CHAPTER TWO: The Blinding Fates
Bleak and heavy atmosphere lingering on a reality all its own, a gust of icy wind cutting to the bone. Maddening ebony sights of endless expanse that left the mind to wonder in fear. An endless torrent of hateful cries tearing through the silence, screeching past and circling back. Body laid bare, arms wide open, no air capable of passing into through your lungs. Every breath only bringing an icy chill to your insides with a pain rivaling a thousand white hot needles. It was a hell stemming from nowhere and everywhere. A place that Roxas felt must have been reserved for the damned. The hellish cries in the distance, the whimpering moans of anguish coming from below. Yet despite the maddening sounds in the floating world, he could still make out the sound of his rapid heartbeat pounding in his ears.
A deep rumbling emanated from somewhere far off in the hollow world, growing in volume until it resembled a voice; gravelly and hoarse as is coughed and sputtered into existence. With each rupturing cough, wispy black tendrils rose from the abyss. two smoldering eyes peeking out of the darkness and pinning him with a glare.
"This place you found, is a dream unwound. A damaged mind come undone" Ghostly tones alternated as its voice grew in volume. "If you could bear the burden of your lies, would you find yourself to be stronger? If you could forget the shame filled regrets, would you live significantly longer?" Thin tendrils of smoke rose to touch his cheek. "If you could find the love you seek, would that satiate your hunger?"
Though the voice offered some semblance of an explanation as to where he might be, Roxas found no comfort in the tones he used, nor the feeling it gave him. Nothing made any sense. Nothing about those fiery ember optics glinting in the dark felt safe. An involuntary shiver ran through his body at the thought of what probably lay behind the darkness that hid the rest of such a being. The cold tendrils of black smoke, slimy and slithering and cold, locked around his ankles.
"Think, Roxas. What, oh what, could I possibly be talking about?" it gave a gravely chuckle, twisting itself around his body. "The life you live, the people you see. You hate everything about it, everything about them. Liars and thieves. Breakers of your heart, thieves of your soul. Wandering a world that never wanted or needed you in any way."
Something began to stir painfully in his gut. The truth behind those words was something he wasn't ready to admit to, or face. It was the one thing he wanted to avoid, to forget. Not feeling needed.. no one in the world wanting him around, or talking to him. God, it made his chest ache to think he wasn't enough anymore for anyone. He couldn't bear it, he didn't want to. He tried not to think anymore, tried so hard to let everything go like he always did. But the pain seemed to have been magnified in this place. The over-encumbering emotions causing him to hyperventilate as the memories of his failings, of his agony, flashed with perfect clarity in his mind. The emptiness around him began to feel hollower the deeper his mind sank into those unforgiving thoughts.
"Everything you ever wanted, dreamed of. It was left in the dirt. All for the sake of those you thought loved you. Yet here you are, all alone. Again. And again. And again. Just how many times am I going to see you here, Roxas, until you finally break?"
Roxas tried not to hear the rasping voice. He fought to ignore it with all his might, but it was so painful...The memory of the eyes of those he loved so, so dearly. Hayner... Pence... Olette... Mom and Dad and Sora. Every last one of them with a look of disdain, ever so slight, in their eyes just before leaving him in the dark again. He felt like a child, reaching for them, crying out for some form of love, of acceptance. Anything at all to make the frigid darkness in his heart subside. Roxas wanted a mother to hold him, a father to guide him. Friends to care. Someone to love him. The need to feel human, to belong, was so agonizingly unbearable. The intensity of it consuming his very soul. Nothing in this god forsaken world mattered more to him than the thought of being loved, than the wish to hear the words he so desperately desired from the lips of another. To matter. To truly exist... Everything in the world ceased to exist when those dreams would turn into a pair of eyes that beheld him with such love and tenderness that it made him weep with a relief strong enough to make his very bones tremble.
"Why don't you give me what's left, Roxas? Your soul can only last so long." The words echoed, but Roxas couldn't hear anymore. All there was, was sorrow. Unending, unyielding agony. Because the truth sat right in front of his face. The ugly truth. No one could possibly love someone like him. Weak. Cowardly. Lazy. Selfish. Incompetent. An absolute fuck up at life itself. No, such happy endings were for people who were worth something in real life. While he, mere pond scum compared to most, would waste away in the shadows of a run down neighborhood where he belonged.
