Chapter 19 - Tickle Fights

Chloe laid still next to an awake Beca. Her body was face down into the bed, as her head laid peacefully on the pillow. Beca was slightly laying on her side, with her left arm under her head. She was looking at Chloe with a small smile that she didn't even realize was on her face. She always noticed that when the redhead sleeps, she regularly tenses her face up, then relaxes it.

Beca wondered if she was having a bad dream when the action took place, but dismissed the thoughts when she saw Chloe's mouth part and her eyes slowly open. She rolled over on to her back and smacked her mouth together. Beca laughed, "Good morning."

"Hmmorning," Chloe slurred.

"You really aren't a morning person, are you?"

Chloe shook her head and rolled back onto her stomach, "Time is it?"

"Almost twelve, Chlo."

"Have you been laying here this whole time?" Chloe asked hoarsely.

"No, I got up to use the bathroom a couple times and I kind of got dressed."

Chloe chuckled groggily, "Oh."

Beca nodded. She was dying to know how Chloe felt about last night. Like, she wanted to know so bad it was eating at her brain. But, she didn't want to just shout out the question.

"So, last night.."

Chloe smiled, hiding her face in the pillow slightly, "Yes?"

"How do you.. uh, feel about it?" Beca asked timidly.

"Stop worrying," Chloe said, she smiled, "I don't regret it, if that's what you're worried about."

Beca nodded and let out a breath, "Thank God."

Chloe blushed, "Did you think I would?"

"I wasn't sure. I mean, you didn't seem that nervous and then I started to think that maybe you didn't want to after all, and I don't know.. I didn't want you to rush into something like that."

"Oh," Chloe nodded, "I was nervous at first. But, you kept asking if I was okay and everything you did was so gentle and it made me feel calmer."

Beca smiled, "I wanted it to be special. I wanted you to feel special."

"Everything about it was special," Chloe whispered.

Beca smiled, "Then you don't regret it?"

"I dont," Chloe said, "Not one bit."

"Good, okay. This is good," Beca said, more to herself.

Chloe laughed, "You're cute."

Beca blushed, "I know," she spoke, trying to play off her red cheeks.

"Shut up," Chloe mumbled, now digging her face back into the pillow.

Beca laughed, rolled onto her stomach and set her fingers on the exposed part of Chloe's back, it being the top. She trickled her fingers on the skin softly.

"I'm going to fall back asleep if you keep doing that," Chloe mumbled.

"Want me to stop?" Beca gently asked.

"Hmm, no."

Beca smiled as she continued the gesture.

"Are you ever going to tell me that dream of yours?"

Chloe's face flashed red, "Let's get up and eat. I'm hungry," Chloe began to get up, but felt Beca pulling her back, "I'm not letting you leave until you tell me the dream."

Chloe closed her eyes, and let her head fall on Beca's chest, "It's embarrassing," she mumbled.

"I bet it's not that bad," Beca stated.

"No, it's bad," Chloe reassured tightening the blankets around her body.

And then Chloe's felt finger tips dancing around her waist, her eyes shot wide open and she yelped, "Beca!" She felt them caper down and up, "Stop," she giggled.

"Tell me the dream," Beca kept tickling her, then suddenly Chloe gripped her arms, almost halting the dancing of Beca's fingers, but she managed to keep it up, "Beca! I'll tell you," she giggled, "Just stop!"

Beca came to a slow stop, now slowing her motions she gently ran her fingers over Chloe's hips.

Chloe took a breath, "I'll tell you, but you have to make me food."

Beca laughed, "Fine, princess."

Chloe faked gasped and swatted at Beca's arm that was tracing her hip bone. Beca smirked, "Okay, tell me."

Chloe sucked in a breath, tightening the blankets around her, "You were in it.. and you kind of, you were doing.. some uh, things to me," Chloe fumbled.

"Go on," Beca said, not seeming to be fazed.

Chloe sighed and closed her eyes, "We were in the shower and you went down on me," she rushed out.

Beca nodded, "Is that it?"

"That's it," Chloe said.

"That's not so bad," Beca said.

Chloe whined slightly, "It is," she duked her head in Beca's neck, "I'm sorry."

Beca laughed, "Chlo, there's nothing to be sorry about."

"It's just.. weird, isn't it?" Chloe mumbled.

Beca let her hand roam to Chloe's back, she then kissed her shoulder, "Not weird."

