.
Yes, I've fallen for you.
That's why I have to restrict the possibility of hurting you. I would have to leave you. I can't think of any way.
Someday you'll thank me for it.
"Any plans for tonight Ruka?" Natsume beamed atop the bags awkwardly piled on his arms.
"Nah", he clicked his tongue, "I'm free, why?"
"Nothing. Ah, nevermind", answered Natsume while loading the last bag on the car. The two days and one night trip to Nagoya commenced on that windy morning and the three homecoming guests bade their goodbyes. It can be seen, though not verbally expressed, that the breeze and autumn sky stir the nostalgic longing after that parting. Or the melancholy autumn brings per se. If absence makes the heart go fonder, so does distance.
As the last goodbyes were bid, the engine roared and wheels swiveled towards the highway covered in temperate autumn blanket. A weekend away from busy streets reeking of thick smoke, as well as the reek of hard work, deadlines, projects and stress. As the three drove down to Tokyo, they were noticeably quiet all throughout the ride. Ruka, obviously missing his childhood home, Mikan who's still unable to describe her feelings, and Natsume who's having a self-fight. After an almost two hours of travel though, the three were finally winding up in each of their comfort zones, and probably zesting up for tomorrow.
It can be said from anybody's point of view that this new comer is a massive head-turner, especially for the ladies in all offices and from all walks of life. Although a new-born temporary employee, his stance was nothing like stupid. He is an expert in his field, that's for sure. Stern composure is what makes up Shiki Masachika's appearance. He was recruited not too long ago and is to work with Kazumi for the company's next launch.
With what seems to be an ordinary day to Mikan, she, like any other ladies in the building, was astonished at the new arrival. She was introduced to Shiki as though she's in the presence of Her majesty the Queen. There was something Spanish and European to his sleek fair hair and long and thin eyes, and his graceful posture. Since he's to work with Kazumi, she'll be seeing him a lot more than frequent.
"Grandpa, shouldn't we tell Natsume about this?" Mikan inquired.
"Certainly. We were just waiting for the final firm of people for the next project. And since Hyuuga is now part of the company, we'll give him his part of the job", the old man answered reassuringly.
"Really? Which department would he be working then?", she grippingly added.
Hiashi, seeing the girly look he remembered plastered on his wife's face when he asked her hand on Mikan, thought the second "No, I won't be placing him under your office", he teasingly stated.
A faint blush, she sheepishly answered "I-I wasn't really planning on working with him.."
"Run along now you," and Mikan went on to her office.
"He's handsome though, that Shiki", Mikan chirped before completely vanishing from sight.
Girls, Hiashi sighed.
.
.
.
"What do you mean it's wavering Natsume?" asked Ruka as he rested both his arms on the railings on the wall.
"Me, I'm wavering."
"Still don't get you", now frowning at his bestfriend.
With a sigh, "I think I should end this now before it starts getting stupid", he scoffed, "in fact, it already starts getting stupid."
"What is?", "Don't tell me", now starting to get worried.
Natsume nodded guiltily, "it just can't happen Ruka."
"I was wrong. I thought it was worth the try, but it wasn't."
"But you two were great together. What would you do then, cut the marriage arrangement off?" Ruka stated, standing up straighter.
"Don't know. Maybe." He half-heartedly smiled, "Ironic. The only way for me to improve my company is through that marriage. But that doesn't matter now."
Ruka shook his head smiling earnestly, "she really got you man", and Natsume could only smirk back.
"What should I do?"
"It's all up to you. But if it was me, I'd live my life. Because no one can live it for me."
"And no one can die in my place", Natsume begrudgingly spat.
"Come on Natsume, don't be so negative!"
"It already is Ruka. Everything is. Since that day all negativeness rushed in like wildfire!"
The two were silent for a while, adjusting to the little dispute they are having. Though both sides are of one goal.
"No, you're wrong. I saw how you changed because of Mikan. I saw the Natsume that should have been when we he was younger. I saw you now."
"..yeah", Natsume sighed. "That was truly a remarkable experience indeed".
"Well then, I wager you'd stop worrying too much and start calling her for your date tonight", Ruka snapped all the while patting the shoulder of his best buddy.
"Maybe".
A sudden ring on Natsume's phone stopped the two's track of thoughts and current state of affairs. Natsume immediately picked up to see who it was to call him in such an importune time, and saw from the screen that it was Mikan.
"Oho! Speaking of the devil—I-I mean angel, your angel. Hehe sorry", Ruka sheepishly apologized.
"Mikan, what is it?"
"Good afternoon Natsume! I just want to tell you the future plans of Ji-chan. Well, they hired someone new today and he'll be under uncle's division. And, wait, are you doing something right now, am I disturbing anything?"
"No, no I'm not doing anything for the moment. Uh, in fact-", Natsume covered his phone and mouthed to Ruka "I'll see you later".
"I am alone in my office", he continued as he hurried back to his office 3 floors from him.
"Oh, that's a relief then. Well, as I was saying, this new person, you might be working with him for the next launch, but I'm not sure—Natsume uhm are you sure I'm not disturbing anything?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Okay then. I'm not sure which branch you'll be assigned to, but I'm sure not in mine."
"Why's that? It would be more productive if you and I work together."
"Really? Why? Anyway Ji-chan said so."
"You must be really disappointed then."
"Well, a little but not that disappointed."
"Oh yeah? I doubt it."
"Well of course I am. Very disappointed in fact."
"Straaange"
"Hm? What is?"