The black tendrils wound tighter around his body, snaking up his spine and resting around his neck and face. He was beginning to lose himself again, to this emptiness he tried so hard to overcome on his own. Paltry whimpers bubbled from dry lips, seizing violently as the world blurred with the lack of oxygen. But nothing mattered anymore. Not even breathing. His heart felt so heavy, so utterly torn. How could anyone live with such agony? Through the blur, he could feel a presence loom directly over him, a cold sensation dragging itself over his eyebrows and settling on his eyelids. The shock of sensation as something sharp dug itself into both of his eyes caused him to scream in surprised terror. No registering of pain, no physical indication of the motion... only a feeling of immense pressure building in his brain. The feeling of something about to explode and release the contents of his skull over the non-existent blackened floor of this abysmal reality.
The rumbling voice let out a mournful dirge, its smoky form shuddering with its cries. The din became louder, the screeches rising to a point of madness. Roxas felt his body convulsing violently as those finger clawed mercilessly at his sockets.
"There's nothing here!" It wailed, "I cannot find it! Give it to me..." the woe in its voice suddenly made sense.
GIVE IT TO ME!
He finally understood. Self hatred.
That's what this was.
This was his own self hatred. Clawing, screeching, groaning, as it tore him apart from the inside out.
He knew he should fight back. But he couldn't find it in himself to care anymore.
OooOooo
Well fuck the world sideways with a rock hard cactus. This was shaping up to be one hell of a vacation in Axel's opinion. Taking a walk downtown after getting lost on the way to a cafe, and almost getting killed by blonde teenagers raining from the sky. Then kidnapping said angsty teen from a mental institute in downtown fuck-knows- where because god only knows why he thought it was the right thing to do. He didn't even know the little twerp midget's name. He didn't even know what came over him! What if the kid was dead? What if the authorities were looking for him? No, nevermind any of that. What the hell would his old man say if he knew there was a possibly comatose escapee in the guest bedroom? Oh, the hell that would ensue.
Fuck. Fuck this fucking shit upside-down in the ass. This was absolute fucking bullshit.
Situations like this never happened to him, and being the son of a famous douchebag father like Reno meant that he went through many strange scenarios in his life that merited enough experience to give someone like Axel a definitive edge when it came to tight spots and difficult situations. Hell, he must have been an expert on sketchy scenarios by now! But a fucking kid falling out of the sky and nearly getting him a free conference with the big buy upstairs? That wasn't something he had on his checklist of things encountered and experience gained. This was his first visit to his father's hometown in years, and in less than a few hours, he had already landed himself in deeper shit than anything he could possibly think of.
Axel paced the floor outside of the guest room anxiously, running a hand through his fiery mane and swearing under his breathe in anticipation. If this didn't go well, there was only a rough sea of trouble ahead.
"Hey, Axel? You okay, man?" The familiar voice roused him from his brooding, starling him enough to stop momentarily and fix the sandy-haired blonde with a look of gratitude as he offered up a bottle of cold water. "I came over as soon as I got the message from Zex." Sea green eyes cast an uncertain glance at the closed mahogany door. "Is he.. umm..."
Axel shook his head, drawing a hand through his hair,once more and tugging at it lightly. A shuddering sigh escaped his lips. Without warning, he reached past the outstretched hand and grabbed the half empty beer bottle Demyx nursed in his other hand, ignoring the pointed look of irritation. "Yeah... kid's alive. Pretty banged up and probably being followed by harpies in white suits, but still alive. Which is more than I could say for myself if my old man ever found out a dragged a mental patient in here." He mumbled, taking a long swig. The beer wouldn't help, but maybe the buzz would settle his nerves.
"Soooo..." Demyx began, idly rocking back and forth on his feet, "How... uh, exactly did this happen?" He floundered his free hand in front of him at the look he received from his best friend and quickly added, " I mean I already know a little bit of the story from Zexion, since he was the one you called to come pick you guys up and stuff. But, well, I mean... he told me to ask you about all the nitty-gritty details. Kept saying something about repeating it being too bothersome and all." he twisted the bottle cap nervously between his fingers, biting his lip. "So, um. Can you tell me?"
