CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I wandered through the streets of Los Angeles for what seemed like an eternity. I had no idea where I was or how I even got home. I think early in the morning I must have had the sense to locate a taxi to take me home but my mind is foggy with the details.

I sat in my living room unable to find sleep. My mind went over every single moment I shared with Edward. I picked out the clues that should have alerted me and then proceeded to berate myself on how I didn't catch them.

I felt incredibly stupid. All the looks and words exchanged with Alice and Edward, how did I not see it? How did I not even figure that much out? The way I spoke about Carlisle Cullen to Edward. The way Rosalie seemed obsessed with Edward. Cryptic exchanges with Jasper and Emmett. The whole world knew what was right in front of me and I was too stupid to see it.

"Bella…I'm a reporter."

So so stupid was I.

"I don't want to hurt her and not telling her…when she finds out…"

Lie.

My grandfather figured it out. He knew who Edward was. Why wouldn't he tell me? He surely didn't agree to Edward writing an article about me, did he? Could I not even trust my own flesh and blood? My own grandfather was a cause to this overwhelming pain.

I clutched my head to try to stop all the spinning. I wanted to cry but I already felt pathetic enough, crying would just make it worse.

I'm not sure how it happened but I finally was able to pass out on the couch only to be awoken by a couple of knocks and doorbell rings at my front door. My body felt wreaked as I managed to pull myself up off the couch to go and answer it.

I couldn't even begin to imagine who would be on the other side but of course Edward's name popped up into my mind and I had half a mind to grab something heavy to hit him with. I felt a fire inside me that didn't want to be distinguished by pain. I wanted revenge.

I opened my door and took a step back seeing Rosalie stand upon my door step. Alice beside her.

"Bella…" Alice started.

I walked forward toward Rosalie and Alice and it was a sheer gut reaction. I slapped Alice across the face so hard my hand was tingling after. She pulled back and clutched her face surprised by my outburst as tears filled her eyes. Rosalie stood by in shock like she was trying to figure out what to do.

"Stay away from me." I managed.

I stepped back inside my door ready to close it but Rosalie stopped me.

"We came to apologize." Rosalie stated.

"I don't want your apologies. I don't want anything from any of you ever again." I looked over to Alice, "I expected something like this from her…but…you?"

I shook my head and I could feel all my hurt bubbling up in my chest once more. Just seeing Alice's face made me think violent thoughts.

"Who are you people? Was this…was it…just some kind of game to you all? Did your brother talk you into doing this so he could…further his own career or are you just that disgusting of a human being?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry, Bella…I wanted to tell you…I begged Edward but he kept saying that it wasn't the right time and that he should be the one to tell you. I never knew he was writing the article on you. I swear. I thought he was writing it on the homeless community." Alice pleaded.

"We are so mad at Edward. He was supposed to shed light on Horizons and the people…he was supposed to make a difference but this article did none of that." Rosalie said holding up the morning paper.

I felt my stomach turn as I looked at the newspaper just feet away from me. What did it say? Edward "apologized" for it. Was it really that bad?

"Bella, I don't know you…I know I was a bitch to you but that's only because I honestly thought you knew who Edward was and you were just using him…using Alice to get to Carlisle. Ever since I joined this family I have seen the very worst in people. They hear about Carlisle Cullen and they do whatever it takes to be a part of the money…hoping for just a piece of it. I am sorry for how I treated you…I would never wish this upon anyone who didn't deserve it." Rosalie said holding up the paper, "What Edward did was completely inappropriate and undeserving."

"Please Bella, you have to believe us…we didn't want this…any of this. You are my friend…" Alice wept.

"FRIEND?" I shouted. "FRIEND! I will admit that I haven't had many friends and most of the friends I have had in the past were horrible people just like me but you, you are worse than all of us. You lied to me and you probably sat back with Edward and laughed at how stupid I was. All the times I confided in you and you couldn't give me the same respect. I actually trusted you. I actually believed that you and I could be friends. That for the first time I had a real genuine friend. Someone I could talk to and not feel like you were going to hurt me but you hurt more than anyone else."

