CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"Proper attire?" Edward asked immediately offended.

"It's a country club; I don't even have proper attire half the time." I huffed. "We're going to have to stop by Barney's on our way."

"On our way…." Edward waited for me to explain why he was being brought into this equation.

"My grandfather wants to meet you. Apparently he doesn't believe that I have befriended the very same homeless dude that I may have once bitched to him about. He doesn't take no for an answer so if you really are my friend, now would be a great time for a friendly favor."

Edward sighed and processed, "Fine. But getting back to our earlier conversation…"

"Look, I'm sorry. I am going to be once again, completely selfish and ask that…we finish this…later. My grandfather is feisty and he…he's like the only person in this family who gives a shit about me and I don't want to let him down so can you be the bestest friend in the world and please come with me." I pleaded.

Edward sighed, "Fine but we will finish this conversation later, Bella."

"Cross my heart." I promised.

"Well, what's first up?" Edward asked.

"I have to go and find something appropriate to wear. My grandfather is like a million times worse than you when it comes to hem lines and cleavage. I have a feeling you two will get along famously."

"There's nothing wrong with leaving a little mystery, Bella."

"Well then call me John Grisham and stick me in a convent, Edward." I quipped.

"Maybe…we should both go shopping and find something appropriate." Edward suggested.

I thought for a second, "Well it has been a long while since I graced Nordstrom's with my presence."

"I was thinking along the lines of something more cost-effective."

The music playing in my head scratched to a halt.

"I am not going shopping at some dollar store." I snapped.

"Dollar store doesn't carry clothes but what's wrong with a Target or a Wal Mart."

I stepped back and gasped. "What's wrong with you is more like it." I started shaking my head just envisioning having to step foot in a place like that. Once again my vision wasn't much unlike my thoughts of stepping foot into a soup kitchen for the first time, crying babies and sad people.

"I will not buy clothes from a…place that sells garments alongside beef jerky."

"Beef jerky is on the complete opposite side of the store."

"The fact that it's in the same building is reprehensible. What is so wrong with going to a place that specializes in one thing? Clothes are not just clothes. They are the very foundation for which we live our lives in. Even Adam and Eve realized that it was better to have a leaf then to not have anything at all."

"Adam and Eve would have jumped at the chance to shop at a Target. Your evidence is overruled."

My mouth dropped.

"Then how about we swing by and grab something for you…from one of those places." I cringed, "And then we swing by a…fabulous little boutique I know of on Wilshire for me. There, we both get what we want in life. It's what we would call a win win."

Edward stood with his arms crossed shaking his head, not amused by my redirect.

"Come on! Fine…A Guess store. The Gap. BeBe." I grasped for straws. "I cannot be seen buying…overalls or whatever that place may have. I could sue for emotional distress."

"Come on, it will be fun. I can help you find an outfit and you can help me." Edward tried to shake me into submission.

I thought gay guys had an innate sense of style.

I tried over and over in the car to throw out different suggestions on clothing stores but Edward wouldn't budge. It was like he had secret stock in Target and wanted to help out his portfolio. We arrived at the overcrowded store and I walked in cautiously, keeping my purse close to my body and making sure not to touch anything.

"See, not so bad." Edward remarked.

"Everything is so…red."

"Let's grab a cart." Edward ignored my observation and walked over to this long line of red shopping carts.

"I'm not touching that. Good lord knows where that cart has been." I stated.

"It's a shopping cart. I highly doubt it's been taking nightly strolls in the shady part of town contracting STD's."

But I stood my ground and Edward pushed on.

"Do you want to go first or should I?" Edward stopped pushing and gave me a look.

I looked around hopelessly.

"Stop acting like a baby. This isn't the worst thing that has ever happened on the face of the earth. This isn't even close I'd wager the worst thing to ever happen to you."

I looked over and saw a woman berate her child the same way Edward was berating me. I huffed and lightly stomped my way over to the ladies section. I stood in the middle of the clothes trying to find something that was worthy enough to wear when seeing my grandfather at the country club. I couldn't help but think that all of these clothes would have worked well for my "homeless for a day" experiment.

"There isn't anything here."