After a few beats and a little bit of consideration, Axel relented with a nod and downed what was left of the beer. He cleared his throat setting the bottle on the floor. "I dunno, Dem. I mean if you really want the whole story, I'd have to begin with the damn phone call from my old man. You know, tellin me to 'come down and visit' or 'the change of scenery would be good for you'. The usual meaningless blabbering he does. Says things to sound like a dad, but doesn't follow up with his actions." He slunk down and plopped unceremoniously on the floor, suddenly losing all of the nervous energy he had earlier. Demyx followed suit, drawing his knees up to his chest, eyes trained on the red-head. "I got tired of it after a while, so I talked to Luxord about booking us a gig here in Twilight Town, using it as a cover up for the visit. In exchange, I promised I wouldn't miss out on practice for the tour. I only agreed to see him so he would stop leaving me annoying voicemails. I mean seriously. He fucking fills the whole goddamn thing up and I'm stuck deleting them all one by one. I mean, seriously. Do you remember that ridiculous one he left me on my birthday that one time?" he grumbled. "Drunk as a fucking loon and about as intelligent as one, too."
Dem smirked with knowing amusement, setting down his water bottle and taking on a more languid and unsteady demeanor. "Axelllll, you shud lerrn to take afftur yer ol' man. Take life in the ass and- no wait, hang on... oh yah! Happy fukinnnnn... tenth birthday kiddo! Yeah! You get to... fukinnnnn... color and shit... use them fancy crayons and whatnot." The slurr and moronic tone was enough to send them both into a fit of laughter. "Like, was he even for real? Fancy crayons? I didn't even know those existed. What are they made out of? Decorated earwax from a monkey?" They had barely regained composure before he tossed another line, "...umm... what else... oh yeah! And always wear fukinnn... sunglasses. Keeps the tigers away. Never know when one may... come atcha!" He emphasis the last words with a shake of his hands, breaking into gasping hysterics. "I mean, seriously! Do sunglasses make the tigers feel inferior about their fashion sense? Does it act as a forcefield or barrier to, like, deter them from ripping you a new one?" Tears streamed down their faces the harder they laughed, Axel laying face down, his mirth muffled into the carpet, his best friend gripping his side and snorting. "Oh no, a tiger! Hang on, let me just get ol' faithful out here and-"
"DEM! E-enough!" Axel gasped, coughing.
"ha ha! Oh man. There's just no way I could EVER forget that!" he wheezed.
After a lengthy period of giggle fits and heavy sighing, the two calmed down enough for Axel to give a final rough cough and continue his story. "So, yeah. Getting back to the incident. There I was, walking downtown toward the hotel after grabbing some breakfast at that little place by the park on 33rd Street, you know, the one with the killer breakfast burritos? When, surprise, surprise! It starts to rain. And I mean it really rained. Hard. Me being me, I thought, well hey, I can make it five minutes in the rain without melting and save me a couple bucks on a taxi." He shook his head. "I know zilch about this town aside from a couple restaurants. But I thought it was a good idea at the time." The beer bottle fell over as he stretched out his legs, picking at the hallway carpet with his fingers. "And lo-and-behold I got my ass more lost than Waldo after twenty minutes of backtracking. I wound up in some shit part of town where a group of these little snot nosed kids kept asking if I was cosplaying as 'Knuckles.'" Axel screwed his face up at the thought, confusion apparent in his angular features. "Just who the fuck is that?"
Demyx gave a scoff and dismissed the question with a wave, "Video game character, not important to the plotline. Continue."
He shook his head. "Anyway, after dodging the little weirdos I finally decided to ask this chick in a pink suit if she knew where The Terrace Hotel was."
"I already know where this is going."
He was silent for a beat before continuing, his ears turning slightly pink." I had somehow walked forty-five minutes in the pouring rain and landed myself nearly a two miles away from where I was supposed to be."
"Oh my god."
"I know! I know! I'm not usually that bad with directions! But jesus fucking christ. Two miles. I can't even tell you how peeved I was! So I said, okay fuck this, I'm getting a taxi. I search around in the rain for a good twenty minutes before deciding to loop back around and ask someone else nearby. I turn around the corner when next thing I know, I heard this little old granny scream 'look out!' I look over and she's pointing at me, but I don't see anything around that could rear up and attack or nothin like that. But when I look up, I see some little blondie makin a free fall dive for my face! I stuck my arms out in a last ditch effort or some shit, and I caught him." He scratched his head sheepishly. "But. ah. I wasn't quick enough. So he still cracked his head pretty hard on the these nurses came out and tried to pick him up and... Everything got sort of crazy from there."
