CHAPTER ELEVEN

I can't even begin to tell you how much time I spent in my shower the next day. I wanted to be good and clean if I had to go showerless for the next twenty-four hours. Edward had made a point to tell me to go a couple of days with only one good meal in my stomach to see how it was to really be hungry so I figured since I only had a grilled cheese sandwich the night before then it should be satisfactory to start my little fasting diet now and not eat a balance breakfast.

My wardrobe was going to be a problem. Once again I really didn't have any kind of clothes that would be wearable for where I was planning to go. I didn't have any choice but to ruin an outfit for this experiment. The only problem is I once heard that certain gangs shot people when they were wearing certain colors. I had no idea whose prized turf included skid row. Maybe I should wear white and I could be like a really big white surrendering flag. I'm not on anybody's side over here. Don't mind me as I collect change from good Samaritans. Plus white had the tendency to get dirtier faster so then I should just blend right in. Genius!

I pulled my white jeans out and the only thing that could pass as a basic white shirt. I didn't know what my forecast was going to give me overnight so I was going to need to find a nice sweater to go along as well. I thought that maybe I looked too clean and I should roll around in the dirt outside first but just the idea of that made me itch and I didn't want to get bugs in my hair…at least not yet. I shudder at the thought but this is what I signed up for. I continued on and picked out my cute pink pumas that I had bought when I thought that jogging was a good idea and skipped down the stairs.

I was completely surprised when I found Edward in my kitchen still the next morning.

"Uh…wow you didn't just up and poof. Look at that, a man who actually hangs around the morning after."

"You're not planning on going to Horizons dressed like that are you?" He looked me over cringing.

"I'm not working at Horizons today. Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays…if I feel like it." I reminded him. "But I need a favor. As you know since I am conducting an experiment for the next twenty-four hours, I need someone who…is a friend to hold onto my personal effects. Feel free to stay here tonight and let me back into the house tomorrow morning when I arrive."

He stood there staring at me. "You're going to…."be homeless" looking like that?"

I looked down at myself, "I didn't know if there were gang issues where I'm going so I figured white was a safe color. Unless you happen to know what gangs patrol east of Main Street?"

"East of Main?" he stated, "Bella. You're not going anywhere near east of Main. You're not going anywhere East of the 101 freeway…ever. So stop being ridiculous."

We both stood there staring at one another, neither of us backing down. He spends a couple of nights in my house and suddenly feels that he can tell me what to do, I don't think so!

"Stay here or not…I don't care." I turned to walk out my front door, "I'll see you later."

"Bella! Do not walk out that door. Dammit Bella! I will call your father. I promise you, I will march right into his office and tell him all about your ignorance and stubbornness." He threatened.

I turned back around and laughed, "Call my father? You're going to go and see my father? HA! That's actually funny. You know what… call my father. Go and see him. Maybe you'll have better luck getting a hold of him because that's something that I haven't been able to do."

I scoffed and shook my head turning back to the door.

"Please don't go, Bella. This isn't some game. You have no idea what you think you're getting yourself into."

I paused hearing his voice change from anger to such a softness I couldn't describe.

"I know you're in pain but going out there isn't going to prove anything. It's not going to help. It's a suicide mission and I don't want you being so reckless out of anger."

"You think I'm doing this because I'm angry?" I asked softly.

"I think you're doing this to prove a point and yes you are angry. You have every right to be angry but as your friend, I'm not going to let you do something stupid out of anger towards your father. Why are you really doing this, Bella? Does part of you hope that you'll get hurt…something to get your father's attention?"

"What about perspective? You told me I was too sheltered. You yelled at me for not knowing what it meant to be hungry." I turned back to him, ignoring his question. "What about that?"

"There are other ways to help gain perspective. You don't need to go to skid row dressed as a…giant Q-tip." He gave me a small smile.

"I didn't want to get shot." I explained.

"You probably wouldn't get shot but…knowing you and your mouth, they might just to shut you up."

