CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
"Bella." Angela smiled. "Wow…we've…missed you around here."
"Hi…I…yeah…" I didn't know what to respond with. "Where are the kids?"
"Inside with Alice. I was just going to the van to get Stephanie's jacket."
"Oh…well…hey…I actually came here to see you."
I was here to see her, but I also can't deny that I wanted to come here for other reasons as well. However, I had envisioned something different. I had hoped that I would have made it through the front door at the very least. Damn me and my noncommittal mind.
"Really? What's up?"
"Um…" I looked around and tried to remain discreet.
"He's not here tonight…if that's what you're worried about."
"What are you talking about?" I tried to act uninterested.
She stood there giving me that all-knowing motherly look. "Really Bella…you two…are like the star crossed lovers who can't get their shit together biggest story in Los Angeles right now. Edward has been running his free food truck on Saturday nights. I think he was headed out to Long Beach tonight."
"Food truck? He…did it then? He actually went through with that plan?"
"A free food truck that is run on donations? Yeah…he did it." She replied. "It's all the buzz…he cooks with a lot more flavor, so people will even pay for it."
"I just thought that was all a bunch of crap he made up to…add to his pile of lies." I shook my head, "Anyway, I don't care about Edward Cullen…I…never did."
"Sure. Whatever." She dismissed. "So how can I help you?"
"Well…are you still working at McDonald's?"
"Yep. They just promoted me to shift manager. I got a dollar raise and everything." She replied with faked enthusiasm.
"How would you like to come work for me…I mean for Swan Enterprises?"
She furrowed her brow and shook her head. "I don't know anything about investments."
"It's not an investment job. I want you to head up our charitable contributions department. You would be in charge of a staff that would determine the amounts to send to various charities and in addition any fundraisers the company throws. I want someone who I know will make sure that the money is spent wisely and sent to the right places…including here." I looked up at the Horizon's sign. "Children should always get a full serving of fruits and vegetables and you would have the ability to ensure that happens."
"I would…be able to do that and still maintain a decent hourly wage?" she asked cautiously.
"I think starting salary is sixty thousand a year, but that's negotiable if you would want more. Plus, Swan Enterprises has a great home owner deal that helps out employees, if you wanted to take advantage of that, and in addition your normal benefits…health, 401k, vision…dental."
"Oh my god…are you for real?" She started shaking and trying to hold back.
"I want someone who can make a difference and, with your background, I know you're the right person for the job. So…what do you say?"
It took a minute to sink in. She appraised me, almost waiting for me to tell her I was joking. However, when I didn't, she began to cry uncontrollably and, admittedly, I felt quite awkward at first. The awkwardness continued when she flung her arms around me and squeezed the living daylights out of me. It took me a moment to relax and then I couldn't help but tear up a little seeing her. It was the first time in my life I felt genuinely good about something I had done.
"YES! God, yes!" she cried over and over. People leaving for the night probably thought we were crazy as they passed.
"Bella…you don't know what this means…what this can do…my kids…you just…saved our lives." She gasped.
I gave her a small smile in response. What could I ever say to something like that without sounding condescending? I didn't want to ruin this moment so I said nothing at all. It was a real minute of personal reflection. This job was going to pay sixty thousand over the course of a year and she was happy and thankful for it. I used to have a credit card with a hundred thousand dollar limit and even then, when I went over it, it was all paid for. But this job meant a whole new life for Angela and her kids, and I finally understood what my grandfather had been trying to tell me all those times.
"Bella…you have to come in. You have to be there when I tell the kids."
"Oh…no…I can't…I…I just wanted to help." I started to back off from the doors. "You come down to the offices tomorrow and I will be there to walk you through. Get your HR paperwork all filled out and also some kind of advancement so you all can move to a hotel until you can find a new place to live."
"Bella. Please come in. I don't know what really happened between you and Edward but…he's not here, and this may sound crazy but this place hasn't been the same and I know that Alice and everyone would just love to see you." She took a hold of my hand, "Please."
"I don't know…what Alice did…everyone knew about Edward but me. It still hurts. I'm still angry…"
"But wouldn't it be less painful if you could just find forgiveness?"
Suck the poison out.
I stood there contemplating if I was ready to do this. Weighing all of my feelings took time, apparently a tad too much time because, finally, Angela took control and began to pull me toward the building.
"Angela." I protested.
"You did something great for me…now it's time I did something for you."
With her great determination, that would certainly be an asset to Swan Enterprises later on, she pulled me through the very doors to the place that, not long ago, I loathed.
It was quiet, as most of the people had gone for the night. I looked around at the kitchen and, for once, I didn't feel out of place, I felt a unique sense of normalcy. Like it had been any other day and I should go over to my mop bucket and begin scrubbing down the floors.
