CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

"Why…would you think I was taunting her? It was merely a friendly wave and smile. She was looking straight at me and…I thought it was the polite thing to do." I defended.

Lie.

Edward stared and gave me that all-knowing superior look that he seemed to have mastered in our tenure.

"Really? Because…I was planning on saying something to her about the nasty look she was giving you. You didn't feel threatened or upset that she was essentially mad dogging you?"

"She was?" I tried to play it cool, "I…must need my eyesight checked because I thought she was being…friendly."

Lie.

I smiled and quickly filled my mouth with more chicken noodle soup.

"Do you…like her?" Edward asked.

"Like her? Uh…I really don't even know her."

Truth. Hey look at that.

"She's not even my type…missing the main stage appendage that seems to get me through the long winter nights and all."

Was I on trial here? I felt like I was on trial.

"Well you should get to know her…I was thinking about asking her out." Edward said standing up and walking out of the kitchen toward the sofa.

"Why would you want to do that?" The venom in my voice betrayed me as I quickly swirled around on my bar stool to face him.

Edward turned around and looked at me, "Well…she's…attractive and we get along pretty well. Plus her son is so adorable."

I bit on my lip as I heard Edward describe this woman's better traits. I couldn't deny that she was attractive. Trashy but still attractive and if Edward's girly hormones were working overtime, I'm sure that baby would seal any deal. But…she was a man slayer. I couldn't allow her to prey on poor defenseless naïve Edward who probably was only thinking with his...appendage.

"I don't know if that's a good idea…I mean…I've heard things about her. I don't want to see you get used." I justified.

"What did you hear? I didn't realize that you were working the homeless gossip circuit."

I narrowed my eyes a tad offended.

"You know what…date her…I hope she gets exactly what she wants from you and in return, I'm sure she will leave you with a nice little party gift as well." I snapped getting down from my bar stool.

"You don't need to get all pissy." He smiled. "It's just a date."

"Have your date. Ooo and then we can have a cute little homeless wedding where we can dress up the park in recycled bottles and cans and the bride I'm sure will wear a very tacky red dress and all your future step kids can be the flower girls and ring bearers. We can have the soup kitchen cater and you can ride off into the sunset in a beat up old pinto."

"Bella, that's uncalled for. Stop being ridiculous." His smile evaporated quickly.

"I'm being ridiculous? You're being ridiculous if you really don't see what she is doing. She is succubus who only meets men to knock her up so she can guilt them into staying with her. How can you be so blind? Or is that just a side effect of the syphilis that she plans on infecting you with?"

"You are being completely unreasonable. What is the matter with you?" he barked.

"Nothing. The sooner you go out and find little Miss Trailer Park, the sooner you'll be out of my life. So go and get your bride. I'm sure you two will be very happy."

I shoved off quickly for the room determined to go straight back to bed. I would barricade the door if I needed to just to be sure he wouldn't bother me anymore.

"What is your problem? Would you stop and talk to me?" Edward yelled after me. He reached out and grabbed my hand. "Bella. Stop!"

"Don't touch me. GO! Just fucking go already." I screamed.

"I'm not going anywhere and I was never planning on asking Tanya out."

I wiped the sheen of sweat that had gathered on my forehead and stood there trying to catch my breath. "Then…why would you…say that?"

"Because I know you're lying to me. I know you can see just fine so I'll ask you one more time Bella, why were you taunting Tanya at the park today?"

"Whatever, Sir Snoops-a-lot. I don't have to answer to you." I replied.

"You don't but I thought we were friends…I…I know why you did it but I want to hear it from you."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Edward." I shook my head, "I just…Angela told me some things about her. Yes, we were gossiping, for shame. I…I didn't want you to become another notch on her…whatever. Look, it takes a slut to know one and you deserve better."

"You think you're a slut?" He asked sincerely.

"I can't even remember a guy I slept with. I have had enough men to cover every single year I was alive. I'm not proud of my past and you just don't understand what went through my mind half the time when I was with these men…I have used and abused them because I just wanted to feel something and nothing came from a one of them. Tanya is the same. She is looking for something and I don't want to see her use and abuse you."

"I wasn't planning on ever being with her. Sure…she has tried and I'm not as stupid as you think. I know the moves that woman put on." He paused. "I don't think you're a slut but I don't want to see you…going out and abusing your body to keep searching for something. Please…have more respect for yourself, you deserve to be happy, Bella and I don't know if you'll ever find that…doing what you did in the past."

"I'm already way over sex. Ever since you…" I stopped quickly.

"Ever I since I what?"

"It's nothing." I turned and tried to get back up my steps. I was starting to feel the dizziness come back.

