Chapter 17 - Monday

A few days passed and nothing changed. Chloe was still wary about Beca leaving. Beca began to think that Chloe would always assume the worst.

Monday reared it's ugly head. Chloe's always hated Mondays. But now her hate has increased by a tenfold because those are the days she now has to attend trauma therapy from two-thirty until four-thirty every afternoon.

Yeah, it was a voluntary decision, but that does not make the situation any better.

The one perk of Mondays is that Chloe was given the day off. Beca decided she would take the day off as well, instead of Wednesdays, so after Chloe's therapy they could spend the rest of the day together. It would make the day just that more bearable.

Beca and Chloe were walking into the hospital where Chloe was supposed to be attending the therapy. Chloe was holding onto Beca's hand so tightly, the brunette was sure the blood circulation was being cut off, but didn't say anything.

"Are you supposed to check in or something?"

Chloe looked around and saw a few people in the front waiting room. The room was very large, clean and open. The light shown down through the glass interior and Chloe sighed once she heard Beca's voice.

"Yeah. Hold on," Chloe stated as she let go of Beca's hand and walked up to the front desk.

Chloe told the women why she was there, and who she was. Beca wasn't aloud back with Chloe, which they both knew was the case.

Chloe walked back over to Beca just before she had to go, she smiled, albeit sadly at her. She noticed and brought Chloe into her for a loving hug. She ran her hands up and down her back and kissed her cheek, "You'll be fine, Chlo."

Chloe pulled back and nodded, "Thank you."

Beca then let Chloe walk back with a random nurse. She walked outside to make a call. She dialed Jesse quickly to ask him an important question.

"Hey, you still asking today?"

"I'm kinda nervous.."

"You really think she would say no? Really?"

Beca sighed, "I don't know. What if I freak her out?"

Jesse laughed, "I don't think she'll be freaked out. Plus, the idea you've got is actually adorable. I tip my hat to you, Beca."

Beca snorted, "Thanks. Well, I better get going if I'm going to make it in time to pick it up."

"Good luck!"

Beca hung up and took a breath as she began walking, hoping her big decision was right.

Once Chloe was taken back into the right room, she was led in and sat down. Soon enough, the door opened again and a tall man with shaggy hair walked in.

"Hello.. Chloe? Chloe Beale?"

Chloe nodded and half smiled.

"My name is Doctor Mason," The man walked over to the chair that was obviously reserved for him.

"All right, so for this first session we will just discuss your traumatic stress. I will use a trauma scale to measure this information. Sound reasonable?"

Chloe nodded, "Yes."

He smiled warmly, "First off, how are you doing today?"

Chloe bobbed her head and tapped her fingers on her knee, "I'm doing okay."

"Good. Good, how have you been in general? I understand from your file, you're taking a new medicine?"

Chloe opened her mouth to reply, then closed it for a moment. She thought about lying and saying all was well, but suddenly she was blurting out, "I'm tired. The medicine makes me really drowsy. And I feel like I can't ever get enough sleep. But other than that, I'm actually doing okay."

"Yeah, that's the only drawback of the highest dosage. But it does work very well."

Chloe nodded, "Yeah, I hope it does what it's supposed to."

He smiled, "So, I'm going to explain to you the four categorized symptoms of traumatic stress, and I want you to explain to me if you feel like you fit into the categories or , I already know which ones you fit into. But, this is for your benefit."

Chloe nodded in agreement and he went on to explain all of the categories.

He explained hyperarousal. The increase in heart rate, respiration and blood pressure; psycho-motor agitation, difficulty sleeping, remembering and concentrating, anxiety, fear, irritability or anger.

Chloe knew she had the anxiety, fear, and anger. She agreed to being hyperaroused, but the doctor confirmed that she was in fact not. And that those symptoms are that of normality. And most and many people do have the emotions. Even though, yes, she had them due to her past, she doesn't fit into the category.