"I thought I looked cute…and needy. It was a very hard combo to pull off plus I wanted to be gang neutral."

"I'm sure they would have appreciated you taking Switzerland's side."

"If I can't go down to skid row…then you shouldn't either. I don't know why you go in the first place, it's not like the streets are paved with quarters, you know."

Edward sighed, "I won't go down there anymore as long as you promise to do the same."

I nodded slowly and closed my front door, "Now I have nothing to do the rest of the day."

"Yes, you do." Edward started to walk back toward the kitchen, "We are going to have a full breakfast and then we are going on a field trip. You want perspective and that is exactly what I am going to help you out with today."

"We're not going to Horizons are we?" I grumbled.

"With that kind of enthusiasm, I'm sure it would be a crime to stay away." He went back to the stove, "How would you like your eggs?"

"I'm not eating. Go ahead and feel free to make yourself something."

"You need food. It's going to be a very long day and I don't want you eating our charity."

"Charity?" I asked.

"Something we are going to do today after we have both eaten a good breakfast."

"I told you, I'm not eating. You wanted me to know what it was like to be hungry so there is nothing wrong with going a day or two without a meal."

"There is an unspoken rule out there amidst the homeless community; when you have the opportunity to eat, you eat. The same applies to you, Bella. You have the opportunity to eat so eat. There is a difference between eating for necessity and over-eating or being gluttons. It's also about being thankful that you do and can eat when you're hungry. Knowing that others don't get that choice and being mindful of it, that is perspective."

I sighed and dropped off my bar stool walking over to the TV room.

"So how do you want your eggs?" Edward asked again.

I shrugged and fell into my couch.

"Maybe you should go and change, I'm not really sure this white is going to sell well where we're going. It's probably best to stick to bright cheerful colors. Pinks and purples…that kind of thing." Edward instructed.

"Pinks and purples? So apparently these gangs are sexist and want their women in pinks and purples or they'll shoot them?"

"You're not going to get shot. I won't take you to any area where that's any issue. But I know you're worried about that sort of thing so I thought you'd be happy to wear something in pink."

"Or purple apparently."I grumbled.

"Are you going to change or not? No offense to your little white ensemble but you look like you escaped from a mental institution. All you're missing is the matching straight jacket."

"The horror, you know how I love to match." I replied dryly getting off the couch. "By the way, I highly doubt they outfit patients in a mental ward with Calvin Klein."

I fumbled through my closet once more looking for something charity worthy since Edward said that was in my near future. My white jeans and shirt wasn't so bad but it wasn't something I would ever wear together again. He was right, too much white. I looked like a bad omen heading for labor day.

He wanted to see me in pink and all I had was a pink Nanette Lepore dress. But it wasn't too fancy so I'm sure it could work. I found some flats not knowing how much walking we were going to do and set off for downstairs once more.

"Ta-da" I held out my hands landing right in front of Edward.

"Wow! That's…some pink you got there." He looked down and cringed. "And some legs."

"What is that face for? I look damn good!"

"Of course you look good…Bella…but I just don't want anyone to think you're there for other reasons." He replied suggestively.

"Are you saying I look like a prostitute? You're fucking kidding me, right? This is Nanette Lepore. I think she would be very insulted if she heard you refer to her clothes worthy of a street-walker." I snapped offended.

"It's just a tad short."

"Calm down there, gramps. It's perfect, right above the knee. Didn't know you would get your ruler out, Mr. Masen." I tooched out my booty a little and pouted my lips.

"Stop that." He huffed turning back around to the food on the counter.

"Stop what, Mr. Masen? Have I been a bad girl? Would you like me to bend over and touch my toes to show you that the dress is long enough to cover my bum?" I asked innocently.

"I'm not going to talk to you if you continue to be unreasonable." He handed me a plate, "Eat your breakfast."

"Grumpy gramps." I mumbled. "We might have to get you back to the nursing home soon. Sounds like someone is in need of an enema and a nap."

"Stop making me uncomfortable, Bella or you won't like two playing this game." He threatened.