"No, what were you going to say? Ever since I what?"

I paused on the step and took a small breath, "Ever since you…said what you said in the soup kitchen…I…I was already trying to stop but you just cemented it and I haven't wanted to since."

This time he let me go and continue to my bedroom. I was already in bed when he finally made it up to my room.

"I did apologize for that." He said softly.

"I know…but there was nothing to apologize for…you were right. I didn't remember Jimmy's name. Couldn't remember sleeping with him. Nothing you said wasn't true."

"But it was completely inappropriate of me. I never should have said that and I regret it."

I shrugged and laid back down.

"Let me go and get you some medicine." Edward walked over to my bathroom and came back with some Tylenol fever reducer. I took the medication and he set the glass of water down on my bedside table.

"Why don't you get some rest…we can continue fighting in the morning." Edward walked over to my door and paused, "Just for the record…I'm not pursuing Tanya. I…I'm kind of interested in someone else right now and I have no plans for any future with Tanya so you don't need to be so hostile toward her if we should see her again."

He turned and closed my door leaving me with an ominous feeling. Who was he referring to? Was she someone from his past? Another homeless person? I had never really seen him with anyone else. At the soup kitchen he was always in the back cooking. I mean the only female person he hung around with was Alice and me…

Me.

Me?

I sat there staring at my ceiling like I was waiting for a great voice to boom from the great heavens saying, "Yes. You!"

I shook my head a little. "It can't be me."

I mean I may have feelings for Edward. I haven't even been able to really go through and determine what those feelings were yet but he just can't be thinking about me.

But what if he was? What if he was lying down in my guest bedroom right now, looking up at the ceiling and thinking about me. Thinking about a relationship with me. He would have to be cracked out of his mind for something as preposterous as that. What if that was his big secret? He had like a third grade school boy crush on me, wanting to pass me a note with the question, "Will you be my girlfriend, Yes or No. Circle one."

Or maybe I was blowing this way out of proportion once again. I mean so far I have already accused Edward of being gay. Thinking that he might have committed a murder or be an alcoholic. This was all the medication talking. Edward's not interested in you and if he was…then the only thing you should do Bella, is to offer him some psychiatric help.

I huffed and turned over, determined to get a better sleep then before. I needed to clear my mind of Edward.

Edward.

Edward.

It was like counting sheep but counting Edwards. I don't know how it turned so dirty so fast but soon I wasn't imagining sheep jumping, I was imaging Edward thrusting.

Edward five.

Edward six.

Edward seven.

My nipples hardened and I didn't have to check on my panties to know their state. I squeezed my thighs together.

Edward eight.

"Deeper."

Edward nine.

"Harder."

I closed my eyes and imagined the full picture. The full weight of Edward on top of my writhing body as I met him thrust for thrust. Over and over.

I pushed my butt up off the bed and let out a scream as I finally came. Normally it took me longer but it had been just too long for me.

Oh fuck! That felt good. I breathed a sigh as I came down in my bliss with I'm sure a stupid little smile upon my face.

"Bella. Are you okay?" Edward burst through my door and I screamed holding my sheets tighter to my body.

"What? What's going on?" I stuttered.

"I heard you scream."

"You heard that?" I shook my head. "Uh…I mean…"

"I was in the kitchen putting away the soup. What's wrong?" He came over and sat down on my bed. "You're sweating and flushed."

"I…I…thought I saw something. I must have been somewhere between asleep and awake and…" I paused to catch my breath, "You can go now. " I snapped.

Edward pulled back.

"I…just wanted to make sure you were okay." He said pathetically.

"Of course I'm okay. If I wasn't, I would scream…oh Edward…Edward…I need you…." I cringed as I realized how that sounded especially after my little concert in the sheets. "Just go to bed and shut the door behind you already."

He stood up backing away slowly. He shook his head, "Sorry to bother you…I was just worried."

Of course he was. Nothing to make me feel worse than knowing that Edward was just trying to be a decent guy. He closed the door behind him and now I was even more confused.

So I guess…I was attracted physically to Edward but that really wasn't enough to alert the media. I needed to start hashing out my true feelings and seeing if it was more than just physical attraction. If it wasn't, then great. I could continue on with life and so could he. Continue on with our friendship. However if it was more than just physical attraction….he would need to leave ASAP.

Talk about something to chew on.

My sleep was uneven concoction of peace and restlessness. Most of the night I spent tossing and turning and it wasn't until the early morning hours when I was able to pass out hard. Once it was done though, I felt amazing.