He then explained avoidance. Avoiding reminders of the trauma including talking about it, thinking about it, visiting places where it occurred, or being around people who shared the experience. Other avoidant symptoms include withdrawing from friends or family, or being unable to work. Avoidance was a common one. And in reality no one wants to think about what had happened to them, but in this traumatic scale, not everyone fits in. Because it can range from being so emotionally scarred that even having one thought can scare you, to thinking about it for hours and it having no affect on you because it's so deep in your brain. You feel numb to the memory.

Chloe fit into it. She never really realized it, but she does avoid it. Thinking about it scares her, talking about it makes her skin crawl, and just thinking about being in the house she was trapped in makes her want to explode. And the other symptoms of withdrawing from family and friends she fit into. She hadn't visited her family since she moved back to the city. Her parents had moved about a half hour outside the would like to say she doesn't know why, but she does. Embarrassment is the biggest reason. The man advised her to spend time with family and try to get into a routine of it. And lastly, unable to work. She hadn't had a big problem with working until she started the new medicine, but he confirmed that, that was a large factor.

And then he explained the intrusions. Intrusive thoughts or memories of the traumatic event; flashbacks (in which people feel they are reliving the event with great intensity); and nightmares. He let her know that sometimes people will make sure they wake themselves up to avoid nightmares, which Chloe doesn't do. She rarely has nightmares, and when she does it's the same damn one. And it's him burning her neck. She can practically feel the burning sensation upon her, and since it's a dream, she has no control. She explained that to him and he confirmed that she does indeed have the intrusive thoughts. Which she was slightly confused on because she doesn't have flashbacks.

Apparently, each symptom is measured differently. It's all sorts of confusing.

The very last one he explained was hypoarousal. A sense of being numb, not feeling, (sometimes not smelling or tasting) having a sense of "unreality" or amnesia about the event or in general; being spaced out a lot. Conversation problems can also be a symptom of hypoarousal. People can be tense and agitated at the same time as they feel numb inside.

Chloe didn't fit into the category beside having conversation problems and occasionally feeling numb to life. Even though she fit into each category in some aspects, she doesn't actually have it. So, she didn't have hyperarousal or hypoarousal. Chloe had the avoidance and intrusive thoughts.

After he was done explaining the scale, he asked, "Do you drink alcohol, smoke or do any drugs?"

Chloe shook her head, "I don't."

"Good. That's good, because many people can be so distressed that the turn to alcohol, smoking or drugs. And that's just adds to the issues."

"Yeah," Chloe began, "I, I've never really gotten the chance and I don't plan on becoming an alcoholic or druggie."

"I'm glad. This went well. You seem to really want to get over this problem and it's actually remarkable that you signed yourself up for this."

Chloe shyly smiled, "Thanks."

After the long session, Chloe walked out and down the hall to the front waiting room and saw Beca sitting there with two brown paper bags. She cracked a small smile and walked up.

"Hey, you. How'd it go?" Beca asked with concern laced in her voice.

Chloe smiled at the sweet worry, "Really good. It was interesting. He kind of talked a lot, but it was.. a good start."

"I'm glad," Beca stated.

Chloe nodded and looked down, "Why do you have two brown bags?"

Beca smirked, "I figured the first session deserved something special."

Beca stood up with the bags in her hand and began walking, so Chloe followed suit.

"You're not going to tell me where we're going, are you?" Chloe asked as the pair walked.

"Just follow me."

Chloe tried to keep the smile off her face, but she couldn't even try.

"Thank you for taking me. And just being there. It means a lot," Chloe stated.

Beca smiled at her, "Of course."

They continued to walk and once Beca knew they reached near their destination she said, "Were going to the park."

"I should've known," Chloe said.

The two walked into the park and Beca led them to one of the many little tables scattered around. Chloe sat down as Beca continued to stand.

"Close your eyes."

Chloe half smiled, "Why?"

"Just do it. It's a surprise."

Chloe closed her eyes. She heard what was assumed to be the paper bags being moved.

"Can I open them?" Chloe asked eagerly.

"Hold on," Beca said as she finally got everything out of the bags, "Go ahead."

Chloe opened them and laughed when she saw two pink boxes, what she assumed was cake.