Beca felt Chloe's lips turn into a smile against her neck, and then she shot up suddenly. Beca being confused sat up, "What's wrong?"

"I almost forgot to take my pills,"

Beca nodded as she saw Chloe frantically throw her button up on and she struggled to get her underwear over her legs, then grab her purse, "Hey, calm down. It's okay," she cooed as she got out of bed.

Chloe shook her head at the words and opened the bottle, taking the two pills she needed out, "I need water," she walked out of the room and into the kitchen with Beca following. She got a glass of water and gulped it down, along with the pills.

"Better?" Beca asked.

Chloe nodded. Beca stepped forward so she was standing directly in front of Chloe. She looked at her dull eyes and frowned slightly. The circles under her eyes out weighed the blue, making them look dark.

"You slept for literally almost twelve hours and you still look like you're about to pass out," Beca stated.

"It's the medicine," Chloe mumbled.

Beca nodded, "You must be hungry."

"Starving."

Beca laughed, "I'll make you food."

"Well, that was the deal," Chloe said, crossing her arms over her chest, while looking at Beca expectingly.

"Wow, someone really likes sandwiches."

Chloe looked up, having the sandwich Beca made her still in her hands, with a mouthful she blushed.

"Too cute," Beca voiced.

Chloe swallowed the food as her cheeks were rosy, "Where did you learn to make such good sandwiches?"

Beca shrugged, "I'm just good at everything I do," she voiced.

Chloe pursed her lips at the smug words and took another bite. Some of the mustard from the sandwich being left on the corner of her mouth. Beca smirked and decided not to say anything. But Chloe noticed the sly smile and stopped eating, "I have something on my face, don't I?"

Beca shook her head, "No."

Chloe narrowed her eyes and wiped her mouth, "I have something on my face and you won't tell me. What kind of girlfriend do I have myself here?"

Girlfriend. Beca tried not to break out into a beaming smile hearing that. It's still crazy to her that Chloe is actually her girlfriend.

"A wonderful girlfriend that makes you the best sandwiches on this earth, my dear."

"Ah, I take that back then, my sandwich queen," Chloe quipped.

Beca smirked and then snorted at a memory, "Remember when you used to bring animal crackers to school everyday?"

Chloe smiled and her face softened, "Aw, yeah. Those things were my favorite."

Beca nodded, "Oh, I know. I remember when I took one from you and you smacked me across the face."

Chloe laughed, "Oh my God, I did not! You must've done something else to provoke my five year old self."

Beca opened her mouth in mock, "Are you calling me a liar?"

Chloe shrugged and began to clean up her mess. Beca smirked as she watched Chloe stand and throw the paper plate away. As Chloe walked back over to the table, Beca grabbed her by the front ties of her sweatpants, "I am not a liar."

Chloe giggled, "You lie like a rug."

"I do not," Beca stated, standing up so she was sort of face to face with Chloe, despite the small height difference.

"I'm telling you, Becs," Chloe began, setting her hands on Beca's, "You must've-" and then she felt Beca's hands creep up her shirt, then start to tickle her stomach, "Beca," she warned, which only got a large smirk.

"I'm not a lair," Beca stated, continuing to torture Chloe.

Chloe started giggling, swatting Beca's hands away, she began to break out of it, but was only pulled back. Beca pushed Chloe on the couch and began tickling her legs. Chloe had always been super ticklish on her knees.

"Beca!" Chloe yelped, swatting at Beca's hands.

"I'm not a liar," the brunette said once again.

Chloe bit her lip and kept giggling, "Okay! Okay!"

"Say it!"

"You're not a liar, Beca!"

Beca came to a halt, letting her hands creep up to Chloe's hips, "I may just have to tickle you every time I want something out of you."

Chloe took large breaths trying to compose herself, "Please don't."

Beca smirked, "You don't like when I tickle you?"

"Oh, I love it. So much, Beca," she deadpanned.

"In that case," Beca leaned back down, running her hands up Chloe's thighs.

Then there was a knock at the door, "You expecting someone?" Chloe asked.

Beca shook her head, she stood up and walked up to the door. Looking through the peephole, she froze. She looked back to Chloe, "Give me a minute," she opened the door and stepped outside, closing the door behind her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, Beca," Ethan Mitchell spoke.

"Seriously? Why are you here?"

"I just want to have a quick chat," Ethan stated.

Beca knitted her eyebrows, "You couldn't have called?"

"I wanted to talk to you in person" Ethan stated, "It's pretty big. Can I come inside?"