And just like that all the tears that I had worked so hard at holding back were finally free and I think I hated Alice just a little bit more for it.

"I don't want anything to do with any of you. Friends…we were never friends." I exhaled and turned back in my house to shut the door. The poison of her words ran through me and even though deep down I knew that I would be okay in the end of all this, right now I couldn't foresee any bright future for me.

I was torn about what to do next. Part of me wanted to go down to the newsstand and read what Edward Cullen had written about me but another part screamed for me to stay in this house and never leave it.

I walked out to the pool and pictured that day with Edward and I realized that staying in this house could not be an option. Just as I was afraid to bring any man back to my house, I fully understood my reasoning for keeping people away from this sanctuary. Now Edward had tainted nearly every part of my house and everywhere I looked, I could see him still. Even my own bedroom had memories in it. My own bed. The bed downstairs where I gave Edward a sacred piece of me, all of it was tainted.

I walked back into my kitchen leaving the outside for now and just stared around the room. I want to take a sledge-hammer to this place in hopes that if I disfigure it enough then maybe I could stand to live here once more.

I'm not sure how much time passed until the next doorbell ring came. Ironic, since a couple of months ago the only time it rang was for food deliveries and now when I want silence and solitary, I can't find either.

I know Alice and Rosalie won't make the mistake to come back so I'm mildly curious at who could be at my front door this early in the morning. I quickly try to wipe any remaining tears or blotches from off my face and once more pull the door open.

I gasped and am overcome with the sight before me.

"Daddy." I said in a small voice.

For just a moment I want to lunge at him and hug him because I finally feel like my father is here to make everything better. But he does not look happy.

He stands at the front door; a tower of a man holding the infamous article in his hands.

"Isabella." His lips taunt barely moving to get my name out.

I pull open the door and let him in and he passes stiffly by.

"What is the meaning of this?" He started the moment I had shut the door.

"I didn't know he was a reporter…I…I thought he was homeless." I tried to justify in the smallest of voices.

"Why in the hell would you ever allow…some…homeless man into this house in the first place? What is the matter with you? Do you have any idea what this is going to cost me?"

His voice isn't loud like it normally is when he's upset. Instead it's low and spiteful. Suddenly I don't feel like a reprimanded child but instead more like an employee whose about to be fired.

"I didn't know." I defended softly.

He pulls open the paper and begins to quote out loud, "Isabella Swan, daughter of Charles Swan of Swan Enterprises, came crashing into my life when I was two months into my social experiment… she started quoting words from her father stating, "…one should always help themselves before…" Fortunately for Mr. Swan, I never did hear the rest of that credo as I couldn't help but engage into a conversation with this poor ignorant girl, hoping for some enlightenment with my experiment."

Poor ignorant girl? Even though it was true, it still hurt. I can't believe he used that line against me. This was bad. Really bad.

"You know I have investors calling me up and telling me that they want to pull their money from my company because they don't want to be associated any longer with the Swan name." My father threw down the paper on a nearby chair. "I have a daughter who disgraces me in front of the whole world. I have a company that is going to take a hit on the market today because you couldn't keep your fucking mouth shut. The amount of damage control I have to do is insurmountable."

He towered over me and for a small second I was actually afraid of what he might do to me. I trembled trying to get out an apology but he wouldn't hear it.

"I am through Isabella. From this point on you are cut off. Your car. Your bank accounts. This house and everything in it belongs to me and you have until the end of the weekend to get out."

"Daddy! It's not my fault. I didn't know. He…he…Edward Cullen lied to me. I had no idea he was a reporter." I begged with tears running down my face. My heart pumped quickly at the words of my father. He wouldn't really throw me out of my own house, would he?

"You are twenty-three years old. Grow up! You are no longer my responsibility. I have done my part."

He started to leave but I chased on after him.

"But I don't have anything. I don't have a job. I don't have money. I don't have anyone anymore. Please daddy. Please…I'm your daughter." I begged.

He looked at me one last time, "Not anymore."

In the course of twelve hours I lost everything. I lost a friend. I lost my father. My home. My things and I lost Edward.