"Okay, so you made me close my eyes just to see cake boxes?" Chloe asked.

Beca rolled her eyes playfully, "Open them. The one on your right first."

Chloe opened the first one and her heart skipped a beat when she read what the cake said. She looked up to Beca and covered her open mouth. For a moment she wasn't sure what was happening and so she read it over again.

'Will you be my girlfriend?' written in pink icing.

Chloe only sat with her mouth slightly agape and her hand barely covering it. Beca started to get worried that finally asking Chloe really wasn't a good idea.

"Are you serious?" Chloe asked a growing smile.

Beca nodded, "Open the other one," she continued to stand nervously.

Chloe did so and there were four different cookies in heart shapes. They said, yes, yes, yes, and yes with red icing.

Chloe continued to stare down. Going from the pretty pink iced cake, to the nicely decorated cookies. For a moment, she forgot what was happening. She looked back at the cookies and laughed when she read them. It was almost as if everything clicked in that moment. She picked up one of the 'yes' ones and smiled up at Beca shyly.

"You have to put it in the cake. There's a heart cut out," Beca said, feeling much more confident.

Chloe's face softened, she set the cookie in the cut out and bit her lip through a smile.

"You are the queen of cliche, Becs," Chloe said as she stood up and grabbed Beca by the back of her neck and kissed her. Not even caring one bit they were in the middle of Central Park.

"I thought you were going to say no," Beca breathed out.

Chloe smiled and ran her hand down Beca's neck, placing it on the front of Beca's coat, "How could I say no to that?"

"So, yes?"

Chloe smiled wide, "Yes."

Beca smiled and kissed her again.

"I can eat the cake, right?" Chloe asked once she pulled apart.

Beca laughed, "Yeah, go ahead. It's for you, after all."

Chloe smiled, "I love you," she said as she once again kissed Beca.

After the two ate bits and pieces of the cake and cookies, they packed it up and walked back to Chloe's apartment. They walked inside and were bombarded by Peanut jumping up and down as he yelped.

"Okay, okay," Chloe said as she picked him up, "Quit it."

Beca walked into the kitchen to put the boxes down and started laughing as she saw puddles of urine.

"Chlo, it doesn't seem like Peanuts doing doing very well with.. going to the bathroom," she said as she set the boxes down.

Chloe walked in with Peanut in her hands and looked at the mess, "I know," she said as she set him down. She began to clean it up as Beca slouched against the counter.

"Whenever I'm here he always goes where he's told, but if I'm gone he doesn't."

Beca nodded, "He probably gets scared."

Chloe finished cleaning up the mess. She stood back up and Peanut almost made her trip as he came trotting back over, "I swear, he's going to kill me."

Beca had an amused smile on her face, "I think he just really loves you."

Chloe laughed and picked him back up. She kissed his head, "You think so?"

Beca pushed herself off the counter and walked over to Chloe. Peanut starting wiggling in her arms, so Chloe once again set him down.

"It's hard not to love you," Beca stated.

Chloe half smiled, "You love me so much.. It's weird."

"Is it?" Beca asked, playing along.

"A little," Chloe said, "but I love you so much, so it's not that weird."

Beca laughed as she hoisted Chloe up, making the red head wrap her legs around her own waist, as her arms snaked around Beca's neck.

"You're strong," Chloe stated.

Beca began walking out to the sofa, "Very," she said smugly.

Chloe lowered her head to Beca's ear, "You being so strong is kind of a turn on."

And thank God that Beca had just reached the back of the couch, because once she heard Chloe's hot breath tickle her ear and the words following suit, she felt her stomach flutter as her legs became jello.

"Oh, yeah?" Beca said once she regained her composure.

Chloe nodded and began to play with the small tendrils capering Beca's neck, making her shudder at the lingering touch.

Beca looked at Chloe as Chloe looked at Beca. Their eyes said everything that needed to be spoken. Beca leaned in as Chloe did, they each took extra long to get to their destination. Just taking each other in. Observing each and every aspect of each other's faces.

