"What were you thinking, Aoba?!"
Aoba flinched at the sudden yell from Koujaku—his voice reverberating in the small room they were in, sounding angry and painfully worried at the same time.
"You already know that the forest is dangerous at night and we're forbidden to go there…! Just… what…"
"You're loud… Keep it down, it's still morning." Another voice chimed in with a bored tone, and Aoba didn't even have to peek to see who it came from, since Koujaku's glaring red orbs already answered it. Noiz only huffed in response, ignoring the glare and staring intently at Aoba, which made the man with azure locks uncomfortable. Koujaku looked like he wanted to yell something out of retort, but thankfully Clear took a step between them, creating a physical barricade.
"Koujaku, Noiz, calm down…! It's still early, you'll wake other people up…!"
The boy with the white hair looked really upset, head flipping between the warring factions as he stood between them, poised for the inevitable fist fight that was brewing like an oncoming storm. Koujaku just let out a loud "tch" and took a step back, turning his gaze back at Aoba once again.
"He's right, you know." The oldest between them, broke his silence suddenly. Aoba cowered and tilted his head lower in awkwardness and shame as Mink's shadow loomed over his body (which is, really very small and thin compared to Mink's intimidating one, Aoba noted with a gulp). "It's still early, so we need to finish this quickly before everybody else wakes up."
As if it was a cue, all of their gazes turned to him now—staring intently in accusing glares mixed with worry and suspicion. The atmosphere was thick and heavy, stirred by the piercing array of eyes pinned on a single man.
Aoba usually felt really comfortable in Koujaku's room. They were childhood friends and he had played a lot in this room often. Koujaku's room had been his second home, and he thought it would never change.
…until he was caught by 4 of his friends and being interrogated like some kind of criminal here, anyway.
Aoba let out a tired sigh, and he stared at the men in front of him, who were surrounding him like he was a cornered animal.
"Aoba…" Koujaku started again with a lower voice, and Aoba could still feel the suppressed anger and pain beneath his voice. It pained him more than anything to hear that hint of sadness in his childhood friend's voice.
"Why… what were you doing in the forest?"
"…"
Here it comes.
"Aoba…" Clear was frowning, a striking contrast with his usual cheery epression. It felt bitter looking at him and Aoba turned his gaze from the white haired boy. "We are really worried. The forest is dark and dangerous at night and the village forbade us to go there when the night comes, and—"
"I know, I know that…" Aoba quickly cut in—he had to make a way out of this interrogation somehow.
Aoba bit his lips tightly. If he could, he really wanted to avoid talking about Ren. Sooner or later, he needed to tell everyone that the urban legend they were so scared of was only bullshit the old villagers had invented. He needed to tell everyone about Ren's true presence. But he wasn't ready to say it yet. Koujaku, Noiz, Mink and Clear were definitely not bad guys, and he had a feeling that somehow he could trust them, but he doubted they would believe him that easily. Not when Aoba himself wasn't prepared himself to tell them. Worse, they could even think that the urban legend's beast was real and misjudge Ren without any further ado. He needed more time to plan things… to make them trust Ren.
Ren…
In a split second, he imagined all of the villagers confronting Ren, and he threw it back as quick as it came, not being able to bear thinking how much betrayal and suffering Ren would face all alone.
…no. He couldn't tell them now. Definitely not this soon.
His mind urged him to say something and in the middle of his panic, his mouth uttered the first thing he could come up with.
"I went for the herbs."
There was a momentary uncomfortable silence in the room, before Koujaku's voice sliced through.
"…herbs?" The man with raven hair echoed, murmuring in a really low, confused tone, as if not understanding what it meant.
"Yeah," Aoba fidgeted a bit, and he could feel Mink's heavy gaze on him. He technically didn't lie, since he did go to the forest to search for the herbs the first time he came to the forest, and Mink definitely knew about it, since he told him already. They didn't specify which time he went to forest that he had to explain anyway. "Grandma fell over yesterday, and they didn't have the herbs, so I searched for them."
Just like he thought, except Mink, everyone's expressions changed. Even Noiz looked a bit more perturbed than his usual calm demeanor.
"Wait, Mrs. Tae fell over?!"Clear's voice seemed to be a lot grimmer than his usual voice, his expression was a mix of shock and concern. Koujaku approached Aoba almost quickly, his angry features were replaced by pure uneasiness and worry.
"Is she okay…?"
He seemed relieved when Aoba nodded slowly. "I… I brought her to the medical hut. She's still staying there, probably for few days more."
"What happened?" Noiz demanded, lime orbs seemingly narrowed in an expression Aoba couldn't quite guess what it was. "How's her condition?"
"She fell over because she was too tired. She was in a critical condition, but the doctor said she's fine now." Aoba bit his lips and shut his eyes tightly, trying not remember the scene of that night—how weak she looked, how dangerously hot her skin was, how scared he was as he ran for his life for her sake, and how much he fell into despair as the doctor told him about her condition...
"So, you're saying that you went to forest to search for Mrs. Tae's herbs?" Clear asked again hesitantly, and Aoba bit his lips when Koujaku turned his face at him again. "But that doesn't make any sense… they should have their own experienced medical team that specialize in collecting herbs. Why must it be Aoba who collects the herbs?"
…Goddamn it.
Shit, shit, shit. Aoba could feel a cold sweat seep through his cheek as Koujaku and Noiz gave him pointed looks, waiting for answers. He needed to say something fast, or they would realize he had not been entirely truthful.