"Here we go again." Edward huffed and came over, "How about for this exercise, I pick something out for you and you pick out something for me. That way you can never be blamed for the fashion faux pas of buying your clothes from a major retail store. It will be something that I picked and you have every right to blame me for it if for some reason someone should say something."

I waved for him to go ahead. I can't imagine what vile outfit he would pick for me.

"Would you prefer a dress or pants?" Edward asked walking around.

"Well, this is a somewhat nicer country club so…I'd a prefer a bag to wear over my head."

"Got it! Something that screams asphyxiation and goes with a nice brown tone." Edward pulled out a purple dress and I scrunched up my face getting ready to scream at him but he caught my face and quickly returned it to the rack.

"With your beautiful hair and eyes, I think this would go well." Edward said handing me a long green belted lace dress.

"My shoes won't match that."

"Well, we are in luck because they also have shoes here too."

"Awe joy! It's like I walked into the seventh circle of hell."

Needless to say, our shopping expedition took much longer than expected. I think Edward may have wanted a bottle of wine to himself after all the fuss I caused, especially after I tried to make a case that Target used a bull's-eye for its symbol as a way to sublimely telling their customers that they were hunting them all down. Our bill for this little experiment didn't even amount to the cost of my night cream.

But the new and unimproved selves that we became were finally on our way to the country club. I pulled up and gave the valet my keys. Edward still hadn't said one word to me since the checkout stand. Just what I needed, a grumpy homeless guy meeting my grandfather to tell him of all my misbehavior.

"Look, can you just pretend to not hate me right now? This is very important to me." I tried.

"Bella, I don't hate you but sometimes your…attitude just completely detracts from your beauty. There was no reason for you to act the way you did to the cashier. The poor girl is just trying to get through her day with one less asshole customer."

"I didn't say anything she…didn't already know." I cringed.

"You told her that she worked for the man…a man who was probably in a suit made out of poly blend material and then you asked her how she slept at night."

"She was badgering me about a credit card…to a store I don't ever want to step foot in again."

"You were doing so well, Bella. You were finally accepting that not everyone is as privileged as you but…you took like five steps back." He sighed and turned to walk into the club.

I started to feel really bad. Okay, so maybe I was a little bit bitchy. I think it was because I started forgetting about Edward's past and understanding how he could be so offended and maybe he was right, I was a total snob and what's even worse was according to him, I was a snob that was backsliding.

I stood where he had left me in that seventeen dollar ninety-nine cent dress not really feeling up to dinner.

"Hey…are you coming." Edward asked softly.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'm…I was a bitch. Sorry for being a bitch."

"You're not a bitch. Please don't call yourself that anymore. But, in the future at least try to think about how you're acting or what you're saying and try to understand how it can be offensive."

I nodded my head slowly.

"Come on. I really can't wait to meet your grandfather." Edward took my hand and pulled me along after.

I took a deep breath and just as we arrived to the front of the dining room, Edward let go of my hand and we walked in searching out my grandfather.

"There she is." He announced proudly.

"Hi, grandfather." I gave him my best smile even though I was still feeling a bit down. "This is Edward, a.k.a. the dude."

"Nice to meet you, Ed…." He paused as he shook Edward's hand and stuttered. "…ward…uh…uh…I've heard a lot about you."

"Thank you, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you as well." Edward replied.

"Well, shall we sit? I can't wait to hear all about the past couple of weeks and to hear from the dude himself on meeting you, Bella." Grandfather said.

We all took a seat at the dinner table and I slipped from my glass of water before continuing, "Edward can vouch that I have been keeping up my end of the bargain. I go to Horizons several times a week and have been trying to gain perspective, just like you asked."

"It's true. Your granddaughter has been really doing great at the kitchen." Edward confirmed.

"I'm practically a saint…like Mother Teresa." I jested.

"A saint who…has an interesting way of handing things. Jello. Mac and cheese." Edward smiled widely.

"Hey, the mac and cheese was not my fault…entirely. I just threw a spoon full. That bitch took down the whole tray on her own." I defended.

"What? What? What's this about throwing food? I thought the point was to get it on the people's plates, not throw it." My grandfather stepped in.

Leave it to Edward to out me to my grandfather. I gave him a threatening look.