Inside, Rosalie and Emmett were already wiping down tables and trays. Angela's kids were sitting at a table and drawing and as we entered Angela didn't even have to say one word before all eyes were upon us.
"Just make sure to not tell your mom that I'm giving you this extra scoop."
I looked over to see Alice emerge from the back of the kitchen with a bucket of ice cream in her arms. She stopped in her spot seeing me.
"Bella." She acknowledged softly.
"You'll never believe what just happened. Bella offered me a job…a real job. I'm going to be helping with charities…and…we can afford a house…no more smelling of fish filets…no more van…" Angela trailed off, sensing the tension.
Both Emmett and Rosalie had placed down their cleaning products and stood in their spot, unsure of what to do next.
"So…I give out a whole banana to two kids and I'm a bad guy. Something nutritious. But you have extra ice cream and you own the place but, just remember Alice, you give more to one and then they'll all want more." I shook my head dubiously.
"Even I make mistakes…" She replied softly.
"Of course you do. You lie and hurt people….it must run in the family."
I don't know why I was being so combative, but just seeing her and all of them made me feel hurt all over again.
"Okay…um, kids…lets go finish the ice cream in the kitchen." Angela picked up her kids' plates and shooed them off toward the swinging doors to the kitchen.
"You know, you weren't the only one hurt, Bella." Great, now the blonde one had to throw her last cents in. "Yes, we lied but…have you ever even stopped to think how this effected our family as well? What you meant to Edward….all of us?"
"Rosalie." Alice dismissed.
"No. She should know." Rosalie argued. "He told you that he loves you and yet have you once thought about that? Can you really dismiss him and his feelings so easily? Yes, we lied to you and we're really sorry about that. We knew all about Edward's real identity, but it didn't mean that you knew him any less because he told you he was Edward Masen and not Edward Cullen. We lied to you but…how can you lie to yourself, Bella?"
"Do you even hear yourself, blond…Rosalie? I don't know anything about Edward Cullen. The man I knew was a homeless, self-righteous, amazingly stubborn, and an antagonistic person. He…made me believe in…" I stopped for a second, catching myself from going any further, "…everything was just one big lie so that he could write some big important piece for his newspaper."
"A newspaper he gave up for you!" she yelled.
"After he told the world about how disgusting he thought I was." I fought back.
"All right, would you all just shut up!" Alice screamed.
I wanted to start yelling at Alice but, seeing her look as miserable as she did, I couldn't. Jasper had appeared finally, but I could see him and Emmett hold themselves back; this was obviously a fight for the womenfolk.
"Bella." She sighed. "I didn't know….I didn't know I was going to…fall in love with you….to see you as not just a good friend but as also…a sister. Edward came to me and asked me not to divulge his true identity and, of course, because he is my brother, I said yes. But…then…we became more than just acquaintances and I wanted to tell you….I begged Edward to just tell you now before you got hurt more than you already did. I never stopped being your friend. I didn't laugh at you behind your back or make fun of the fact that you hadn't figured it out like you think. My brother was an idiot but I…I'm a bigger idiot, because I should have just come clean and maybe we could have avoided all this…but…can you honestly tell me that if…I had told you, that you'd be happy right now? Would you have not kicked us all out of your life knowing that truth? Because I think you wouldn't have given us a chance and, at least this way, we got to spend more time with you."
I stood there in silence looking at them. I wanted to throw things…some kind of tantrum was all that was racing through my mind, but how pathetic would that be? So instead, I just stood there thinking over the past few months.
"Your brother called me a mistake." I softly reminded her.
"My brother is an idiot. I think that is something we all can agree on here." Alice looked around and I could see some emphatic head nods.
"But…" She started once more, "I don't believe he ever thought of you as a mistake…I think…that he…was just the absolute worst at comprehending a situation, and you were just an innocent bystander to his stupidity."
"I'm not ready to…forgive him. I don't want to see him…have I thought about my feelings for Edward? Of course not, Rosalie. When I think about how I felt about Edward…how I saw some…thing for us and then…he just…threw me away so easily, if I think about those feelings, that's when I feel weak. I can't felt weak again…I won't."
I sighed and looked around one last time. How long I had waited to say goodbye to this place, to finally be done with it, and now all that remains is sorrow and hollowness.
"I think you should…give those feelings another chance. You both have worked so hard…much harder than most, to have what you have. Everyone can see what you meant to him and what he means to you. It's Christmas, Bella…don't you want to believe in some…miracle. What could possibly be better than to give the gift of forgiveness?" Rosalie replied.