He felt his heart stop when Mink's voice filled in for him instead.
"He is a dumbass, that's why."
"Oi, you…"
Aoba gave Mink a little glare, which the older one didn't give any concern to—instead continuing what he had left on as Koujaku, Noiz and Clear's attentions shifted to him. "Think about it. The medical hut should have their own supply of medicines and their own team to collect the herbs. Why would this guy go to the forest if that's the case?"
This guy...!?
"That's… I told you that they ran out of herbs!" Aoba yelled to Mink, panic was starting to settle in his heart. Mink ignored him still, gaze locked on the other three.
"You remember the storm that happened two nights ago?"
If there was anything Aoba wanted to say, they were all gone in blink, replaced by the feeling of dread and uneasiness at the tone of Mink's words.
Koujaku's eyes narrowed at that. "Yeah… but what does that have anything to do with…"
He stopped mid-sentence, eyes widening in horror as realization dawned on him.
"No, don't tell me…"
Aoba didn't have to even look at his face to know how enraged Koujaku was. He peeked at Noiz and Clear's faces and quickly threw his gaze from them when he noticed the similar unhappy expressions.
"The storm two nights ago was really bad, so if the medical team ran out of herbs, they wouldn't be able to search for them in that kind of storm. Besides, we are not allowed to go to the forest at night…" Clear's voice got smaller and smaller, as his eyebrows furrowed and his expression wasn't angry but definitely unhappy. "Then, Aoba, you…"
By that explanation, it wasn't hard to put two and two together, and Aoba could felt the atmosphere of the room starting to get even heavier than before.
"… are you really an idiot?" Noiz asked with a really impatient and low, almost breathless tone. While Noiz was still very much composed, it still surprised Aoba a bit to see Noiz looking a bit bewildered. Then again, Noiz looked pretty much tame compared to Koujaku who was on the verge of bloodshed if he kept biting his lips.
"Aoba you—" Koujaku had to form his sentences several times, as if trying to settle his own feelings. "You went to the forest, despite knowing it's dangerous, to search for herbs at night? In the middle of the storm?"
Aoba opened his mouth to say something in retort, feeling exasperated at the obvious bitterness in Koujaku's words, but he couldn't say anything at all. He couldn't say anything at all as he stared at those gaze, looking at him with such sad and worried eyes that he could feel a prick of pain in his chest.
He couldn't make any excuse. Koujaku—no, all of them at least deserved his honesty at least in this.
"…yes." Aoba let out a small murmur of defeat. Their soft intake of breaths to his answer was sharper than he thought.
Before he could let their outburst of anger fill the room though, Aoba spoke, hands in air as a gesture of surrender.
"Look… I know that was really, really dumb of me." Aoba slowly murmured – "Dumb doesn't even cover it," Noiz mumbled and Aoba glared at him for a split second before trying to ignore him –, flinching as four pair of eyes narrowed at him faster than he thought possible. "I didn't think that through. I knew it was dangerous and foolish to do, but I was worried about Grandma."
"They said, they ran out of the herbs. That they couldn't fetch them up until the storm is over." Aoba bit his lips. The image of his grandmother—who had been taking care of him, yelling at him when he was being foolish, and taking care of him, giving him love and affection just like her own real grandson despite having no relation with him—fell to the ground right in front of him replayed in the back of his head, and he gritted his teeth. "It was foolish, but just standing there, not being able to do anything while knowing Grandma is sick frustrates me. I can't stand it."
"Aoba…"
When he heard Koujaku's gentle voice he suddenly felt embarrassed and pathetic for telling them all of this, so he dropped his head, hiding from his friend' gazes. Showing his weakness in front of his friends like this… it definitely was humiliating.
He had always tried his best not to depend on anyone, so he didn't want to look so weak and crack here. But it was really hard to do so, when the image of his parents leaving him with Tae kept replaying inside of his mind. It was hard when he remembered he cried himself out at the loss of his parents' warmth. It was hard when he remembered how his Grandma fell right in front of his eyes, and he knew that she could leave him anytime, just like how his parents left him all alone.
He couldn't… He didn't want to be left alone for the second time.
I can't stand it.
"I am sorry." Aoba sighed, shoulders slumped down tiredly against the wall behind him. "It was stupid of me not to think about myself a bit more… about Grandma's feelings, about you guys as well."
"Aoba…" Clear muttered softly, eyes visibly softening. Aoba gave him a weak smile.
It felt like the tension disappeared from the room right after that. He could see that Mink and Noiz were still wearing those sour expressions, but they definitely didn't feel like they were still going to hunt Aoba with their looks. Aoba could almost hear Koujaku's breath, as if he had been holding it the entire time. His eyes were still frowning, but at the same time he looked relieved. The raven haired man then pulled Aoba into a short hug, much to the latter's surprise.
"Koujaku… that' embarrassing."
"Idiot," He laughed, before releasing Aoba. Koujaku smiled then, and Aoba could feel himself blush a bit, feeling Koujaku's concern and care for him.
I really had him worried, huh…
Aoba caught Noiz's gaze on him then. The blond quickly averted his eyes, eyes furrowed in unhappy, flustered expression.
"Well, that's good if you understand." He quickly muttered, and it took Aoba a bit longer than usual about why Noiz wearing an uncomfortable expression on his face, before grinning at that. So he could wear that kind of expression too.