A couple of times I did wake up to what sounded like my door being open and closed but I would fall back asleep once the noise dispersed. My clock read past noon when I finally did emerge from my sheets. I wrapped myself in a blanket and hobbled downstairs completely famished. Since Edward's and my fight last night, I hadn't eaten as much of the chicken noodle as I should have.

I could already hear voices in the kitchen when I approached.

"Oh my goodness. Look at you! You really are sick." Alice gasped.

I looked over to Edward irritated, "Told you they'd think I was lying."

I walked over and flopped onto the couch pulling my blanket up around me.

"Still not feeling well, huh?" Edward asked.

"I couldn't sleep for most of the night."

"You're still coming to the Halloween party on Thursday, right?" Alice asked.

"Of course, I'll come as a plague of Egypt." I rolled my eyes.

"You just have to get better by then. You can't miss this. I already rented your costume and everything."

I cringed, "Just what…kind of costume did you rent for me, Alice?"

"Not going to tell you. You'll find out when I arrive that day." She replied all superior.

"And for me? What did you rent for me?" Edward asked.

"I…didn't. I thought it would be fun for Bella to dress you up."

"Why would we be thinking that?" I asked.

"Hell no!" Edward protested at the same time.

"Come on…it will be fun. I will dress up Bella and she can dress you…" Alice started.

"And I can dress up you?" Edward asked.

"Uh…well…uh…Jasper and I were going to go as Rose and Jack from the Titanic." She stalled.

"How romantic." I commented dryly.

"Come on Alice. I'm sure Jasper wouldn't mind if he let me take over your costume decisions for one Halloween." Edward folded his arms over his chest just like he always did when he knew he was winning.

Alice looked like her sails had just deflated.

"You better not make me ugly." She threatened.

"Oh…don't worry Alice; I plan on making you a queen." He smirked and for a second I was confused until he gave me a look and then it hit me.

I started laughing picturing what Edward had up his sleeve.

"Why are you laughing?" Alice stomped her little foot.

Edward and I couldn't stop and that just drove her even more nuts until she finally left in a tizzy.

"That was so awesome. I cannot wait to see this costume." I said to Edward.

"It was a stroke a pure genius if I must say."

He flopped down beside me, "Can I get you anything?"

"You don't have to wait on me. I'm not paying you."

"I was fully aware you weren't paying me, Bella." He jumped up from the couch, "I just thought I was being a nice friend by helping you through this time of illness."

"Don't you ever find it exhausting to be my friend?" I asked.

"I haven't slept since I met you, that's how exhausting you are, Miss Swan."

"Well then since I am in charge of your costume for this homeless kitchen shindig, maybe I should make you into Sleeping Beauty so you can sleep around the party, finally able to get away from me and my exhausting self."

"You better not make me a woman. First you turn me gay and now this."

I laughed evilly and then it came to me. "I could always make you…the male version of Sleeping Beauty."

Edward gave me a look, "Why does that frighten me even more."

We put our banter on the back-burner while Edward scrounged up something for us to eat. I laid on the couch watching old reruns of Project Runway while I waited.

"So what are the symptoms today?" Edward asked bringing me over some oatmeal.

"Just…tired…and hot and then cold and then hot again. I swear I must be suffering from the ill-fated menopause virus."

"No, you just have a little fever. Just keep bundled up and stay on the couch the rest of the day and hopefully you'll feel better by tomorrow."

"I don't want to waste my day sitting on a couch." I whined.

It was kind of a funny revelation. Before I met Edward, that's mostly what I did with my free time and now just the very thought of being forced to spend a day keeping up with my Kardashians and the desperate housewives of the country, had me wanting to put a bullet in my brain.

"We could always…talk. You know shut off the brain drainer and have an intellectual conversion."

"Or I could just kill myself right now and save us all the trouble." I smiled sweetly.

"We could…play a game…cards…Uno."

"Ooo…ooo..ooo…Monopoly or Life, I love the game of Life. I have them in my garage." I practically cheered.

"Children's board games?" Edward cringed.

"Or we can play a rousing game of trying to pull that great big Yale stick out of your ass."

"I've been waiting for you to throw that in my face."

"Come on Ivy leaguer, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt that old overly priced noggin of yours to lower yourself to the frivolity of games and merriment with a mere high school graduate."

"If…that's what you want to do." He replied with a great sigh.

"Games are in the garage, Lurch." I ordered with a swift slap on his back.

He got up and took his sweet ass time with the order. I hadn't played board games in years. I was sadly excited for this. He brought in a stack of them and started holding each one up and inspecting it.

"Let's start with Life." I began.

"Yes, why should we sit around and talk about it when we have plastic cars and peg people to play it for us." Edward quipped.