"You seem to be very expressive today."
"W-well.."
"Wait a second. Don't tell me you want something?"
"Uhm, it's not that I want anything from you.. Really, I just-"
"It's okay Polka, you can ask me anything"
As Natsume lost his mind to his phone, he didn't realize he went all the way four floors above his office. Pacing as calmly as he can, he took the time of his life teasing Mikan over the phone, or anytime he gets to. And as if he hadn't had that conversation with Ruka a while ago, he forgot he even had that concern.
"So this is what this is all about?", Natsume teasingly asked.
"Stop embarrassing me already. So what if I want us to date?"
"Haha. I can feel you blushing from here Polka."
"Fine then, I change my mind."
"I seriously doubt that. Fine. Since you begged, I'll go on a date with you."
"You-"
"Good afternoon Mr. Hyuuga. You seem lost sir. Your office is on the 19th floor and this is already 24th sir", said an employee.
"Hm? Oh, so it is", he answered as he turned his heels and went back down.
"Natsume? I heard you were lost. Where are you? I thought you said you were in your office. Were you skipping?"
"No, of course not. I-I was just headed towards my office then you suddenly called"
"Really. Then, hahaha!"
"What's so funny polka?"
"I can see from here you were truly enjoying yourself talking to me.."
This little-! She got me this time. "Flatter yourself polka"
"Haha! I am in fact blushing. Can't wait to see you later"
"I have the same regard for you as well. See you later Polka."
"As what the other villains say, 'The plan seems to be in motion'", a hazy voice came from yet a hazy room.
"It most certainly is", answered a man, blowing from his piper.
"What about that guy? Is he still needed?"
"No. Dispose of him immediately. I'd wager he's being spied at, we can't have someone ruin our plans."
"Understood. What about that guy?"
A low chuckle, "I have just the medicine for him."
"I'll have my exit then", and so he did stood up and took his coat.
Autumn does emit in the air coldness, coldness before the frost take over and freeze everyone's hearts. And in this hazy room, came hazy thoughts of bitter cold. And the man wonders why the thrill of Autumn precedes the excitement of Winter.
Despite the murky portion however, Autumn serves to be a time for romance for some, especially for the two confused people enjoying each other's warmth in yet another unusual dating venues.
"Can we not have dates inside my car, and actually go somewhere more special?" Natsume complained as pleadingly as he can, all the while adjusting to the allotted 'space'.
"But this is private. Other places have tons of people looking at us, and I want to spend time with you alone", Mikan retorted trying to sound dominant.
"You know, saying that makes me think you have plans for me this evening. Are we allowed to do 'it'?", he asked teasing her, all the while eyeing her from below and up.
Mikan's eyes widened in embarrassment and replied, "What?! Now wait a minute Mister, I am not thinking of that impure intention. Why, I it's you men who are always excited for those things."
"Really? Then why do you want to be alone with me?"
"Because!"
"You don't want others to see us together?", he looked cheerless.
"No! I only meant that if people were watching, our behaviors would be restrained. Like I want to do something but I can't because they're watching".
He smiled teasingly, "What particular thing, might I ask, do you want to do to me then?"
Seeing his mischievous smile she answered, "I told you, it's not that thing-"
"I never said anything about that thing.." his teasing never ceased.
Mikan, now wanting to strangle the man half to death, resolved on making her point clear by placing both her palms on either sides of Natsume's face and boldly aimed for a kiss.
Her hold loosened on his face as her hands now made its way around his head and clutched a handful of hair, leaving his tinted ears.
Natsume, ignoring the previous state of shock, retorted by bringing his hands back to where it belong- her waist, and slowly up to her back.
The allotted space made an advantage of making it easy to lessen the distance between them, that it was almost easy-at least to him- to bring Mikan to sit on his lap. Natsume then, in all intelligence, pulled the lever to lower the backseat, making Mikan lean on him completely.
As they broke out for air, they laughed as they realized the awkwardness of their positions. Natsume's neck hurts as it tries to support both their heads, and Mikan's alluring and tempting pose.
"That's what I meant", she victoriously stated.
Natsume nodded, "I have to admit. You've convinced me. I should start advertising for this fresh idea of a romantic getaway. Your position alone is a convincing statement."
Mikan girlishly knocked him on the chest as she tries to slither back to her seat, which was immediately ceased as Natsume held her back.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"As far as I'm concerned Mister, I am in a no comfortable situation."
"That's because you're trying to pull your weight back. Lie down on me totally."
And so she did, after a tiring mental debate on whether to do it or not. She settled on his torso and felt the rising and falling of his chest and heard a little of his heartbeat. And there was nothing that could ruin her night except for that unfitting rock music that totally does not add to the romantic air at all.
However it was not only Mikan who have had mental debates. Natsume too, thought if in the future, he'd still be having that mental debate of whether or not he's making the right decisions. But it is clear that he's feeling hopeful inside that this blur in his heart and mind would vanish, and hopes to still be with this woman he scooped from her seat and unto his lap. As he too was being scooped from his shell and unto her heart.
end of chapter
.
Chapter 13 is served! So sorry for the late upload. My laptop fell from my cabinet (there are no words to describe the gruesome sight of the unfortunate gadget) and so I wasn't able to recover my files immediately. TT I swear it was rough not having my laptop for months. It has been my baby since college. Anyway, so much for the drama, I finally got a way of retrieving ALL, I repeat ALL of my files, and I feel finally at ease. :)
How was it? Reviews?
'Til next time!