"Were you worried, Noiz?" He purposefully teased, enjoying Noiz's sudden jerk at his tone. What, for such a foul mouthed brat, he was kind of cute.
"Tch, who—"
"Noiz should be more honest with himself!" Clear chirped in happily, ignoring Noiz's death glare on the white haired man, much to Aoba's amusement. "Aoba, Noiz was actually the first person who realized you disapp—UMPH!"
Noiz's hand clamped Clear's mouth before he finished his sentence, lime orbs glaring into the scared pink ones angrily. "You too, shut up."
"You two… knock it off…" Koujaku sighed tiredly and crossed his arms. It was as if he was looking at two little children fighting. "You were the one who said that we're too loud a moment ago."
"Said the old man who wanted to bolt to the forest ten past three in the morning without thinking when his childhood friend's gone."
"…! You brat…!"
It was not long before the atmosphere in Koujaku's room changed into a comical one. At the scene of his friends fighting like little brats, Aoba couldn't help but to let out a small laugh. It was idiotic, really, to think how just a moment ago they were ganging up on him with serious expression and yet now they are yelling at each other like this…
He didn't realize Mink was approaching him until the man was already beside him.
"Whoa! Mink, you surprised me."
"Do you understand now?"
"Eh…" Aoba blinked at the older man's words, not really understanding what it meant. Mink's golden eyes stared at him for a moment, before he turned his gaze, prompting Aoba to follow. It wasn't until Aoba stared at Koujaku, Noiz, and Clear who were still childishly fighting with each other, did Aoba realize why Mink said those words. His hazel eyes softening, a smile rose up against his knowing.
"Do you understand now, your life is not for your own only?"
Mink probably didn't need his answer. Still, he answered—as if to clarify it for himself, as if to remind himself—to treasure this moment and never forget it again. To care about his life more, and to think about the people who care for his life more.
"Aah. Mink."
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
He was almost sure Mink don't smile like, ever, but he thought for a split second he saw his lips tugged upwards.
He should have prepared himself.
"WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE, YOU IDIOOOOT!"
"It hurts, it huurtss! I am sorry Grandma, I really do—stop pulling my ear!"
He really—really should have known. Aoba has lived with her for around… 13 years? 14 years? He had experienced her wrath so many times throughout his childhood. He EVEN remembered some mornings where some of their neighbors patted his shoulder with something akin to pity or sympathy on their faces, totally overheard their small arguments (or mostly, Tae's yellings and Aoba's agony) at some nights.
When someone told him Tae has woken up, he quickly rushed to the medical hut, mix of relief and worry washed over his entire body. He was so overwhelmed with happiness that despite how tired he was (he didn't even get any sleep after coming back from the forest and getting interrogated by Koujaku and the others) he forced his legs to run, not even knocking the room where Tae was and barged inside, totally had forgotten despite her age, how strong she could be if she wanted to. Tae was back at him, and that was all mattered for him.
The first thing he received when he sees her was not a hug nor caring words, but a strong hit to his head and a loud yell that made his ears throbbing.
"This… THIS IDIOT GRANDSON OF MINE…!"
For a moment, Aoba found himself dumbfounded. The house had been quiet ever since Tae was hospitalized and he really didn't expect this kind of welcome, so it was quite a surprise even when he thought this kind of reaction was normal – for Tae.
But still…
"You idiot…! Why did you do that, hah?!"
"Ouch ouch! That hurts! That really hurts! What was that for?!"
His whining went unheard and Tae glared daggers at him. From the side of the bed, Aoba could see the doctor, standing awkwardly at the scene with a weak attempt to stop his grandmother from beating him up. The small table next to the bed had some of the herbs he had brought the other day. The doctor then gave him an apologetic, embarrassed smile, and he realized it then why Tae was going on a rampant.
Of course. The doctor must have told her about what he did the other night.
Aoba didn't blame him. He was sure if the poor man really told Tae about his little adventure on the stormy night endangering his own life for the sake of saving her, he would portray Aoba like some kind of hero who loved his grandmother so much he would risk his own safety going to the forest. Still Aoba lived with his grandmother long enough to know those kind of things would not sit well with her at all. The only thing he was sure of was that Tae grasped from the doctor was probably that Aoba was dumb enough to go to a forest—which was dangerous at night—at the stormy night—which made it even more dangerous than it already was—without anyone or any kind of protection—which was pretty sure making all of this a suicide mission, if it weren't for the fact that Aoba came back here in one piece, safely.
And to be honest, Aoba was really tired of getting lectured about the same thing, over and over again. First the doctor and the nurse, then Ren, then Mink, then Koujaku, Noiz, Clear… and now Tae too…
"Grandma, I told you, I am sorry—ngh!"
"Did you want to die that badly?!" She started choking him now, and he worried if she really was trying to kill him with her own hands—she didn't even budge when the doctor tried to calm her down. "Did you want to die that badly that you stormed into the forest on a stormy night, without any protection or any light source?!"
It was useless trying to talk to her when she was like this, so Aoba tried with all his might to make the most pitiful puppy eyes he could to make her stop hitting him, because it really started to hurt like a bitch. Amazingly and ridiculously to his own surprise, it actually worked. She scoffed and stopped, her clear blue eyes still glaring at his hazel ones. Aoba let out a small sigh and avoided her gaze, guilt and shame filling his system.