"I never tell you how beautiful I think you are," Chloe murmured against Beca's lips, "or how much I really love you. How in love with you I am," she said quietly as she ran her thumb over Beca's cheek, "or how much I really appreciate everything you've done for me. Or how lucky I feel that you're not just my girlfriend now, but my best-friend."

Beca smiled softly, she lowered her grip on Chloe's back. Chloe sucked in a breath and tightened her loose legs around Beca's waist, their bodies becoming closer. Beca slowly pressed her lips to Chloe's. It was unhurried yet poignant. Soft, slow and steady, it was everything and anything wrapped up into a small kiss.

"You smell like vanilla," Chloe breathed out onto Beca's lips.

"Yeah, you smell like hospital."

Chloe chuckled, "Should I shower?"

"If you want. I can order us food while you shower?"

Chloe nodded and Beca backed away, letting Chloe hop off the back of the couch and scurry off into the bathroom.

"Beca! Seriously?"

Beca smiled, "Seriously."

Chloe groaned playfully, "Please?"

"You know what you have to do."

Chloe's lips tugged into a small smile, "I don't want to."

Beca shrugged, "Then the last piece of pizza is mine."

"Oh, come on! I've never even been hit on before. How am I supposed to know the worst pick up line?"

Beca smirked, "Sure you have, Chlo. Just tell me, already and you can have the last piece."

Chloe shifted, "Fine," she lowered her voice, "Hey, baby. My names Peter Pan, cause I can take you to Neverland."

Beca laughed, then Chloe followed suit soon after.

"That was bad," Beca said.

Chloe playfully pouted, "That was me picking you up."

Beca leaned forward, "Oh, it did the trick," she said before pressing her lips to Chloe's. What was meant to be a chaste kiss, turned into a heated one as Chloe pulled Beca down on top of her. Beca slowed it down soon, propping herself up on her elbows, she pressed small kisses to Chloe's lips, before pulling back.

"I want.. I want you to kiss me.. and don't stop," Chloe whispered breathily.

Beca's mouth parted and she looked into Chloe's eyes skeptically. The red head could tell Beca was contemplating her words. She traced her fingers along Beca's jaw, "It's okay."

Chloe was nervous, she was understandably worried. But, she wanted to finally share this intimate moment with Beca. She wanted Beca in every way possible and this was something she was aching for.

"Are you sure?" Beca asked.

Chloe nodded and let her hands cup Beca's cheeks, "I'm sure. I love you, and I want you."

Beca leaned back in, closing the gap. She continued to prop herself up, now resting one hand on Chloe's side, running it along her ribs as the red head had her hands rested around Beca's neck gently. The kiss broke and Beca sat up, pulling Chloe with her, "We're going to go slow, okay?"

Chloe nodded, and let her hands roam to Beca's shirt, timidly she lifted it, making Beca raise her arms, as she took it off. Chloe stared at the bra clad chest for a moment before feeling Beca's hands on her own shirt, she let the brunette take it off of her.

Chloe's seen Beca in a bra once before, but something about this time around was driving her crazy. And Beca was feeling the same. They each took each other in for a moment, before Chloe leaned Beca away from her, having her back hit the back of the sofa, to Beca's surprise, Chloe straddled her. Beca smiled and gripped Chloe's back, holding her up right.

Chloe placed her hands on Beca's shoulders, then ran her hands down the front of her chest. When she reached Beca's breasts, she very hesitantly cupped her through the bra. Beca's breath slightly hitched, looking up at Chloe she saw the girls mouth parted, with her eyes boring down. Beca set her hands on Chloe's thighs, then ran her fingers up Chloe's stomach. She took in the beauty of Chloe that was sitting before her, now back to gripping her back, before she leaned forward, pressing kisses to the exposed skin of her stomach. Chloe's breathing sped up, she felt the kisses caper down, then back up. They became wetter and Chloe let out a whimper once Beca kissed the area right under her bra. She lifted Beca's head up and their eyes met, Beca decided to lay Chloe down, so she shifted them, not once breaking eye contact, she softly made Chloe's body come in contact with the couch again.