I looked around at all of them. Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice. I could almost picture what my future could have been like if Edward would have just told me the truth. I would have friends…I could have had a family. I could picture Edward dressed in nice black suit, standing at the end of an aisle, while I walked toward him. I could picture Christmas' with these people as we all sit around a tree like some Norman Rockwell picture.
"You're right. I forgive you." I whispered, looking at each one of them. "Merry Christmas."
And that was it. With a heavy heart for a future I could picture but never have, I left Horizons.
Fluff n' Fold wasn't bad company. I'm sure she could make a proper replacement for human beings. Plus, with school starting soon, I'm sure I could have friends by the butt loads. That was worrisome. Most of the people I would be in school with were going to be five years younger than I. Five years! How did I get so old so fast?
I pulled my cat closer to me and she let out a meow.
"I don't need any friends, right Fluffster?"
I could finally talk aloud and not look so crazy. At last I had gotten everything I wanted. I wanted to be a cat woman and now I was. Just me and my fluffy kitty…which caused my brother some problems when I asked him a couple of nights back to set a dish for Fluff n' Fold come Christmas eve.
"Bella, I am not setting a place at the table for your cat. I want you to meet Emily that night and I really don't want to have to explain my…crazy sister to her."
"Crazy? I am not crazy…it's my cat, Michael, and I wasn't asking you to set a place at the table, just merely on the floor near where we will be eating. I'll bring her special dietary meal with me."
"I really like this girl, Bella, and with our father…whatever. I just don't need to give her one more reason for questioning the possible genetic material future…failures that this family seems to suffer from."
"First of all, if she does think I'm crazy then…blame it on my father's side. Tell her that my father was institutionalized."
"Like Shawshank?" he asked.
"Like…One Floo Over…so, technically, I am not part of the genetic failure unless you really want to blame mom, our poor beloved cancer riddled mother who died. What kind of a son would you be to blame her?"
"Bring the damn cat, if you must." He huffed.
Christmas Eve came one week later, and I just wanted the stupid holiday to be over with so I could look forward to school. I was going to audit a psychology course come the beginning of January and I couldn't be more excited…and scared.
My house was finally unpacked, for the most part. I had just two more boxes to go through and, with my television finally all set up, I was able to pick right back up with my Kardashians. The last thing I wanted to take the time to do was to arrange my brand new work desk.
I had set a broad sturdy oak desk in front of my window that overlooked my garden. I had hoped it would bring me peace when I was struggling with concepts. I made an extra special trip to Office Max to find all the necessary supplies for my desk. I had new pens and highlighters. There was a perfect spot for my printer below and now all I needed was something personal to place upon it to christen it. I dug through the last couple boxes hoping to find just the thing.
However my last house was not riddled with personal touches or memories, so the first box left me empty. The second box caused my heart to stop as I finally saw the Oxford Dictionary that Edward had given me on top.
"I thought it could sit on your desk when you matriculated there. Never know when it could come in handy. There are a lot of really important things in that book."
Edward's voice from the past caused me to back up slowly to find a place to sit upon my desk chair. I ran my fingers over the lettering and, for a moment, pictured the book sitting on my desk. But would I really want that kind of reminder sitting there in front of me for years to come?
I had spent five years in my old house and had nothing to show for it. No memories or silly little mementos and yet Edward, who had stayed just a few days, had left me one. My fingers played absently with the pages until I finally made up my mind to see the book physically sit upon my desk. So I set it up on the edge and marveled at how perfect it looked with it.
I took a breath and sat back in my chair, proud that I had finally finished my desk. It was two seconds in to my admiring when the Oxford book took a tumble and landed on the floor. I swear, for a second, I wondered if I had a ghost in my room.
"Don't be stupid, Bella. It…just needs a book end is all." I exhaled and reached down to pick the book back up and out slide a piece of paper. Our friendship contract. I looked it over and shook my head at the absurdity of it, and yet it saddened me as well. I turned the paper over and there, on the top left corner, was printed in the perfect font, Edward M. Cullen.
"It's just the last page. Nothing interesting is ever on the last page."
Damn you, Cullen! It was right there all along, the truth written out plainly for me to see.
I held the book in my hands and flipped to the last page, because I wanted to see the page put back where it belonged, but as I was flipping I noticed that the book had been highlighted an awful amount of times. This must have been Edward's book when he went to college, I imagined.
My fingers halted on a page and I looked at a highlighted word.
Reparation. Noun. 1. A repairing or keeping in repair. 2. The act of making amends, offering expiation, or giving satisfaction for wrong or injury.
Seemed like an odd word to highlight. I flipped on and stopped when I saw another highlighted portion in the "S" section.