"I… I really am sorry. I was really reckless."
"Are you, really?"
"I was worried you know," Aoba brought his gaze to face his grandma this time. "You just suddenly fell over… I couldn't think straight. I am scared that you will…"
…that you will leave me too.
The rest was left unspoken and Aoba once again turned his gaze, ashamed.
Tae's eyes visibly softened at that. The hard lines from her features disappeared before she beckoned Aoba to come closer. The boy with azure locks looked unsure, expecting more hitting, but Tae just pulled him into an embrace.
She was warm, and her scent reminded Aoba of what home supposed to feel like. She had been gone for days that even their home just doesn't feel right without her. She looked fragile and weak and yet she was so strong and she was here, in his arms, hugging him with her own arms. For a moment, it felt like home and sweets and all those sentimental things that Aoba felt his eyes wet against his own judgment.
"Don't do that again. Don't make this old woman worried sick more than she already is."
"Grandma—"
"Don't do that again." Tae pressed, eyes glaring at his face. Aoba wasn't sure about how he replied that. He didn't exactly think he can promise that, since he was an idiot that would run without thinking of the consequences if Tae ever fall again in front of him. But still, he managed a smile. Had been lectured by too many people, he understood already how precious his existence was for some people, and how he should take care an think of himself more. Not for his own, but for those who cared for him.
"Yeah."
Tae's expression showed that she didn't believe him, but that was okay too. She didn't say anything and nor did Aoba. For the time being, he was glad that Tae's back with him, and she wouldn't be going anywhere soon. She wouldn't leave Aoba alone.
For Aoba, that was all mattered for now.
When he got out of the room, the doctor gave Aoba a knowingly sly smirk.
"I can't blame her for her outburst at all," he said, adjusting his glasses. Aoba groaned. Were they going to nag him about this forever?
"Yes, yes. I was reckless and stupid and I didn't think through. I am sorry to make you all worried." The words already sounded like a memorized mantra because he had repeated this to many people already. The doctor laughed at his response and Aoba smiled a bit.
"She can go home in few days."
That got Aoba's attention quickly. He turned his face back at the doctor, surprise all over his features. "She can?"
"Yeah. You did bring us the herbs we needed. More than enough even. Her recovery speed also surprised us."
Aoba felt some sense of pride and relief swell inside him. His stupid and so called reckless adventure two nights ago was not so fruitless after all. The doctor coughed, and Aoba noticed his gaze turned serious.
"Actually… where did you find those herbs?" He muttered in a small whisper, as if he was talking about a really important secret.
Aoba raised one of his eyebrow. "Pardon?"
"These herbs, you see… they are not actually easy to find." The doctor scratched the back of his neck, seemingly a bit embarrassed. "They are very healthy, but not many of these herbs grow in the forest. We usually only found bud and roots, but you managed to bring us the entire plant and even the flower—"
"Wait, wait…" This information was too much for Aoba's tired head. He felt a headache coming and rubbed the bridge of his nose, confused and mostly, surprised. "Are you saying that the reason why Grandma recovered so quickly is because of the herbs I found?"
The doctor looked hesitant, then nodded slowly. Aoba's jaw dropped. He thought the plants he brought were the usual herbs they found and used.
"…and you all called me an idiot to try finding these herbs," Aoba crossed his arms, grinning a little bit. He didn't mean to sound so cocky, but damn, it did feel good to know you overthrown someone's expectation after having repeatedly being called a reckless and dumb.
The doctor groaned this time, and Aoba stifled his chuckle. "That was irrelevant. What you did could have cost your life and very careless. It was a miracle that you got back here safely with the herbs."
"Hey!" Give me some credit here!
"Either way, I am sure you didn't found these herbs near the perimeter, because we would have collected them all if we find them there. Where did you find them?"
That was funny, because Aoba was sure when he found them, there were plenty of them. When he was about to open his mouth though, he stopped. He had actually found those herbs inside the perimeter, which was pretty much forbidden by the village and dangerous. Not to mention, Ren and the wolves lived there… it could be dangerous for both the medical team and for Ren and his pack.
Ren had told him that the wolves didn't like humans and would usually attack them, so he probably should not tell them about this. Not to mention he was sure if he told them he had barged inside the perimeter despite the rules, he would face nastier consequences from the village (and more lectures, especially more lectures) he was sure he did not want to know. Old District Village had always been quite strict and had strong belief in the urban legend, so he better play it safe too.
"I am sorry, it was really dark and the rain made it hard to see where I was. Actually I was a bit lost back then. It was just luck that I found those herbs, honestly," Aoba gave the doctor an apologetic smile, hoping he would not notice his lie. The doctor unsurprisingly dropped his shoulders, looking visibly disappointed. It made Aoba feel guilty and a bit confused, so out of curiosity, he dug a bit more.
"Is it really that hard to find?" Aoba asked. "I mean, if they usually grow near the perimeter, wouldn't there be more inside—"
"Sssshhh!" The doctor quickly clamped Aoba's mouth, much to the younger man's surprise. The older man looked at their surroundings, sighing in relief to know no one caught what they had been talking about. "You should not say that recklessly! Do you want to be punished or something?"
Aoba stared at the panicked doctor, eyebrows raised and amused. He forgot how narrow minded people who lived here are. This topic may not a big issue for Aoba, but for those who thought of the forest as a sacred cage for a beast, this kind of conversation could bring both of them problems if anyone heard it.