They kissed, slowly at first, then it became hungry and Beca pushed her hips down into Chloe's, not even knowing where she was going with this or how she was going to go. Just knowing she needed some friction. Chloe whimpered into Beca's mouth at the sudden contact, rising her hips to meet the brunettes. The kiss broke and Beca gave Chloe a small, reassuring smile.

"Could you, can you.. go down more?" Chloe mumbled.

Beca chuckled, "Go down..?"

Chloe's face went red, "You don't have to."

Beca kissed Chloe's forehead, then her nose, before kissing her cheek then whispering, "I was kidding," she began to kiss down Chloe's jaw, earning little whimpers each time she kissed a new area of her neck. The brunette sucked on Chloe's pulse point for a minute, earning a moan. The first moan she had ever heard from Chloe. It made her insides twist and her heart beat rise. She kissed her collarbone, nipping gently, then went back up Chloe's neck slowly, earning a disproving groan.

"Stay down," Chloe mumbled with her eyes closed and her stomach rising out of time.

Beca chuckled at the urgency and admired her for a moment, "You are so perfect."

Chloe smiled, "Now go. Please?"

Beca slowly kissed her, drawing it out as much as she could. Using her tongue to convey the passion. She pulled apart, immediately kissing down her chest.

Chloe breathed out once she felt Beca's lips kissing her breast. Beca continued to kiss the skin of Chloe's breast, as she cupped one, letting her other hand roam around her ribs. Chloe let out another whimper when she felt Beca's tongue make small circles on the exposed area of her breasts.

"Lower. Go lower," Chloe said as her eyes fluttered closed.

Beca complied, she kissed down her stomach, making sure she worshiped the area. Running her fingers over the hot skin, she swirled her tongue around a few times. She got to the hem of Chloe's pants and began to leave wet, hot kisses tracing the line. Chloe involuntarily moaned, flinging one arm off the couch as one hand thread through Beca's hair. The girl continued to torture Chloe with those searing kisses, when she heard Chloe breathe out her name with an exasperated breath. Something spurred in her. The way her name rolled off Chloe's tongue meant something. And she knew she wanted her name in Chloe's mouth forever.

Beca popped the button of Chloe's pants, "Is this okay?"

Chloe looked down at Beca, "Yes."

The brunette began to unzip Chloe's pants, when the front door flung open. Chloe shot up, kneeing Beca in the face.

"Fuck!" The brunette hissed.

"What the hell?"

Chloe looked towards the door, then back at her wincing girlfriend, "I'm sorry," she said to both of them.

Beca continued to cover her face as Amy walked over. Chloe sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth, not knowing what to say.

"You guys are sooo a couple, aren't you?"

They nodded and Amy laughed, "Called it. I knew it. I knew it," she said over and over again, not even phased of the state the two were in.

"Sorry I interrupted, but you two really should try your sexapades in private next time," Amy stated, then walked away.

Chloe scooted over to Beca, "I am so sorry. Here, uncover your face."

Beca did, wincing as she did so. Chloe sighed a breath of relief, "No blood, thank God. I am so sorry, Beca. I didn't mean to."

Beca chuckled, "I know. It's okay. I just need an ice pack or something and I'll be okay."

Chloe nodded and looked down, "I guess we'll save this for another time?"

Beca nodded, "Maybe it's a good thing? This was kinda rushed. I'll plan it out more. We can have a nice dinner or something?"

Chloe smiled, "Yeah, okay."

Beca nodded and took Chloe's hand into her own, "I still love you."

Chloe giggled, "I still love you, too."

"Now, get me that ice pack,"she said as she pecked Chloe's lips, "my nose is burning from your bony knee." Beca said playfully.

Chloe grabbed her shirt, putting it on and threw Beca hers and she buttoned her pants, "Right away," she pressed a chaste kiss to Beca's lips before leaning into her ear, "You're really sexy when you use your tongue like that. I can't wait to see what else you can do."

Beca's mouth fell open at the words, then watched as Chloe sauntered into the kitchen. She leaned back and groaned slightly, "Why did Amy have to come home?"