"True dat."

We set up the whole game and I nabbed the blue car before he could get his hands on it.

"So how do you know which path to take?" Edward asked inspecting the start.

"You have to decide whether you want to take the college route or just jump right into a career. College route costs more and takes more time whereas the career route you start at a lower salary. So seeing how this board is one great big metaphor for my life, I will skip the college and go straight to McDonald's cashier."

I spun the wheel and headed off. I picked up a career card, "Hey look at that. Did I call it or what? I'm a waitress."

I moved my car forward and waited for him to go next.

"You know you can still go to college." Edward started.

"I don't think my car can go in reverse." I said picking up the instructions.

"No…I meant in real life, you can still go to college."

"I think that cruise ship has long sailed but my car can sit idle for the rest of the game while you continue on and obtain a degree, get married and have lots and lots of babies."

"Bella, I'm being serious."

"So am I." I huffed and looked at him sternly. "Spin the wheel."

The last thing I wanted to talk about was my lack of education.

He sighed and spun the wheel and moved his car the correct number of spaces.

"Apparently I have to pay the bank thirty thousand dollars for tuition." He tossed the money into the box and I spun next.

"Payday." I stated and waited for him to go next.

"Finally out of school, hand me those career cards." Edward replied.

I handed him the pile for him to blindly choose from and he pulled the card out. He looked at it and paused.

"Can't be that bad. You wasted two turns just to follow your dreams so…what is it? Veterinarian? Highway patrol officer?"

"Uh…no…I'm…a reporter."

"Oh…well that's not so bad I mean unless your one of those scummy reporters for TMZ or something." I pulled the card out of his hands. "Salary kind of sucks for all that schooling you did."

I handed the card back at him and spun the wheel exited for my turn.

"Bella…I'm a reporter." Edward said again.

"And…I'm a waitress. If it really bothers you that much you can pick another card, you don't need to be such a baby about it."

The wheel landed on six so I moved up six spaces. "Fuck me, my car broke down."

I slammed five thousand dollars down on the board, "Your turn, Clark Kent."

Edward sighed and spun the wheel making it to another payday. I quickly spun after him getting ten spaces and moving straight past the chapel.

"You're supposed to stop and get married." Edward policed.

"Yeah…I don't really want a husband. They weigh down the car. I'm exercising my right to be a cat lady."

"That's not how you play the game. It tells you to stop and get married."

"Well, how about I play with no husband and when you get your shitty little Volvo up to this stop sign you can take my husband. Hell, you can fill your whole car with husbands and sister wives, whatever the hell floats your boat…or car."

"If you're not going to play by the rules, then I don't want to play with you."

"What is the big fucking deal? It's just a shitty board game. You're just pissed off because you got stuck with a shitty career." I tossed the rest of the career cards at him, "Here, be a rock star or a fucking doctor you blue blooded bitch."

"Why are you always so crass? Being a reporter isn't a shitty career. Reporters have an opportunity to effect change and show people what's really going on in the world, to open their eyes when all they want to do is stare down at their wallets."

"Then by all means be the next Carl Bernstein and just spin the fucking wheel already." I yelled.

"I don't want to play with a cheating…waitress. I guess I should be impressed you even know who Carl Bernstein is." Edward yelled back getting up from his chair.

"Hello, I have seen the movie, Dick; you dick."

"You know what, play by yourself, Bella because that is apparently what you want in this life, cat woman."

He tossed his fake money down on the board and charged off toward the front door.

"It's cat lady." I yelled after him, "Catwoman is character from Batman, dumbass."

I was so heated that I had to take a few moments on the couch just catching my breath. I looked down at the board game completely thrown in disarray by money and career cards. I saw my little blue Mercedes sitting there with its sole pink peg driver.

I picked up the car and Edward's car and pulled his peg out of his Volvo and put it into my car. I slowly set the car back down on the board next to the chapel and envisioned what kind of a future that the little pink peg could have. The board was littered with real life possibilities. Learning new skill, gain a life tile. Have a baby, collect money. Have twins, collect more money. House burns down and so on but not one of those spaces on the board said anything like, get a divorce. Spouse dies on you, lose a life tile. Have absolutely no direction in life and wander aimlessly alone for the rest of it, pay twenty thousand dollars.

This time I had no period to blame and Edward was long gone so I curled up on the couch and cried for my pathetic game of Life.

AN: Long time since updates, I know. Sorry about that hopefully it will be back to smooth sailing here for at least another two weeks till my vacation. I hope that you all are still enjoying this story. Thank you for reading and reviewing. Hope this chapter helped some of you out.