"I am sorry, I will be more careful," He muttered slowly against the older man's hand. The doctor removed his hand almost quickly, looking a bit embarrassed. He cleared his throat and straightened up his clothes.
"Well… to answer your question… we do… try."
Aoba did a double take on that. "Come again?'
"Keep this a secret okay?" The doctor hissed in a really low whisper, almost in a comical way that made him actually look even more suspicious, much to Aoba's amusement. "We know that there might be more of these herbs inside of the fence, not just some roots and buds like what we usually found. But because of those stupid people that believed in that urban legend and their rules, it's hard to explore inside without any guardians to protect us."
Huh?
"Wait," Aoba completely turned his head to the doctor now, face gawking in disbelief. "So you don't actually believe in the urban legend too? Then why did you warn me about it two nights ago?"
"Don't make that face young boy, I was just being polite. Storming into a forest while raining at nights IS dangerous, with or without the urban legend beasts. I mean, it sounds stupid, you know." The doctor just shrugged, shoulders dropping in a more relaxed position. "They were obviously just wolves, but we're adults already. Shouldn't we have something like, you know, weapon and protection by the guards while the medical team investigate the forest, instead of closing them down like this? I mean for all we know, there might be much more plants and herbs that we don't know about yet inside."
In a way or another, Aoba could understand what he is talking about. From the perspective of a doctor who would only believe things that could be explained scientifically, he was not entirely wrong. From their eyes, the forest were a really good place to explore for more knowledge, more herbs and things that they could gain to improve their medic field.
If Aoba had not met Ren, he probably would have agreed with him.
"Then have you guys actually tried to search inside the forest without permission?" Aoba whispered. The doctor gave what looked like a painful smile and shook his head.
"Actually… we have a permission."
Aoba blinked. Once, then twice.
Huh?
"WHAT?!" Aoba almost screamed out loud had it not been for the quick move of the doctor's hand covering his mouth again, eyes glaring at his hazel orbs. Only after his nodding at the silent message did the doctor release him.
"Wait, so you have permission to explore the forest?!" He almost burst at the new information that was invading his mind. He had almost died twice and had to go to the forest secretly just to meet Ren, and apparently it was possible to ask for permission to go?!
"B-but wouldn't that make a ruckus in the village? I mean the people believed in the urban legend…" His voice trailed off out of shock. He has lived in this village for more than ten years, and he was sure he had never once heard of any kind of rumor regarding this. For all he knew, almost every single person he encountered in the village were either too scared to go to the forest due to the urban legend, or just didn't care at all. This was too sudden for his head to really comprehend.
The older man just laughed.
"Of course it would. That's why they told us to keep it a secret." The doctor gave Aoba the look that was like saying 'you silly boy'. "The urban legend was already a part of this village for so many years, so even if the head villager wants to make the forest open for free, there would definitely be an outrage from the villagers. If we want to do research on the forest, we have to keep it a secret and do it on our own."
But Aoba was pretty sure he was the first person who barged into the forest at least since Ren was caged here. Was he wrong? But Ren said he was the first person who came inside the perimeter.
"Then why…? If you have the permission, why wouldn't you explore the forest?"
Aoba felt himself tremble in something akin rage. If they… if they had found Ren, maybe Ren wouldn't have to suffer all alone for so long. No, there was also still a chance that they would take Ren and inspect his body... Ren didn't look like any normal human after all. If they saw that there was something that was not quite a wolf and was not quite a human there… they would probably take him back and do some experiments on him, wouldn't they? Yeah, that was just how far this urban legend was affecting the village.
For this village, he was only a beast after all. Nothing less and nothing more.
"Well, we wanted to, but unfortunately… none in our team want to investigate an unexplored forest without any protection." He sighed and combed his hair with his fingers, before continuing. "You heard it right? Wolves' howls at nights? We are working in medical field here, none of us have any combat experience to defend ourselves if anything happens so we don't want to take any risk."
A sudden thought occurred to Aoba like a struck by lightning. The man with azure locks stopped his walking, pupils dilated and hazel orbs wide open.
Wait.
"Could it be that… you think I found those herbs inside the perimeter?"
The doctor's eyes looked surprised and he turned his gaze to Aoba, but then shrugged it off as if it was impossible. "What? Did you really? But the forest was caged, right? Even if you found the herbs inside the forest, how could you get inside?"
So they still didn't know that some part of the old fence could be broken because it was already rusty and old.
Because of the urban legend and the rules, no one had actually bothered enough to check the old cage anymore. Because no one dared to get close to the fence… no one had yet to notice that Aoba had broken inside the forest and met the beast of the folklore tale they'd been so scared of. Not to mention… the fact that the herbs the medics needed were inside the main forest behind the perimeter was only known by Aoba only at the moment.
Aoba had made a possibility none of the people in the village would ever consider.
The only person who held the new possibility of Ren and this village's future was Aoba.
The only person who knew about the urban legend's true nature was Aoba.
The only person who had access to the forest right now… was only Aoba.
Aoba smirked. Bingo.
He was playing a dangerous game, but if he played his cards right… this entire thing could actually fall into his favor.
"Actually doctor, if you want to… I can try to help you."
The doctor stared at him now, eyes wide behind the glasses, unblinking. Aoba smiled what he hoped a really convincing an innocent smile and tried to push him a little more.