Demyx fixed him with a questioning look as he trailed off. But Axel couldn't bring himself to meet his gaze. The memory of the incident was still too fresh, and to be honest, it was all sort of fuzzy. Grey and hazy while the world slowed to a stop; a freeze frame of that pale and limp body laying haphazardly across his own. Those thin arms, one marred with thin almost unnoticeable jagged scars running up the forearm, the other sporting an angry looking bruise. The head tilted back, shocks of flaxen locks dyed crimson as warm blood oozed from an unseen wound. It was enough to knock the air from his lungs, the way he looked so much like a fallen angel. Beautiful even with a mask of death on those youthful features. He sat up, moving to cradle the heavenly assailant in his arms. Time moved once more as those eyes fluttered open briefly,eyes as blue as the deepest of skies gazing with blindly, blinking and rolling as he tried to regain consciousness. Axel opened his mouth to say something, but the insistent tugging on his arms interrupted his thoughts. Stern-faced cows donning a nurse's uniform now surrounded the two of them, moving to take the youth from his grasp.
He stood there, being tugged upward and unable to make heads or tails of precisely what in the actual fuckery was going on. The fumbling blonde made seemed to have regained enough of his senses to make a feeble attempt at fighting back when he was lifted by his arms. The blood that mixed with the puddles of muddy rain water beneath him made Axel's heart drop into his stomach. Jesus, there was just so much of it everywhere. He tried to step forward, tried to find someway to help. But those damned nurses kept telling him to 'kindly leave the patient to them'. Yeah, like hell he would. They made aggressive grabs at his arms and legs, yanking and pulling at those horribly abused and now pale, bruising limbs. So many people gathered around, whipping out phones and cameras, whispering and gossiping, some even laughing. God it made him so angry to see that. He tugged harder at the hands on his arms and promptly told them to 'fuck the hell off'. He had turned around in time to see the kid take a spill off the curb and land with his face in the mud.
He had laid there, shivering. Sobbing into the muddy water, attempting to drag himself away from those white-clad harpies. People laughed, pointed, jeered. Some shook their heads, but most walked away. Sapphire eyes searched those faces endlessly the misery plain in those pitiful sobs. But not a single fucking person even bothered to help him up. It made him sick.
Then those blue orbs rested on him, a pale and trembling arm reaching out to graze its fingers atop his shoes, continually moving forward at an agonizingly slow pace until those shaking fingers locked around his ankle. Axel couldn't move. Didn't dare to move away from that fragile grip. His gaze fell on those eyes, and his heart nearly broke at the desperateness he saw there. A raspy plea. lost to the sound of the rain. Mud smeared across those rounded features while the crowd continued to watch.
His breath caught in his throat painfully. This was fucking enough.
Without a second thought, Axel reached down and took that shaking hand, pried it from his ankle and hoisted the blonde upright. "You and me are going for a little walk." He said, pulling the boy up and over his shoulder. There was a look of brief confusion and surprise on many faces before Axel promptly decided to book it down the street as fast as his lanky legs could take him. The kid was a lot fucking heavier than he looked, but all be damned in the world if he was going to leave the poor kid to those hateful harpies in the middle of the street in downtown fucks-ville. He would think about the consequences when they came. But right then and there, his only focus was to run, to run and get as far away from all of those prying eyes as humanly possible.
The whole thing was a blur of motion, reckless decision making and a helluva a lot of sprinting. Axel rubbed a hand roughly over his face and mumbled softly, "That look... and those scars. I couldn't help it Dem. I just fucking picked him up and ran for it. You should have seen those goddamn cows out there, yanking and pulling him and shit. And nobody even helped him! Some asshole even had the gall to laugh when one of the nurses pulled his hair. How fucked up is that? Really fucked up, right? Please tell me this wasn't the wrong decision. Please tell me I did the right thing, Dem."
There was a long stretch of silence as Demyx regarded his best friend with a contemplative air. With a heavy sigh, he leaned forward and gave a sympathetic pat to the red-head's knee, "... and here I thought you were just a condescending asshole who only comes to my house to eat all of my food and crack on my taste in music."
"Well to be fair-"
Their banter was cut short as a blood curdling scream erupted from behind the guest room door.
OooOooo
This stuff is still under construction. I'm really trying to make it sound decent for you guys. I'm hoping it's getting there! Please let me know what you think! I would greatly appreciate it!