Sorry. Adjective: feeling sorrow or regret.
Okay, clearly Edward was intelligent enough to not need to know the meaning of "sorry." Why in the hell would he highlight such a thing? I continued to go back toward the beginning of the book and there were dozens of words.
Amends.
Apology.
Compassion.
Confession.
Future.
Grace.
Hope.
Mercy.
Need.
Please.
Truth.
And of course, forgiveness.
"Forgiveness. Noun: The action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. Example; funny how we really learn to forgive when we need forgiveness ourselves."
Of course he would have to highlight that word. The word that plagued me these days. Why did this book seem to be highlighted for my benefit? Edward didn't know how to tell me the truth, so he spent his days at my house highlighting my peace-offering.
I placed the book down on my desk still open, like it was the Never Ending Story and I was afraid of what would happen when it ended. It was Christmas Eve and, if I had just found the forgiveness that Mr. Cullen highlighted, my cold dead heart might beat once more.
God, why was I tearing up at this? How could a stupid…dictionary make me feel so despondent? I sniffled, readying myself to close the book but my fingers couldn't find the reason to. A couple of pages I flipped through, and I couldn't stop searching for highlighted words.
Love.
I stared down at the offensive bright yellow ink and willed myself to not read the definition, but I lost that battle.
"Love." I whispered. "Noun; An intense feeling of deep affection. Example: We were slowly falling in love."
I shook my head and that simple highlighted word made me angry.
"Love?" I huffed.
"Love!" I yelled.
I picked up the book and threw it at the wall causing Fluff n' Fold to go diving for the underside of my bed.
"I can never be happy until I can find forgiveness, but how can I find forgiveness when I'm just so…angry? Am I just supposed to forget about it all? Forget the nasty things he wrote? Forget how he made me fall for a lie?"
I don't know who I was shouting at, but I'd like to think that maybe my grandfather could hear me. Hear how useless his parting advice was.
It was Christmas Eve. In just a few short hours, I was required to be over at my brother's house to meet his girlfriend. I would eat ham, Fluff n' Fold would have her gourmet chicken dinner from the can, and then Christmas day would come and go and I would be all alone, hopefully free from thoughts of love and forgiveness.
I looked down at the Oxford book, a little worse for wear now. Still angry and still without an answer that I needed. I fought internally with myself one more time before snatching up the stupid book and storming out of my house.
This will be the last time.
I kept repeating it over and over again as I made my way toward my destination.
This will be the last time.
I was hardly dressed for the cool temperatures that California was putting out this holiday season, but my mind didn't seem to think about that before I left the house. My car skidded to a halt in front of the dingy yellow building with the bold Horizons lettering on top. I grabbed the book and, this time, I didn't stop to think about whether or not I should enter the building.
The place was packed and it finally occurred to me that this was one of the soup kitchen's biggest nights. Just seeing all the people had pulled me to a stop and calmed me down a smidge. No need to scare them with my craziness.
I maneuvered myself through the throngs of people until I found Alice.
"Bella!" She cheered, upon seeing me.
"Is he here?" I snapped.
"Uh…who?" She cringed.
I gave her a short look and she sighed, "In the kitchen…but could you please not kill him around the food pans. We have way more people than last year and will need every bit."
I rolled my eyes, irritated that she had a point. My finer moments at the kitchen usually occurred when I would needlessly waste the food. I pushed my way back behind the counter and through the swinging door.
And there he was.
Edward Cullen.
I had not seen him since my press conference and now here he was. He had just finished pulling out a pan from the oven when he finally noticed me.
"Bella." He whispered.
I shook my head at him slowly, still angered from before.
He set the tray down and, at the first moment, I threw the dictionary at him. He easily caught it before it could do any real damage.
"What do you know about love?" I asked. "You had a fucking definition at your fingertips and still have no concept."
He looked confused.
"I know you must have highlighted that book before you decided to screw me over so Edward Cullen…what do you know about love, because it's obvious you didn't quite get the meaning."
Edward stood there staring at me with his mouth slightly ajar.
"Well? Aren't you going to answer me?" I demanded, trying to hold myself together.
"I…I have missed seeing you." He exhaled, "You're here. You're…really here?"
"Of course I'm here. I'm here because I'm angry at you. I'm here because someone told me that I could never be happy until I forgive you, but I don't want to forgive you. No matter how many definitions you throw at me of apology and mercy…I don't want to forgive you."
"That's okay….you don't have to. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness."
"No, it's not okay. I'm the one who is plagued by it. You get to go on with your life, happy as a clam. What's it to you if I never forgive you?" I snapped.