"No," Beca stated, crossing her arms, "Just tell me right here."

He huffed, "I'm getting married in June."

Beca's jaw hung, "What? Why? What the hell? You're like, fifty-five! Why are you getting married? What's the point? And in three months?"

"Beca, see, this is why I wanted to talk to you inside. I knew how you would react-"

Beca shook her head, "Is it with her? You're really going to marry her? Why now?"

"It's not," he began, "Its not Katharine. I don't know why you still refer to her as 'her'."

Beca scoffed, "What was I supposed to refer the women who my Dad cheated on my Mom with?"

Ethan sighed, "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Not a chance in hell," Beca hissed.

"Holding grudges is never a good thing," he voiced.

Beca held a tight lip as he began to speak again, "Anyway, her name is Emily. And she's really nice, she's.. younger and has a fifteen year old daughter."

"How young is she?"

He swayed his body, "Late thirties."

Beca nodded, "Where did you find her?"

"That doesn't really matter-"

"Uh, like hell it doesn't matter."

Ethan huffed, "We met on a blind date."

Beca chortled as she crossed her arms, "Wow."

He nodded, "You're invited. And you can bring someone if you'd like. I don't know if you're even dating or what."

Beca nodded and had a completely blank face. She was trying to push the overwhelming sadness she has rising through her away.

"Have you been talking to Chloe? Her parents have been asking me if I know anything," he paused, "They really want her to visit them."

Beca took a breath, "I have, yeah. We're," she contemplated telling him. If she lied and said their still friends, she knew everything would backfire at one point, "We're actually, uh, kind of.. together."

"Together?" He repeated, almost like he was trying to figure what the word ensued, "as in relationship?"

Beca nodded, "Yeah."

"Oh," Ethan said slowly, "Wow."

Beca swayed on her heels.

"Is she with you right now?" Ethan asked.

"She is. I'll tell her you stopped by, now just send me the wedding invitation and I'll get right on it. Really nice talking with you, Dad," Beca quipped.

"You still have my number?"

Beca nodded.

"Can we all have lunch tomorrow? You can bring Chloe," he offered.

"Tomorrow isn't a good day. Chloe has therapy," she spoke.

"Oh," he said, "How about Tuesday? Or would dinner be better?"

Beca shrugged, then let her hand cup her neck, "Yeah, I think I'm sick that day."

Ethan shook his head, "Can you be serious for one damn minute?"

"Well," Beca said, "I'm not sure either of us even want to go."

"Oh, come on, Beca."

Beca groaned, "Fine. I'll talk to her about it."

He nodded, "I look forward to seeing you two then."

Beca curtly nodded and he began to walk away with a small wave. Beca eyed him, wondering what goes through his mind sometimes. Doesn't speak to me for years and then he shows up expecting everything to be just fine. She opened the door and walked back in, seeing Chloe looking towards her, "Who was that?"

Beca shook her head, "No one."

Chloe stood and walked up to her, "Obviously it was someone. You were talking pretty loud."

"My Dad," Beca muttered.

Chloe nodded, crossing her arms, she said, "What did he say?"

"Nothing important," Beca mumbled.

Chloe sighed, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, its stupid," Beca stated, walking into her room as Chloe followed hastily behind her.

"Why won't you tell me?" Chloe asked.

Beca walked into her bathroom, then back out, "It's nothing important."

Chloe began to get frustrated. Beca was always there for her. She was more than whiling to listen when Chloe was upset. And Beca is upset. Her forehead is tensed, her mouth is tight, and she's chewing on the inside of her cheek like it's the last meal she will ever have. Beca never once complained when Chloe had a problem. And now, Chloe wants to help Beca, and she won't even utter a word of what happened. She stood for a great deal of time as Beca sat on her bed, looking down.

"Do you not trust me?"

Beca looked up, she opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, Chloe began speaking again, "Because," she paused and sat down next to Beca, "even though I have a hell of a lot more problems than you, doesn't mean I'm not here when you need someone."

Beca nodded, "Of course I trust you. It's nothing-"

"Stop saying it's nothing important!" Chloe hissed, "you're upset, Beca."

Beca was surprised at the way Chloe was speaking. She spoke with such intensity it took her back, "I just don't want to talk about it," she firmly stated.

"Fine," Chloe said under her breath, "I should go."

"No, you don't have to-"

"I don't want to fight, so I'm going to leave," Chloe stated.

"We aren't fighting," Beca said.