I stood like a stone carving at my door as I watched my father's retreating form. My chest rising and falling with a panicky air was all that moved on my lifeless body. I didn't even shut my door as I backed up slowly to fall into the high back chair which adorned my entryway. Correction; this once was my entryway.

I slowly sat down upon the cushion and I heard the rustling of paper beneath me.

The newspaper article.

My tears had stopped and now I was left with nothing. Absently I fumbled with the dirty newspaper underneath me and pulled it out to reveal a picture of me on the page. The picture was one taken the previous night at the soup kitchen when all the reporters were there for the goodwill piece on Jacob Black. The headline, "The Ugly Duckling" was plastered on top of my picture and I couldn't miss the byline of Edward Cullen accompanied at the top of the article.

I swallowed harshly as my eyes searched out the beginning and tried to make sense of the words. What did Edward Cullen have to say about me? It wasn't pretty that's for sure. When he spoke of me, it was almost as if I was merely a subject in his experiment, no better than patient zero. It was all so clinical. Isabella did this. Isabella said that. He used my words against me and things that I confided in him were open to the public.

He briefly disclosed my past history of men and made mention of my rocky relationship with my father. I wanted to be angry but I wasn't angry.

"Isabella will never truly become a Swan. She is nothing more than an ugly duckling whose heart and mind will remain shallow and incapable of empathy." I read aloud for the first time after reading it silently over and over again. I had thought that it would have sounded differently out loud then rolling around in my mind. It did sound different. It sounded worse.

I was never anything more to him than just a story. His words were cruel but were they untrue? Was karma finally catching up to me and now I was to pay for my past sins.

I should be thinking of more important things. I should be thinking of where I'm going to live come Monday. What would I eat? Who would hire me now? This article was going to ruin my life. No one would hire me now and I couldn't blame them because who would ever hire a rich stuck-up bitch?

Richie Bitch.

I noticed how he made no mention of his little pet name for me. No doubt he didn't want to make himself look bad. I wanted revenge but I had just been dealt a heavy blow and I couldn't comprehend how I could exact it.

"Bella." I looked up from my chair at the front door which still stood open from my father's departure and saw my brother standing there in a navy suit.

"Can I come in?" he asked looking at me.

I shrugged, "Not my house anymore."

He sighed and walked in the short distance, his shoes clacking on the floors of the entry way. He shut the door behind him and turned back to me.

"Did you come here to disown me too?" I asked.

"No…just…give dad some time to cool down. You know how he gets." Michael replied.

"I don't think he will this time…he said that I…I….wasn't his responsibility anymore."

"Have you eaten anything today?" Michael asked looking around.

"I would vomit if I had."

"Come on." He said holding out a hand to me. "Let me…go and make you something."

Michael and I weren't ever close to one another so I was skeptical at his hand but at this point, what did I have to lose. I took his hand and he pulled me up before releasing me. He walked in front toward the kitchen and started to look through what I had. It wasn't much so I would be impressed with whatever he managed.

A bowl of cereal was what I got.

"Did I really ruin dad's company?" I asked.

"Maybe for today but that's the great thing about what we do, people don't care about any of that when it comes to their money." He stated gesturing to the article still in my hand. "As long as we continue to make them rich, nothing else matters."

Michael looked into another cupboard and then promptly shut it, "Man, you really don't have anything to eat around here, do you? You should go…shopping or something."

"What's the point, I'm to be evicted by Sunday and even if I did want to shop…dad shut down my accounts."

"No he didn't." Michael announced, "Like I said, he will get over this."

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

Michael looked taken aback by that question and confused. "You're…my little sister. I…it's my job to look out for you. I know you think I'm just a pain in the ass but I've always kept an eye on your accounts to make sure you were okay. To be honest, I've been kind of worried lately because you haven't been spending your usual amounts so I guess that article cleared it all up for me."

"I am an….ignorant, shallow, girl incapable of compassion according to that article." I noted.