"You think I'm happy?" Edward's eyes finally lit up, "Bella…I'm not happy. I think about you every god dammed day and how I…I fucked this up. I am miserable."
"No, no, no. You don't get to take credit for being more unhappy than I am. I had feelings for you long before you and your little highlighter marked up my peace-offering. My feelings were at least genuine. I fell for you regardless of your displaced situation. You couldn't even be honest with me on the most basic thing. So again, I ask you, what do you know about love? Someone in love would never have done the things that you did for such silly reasoning. Jacob Black. Really Edward?"
He stood there, staring once again. He slowly shook his head and ran his fingers through his messy hair, "I don't know what it is you want to hear from me, Bella…but I'm not going to lie to you anymore. So…if you came here to hear me say that I don't love you…it's not going to happen. I fell for you and I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life…and I was stupid. I let my…past with Jacob Black ruin my future. If it had been any other celebrity, I would like to think this would have turned out differently but…of course it had to be Jacob. Seeing you with him…made me incredibly angry. I was angry at you for being so…stupid. How could you just eat up everything he was telling you? How could you not forget that this was the man who ran past you when you were hurt? How do you get into a car with a man who put a girl…a child, practically, into the hospital? You can be angry with me for the rest of your life but…I'm angry at you too."
"What was I supposed to do? Jacob…he…made me feel wanted. After you bailed on me…running out of the house like my vagina had cursed you. What was I supposed to think? I was a mistake…I was nothing more to you then a mistake. I had finally experienced something real with someone and he called me a mistake." I cried.
"No…" He shook his head, "You were never a mistake. I…I wanted you so badly but…I didn't want you when I was drunk. I didn't want you when you still thought I was Edward Masen. I wanted our first time…to be transcendent, to be…the first and last…never a person to follow. I love you, Bella…I wanted to make love to you…not fuck you, because I was too drunk for it to mean anything else. I never wanted it to happen that way, and when I woke up…I was angry at myself for ruining what was supposed to be the best moment of my life."
He looked so sincere and I could tell that both of us were having trouble keeping up the fires of our anger to win out over the other.
"Best moment…" I scoffed.
"Don't belittle my best moment." He stated strongly.
I narrowed my eyes at him, preparing myself to continue to battle, but was having trouble finding an appealing argument.
I shook my head, "You and I…we never would have worked out anyway."
"Why would you think that?"
"We…fight all the time. Since I met you…hell our first interaction was a fight. What kind of relationship would that be? You can't be in a relationship with just fighting. We're both stubborn and both always think we're right. We would fail."
Edward placed the dictionary down on the counter and moved a little closer. I stepped back one pace, noting his advancement.
"I happen to think that we…don't fight…we are just passionately responsive. Besides, how boring of a relationship would we have if there was no fighting allowed?" He took another step forward.
"That's stupid. How can I be in a relationship with someone I can't even forgive? I can't even trust you. Tell you some dark secret and then you would just run off and tell the world."
"You and I both know that I don't do that anymore…I know my word isn't much, but I would never hurt you like that ever again. Tell me that you don't love me, Bella."
"I don't love you…I don't know really how I ever felt about you. I was just beginning to explore those feelings when you fucked up. I…I don't know how I feel, but how can there be love without trust?" I stepped back once more.
"Then…I'll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I'm trustworthy. I will…wait until you can find forgiveness for me. I will apologize every single day and never let you forget for one second why you and I are perfect for each other. Just give me that chance. Just one."
I finally reached the furthest I could go, my back hit the sink. My sink. I was cornered. Nowhere to run.
"I don't know if I can…I…" I stopped trying to shut my eyes tightly. "I…don't want to get hurt…you…I always knew you were dangerous for me."
"Bella…just give me a chance. I love you and I promise…no more lies. I am not homeless, but I am no different from the man you met. I am still Edward Masen. Why can't you see that? My hopes and my dreams haven't changed. My feelings for you haven't changed."
I stood there staring into his eyes while I made a decision that could change my life forever. I could see a hundred different ways that this could end badly. Everything about Edward and I seemed so wrong. We were nothing alike and yet the same too.
"You…really sucked at maintaining our whole basic friendship contract. The second party feels she was wronged and, according to that contract over there in that yellow highlighter soaked book, I own your ass. I believe I can do…whatever I…see fit to be…compensated."
Edward smiled out of the corner of his mouth. "I guess you're right. You can…own my ass…and anything else you wish."
He came closer, just mere inches from my face.