"Well, whatever this is, I don't want it at the moment," Chloe stated, turning around to walk out.

"Chloe, you can't do that," Beca voiced as she followed.

"Do what?" Chloe sibilated.

"Leave every time we have a problem," Beca said as they reached the door.

"And you can't expect me to be open with you, and then you close yourself off," Chloe stated.

"That's not fair."

"How?"

"Because.. Chloe, you're being so frustrating!" Beca yelled with a whine laced through.

"Well, I'm sorry that I want to help you!" Chloe yelled back.

"And you're helping by leaving because I don't want to talk about it?"

"Beca, you didn't want to tell me whatever it is that made you so upset in the first place," Chloe stated, rather calmly.

Beca continued to look down, away from Chloe. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell her, it was that she wasn't interested in talking about it at all. She didn't want to express how she felt about the situation because she felt like it was pointless, "I just don't want to talk about it."

"Are you fucking with me or something?" Chloe hissed.

Beca shook her head slowly, not exactly knowing what to say.

"So, explain to me why when I tried to kill myself and you came the next day, why you went on this whole, huge monologue about how I'm supposed to trust you, and, and tell you everything that's going on in my head, when I myself can't even understand it. And you can't tell me this? Do you know how hard it is for me to open myself up now? But look, I'm doing it. I tell you everything. I had an anxiety attack yesterday morning after you called me because Peanut scared the shit out of me when I got out of bed. I called you right after because I knew you would listen to me."

Beca only looked down at the words.

Chloe pursed her lips and gulped, "And you're always there. You always listen and you know how shitty it is to feel bad about that?" she yelled.

Beca looked up and saw the hurt in Chloe's eyes that she wouldn't talk to her. She let out at exasperated breath.

"It's the worst. It's the worst feeling in the world to have someone there for you at all times and then feel bad about it. You have no clue how hard it is for me to accept that you're not going to just get tired of my stupid shit and leave me," Chloe explained, "you have no fucking idea, Beca."

Beca huffed and turned around momentarily, "You know why I want you to tell me everything? Because I'm scared that if I don't know everything that's going on, that one day I'll get that same damn phone call from the hospital, but this time they'll be telling me you're dead," she voiced shakily, "and I won't even of been able to help you."

Chloe gulped, "I get that, Beca. But you can't be the strong one all the time. Sometimes you just need to be comforted."

"Well, you're not the strong one so someone has to be," Beca stated.

Chloe couldn't even bring herself to be hurt because of how true the statement was.

"We had sex," Chloe quivered, "Do you know how hard it was for me for you to see me naked? Do you know how hard it was for me to open myself up like that?"

"If you weren't ready-"

"No," Chloe stated, "That's not what I'm saying. I was ready. I wanted it. I wanted you to touch me like you did, and love me the way you loved me last night. I wanted to do the same for you. And I may be out of place saying this, but I'm not going to be the only one opening myself up here."

"Chloe, what if I just don't want to tell you?" Beca shot out.

"You don't-you don't want to?" Her face looked hurt as she repeated the words.

Beca paced, "That's not what I meant."

"Well, what do you mean?" Chloe asked quietly.

"I don't know how to," Beca quivered, continuing to pace, "This is just some little problem and I don't see he point in dwelling on my feelings."

"This is more than just right now, Beca," Chloe stated, "I'm talking about all the time. I mean, you seriously can't expect me to tell you everything, and then you tell me nothing?"

Beca shook her head, "Can we just drop it?"

"Consider it dropped," Chloe stated. She turned back around and tried to leave, but Beca stopped her.

"You can't leave," Beca said with slight desperation.

Chloe looked down, "I just want you to talk to me."

Beca sighed, "It's hard."

"I know," Chloe said, "But, I want to help you, too"

"It's hard for me.. It's just hard to talk about how I feel. You know that."

Chloe nodded, "I know that you used to be more open with me than now, too."

"It's different now," Beca mumbled.

Chloe nodded, "I-I'm sorry."

Beca shook her head, "It's not your fault. I just don't want to make you feel overwhelmed with my problems."

Chloe reached for Beca's hand and sat them down on the couch, "I know you want to be here for me in every way you can, but telling me when you're upset, is totally okay. And it's not going to overwhelm me."

After a moment of feeling Chloe stare at her, Beca said, "He's getting married and I don't know.. I shouldn't be upset, but I am."