"Since we both don't believe in the urban legend, you can cover me. I can help you with the herbs and the forest exploration. I am not actually really afraid of getting inside the forest as well—"
"Whoa whoa whoa, wait, back up, young boy." The doctor hold his hands up in the air, too surprised and seemingly too confused to follow. "Are you seriously saying you want to risk your life going inside the forest to search for herbs and observe it?"
Aoba nodded once again, firm and dead serious.
The man with the glasses seemed confused with the sudden turn of event. "W… wait, wait a second. It's true that if you have the permission, the guardians will let you go inside the inner side of the forest… but…"
"Guardians…?" Aoba's eyebrows furrowed at that.
"Yeah. I told you that if the village head gave you permission, you can go inside the forest, right?" The doctor continued. "The guardians are basically the head's underlings, so as long you told them you get the permission, they will let you in. They will also cover you so the villagers won't see you."
That would make it easier for Aoba to actually meet Ren without having to get all sneaky and secretive… if it weren't for the fact that Mink is actually one of the village guardians. After yesterday and especially today's little incident, he doubt the guardian will let him off the hook easily. He doubt even with the permission, he could just ask Mink to let him go.
So it'd probably be better if I meet Ren whenever Mink is not on duty...
"But the forest is caged. You know that already." The doctor added, eyebrow raised. "There's no way you can get in."
Aoba bit his lips, not sure if he should continue gambling or not. But he had come this far, might as well keep going. Besides, if this really worked, the excuses he gave to Koujaku and the others wouldn't be a flat out lie each time he visited Ren. Figures if he was going to lie, the less lies would make it more believable. The more lies, the more tangled things became.
"Didn't you say you have the permission?" Aoba raised his eyebrows.
"Well… but still…" The doctor scratched his head again. "No one dared to get inside that forest for so long you know? We need to do this as secretive as we can, you know. Even with the permission from the head village, that's still a problem."
"Then what about the herbs I got for you?" The man with azure locks hissed, eyes narrowing. "If they weren't from the forest, where would they come from?"
The doctor stared at Aoba, shocked and speechless, and Aoba felt some sense of victory knowing he was the one to make him to pull such expression.
"Wh… what… so they really are from the inner side of the cage?" He slowly muttered.
The image of this young man, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the storm, without any protection and light storming inside the forest and manage to get inside the cage, and all coming back safely too was too much for him. It was almost ridiculous and stupid to think about, and yet it miraculously happened.
"B… but how? It was caged… no, it was stormy and dark… wasn't there wolves as well? How did you…"
Aoba must have sensed the doctor's shock and used the chance to corner him more.
"Doctor, you just said it yourself that you wanted to know more. I know you really want to explore more about what is there inside the forest. I owe you for treating my grandmother. I can at least help you a bit with the dirty work." Aoba whispered in a gentler tone, noticing the older man's gaze back at him, suspicious, confused yet curious. "I am offering you something good here. If I were the one going inside you don't have to worry about the villagers or the punishment—I will shoulder them all. And I am not skillful in your field, but I am sure what I found inside the forest can be helpful for the medics in the future."
The doctor was hesitant. He definitely took the bait. Just a little more…
"Why are you doing this?" The older man asked with furrowed, distrusting eyes. He adjusted his glasses and turned his head to face the young man. The offer was really tempting, but still, it was too one sided for him. "Indeed what you are doing will be helping us a lot, but this is a quite dangerous plan, you know? I don't see anything you can gain from this."
He could feel the doctor's suspicion at him, but Aoba couldn't back down now. This was as close as he would get to being able to to reach Ren easier. The villagers would probably start making rumors about him, and Koujaku as well the others would be worried at him. He felt a little guilty, but at the very least, if he had that permission, he wouldn't have to face the consequences of breaking the village's law, and they would spare his grandmother from any punishment for things he did.
The doctor massaged the bridge of his nose, sighing. "Mr. Seragaki, you don't believe in the urban legend, right?"
Aoba groaned. "Doctor, with everything I have done and told you…. Really?"
"But…" The doctor's tone was low and wavering. It was clear he was unsure about the offer. By now, they had stopped walking, standing at the hallway near the front door of the medical hut just to finish the conversation. "But it doesn't make sense. With or without the urban legend, the forest is still dangerous. I am pretty sure your grandmother nor your relatives would be delighted to hear this plan."
"W, well, I don't intend to tell them at all, and I hope you won't tell anyone as well," Aoba muttered timidly. Crap, being so secretive about what he was going to do in the forbidden forest would just make him even more suspicious. "I just… I have something I need to do inside the forest. I want to…"
I want to help Ren.
"I want to find out about the true beast of the urban legend."
"The true beast of the urban legend…?"
Aoba nodded. "I don't believe that there is any beast, it's really ridiculous how long this village has believed in such a story, but… if they can believe it for years to the point of developing such a deep fear, I am sure there must be something inside there… something that made the urban legend born."
"That makes sense…" The doctor's expression softened, and he seemed to trust Aoba now. He crossed his hands, eyebrows still furrowed as if he was thinking something hard. "But still, it's dangerous to go alone to the forest like that. Is it really worth risking your life to the wolves in there for something as petty as that? It's as if you…"
He was silent for awhile. Aoba looked at him, waiting until he opened his mouth again.
"It's as if you… wanted to be eaten by the beast itself."
"…..!"