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever you say, Mr. Masen. Would you like me to stay after school for my detention?"

"Why yes I would, Miss Swan. I think you're in need of some extra tutoring. But I suggest you pay attention or I will bring out my ruler and you won't like what I do with it." He stated directly.

I instantly caved, shocked and not knowing what was going on in my head and body.

"Uh…okay…games over." I replied flustered.

"It's over when I say it's over. Why don't you come over here and sit on my lap in that extra short dress of yours."

"Edward." I warned. "Stop."

"Stop what, Miss Swan. You have until the count of three." He warned.

I sat there on the couch and crossed my arms not happy with him and his little threats.

"One." He counted.

"Two." I looked away.

"Three." He got up from his chair and I instantly shriveled into the couch. My mouth opened as I prepared to scream or scold…not really sure. Edward stopped directly in front of me and then reached out and grabbed my plate, "Now go upstairs and change."

My heart felt like it was about to pound out of my chest. He flopped back down into his chair and gave me a look.

"Did I win?" He asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him and fumed.

"Do you want me to continue?" He inquired.

I huffed getting off the couch, "Fine, I'll go and change into something red and if we get shot at, it will be all your fault because you couldn't handle these legs." I lifted my dress a little before I stormed off completely pissed.

"Bella." He called after me as I reached the edge of the couch. I turned back waiting at the very least for an apology.

"I always win by the way." He winked at me and my gut reaction was to throw the pillow on my couch as hard as I could. It hit him square in the chest and his plate of food went flying all over him and the ground.

My jaw dropped and I cringed while I watched him assess himself. Eggs, over-easy dripped down the front of his freshly laundered rags."

"That was my favorite shirt." He said slow and quietly.

"Maybe you shouldn't have pissed me off." I replied equally quite.

"You're not pissed." He looked up to me, "But you will be."

He dropped the plate and instantly charged at me. I screamed trying to run as fast as I could but I didn't even make it to my stairs. He easily threw me over his shoulder like I was no heavier than a sack of potatoes.

"PUT ME DOWN." I screamed.

"I will. That's a promise." He continued to walk towards my back door. He opened the screen with ease.

"No touching!" I reminded him, "You signed an agreement and you are wildly infringing upon my rights."

"Fine then. I'll put you down." He pulled me over his shoulder and then dropped me. I screamed the whole way down which as about two point three seconds until my screams were muffled by the cold water depths of my pool.

I practically came up swinging.

"You fucker! This is a never been worn Nanette Lepore. It cost more than you make in a day. More than you make in three days." I screamed.

Edward stood on the side laughing, "I'm sorry. It was so short I thought it was a bathing suit."

"I am going to get you back for this, asshole!" I threatened while climbing the steps to get out.

"Come on…what is it that you always tell me? Oh yeah, don't get your pink dress into a twist."

"Edward fucking Masen! You will rue the day you ever met me. RUE!" I screeched.

"Rue? Nope, I'm already there."

I smacked him as hard as I could in the chest and pushed his laughing ass away as I entered my house dripping and sloshing as I went. I was practically hypothermic by the time I reached my shower. I had every right to kick Edward's ass but unfortunately my sissy arms would do little to impact him. I pictured various blunt objects that could do the job done however.

I flopped back into my bed after my hot shower, dressed in a cami and shorts. I snuggled down under the covers upset that I ever thought waking up today was smart move. I turned on my television and sulked not even deterred by the soft knock on my door an hour later.

"Come on, don't be such a baby."

I didn't answer unwilling to be baited.

I could hear him wrestle with the door knob but I was smart enough to lock it after entering.

"You really don't want to waste this day away. I have it all planned out and I was under the impression that you wanted to roll down to the hood and gain some perspective. We were going to do good deeds and help out our karma credits. One could never have too many positive karma credits. I once read an article about humanity's ability to balance the universe by doing good works and finding positive outlets since man is inherently bad or negative. Now I'm not saying that I believe that you and I or Joe schmo is bad but the interworking's of our minds have tendencies to…"

"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed as I ripped open my door.