"It's okay to be upset," Chloe spoke. Her demeanor had greatly changed once she heard how dejected Beca's words were, "I'd be upset."

Beca shook her head slightly and shrugged, "I feel stupid for being so.. so sad," she stated, a few stray tears prickled her eyes, "It's not like it matters."

"It does matter," Chloe said, she brought Beca into her, making the girl rest her head on her own chest. Beca let Chloe hold her. It was comforting and a change of pace for the two of them.

"I hate that I wish he would've told me earlier. I hate that I wish I was actually apart of it," Beca sniffled, "God, I just hate him but at the same time he's my Dad.. And I love him."

"Hey," Chloe gently said, she lifted Beca's head and wiped her tears, "It's okay to feel bad. Don't beat yourself up over this."

Beca's lips curled into a frown and she closed her eyes, "I'm sorry for crying."

Chloe's face softened as Beca laid her head back down, tightening her grip around her, "Don't be sorry at all. I've done my fair share of crying on your chest, so now it's your turn."

Beca chuckled tearily. She felt Chloe's chest rise and fall like normal and her arms were securely wrapped around her. And Beca had never felt this safe. Chloe's arms were like coming home from a long vacation and finally getting to sleep in your own bed. Chloe's embrace was something along the lines of not knowing you could miss something you never truly had.

"You should let me do this more often," Chloe whispered.

Beca smiled up at her, "It's nice."

Chloe ran her fingers along Beca's back as the girl continued to lay on her chest, "It is. Sometimes the strong ones need to be held, too."

Beca looked up at Chloe, "You know what's weird?"

"Hm?"

"We fight."

Chloe half smiled, "How so?"

Beca moved so they were both against the couch, "We never used to fight."

Chloe nodded, letting her body mesh with Beca's, "Yeah, it's like once we said I love you, we became a huge mess."

Beca laughed, "Well, I wouldn't say that, but yes."

Chloe smiled, "You're cute when you cry."

"Shut up," she slightly pouted.

Chloe gently ran her thumb along Beca's jutted out lip, "It's cute. Even cuter when you pout."

"It is not," Beca stated, slightly bringing her lip in.

"Its so cute. Your face scrunches up, your lip juts out and you look like a little puppy," Chloe cooed.

Beca sighed, "I am not cute. You're the cute one, dude."

"Dude?" Chloe smirked, "Well dude, I happen to think you're quite adorable all the time."

Beca shook her head, "Whatever."

Chloe smiled, happy with herself for getting Beca to agree.. even if it was just a whatever.

The two laid on the couch, not saying much, giving each other small pecks here and there. They staid like that for a while in silence until Beca spoke up, "Your parents want to see you."

Chloe tensed, "Did he say that?"

Beca nodded, "He said they ask about you a lot."

"Oh," Chloe said, "My therapist he did say it would be good to visit family."

"Maybe we could visit them?" Beca asked.

Chloe nodded, "You would go with me?"

"If you want me to. They only live, what? Like, an hour and a half away now?"

"Yeah," Chloe mumbled, "Around that."

Beca nodded, "Well, you should call them and set up a time."

Chloe nodded. Then it got quiet again for a while. The only sounds being the steady breathing of the two.

"We're invited."

Chloe nodded as Beca continued, "On Tuesday, he wants us to have dinner with them."

"Them?" Chloe asked.

"My Dad, the fiancé and her daughter."

"Oh," Chloe said, "That's fine."

Beca sat up, "It should be a great time."

Chloe laughed, "The best," she smiled and leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to Beca's lips, "I should probably get going. Gotta make sure Amy took good care of Peanut."

Beca nodded, "You nervous for therapy tomorrow?"

Chloe shrugged, "Not excited."

The two stood and Chloe got all her stuff together. They began walking to the door, "You sure you don't want me to walk with you?"

Chloe nodded, "Unless you want me to beg you to stay the night."

Beca smirked, "I'll stay if you want me to."

"Oh, I want you to," Chloe voiced as she opened the door, "but Amy will probably hound you with questions."

Beca laughed, "I'm okay with that as long as she doesn't ask about.. you know.."

Chloe blushed and they walked out to door. The two absently joined their hands as they began walking.

"Did I ever tell you that when I first met her, she asked if we were a couple and then went on to tell me that if she ever heard any "lady noises" one night, that she would root for me?"

Chloe sighed, "I wouldn't put it past her."

It wasn't until then that Chloe noticed Beca's strong facade wasn't being used as highly anymore.