"You're…really not going to fuck with me, right? I mean…I…I…I will kill you Edward Cullen…Masen whatever the fuck your name is. I will…." I wanted to threaten him further but, instead, he shut my babbling up, pulling me into a kiss. I could feel the water from my sink seeping into my short navy skirt, but that kiss…oh that kiss was like finding a way to breathe again. Something I felt that I hadn't done in weeks.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, securing him in place. I didn't want it to end, because then more questions I feared would pop up into my head, asking me if I could really do this. I could hear cheering go on behind Edward and, for a second, it took me out of the moment, but Edward wouldn't let our audience ruin this for us as he pulled me closer and tangled his tongue with mine.
We had waited for so long and now we operated on pure instinct. I felt him grab my butt and lift to put me onto the sink. Our urges were taking over, but even Rosalie couldn't ruin this.
"Ew! How did that turn dirty so quickly?"
"Please…just….leave the food out of this. If you both could…." Alice tried. "Hello? Um…I said HELLO!"
"Lets…just not worry about the food for tonight. I'm sure they will be respectful of the hundreds of hungry people who are out there hoping for a nice Christmas dinner" Jasper tried to intervene.
"CHRISTMAS DINNER!" I exclaimed, pulling back from Edward and ending our moment. "Fuck me!"
I jumped down from my sink. "I'm sorry….I totally forgot about my brother's Christmas dinner."
I looked around, frenzied, for a clock to see the time.
"You should go." Alice replied.
"No…we…no…we just got back together. I don't want you to go." Edward grabbed onto my hand. He looked worried that me walking out of this kitchen would erase all that had happened in it.
"I have to go…it's really important to him. He…wants me to meet his new girlfriend." I sighed.
"Well then…how about he…meets your new boyfriend?" Edward asked.
I laughed. "No offense, but you're not my boyfriend. You are…on probation for the time being, and if you serve your time then maybe I will reconsider your position within my presence."
Edward picked up the dictionary and tossed it to me, "Then maybe you should be in charge of writing up the contract this time. Come on, Swan. You can dictate and I will write it up while we go and see your brother."
He started to push me out of the kitchen.
"You can't just leave the kitchen. You have people to feed." I commented.
"Food's done and there is no better place for me to be than by your side."
"You don't understand…my brother…he's not your biggest fan. I don't know if showing up with you, unannounced, is a good thing."
"Would you stop making excuses, Swan? I will meet your brother and tomorrow you can finally meet my family. Officially."
We arrived at the car and I huffed, smacking his hand away from my door handle.
"Let's get one thing clear. This new contract…if at any time I feel that you have breached it then I will…." I began to threaten, but he placed a finger over my lips before I could finish.
"Christmas is a time for miracles, Bella. Now would be a great moment for the miracle of peace. So…would you stop your complaining and just… get in the damn car."
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Fine." I snapped, "But I never agreed to meet your family."
I opened the car door and slid into the seat.
"What happened to the Mercedes?" Edward asked, sliding in next to me.
"I heard that this hybrid was more environmentally friendly. Plus, the Mercedes didn't really look right in my new garage."
"So you did move?" Edward asked. "I went…by your house so many times, but it never looked like there was anyone there."
"You did?" I asked softly.
"Of course I did. What, did you think I just tried to move on without even trying to find you? To beg…"
I nodded, "Well…yeah."
"Never Bella…I could never move on. I would…have nowhere to go if I did."
I smiled softly at his words and started up my car. Edward and I tried to rehash a new working contract for our confusing relationship that we were going to attempt on. Once again, something that would never hold up in a court of law. Some contract that I imagined both of us would fail at many times over, but the one clause I placed in, the honestly clause, was something Edward never failed me at again.
My brother was surprisingly excited to see Edward standing beside me rather than my cat. Our night turned out to be rather domestic. If that's what you could call rehashing some of the Swan family's finer moments the past week. I believed that both Emily and Edward must really love Michael and I, if they really wanted to be with us after hearing of our psycho family roots. Edward was rather shocked to hear all about the infamous Charles Swan.
After dinner was done, I made the decision to continue on the night with showing Edward my new home. I won't lie and say it was easy for me to welcome Edward into my home. For one, I really liked my new house and I was a tad worried that if this didn't work out then he would have tainted my perfect home. But…I needed to try to trust him if this was ever going to work, so with much trepidation I opened my front door and led him in.
"I like it. It's…much more homey." Edward announced.
"I know what you mean…I never had that with the last house and, for the first time, I can actually picture a future here. A…good one at that." I replied walking in toward the main room.
"So…" He started.
"So…" I replied awkwardly. "We…aren't going to…do anything tonight. Just so you know."
He smirked and gave a quick laugh.
"Of course not." He paused. "But…I could light a fire and maybe even you could handle making some hot cocoa."
"Hey…if you get a fresh start then why can't I?" I complained.