"Not enjoying my filibuster? Good! Now will you get dressed so that we can leave?"

I huffed and flipped around to head back to my bed. I snuggled back down under my covers. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

He groaned loudly and flopped down on my bed. I pulled my sheets up further giving him a crossed look.

"Why do you always have to be so uptight? It was just a joke. You can sure give it but you can't take it. You fucked with me so I fucked you back."

"Please do not carelessly fling around words like fuck, you and me, when you are this close to me in my virginal bed."

"Virginal?" He scoffed.

"Yes, Saint Agnes here has never been soiled with male semen swimming upstream and we want to keep it that way. So off with you." I waved my hand at him to remove himself.

"I will leave Saint Agnes with all my swimmers intact if you get dressed and come downstairs. It's getting late and I already went through a lot of work while you were up here sulking. I will go on my own but I would like you to come with me."

I folded my arms across my chest and looked away. "I see no reason to go anywhere with someone I can't trust. Seeing how you violated the contract and we are no longer friends."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I apologize for my infringement."

"Even if I accept that lame ass apology, I don't have anything to wear. You ruined my one pinky dress. I don't do purples."

"My bad. Purples probably wouldn't do well anyway. It can also be a gang color. Maybe a nice yellow would suit you."

"Pinks, yellows, what do you think the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers exploded in my closet?" I snapped.

He pushed himself off the bed and walked towards my walk in.

"You mind?" He asked for permission to enter my closet.

"Would it matter?" I huffed.

He rolled his eyes and entered my lion, witch and the wardrobe.

"Good god! Are all these clothes for you?" He yelled out to me.

"I occasionally share with the cross dresser homeless guy who sleeps on my couch." I retorted.

"How about this…shirt?" He asked holding up a gingham blue and white dress.

"That's my Halloween costume from two years ago when I went as sexy Dorothy. It's a dress and an even shorter one than the pink dress you had a coronary over."

He sighed and returned to the closet.

"This is…nice. Here, some jeans to go with it." He came out holding a baby doll orange dress and blue jeans. I jumped off the bed cringing.

"First of all, this is also a dress." I said snatching the orange dress from him. "Are you color blind? Blue jeans with this orange dress…really? "

"I think you were supposed to wear it at a shirt. God, does everything in your closet show off your G-string for maximum…sluttiness."

"Never realized you were such a fashionista expert. I have the next Anna Wintour standing in my closet giving me advice on dressing like a nun. My apologies, Miss Wintour but a habit is so last season."

"You have to have at least one decent thing in this closet that doesn't show off your boobs or your ass." Edward remarked heading back into my closet.

"Would you just get out of here. No prudes allowed in my closet. I have lots of things I could wear but seeing how we are unaware of the criminal elements choice of color down in whatever hole you plan on taking me to, we are limited."

Edward snatched a blue silk navy button up and a pair of jeans and thrust them at me. "Here. This works."

"That top doesn't go with jeans. Silk and jeans?" I shook my head at him.

"BELLA! We're not walking down a runway, just put something on that doesn't show your ass and let's go. At this point it would be a welcome relief to run into a gang. I would be happy to sacrifice myself for the good of the cause if it succeeded in getting you out of the damn house!" He barked and then stormed out of my closet.

How rude!

I snatched a pair of skinny black pants and the navy blouse he had picked out and dressed quietly and furiously. I knew I still looked too dressed up. I could forgo the jewelry and proper heels but I was not going to forgo my makeup and hair.

"Ta da." I said in a dirge like tone. "Is this to the master homeless dude's liking."

"You look…" He stood up from his chair and came closer. "very nice, Bella."

"Feel like I'm going to church." I frowned.

"Well thank god you don't go to church dressed in those…other clothes."

"You have got to lighten up, gramps." I walked over to the counter and saw a big paper bag sitting there. In the trash were the contents of a jelly jar and a peanut butter jar. "Is there some epic P.B. & J convention in town?"