"Like I said, it wasn't my fault. There was this…girl who doesn't like me and she was harassing me and saying horrible things and so I finally had enough and shut her up with a glob of mac and cheese." I paused. "Straight to the face."

My grandfather gasped appalled.

"Hey, I was defending myself."

"I like giving Bella a hard time but I will vouch that the girl deserved what Bella gave her." Edward finally assured.

"Well…it certainly sounds like things around the soup kitchen are much more interesting than things around here."

The waiter came and took our orders and grandfather started right back up.

"So Edward…I hope you don't mind me asking but…how has life been out on the streets?"

"Grandfather." I admonished.

"No. It's okay. I don't mind." Edward waved me off, "My time on the streets has been very…enlightening. It's like a whole new world and I have learned a great deal from my time and…I have met people who have changed my life for the better."

"It's absolutely fascinating…I'm sure you have. The stories you have heard and people you've been able to interact with. I have to say I am rather jealous. I find there is a lot to learn from meeting with various people. You should write a book." My grandfather gave him a look.

"A book? I can't imagine you doing that." I said to Edward. "Besides, Edward wants to run a food truck for the homeless."

"Just an idea I have for…the future." Edward quickly added.

"He just has trouble saving up the money for something like that. It's a big investment and even though Edward can made like a hundred dollars tax-free a day when he stands out on the corner…" Something occurred to me and I stopped in mid sentence, "Wait a minute…all this time you've been spending with me, you haven't been able to make your…money."

Edward shrugged.

"Have you had the chance to meet anyone…through Edward or the soup kitchen that has changed your life, Bella?" My grandfather asked.

"I met Edward. Trust me, he's enough for a lifetime." I insisted.

"I tried to get Bella to come with me one day…but it didn't go so well." Edward once again threw me under the bus.

"Oh…why is that?" Grandfather of course asked.

"Because Edward was being an asshole and was impatient." I jumped in first.

"True…I sometimes forget how hard stuff like this is for Bella. She wasn't really raised around…other walks of life so I think it scares her sometimes." Edward replied.

"Pish posh. That's ridiculous. Isabella, you missed out on a very enlightening experience. I'm disappointed."

"For what?" I exclaimed, "I tried and it didn't help that the whole morning Edward was berating me and…and…he threw me into a pool. After everything I tried to do and he just yells at me and makes me feel bad."

I sat back in my chair completely not happy with how this dinner was going. It was two against one and Edward was having a gay old-time fucking me over. My grandfather didn't say anything to my defense. He gave me a look like he was trying to figure something out.

"You two…spend a lot of time together?" Grandfather asked.

"Bella has been nice enough to let me stay a couple of nights in her guest bedroom in exchange for teaching her how to cook…which has been harder than you would think."

"I never asked you to teach me how to cook. In fact I believe I said you could stay in exchange for cooking for me. My own personal chef. Edward is a great chef." I boasted.

"Well, you two sure do have great chemistry together." My grandfather got a twinkle in his eye and I was completely thrown off guard. "You would make a lovely couple."

"Grandfather!" I shook my head. "No, we wouldn't."

"Why would you think that? I think I see…" My grandfather started but I cut him off.

"Grandfather, it's not going to happen. We…both don't want the same things in life."

I tried to make him understand what I was saying with my inference but he took it completely wrong.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, what do you mean?" My grandfather joined in.

They were both staring at me waiting for an explanation.

"Edward, you know." I stated.

"Know? Know what?" he asked.

"Is this because of his socioeconomic background? Because he was…is homeless?" Grandfather asked dismayed.

"What? NO! I…I…what is happening here?" I felt completely ganged up on. A wild cat in a corner, ready to lash out with my claws.

"Yeah Bella, then what is it?" Edward pressed happily.

"Because…because…" I turned to my grandfather and said softly out the corner of my mouth, "He's gay, grandfather."

"You think I'm gay?" Edward barked surprised.

I turned quickly, "Aren't you?"

"What? NO! Why would you think that?"

Oh shit.

"Well…I mean…isn't it obvious?" I cringed not helping my case. My grandfather sat there incredibly bemused by our little tiff.