"Okay…Miss Swan. I am…completely ignorant to your kitchen plight. I will start a fire and be not amazed when you bring me a cup of hot steamy cocoa." He playfully replied.
I chewed on my lip for a second. "On second thought, how about we go back to what we both are good at? You in the kitchen and me on the couch."
I flopped into my big comfy couch and waited like the queen of Sheba. Edward shook his head and walked over to my smaller kitchen. He started to open up different cupboards searching out my new place for his supplies. It was nearly midnight and as I watched him look so natural in my kitchen, like he had been here before, like he would always be…it made me think of my grandfather.
"Edward…do you…think my grandfather will be proud of me? All my decisions...what I may become. Do you think I would have made him proud?"
Edward set the pot on the stove and looked over to me.
"I think…your grandfather was always proud of you and…he always will be. You have turned into quite a lady."
I do think he would have been happy with my decision of what I did with his company. I think he would have been proud of me finding the perfect person to run Swan Enterprises charities and I think he would have been proud of me for going back to school, even if I didn't know what I wanted to do yet, I know that my grandfather would be proud of me…someday. There was just one thing I knew he was waiting for.
"You think that having a house and clothes and a nice car is having everything in life? What about friends, Isabella? What about family? What about a boyfriend or a husband...children? What about the things that really matter."
"Edward…"
He waited for me to continue.
"I do love you…I…don't want to admit it because I'm scared." I stood up from the couch and slowly walked toward him, "What if this doesn't work? What if I end up even more miserable than I already am? I want to be happy but I'm terrified too…"
"Please don't cry, my love." He wiped my tear with his thumb and kissed the spot on my cheek where it had landed, "You and I will figure this out. We have…our whole lives to figure out being happy. I will tell you every single day how I love you. I will…apologize every single day for my past wrong doings. I will make it right. I promise, Bella."
I exhaled and nodded slowly, "I don't want you to apologize every single day. I…don't want my past to ruin my future. I forgive you, Edward. I'm…ready to forgive you."
And I meant it. I was ready to be happy. I was ready to forgive and forget in order to move on toward happiness. I wasn't naïve. I knew that happily ever afters aren't like the Disney films. You don't get your prince and get married and then have your happily ever after. Life doesn't work that way. You have ups and you have downs. Edward and I would encounter them all. There would be days I would want to kill him and days he would want to kill me but, even after the fighting ended and the smoke rose from our disaster, we would still have each other.
All of grandfather's lessons had finally been learned and that was the thing about the lottery of life, you sure could win it and be lucky enough to have it all but, as I've learned, it's what you do with your winnings that determine whether you really won at all.
-The End-
Now, of course, I couldn't leave you without telling you about how the next day went with meeting Edward's family. As you can imagine, we showed up to the Cullen Estate promptly by noon. True to my word, Edward and I were completely hanky panky free the night before. However, that didn't mean that we didn't want to spend our time with one another alone.
It was a perfect morning, with perfect pancakes, and I even managed to find a suitable outfit to wear when meeting the parents for the first time. Even now, I feel completely idiotic that it took me all the way to the front door of Edward's house to remember one small, tiny little thing.
"Oh shit on a stick…Carlisle Cullen." I skidded to a halt, causing my grip on Edward's hand to pull him back.
I trembled a smidge as I looked up at the tall oak door standing in front of me. Edward looked perplexed until it dawned on him as well. Suddenly, a viciously wicked grin graced his lips and he couldn't help himself.
"Oh…that's right. You once masturbated to pictures of my father. Won't that make for an interesting dinner topic?"
"Shut your mouth. Just shut your mouth." I demanded, trying to get him to close his trap before anyone heard. "Besides, I didn't really masturbate to pictures of him…a wet dream maybe, but that's as far as it ever went between me and your father."
"Me and your father what?" A voice from behind startled me as the door opened. I slowly turned and there he was, Senor Cullen. Thankfully not shirtless but hot damn he looked way better then any picture my laptop could produce.
"Father…mother. I am delighted to introduce you to…my girlfriend, Bella. Bella…these are my parents, Esme and Carlisle Cullen."
I awkwardly stepped back toward Edward, wondering if it would be too noticeable to just make a run for it. I took another step back and Edward placed an arm around my waist, halting me.
"It's so nice to finally meet you, Bella." The woman with the perfect copper hair stated.
It seemed to me that Edward didn't only win the lottery of life; he also managed to win the genetic lottery. These people were flawless.
"Uh…hi." I so intelligently replied.
"Well, come on in you two. We have all been waiting for you to open gifts." Senor Cullen stated.
He opened the door wider and Edward pushed me toward it.
"So…isn't he just positively dreamy, Bella." Edward mocked quietly in my ear.