"It's our charity. We are going to go and help feed some friends of mine. I want to introduce you to some people today and I would appreciate it if you were respectful and receptive. This isn't just some line you can stand in and focus on your tongs. Please try to at least look them in the eye. Don't be rude."

I sighed, "Fine."

"Thank you. Let's get going."

We walked out to my Mercedes and got in.

"I see you still haven't bought a practical car." Edward remarked.

"I talked to my brother who holds the purse strings and he won't allocate money for a "practical" car. Like I told you before, I'm at the mercy of the purse strings."

"Why don't you just trade in this car?"

"I'm sorry did you like fall out of bed last night and bump your head? Why the hell would anyone give up a Mercedes SLK to downgrade to a pinto."

"Not a pinto but you could get a nice Honda or Toyota and have money left over."

"Sounds like a pinto to me. Edward, I know you're trying your best at teaching me all of life's lessons but I'm not going for sainthood over here. Leave my Mercedes alone."

He didn't say another word about the car. He just gave me directions to the shadier side of town and helped me find a place to park.

"So what exactly are we going to be doing down here, my trusted life coach?" I asked getting out of the car.

"All I want to us to do is pass out these sandwiches that I made and maybe engage in conversation. Most of the people were going to meet are…very lonely. You have no idea what it's like to essentially be ostracized by society. Sure there is a community down here but sometimes it's just nice to have simple conversation."

He sighed and started to walk away. Suddenly I didn't want to be down here. It was one thing to go out and live on the streets for a night. I wasn't planning on talking to anyone. I just wanted to keep to myself and prove I could do it.

"Are you coming?" Edward looked back to me when he saw me still standing by the car door.

"I don't know if I can do this. I don't know the first thing to say to…" I shook my head frustrated. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"How about you not make this about you. You don't want to do this because it's going to make you uncomfortable. This isn't about you, Bella. Doing something nice for someone else…you don't make it all about you."

He was starting to lose his patience for me. I could tell that my whole outlook was grating on him. He always did this thing with his hair every time he was about to explode at me. His hands would have some sort of wrestling match with those weird brown colored locks and a small vein would emerge from his forehead. But it wasn't his turn to explode, it was mine.

"I know this isn't about me." I lashed out. "But you don't need to be so hard on me. You have no idea how much I am putting myself out of my comfort zone to be here…to do this. I would appreciate even just a smidge of understanding from you. You're supposed to be my friend but you're just a judging asshole. Ever since you came to stay with me you have been ordering me around and telling me I look slutty, I don't eat properly, my whole existence is shameful. If you're so embarrassed and so superior then go….GO! I'm not holding you hostage. I apologize for trying to do the right thing and asking you to eat whatever you like from my house, to use my couch or guest bedroom. If I am such a disgusting stupid bitch then why would lessen yourself by being around me?"

Be strong, Bella. Don't show your weakness. Hold it together. Don't cry!

But standing there staring at Edward once again was like standing there and staring into a mirror. I didn't like what I saw and maybe he had every right to come into my life and show me all the different ways I was doing it wrong. Maybe he was sent here by Saint Peter himself because my name wasn't written in some proverbial book but at the end of the day, I was still a person. I was finally looking past Edward and his state of being. I was trying to see him as more than a homeless dude but he was never going to see me as anything more than some Richie Bitch.

He sighed and dropped the brown whole foods bag to the ground.

"I'm sor…"

"Don't apologize to me." I cut him off. "You've made it very clear where you see me in this world so…go pass out your sandwiches and be with your own kind. I have a sale at Barney's to get to."

AN: I know a lot of you were looking forward to seeing Bella rough it on the streets but do you really think Edward would ever let that happen? She will get an education soon enough. THANK YOU! Thank you for reading and reviewing this story. I am having fun writing for these two and hope you are having fun reading about them. Not sure how many chapters this will be but I have a completed outline so we shall see. THANK YOU again and see you next time.