"I happen to not believe everything I read." He replied. "Plus…I was able to read between the lines. My sister has been helping out at a soup kitchen for the past couple of weeks. My sister took in a homeless man…er…man she thought was homeless and gave him food and shelter. My sister finally got rid of those vapid friends she used to have and honestly…I've never been prouder of you. It's clear to me seeing how I know you; that Edward Cullen only wrote this article out of spite, not toward you but spite of Jacob Black. Jacob took the one thing he wanted and he wasn't man enough to step up and be honest with you so he took his anger out on this article. I'm not saying that I don't plan on suing the asshole for defamation but the only person who I think is ignorant in this whole debacle is…Edward Cullen."

It was probably the nicest thing Michael ever said to me. I felt like my whole world was turned upside down. The people I trusted and wanted to turn too had either hurt me or abandoned me. And here was Michael who, like he said, was a pain in my ass; he was the only person to stand by me.

"Thank you, Michael. I…wish I could say that I believed your words but…lately I've been practically kicked in the teeth by…everyone. Even grandfather who…who was always there for me. Even he betrayed me."

"Grandfather?" Michael furrowed his brow.

"He knew who Edward Cullen was. I introduced them to each other and…he's known all along. In fact I ever overheard him talking to Edward and telling him to not tell me his big secret. I knew Edward had a secret but I thought it was something like he was married or…gay. Grandfather knew this whole time that Edward was a reporter. He's responsible for this whole mess."

Michael looked pensive for a moment before responding, "Are you…mad at grandfather?"

"Hell yeah I'm mad." I finally lashed out.

I was mad at grandfather. He could have told me. He could have kept my heart from getting broken.

"I don't think now is a good time to tell him." Michael replied solemnly.

"Why not?" I asked irritated.

Michael sighed, "Because he's in the hospital."

My heart stopped again and I could feel my eyes prickly with tears.

"What?" I asked softly, disbelieving.

"I…I didn't know you were so close with him. I thought you knew." Michael replied.

"What…what happened?" I sat down forgetting my anger.

"He…has stage four colon cancer. He opted to not take the chemo. I don't think the doctors are giving him long now."

Just when you thought you knew what problems were important, you find out that it pales in comparison.

"He went into the hospital a couple of days ago…if you wanted to go and see him before…"

I nodded absently and stood back up leaving the article on the chair.

"Yes, I need to go and see him…I…he never told me. I didn't know."

"It will be okay, Bella…everything will find a way to work itself out." Michael said before digging into his pocket for his keys. "He's at Cedars."

I nodded and watched as he left. I wanted to go over everything that Michael had come here to say but I needed to get my butt in gear and get to the hospital. My anger for my grandfather dissipated and suddenly it didn't matter what grandfather knew or didn't tell me.

I didn't take long to get ready because there wasn't an outfit or a miracle makeup trick to help me look any better. This was as good as it was going to get after hours of tears and sniffles. I'm sure I looked like a train wreak but if you're going to look pale and sickly, a hospital is the best place for that.

I located the parking garage and hustled to find a space. A thousand things went through my mind as I made my way toward the hospital doors. How long did he have left? This couldn't be happening. Grandfather was the only person who I believed genuinely liked me.

I could already feel myself working into frenzy as I had flashes of funerals in my mind and then nothing. I was in such a rush to get to him that I barely noticed the people around me. Barely noticed any cars whose path I crossed. There were a couple honks of a horn to alert me that I may have cut off a car or two.

And then, "Ooofff." I gasped as I ran straight into someone coming around a corner.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm…" I looked up to apologize quickly but then my mouth ran dry.

"Bella…" Edward whispered.

I just stood there staring at him. With my mouth open, my mind went every rich way. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to yell. I wanted to seek my revenge but nothing was happening because my mind had crashed. A complete system failure.

So I just stood there, staring at the man who ruined my life. Staring at the man who I once had feelings for.

AN: I think that damn Sam Smith song, Stay with Me played a thousand times while I thought about these chapters. I want to thank you all sincerely for reading and reviewing and I want to thank my awesome Beta, Robstenvampgirl for her quick turnaround on this chapter.

Yes, Edward is a mess and who know's if there is anything he could ever do to make up for what he did in your eyes however I think we we are truly in love with someone, there is a lot of crap we put up with or allow because in the end we love that person and will forgive nearly all. That being said I hope I don't disappoint too many of you with the coming chapters.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!