I waited for his parents to be a safe distance away before threatening, "One word, Cullen, and I will castrate you and place your dick in a shrine of shirtless photos of your father, and then I will picture the lewdest of acts for eternity."
Edward playfully cupped his junk, "All right. All right. No need to get violent…or…lewd."
"The rest of the kids are back here in the family room." Esme announced.
"Great, mom!"
We walked on for what seemed like an eternity. This house made my old home and my father's home look like it was made out of Duplo's.
There was something that had been on my mind for quite awhile now, but I wasn't sure how to tell Edward. I now wished I had informed him earlier as I was about to make a complete ass out of myself.
"Uh…Sen…Mr. Cullen…Mrs. Cullen." I stopped them from going further.
"You can call us Carlisle and Esme, dear." Esme replied.
"Oh…well…okay."
Edward looked at me curiously.
"I don't know what Edward's…told you about me but, as he found out last night, recently I was alerted to the fact that my father…isn't really my father. I know that this is going to sound absolutely bonkers but…"
They all waited for me to find the courage to finish my question.
I looked directly at Carlisle and cringed.
"Bella, what is it?" Edward prompted me.
"Uh…well…uh…"
"You can ask me anything you wish, my dear." Carlisle replied.
"You didn't happen to sleep with another woman twenty-three years ago?"
"Bella." Edward admonished.
"Or…have a brother that…slept around… twenty-three years ago?" I cringed.
Edward laughed awkwardly, "Would you excuse us?"
He pushed me straight into another room that looked like a study.
"What is the matter with you? Why would you ever ask my father that?"
"Look, I don't know where I come from. Who knows who my real father is, but what if…it's someone you're related to? We can't be together if we are, unbeknownst to us, siblings. That's like…totally creepy."
"Bella, we are not related." He stated emphatically.
"But what if we are?"
"Trust me, god is not that cruel. He would not make us go through everything we have gone through to just…do that to us in the end."
I huffed and sat down on the leather couch with my arms folded across my chest.
Edward sighed and sat down next to me. "If…we were…not that we are, but if we were…I wouldn't give a damn. You are mine and that's all that matters."
"That's…gross." I cringed, "We had sex…you and I. You could have had drunkenly sexed up your half-sister…or cousin?."
"You're not my sister or cousin, but if it really bothers you that much…then we will go and get a DNA test. Okay?"
I sighed and looked over to him. He picked up my hand and kissed it.
"Would you stop recoiling from my touch?" he huffed.
I sighed, "So…does this…Playboy Mansion have a back exit we can escape through? I would like to go die now."
"Don't call my childhood home the Playboy Mansion. And…we are not escaping. We have a family of people to go and greet." He replied, standing up from the couch.
He held out a hand to me and I took it.
"And here I thought I was going to get to embarrass you." Edward smirked.
I smacked him on the chest. "Oh shove it."
He laughed and kissed my head.
"Hey, until we can determine that you and I are not related, there will be none of that, mister. I heard somewhere that over seventy percent of married couples are related so it's not so farfetched."
Edward rolled his eyes and pushed me on towards the door.
"No…fun whatsoever? Somehow, I think I'll be able to break you before that DNA test." He confidently stated.
"Don't make me refer back to our contract."
"Contract. Your little contract is so incredibly small compared to the contract I have in mind."
I furrowed my brow, wondering what the hell contract he was planning on writing next. We had our basic friendship contract and that was followed by the basic relationship contract…
I gasped as I looked back up at him. I started shaking my head.
"You can't be serious….no…I mean…no…we…no." I shook with fear.
"Calm your skirt. I wasn't planning on asking you to sign today." He replied, a tad offended.
I tried to calm my heart that was beating erratically in my chest. This was so not the moment to be discussing such matters.
"Now, put a move on it, little sister, before I tongue kiss you."
AN: Wow! Can't even begin to tell you how much I loved writing this story and I am very sad to see it come to an end.
Huge thank yous again to some very key people.
Robstenvampgirl for all your hard work with being a beta on the last few chapters...I wished I had you the whole way but I look forward to having many more story endeavors with you. You're awesome!
Fallingsnow Winter once again thank you for your amazing banner. It was my first and I am so incredibly honored for the time you spent making it!
I want to thank everyone who promoted this story. I hope I haven't let anyone down with this final chapter. Thank you for all the reviews and I look forward to hearing what you think of my next stories. As of right now, I started something new which I will probably post sometime next week, I believe the title will be Loathing You. I also have decided to do a short continuation of Lottery of Life called The Definition of Love but it will only be a few chapters long.
Once again thank you soo much for taking the time to read and take the extra time to review!