"Obvious? What is so obvious, because apparently I missed the signs." He snapped.

I bit my lip, "Well…Alice said she thought so too. I mean she said it all made sense and she completely agreed that you probably had a thing for her father."

"I am going to fucking kill Alice."

"You don't need to be so hostile; it was just an honest mistake." He gave me a harsh look, "I think I liked you better when you were gay, you weren't so…unfriendly."

"I was never gay!" Edward exclaimed. "I have never been gay. I will never be gay. What the fuck would make you even think that?"

"Maybe my imagination ran away from me."

"YOU THINK?" He yelled.

"Hey, don't yell at me. All I know is that you said you had a secret…something you were clearly afraid to tell me and you spend a lot of time in my closet playing dress me up Bella and you get all pissy when I go on about fucking Carlisle Cullen and you….smell a little too decent for a homeless guy."

"So I must be gay because I tried to find you something decent to wear in public. I get irritated hearing you go on about your sexual prospects and I smell nice. Yep, must be gay."

"You know there is nothing wrong with being gay, you don't need to be so offended."

Edward got up quickly from the table and looked to my grandfather, "I'm sorry sir, but…I need some air."

He left the dining room in a hurry and I instantly felt horrible but it was an honest mistake.

My grandfather wasn't helping either; he sat there trying to contain his laughter.

"What is so funny? This isn't funny." I scolded.

He shook his head. "Oh Bella, sometimes you can't see what is directly in front of you. You work out clues to a mystery and go in the complete opposite direction of where you should go."

I shook my head irritated at him. I had no idea what he was babbling about.

"Would you excuse me?" I got up from the table and went to find Edward. I needed to make this right.

Edward was sitting just out the front door on a bench in front of the valet station. I sighed and slowly walked up, "Permission to approach the bench."

He looked up at me but didn't say a word.

"I'm sorry. Once again, I'm sorry." I sighed. "I…I…contrary to what you may think of me, I've never been the kind of girl who was around guys. I've never had a guy for a friend. I…in the past usually just fucked them but never befriended them. I woke up the morning after the soup kitchen scandal and your attempted confession assaulted me. It was the first thing to pop into my head and then Alice…came and she said I was spot on. I think…I think I wanted you to be gay. If you were gay…then I wouldn't have to think on you. We could always be friends and I would never have to worry that you or I would try for more…even a one night stand could fuck this up and I don't want to fuck this up because…Edward…you're the only thing that makes me happy anymore." I sniffled.

He looked into my eyes with sincerity and reached up to wipe a tear from my cheek.

"I don't want to fuck this up either. I hope you and I…will always be friends…but…I think it's time I tell you what I wanted to tell you last night. I hope that you will still be my friend because I'm happier when I with you too."

I took a deep breath waiting to hear it.

"Bella….I am…"

"Is everything okay?" My grandfather interrupted us both.

"Give us a minute, will you?" I asked.

"Uh…yeah of course but first I would like to talk to Edward." Grandfather insisted.

"Can't you wait? He needs to tell me something." I asserted.

"No, it can't. I…I…I didn't like the way he spoke to you in the dining room and I need to speak to him man to man. Please go back into the dining room, Isabella."

What the fuck was he talking about? Just five minutes ago he was so amused by Edward's and my spat, I thought he'd shit himself.

I started to protest but Edward stopped me. "Please Bella…we'll be in shortly."

I stood up confused and once again didn't like this…man code that they apparently were sharing with one another. Ever since we arrived tonight, it's been Edward and my grandfather against the evil powers of me. I sat at the table biting my nail and wondering what on god's green earth those two were saying to one another.

What my grandfather said was bullshit. He wasn't going to tell off Edward for how he spoke to me. Dinner arrived and still no sign of Edward or my grandfather. The plate with my chicken was placed down in front of me and I stood up not eating one bite ready to go straight to the valet and leave. Just as I was leaving the table they walked back in like they had just finished a round of golf. Laughing and patting each other on the back.

"Where are you going?" My grandfather asked.

"Home. I didn't realize that this was a gentlemen's club. If I wanted to eat alone I would have stayed home and ordered takeout." I snapped.