The words caught him off guard and Aoba straightened up almost immediately letting out a high pitched squeal he didn't want to believe it was coming from him. Even if the doctor surely didn't mean it in any bad way, Aoba couldn't stop the rushing blood pooling on his cheeks, making him completely scarlet. He couldn't help but to think of the accidental implication beneath the words and ashamed by his own thinking.
The doctor seemed to notice this, much to Aoba's frustration and embarrassment. "Mr. Seragaki? Are you alright?"
"E-eh? Oh yes! I am fine!" He did what he hoped a really convincing expression, which seemingly was not quite successful, judging from the older man's not-so-amused face.
"I have my reasons and conditions as well," Aoba mumbled lowly, embarrassed. He made sure the hall was clear and no one was there to hear them before smiling. "You just need to cover me as much as you can. Don't tell anyone. Write me a letter of permission for herbs research to go inside the forest. I will take the rest from there."
They fell silent. For a moment, the only thing they could hear were the footsteps of people walking and chattering surrounding them. Aoba could feel his heart thumping so hard beneath the calm surface he was trying to show.
Please. Please accept it.
After what it seemed like hours of nervousness, panic and rapid heartbeats, the doctor groaned and put his hands up.
"Fine, you win. It's not my business and it's very favorable for me anyway. I don't see why I should reject this offer."
Aoba could feel his heart almost burst in relief and happiness, as if all the tenseness from before was all gone and washed away from the doctor's answer. He tried to stay calm and serious, but his tone probably gave away how happy he was as he shook the doctor's hand none too gently, not being able to stop the growing smile in his face.
"Thank you very much! I really mean it!"
The doctor chuckled a little at his enthusiastic reaction, probably finding the act by a 23 year old guy too childish, but Aoba was too far gone to care about that.
His situation was not much different than before, of course—he still needed to go to forest without anyone knowing. He still couldn't let Koujaku and the others worry. He still could not let his grandma worry.
But at least this was the first step. At least with this permission, even if he got caught, there was no need to be afraid. He was no longer breaking any rules, and even if people started talking about him, he would not stop meeting Ren. He would still try to help him to go back to the world he belonged to. It was slow, but bit by bit, he would get Ren back, accepted by everyone.
Aoba smiled to himself. He could not stop the excitement that was growing, thumping inside his heart. He wondered how Ren would feel, as the innocent man slowly take a step towards that world—the world enveloped by warmth and affection he desired for so long, and when he thought of how Ren would be so happy, he could not help but to feel something akin to pain. It was not a bad kind of pain—it was pain that made his skin giddy and born from something akin happiness. It had been as long time since the last time he wanted to do something—not only for Ren's sake, but for his own self desire.
For a moment, he wondered if this feeling he had for Ren really was just a mere kindness.
He thanked the doctor once again after the doctor escorted him to the exit of the medical hut, eyes brimming in happiness. The doctor just smiled the entire time and told Aoba he should have some rest, noticing the black bags under Aoba's eyes, much to the blue haired man's embarrassment. After sending the younger man off, the doctor adjusted his glasses and found himself staring into the distance.
"Takahashi?"
The man turned his head back and saw another doctor came closer to him. "Was that man… Seragaki Aoba?"
Takahashi nodded and smiled.
"So he really has found him… It really is going just as what Master Toue planned."
The smell of wet grass and wood invaded his nostrils, the sound of chirping birds as well the cold air that prickled his skin. It was not a bad feeling, but it was a bit strange since until recently, he had never really went inside the forest. The atmosphere felt really calm and lonely, contrasting the dangerous image it have in the eyes of the villagers.
Aoba took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting the cold wind brushed against his face.
So this is the forest where Ren grows up…
"You did that?"
A deep voice called in from behind, breaking his reverie. Aoba turned his back and found Ren looking at him, eyes widening so wide and mouth hung a bit that his fangs were visible.
"Mhm! Well, I still need to do this research about the plants in here though, but I talked it over with the doctor in my village. At least I can meet you during the day like this!"
Ren stared at Aoba with an honestly surprised look, and the latter had to stop himself from smiling at such innocence. When Aoba told Ren that he had been given a permission to go to forest in exchange of investigating the wood's plants, the so called beast of the forest jumped on Aoba, knocking the breath out of the latter, and Aoba could almost see there was a tail wagging at Ren's back, despite his seemingly stoic expression. They were just walking around near the shed where Ren lived, after Ren insisted to accompany Aoba investigating the forest. Aoba was too embarrassed to admit it, but Ren's protective nature towards him was really adorable and it made him secretly happy.
Bringing Ren with him to investigate the plants and herbs was proving to be a good choice though. Living for so long here, Ren had almost tried eating all the plants and apparently knew some of the plants' effects—even the poisonous ones, solely doing that for the sake of survival. Aoba was amazed and at the same time frightened with Ren's body immunity to survive.
"Well, nothing much actually changed. I still need to go here without having anyone notice me, if I can," Aoba continued as he wrote down the list of plants and their appearance the doctor had asked of him. "But at least it's easier to meet you at days. Oh, do you know anything about this plant?"
"That's just merely wild grass. They taste awful."
Aoba laughed at that and ruffled Ren's hair before writing it down. "You can't just eat everything you see here you know. I am worried you will eat something poisonous or something. That reminds me, we should clean your house after this. There's no way I can let you live in a house in such state!"
