Music Inspiration: Mentioned at the end.
Rating: M. Adult themes. Trigger Warning.
Ownership: I don't own Glee, but this is mine.
~ Converting Kurt E Hummel~ Ch 4 Falling Embers ~
The last time she hugged him, was when they were at the airport. He was getting a flight with Joe, they were going to do some charity work with Doctors Without Borders.
"Médecins Sans Frontières." saying it with that accent made it only a little easier to let him go, he was only going for a little while.
His beaming smile, showing how proud he was. To have finally found his niche. Joe had become the doctor he wanted to be, and things just fell into place.
Staring at the fire was mesmerizing. If she closed her eyes, the warmth on her face was like when they'd been at the beach.
"Put a hat on. You're going to burn that pretty face of yours."
She opened her eyes so quickly. Looking around the room, she was certain she heard him.
"I said, you better move back from the fire. Or you're going to burn those slippers of yours." He moved the cushions on the couch and patted the seat next to him. "Come, cuddle with me and have some wine."
"I'm not ready for your cuddles. I'm too upset." But the wine sounded wonderful, and she took the glass from him. "Hmmm, this will help. Thank you so much, though…"
"I'm not offering you more, but I need cuddles. I need hugs too. My heart is breaking, too. And you said you'd help me." He puts the cover around the fire place, picks up 'their' favourite cuddle blanket. Sitting back down, next to her, he pulls her in for support and wraps them both in a bear hug with 'that' blanket.
"I know, I know. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She swaps the hugs. "Come, let me hug you then." Nearly spilling their wine, ruffles of blanket and arms, and legs here and there.
And, as she has been doing a lot of lately. The moment the drinks were put down, she starts cuddling deeper and letting her fingers poke into his sides. "Ow! Ow!"
"What?" Giggles and flutters her bashful eyes. Attempting puppy dog eyes!
"Don't give me that what business. You know what!" and he pokes her nose. And places a gentle kiss on her forehead.
Counting to five, she sighs. And they intertwine their legs. Staring at the fire. And fall into 'that' trance.
No music, no awkwardness. Nothing but the fire light, crackling, and the enjoyable scent of burning mallee root.
So many minutes go by, who can count? Who needs to count time anymore? Time was, is, just now.
No need to speak, they'd already said their peace. Knowing how the other was hurting, aching, wanting. Knowing that they'd get over all this, together, for as long as it would take.
"They won't tell me what really happened." She sobs.
"I know, I know. They won't tell me either." He squeezes her gently. "I think, we just go with what we know. And enjoy the memories that we have."
"Do you think, that we could, possibly ummm?" She puts her face in her hands, pushing them into his chest and muffles the rest of her question.
"I'm not offering you more, you know that. I don't have those urges for you, for your kind. I'm not sure it'd be right to, either." But still he holds her tight, she rearranges her arms and holds him tight too.
"I know that." Don't cry, don't cry. "I'm not suggesting anything more than just falling asleep, here." Don't cry. "On this really wonderfully, comfy couch. It's so big, and I feel so good from the wine." Don't "And the fire is terrific. And I just don't want to get up and leave, ever..." And then weeks of repressed cries flood.
The numbness that came with the shock, breaks away. The ice that had engulfed them both, held them in a bonding trance, cracked. And he cries, too. Big boys do cry!
The love they both had, was as solid and huge as the space shuttle Endeavour. And their own earth shattering news had been like when the Endeavour had broken from the launch pad, full force toward the outer limits of Earth's atmosphere. And the crackling of the fire, reminded them both of how life and love goes on.
"I can't even add sugar to my chocolate or cereal. And I can't lift purple coloured weights any more."
"Blaine, I think I want to go with Joe, when he goes back. I think I want to take up the work where Finn left off?"
"Well. Okay Rachel. It looks like we're going to need passports then."
~ In loving memory of Cory Monteith. ~
Sorry, sort of sorry. Tissues anyone?
Little author notes: I'm always listening to music. Songs loud in my ears, sometimes soft and gentle too. So as far as a music inspiration goes, anything you love that Cory did, as Finn. I never had one piece of his that uplifted more or less.
Currently I am listening to Discovery at Night, Ludovico Einaudi. In a Time Lapse.