"Bella, come back to the table. We were just…our discussion took longer than we thought. I'm sorry." Edward apologized.

"Well, I wouldn't want to get into the middle of your little bromance. You two have a good night." I continued to walk on.

"Isabella! You have not been excused from the table. There's no reason to act like a brat. We're here and we aren't going anywhere the rest of the evening so sit down and eat your dinner." My grandfather ordered.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. My head was beginning to pound.

"Hey…sorry you felt abandoned. I think he just…wanted to feel heard. Wants the best for you." Edward said softly.

"What about what you were going to tell me?" I asked.

Edward looked over to my grandfather who was sitting back down at the table and sighed, "We can…talk later."

I shook my head and turned back to the table.

"So…Edward and I decided something." Grandfather started.

"I'm on the edge of my seat over here." I replied dryly.

"Tomorrow, we are going to go down and meet with some of Edward's friends. To go and hand out sandwiches and food like you two were supposed to do last week but this time I want to come with."

This was so not good.

"Oh grandfather, I don't know if you going to be up for that kind of thing."

"Nonsense. I'm not that old. I can still walk and talk and that's all I need. I'll be at your house at nine A.M. I too want to be enlightened."

I gave Edward a very dismayed look but he just smiled back at me before taking a bite out of his steak. Our dinner was strained to say the least. I never felt more uncomfortable than that meal. Edward and grandfather got along famously and I wondered if I was even needed.

Driving home I didn't say a word to Edward. I think he could tell I was a tad miffed.

"I can see why you like your grandfather so much. He is a very…wise man. I…told him what my secret was…or something like that and he advised me to not say anything…"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I lashed out. "I just sat through the most horrid meal of my life. Every turn you tried to screw me over. You and my grandfather made a fine team, maybe you should have him; he obviously likes you more than me."

"Are you jealous? Bella, there's no reason for it. Your grandfather loves you very much. I could tell by what he said to me…he only has your best interest at heart and wants to see you succeed in your life."

I laughed, "Yeah, great job I'm doing there. I have no job. No education. No future prospects. Looney Tunes to think I will ever succeed at anything."

"Stop. You have every opportunity to do something. To be happy. You just have to be willing to work for it."

I turned into my garage and pressed the button for the door to come down behind us.

"So…this big secret. You're really not going to tell me. You'll tell my grandfather but not me."

He sighed and looked out his passenger window to the darken garage.

"Bella…I…I fucked up." Edward paused. "I… accidently washed your silk blouse in the washer and it came out all fucked up."

I gasped. "The white Chanel with the gold and black buttons?"

"Uh…yeah…that's the one. I… uh was so afraid you were going to freak out and kick me out of your house so…I threw the top away. Please forgive me, Bella."

I shook my head after a short eulogy in my head and looked back over to him.

"It's okay. Accidents happen. I can understand why you would be afraid to tell me…I…it's a very sad thing."

"I am sorry, Bella."

"Don't worry about it. Anyway…we should get going. Since someone agreed to take my grandfather on a field trip tomorrow, I think we need to get to sleep."

I climbed the stairs after saying a brief good night to Edward. I pulled the Target dress off my body and tossed it in a corner with the shoes. I looked around my closet and thought for a second on how scared Edward must have been to tell me about ruining one of my more expensive tops. I did love that blouse but how many of my clothes in this closet were really practical. I could sell my whole closet and have a small fortune. I could sell my whole closet and Edward would have more than enough to start his food truck charity.

I pulled off one top from the hanger and then another and then another and then a dress and then a pair of high-waisted pants. Dresses and clothes I hadn't worn for months. Shoes and purses that sat idling collecting dust until I had a big pile in my closet. The empty hangers swung back and forth like a tornado had just come through. Only half of my clothes remained in their place. But it wasn't enough. I pulled shirt after shirt again to the floor until a breath caught in my throat.

White Chanel blouse with gold and black buttons. The only thing I had even close to the description I gave Edward. He hadn't ruined this blouse. Then what shirt did he ruin?

Suddenly my grandfather's words came to me.

You work out clues to a mystery and go in the complete opposite direction of where you should go.

Edward didn't tell me his big secret after all.

AN: Thank you all so much for continuing to read and support this story!