Aoba didn't realize Ren had stopped following him until he no longer see the pale man besides him. He turned his head, looking over his shoulder, and found Ren staring at him—tender amber looking straight with furrowed eyebrows that made his skin tingled.
"Ren?"
"Aoba, you… you did so much for me," Ren spoke suddenly, his voice was deep and yet gentler than his usual tone. "You have no obligation to help me and stay with me… and yet you keep coming for me. You stay with me and you give me things from the place where you live."
Ren seemed to struggle with his sentences. Aoba stared at him, patiently waiting for the taller man to continue.
"I, If it's really too much for you, or you feel that you have to do this out of obligation. For you to secretly come here and making your relatives worry. I…"
His words hitched and he turned his gaze away. His expression seemed so sad and painful.
"I really don't want to make such burden to you… if that's the case… I think you should not come here anymore."
Aoba moved without thinking what he was doing. With 3 strides he reached Ren, tugging the taller man's face to look at his own. He felt something hot inside his chest, sadness and something painful, scratching and nudging from within.
"Don't say that, ever again." His tone might be harsher than he thought, judging from Ren's surprised expression, but he kept Ren's gaze to his angry orbs, determined to make Ren listen to every word he said. "You are not a burden. You're never a burden. I do this because I want to! I don't feel burdened, and I want to see you happy! Because for me, you are—"
Aoba stopped his words when he realized what he was saying, and suddenly, he was lost of what he wanted to say. Ren was staring at him with confused amber eyes, and Aoba could feel the embarrassment eating his mind.
What was he… what did he want to say?
The words just came out from his lips before he could stop it, and when he did stop, he could not think of anything that was quite right to finish his sentence.
"Aoba…" Ren's voice was turning him back to reality, and he felt his legs weak. Embarrassed, he released Ren's face and turned away.
What was Ren for him?
Aoba cared for him, he was sure of that. He only met him 2 days ago, but he could not help but to worry and care for Ren who had been lonely and suffering for so long. He started wanting to know more about Ren, and after what Ren had experienced, he wanted to give him the life he deserved, but—
Aoba let out a small yelp when he felt furry hands touching his face and brought him back to see the tender amber eyes, not letting Aoba to look at anything else but his serious expression.
Suddenly, Aoba could not hear anything but his own thumping heart. Suddenly, he felt hot all over skin as Ren's face came closer to his.
"You still have not finished your words."
"H-huh?"
Ren placed his forehead on Aoba's, the affectionate gesture Aoba had taught to him a few hours ago. The gesture was gentle, but his expression was determined and hopeful.
"Aoba… what am I to you?"
If it was possible to die out of embarrassment, Aoba might have died this instant and this moment. However, Ren was still here, waiting for his answer with a really straight and honest expression, and the furry hands on his cheeks felt too warm, to real for this to be just a mere dream. He sighed and with what he hoped a really confident answer, he looked straight back at Ren.
"You are important to me, Ren."
"…"
"It's true that… we only met two days ago." Aoba added again, tone stern. "It's true that we don't know each other that well, probably… but Ren, no one deserved to be caged like this. You don't deserve a life like that."
Ren had barely time to be surprised when Aoba cut him off. "If I can, I want to show you what kind of life you could have. If… if there is anything I can do to help you to get a better life, I will do it. What is right, what is wrong, it's hard to tell just by thinking it over and over. If I really let you alone because it's what the village think is right, it doesn't sit well with me. I just think no matter what that's not the right thing to sacrifice you, not is giving you a chance. That's why Ren…"
Aoba smiled a bit, and touched the fur on Ren's cheek. "Ren, you should love yourself more. Accept yourself more, and do your best to live as well."
Ren let out a small growl, before he slipped his furry arm into Aoba's back, pulling him into a gentle hug. Aoba was starting to get used with this clingy behavior, knowing exactly how for Ren—who had lacked warmth and touch of other humans for years—hugging was a way to remind him that he was no longer alone—that he was able to talk with someone and to share body heat as well affection with someone. Still, Aoba couldn't help but to feel like his heart was going to jump out of his body each time Ren did this suddenly.
He wondered, how did Ren feel about him?
Did he think of him as some kind of savior? Did he think of him as a family? As a precious friend? Or something different altogether?
Did Ren's heart thump as much as his did?
"Aoba."
"Mhm?"
"Thank you."
Ren snugged his head on Aoba's shoulder more, searching for any kind of warmth he could feel. It tickled, and Aoba chuckled at the sensation.
"What's with you all of sudden? It's embarrassing."
"I am sorry, but I need to say it." Ren released his embrace and stared at Aoba's face. "You did so much for me, and you made me remember things I have forgotten. For the first time since I lived in the forest… I can say it to myself that I really am happy."
"You really…"
Aoba ruffled Ren's hair again, grinning when he saw Ren seemed to be flustered. Ren seemed to be a really stoic and cool person, but he was actually really adorable and easily bewildered by small things. He still couldn't rid the image of a small dog on Ren, despite his muscular and tall body due to his tame and calm behavior.
This was just a start.
Slowly, bit by bit… he will let Ren came back to where he belonged.
And slowly, he wanted to know more about the 'person' behind this beast of urban legend.
"Ren?"
"Yeah?"
"The pleasure is mine."
Chapter 4: Poisonous rose. END.
I am so sorry for the late update. I hope the length of this fic makes it up :')
The fic is proof read by ruffruff-ren. Thank you so much for your hard work, dear!
Things will get serious next chapter!