Chapter 20 - Oppositional
"Ready?"
Chloe looked up, hearing the nurses words. She glanced over at Beca, who was sitting in the waiting room. Trying to rid of the nervous thumping in her chest, she smiled curtly and nodded, then followed the nurse back just like she did last week. Once inside the room she sat down and began to observe it. The walls were white, the pictures in the room made her almost want to laugh at just how fake they seemed. She wasn't sure if they were family of the doctor or what.
Smiling kids and adults who looked oblivious. Oblivious to why people are in really this room. They seemed to look happy, but Chloe had this feeling they genuinely weren't. It made her feel worse that she doesn't feel or look that happy all the time; she can only assume that that's how most feel. Then the door opened and the therapist from last week walked in with a warm smile, "Hello, Chloe."
"Hi," she softly said.
"How have you been this passed week?" He sat down at his desk.
Chloe's stomach was twisting and turning as her nervous heart beat out of time. She took some shaky breaths as she thought about her answer, "I've been good. I've been doing fine with the medicine, besides the tiredness," Chloe mused as she sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth. Taking another glance around the room she said, "I'm not as jittery. I actually noticed that I don't shake my legs anymore. And oh, I don't freak out as much in public now."
"Oh, good. Yeah, nervous habits tend to dwindle with the medication," he stated as he clasped his hands together, laying them on his desk, "Now, this second session I'm going to teach you different techniques on how to calm yourself down during an attack of any kind. And also how to resolve the symptoms leading up."
Chloe nodded, letting him launch into whatever he was going to say. She tried to listen, but her mind kept drifting off to Beca. Beca and how they fought. It was fine. They were fine. But, Chloe knew her girlfriend was still very hurt about the news. It seemed natural to be upset that he only told her three months before the said day. And Beca was confused with herself because one, she has convinced herself she hates her Dad. She has told herself time and time again, that Ethan Mitchell was nothing to her. And now, with this new found information, she is heartbroken. And she can't pin point just why.
Chloe heard him explain some tips here and there about attacks, she nodded each time he paused, trying to make it seem like she was listening. At one point her hearing tuned in when she heard him say something about meditation. She almost laughed as she thought about Beca meditating with her. How bored the brunette would get. Then she would complain about being either hungry or sleepy.
Chloe was still slightly sick to her stomach, and her hands felt clammy. Before she knew it the second session was over and she was walking out of the room down the hall, met with Beca waiting for her. With a small smile, she walked up. Beca engulfed her with a large hug, that made all of the recent therapy troubles wash away. And Chloe couldn't have felt more safe in this terrible place.
Ten times. Ten different times has Chloe tried to calm Beca down. And that's just counting the walk to the restaurant. Apparently, Beca's father, his fiance and her daughter are staying in the city for a while. They were meeting at a pretty fancy restaurant, which bothered Beca, because a) What's the point and b) what's the point.
"Beca," Chloe cooed, trying to unclasp their hands, "You're-ow- you're kind of hurting me."
Beca turned her head, tightening her grip on Chloe's small hand even more, "What?"
Chloe winced, "Your hand, Becs."
"Oh," she loosened her grip, "Sorry."
"It's okay," they continued walking hand in hand. Once Chloe was aware that they were close, being that they were coming into a nicer part of the city, she kept glancing at Beca. The brunette was visibly tense and her eyes were narrowed. She was chewing on the inside of her cheek, which Chloe knew she did while nervous or upset. Just before they walked inside the restaurant, Chloe stopped them near the door, but out of the way, "Hey," she cooed, bringing their interlocked hands up, she set her spare hand on the top of theirs, "I love you, okay? And everything is going to go just fine. I'm sure they're very nice people."
Beca nodded, "Just nervous, you know? The last one wasn't nice."
"I know," Chloe said, "You'll be fine."
"What if she hates me?" Beca asked, "what if the kid hates me?"
Chloe giggled, "I don't think they will hate you."
Beca sighed, "What if they do? What if they are homophobic or something? My Dad doesn't care, but what if they do?"
"Beca," Chloe said softly, sensing just how scared Beca really was, she dropped their hands and set hers on Beca's shoulders comfortingly, "If they say anything that doesn't change a thing. You know that. I love you and you love me and just because one person doesn't approve, doesn't stop the love we have for one another."
"I know. I know it doesn't, but I'm nervous," Beca whined.
Chloe nodded, dropping her hands and grabbing Beca's, she said, "Let's just get it over with."
Beca sighed, "Maybe it's not too late to cancel?"
Chloe chuckled, "We're already here and I'm hungry, so let's just go in and face your fears."
Beca nodded and the two walked inside, not so sure if the party was there or not, but when Chloe felt Beca tense around her hand again, she knew they must have been. Chloe followed Beca's gaze and saw the three sitting at table with two empty seats, presumably for them. The restaurant was fancy, and if the two are being honest, they felt under dressed. Chloe was wearing the nicest lacy red dress she had, with a black blazer she recently bought, along with black heels. While Beca as well was wearing a black dress (Chloe insisted) and a leather jacket with boots.
"After this I'm going to need a drink," Beca whispered to Chloe as they walked over to the table. Chloe giggled, leaning into Beca's ear, she said, "It's on me."
Beca snorted and they reached the table quicker than she hoped. She gave a curt smile to her father, who was seemed very happy to see them. They glanced at the other two brunette women. The elder was staring at their connected hands. Chloe only tightened the grip.
"Hello, Beca, Chloe," Ethan stood.
Chloe smiled, "Hi."
He turned his body towards the other two women at the table, "This is Emily and Brooke," he stated with a smile.
"Nice to meet you, both," Emily said.
"You too," they each said.
Beca wanted to hate this women, but she looked too nice. Her smile was like Chloe's, able to light up a room. But, unlike Chloe, Beca wanted to scowl at her each time she saw the grin.
"And you're, Chloe.. the-her girlfriend?"
Beca narrowed her eyes. The woman seemed so unsure of it. She sounded as if they didn't even know themselves that they're together.
Chloe smiled, "That's me. It's nice to meet you."
Emily smiled, then introduced her daughter, "This is Brooke."
The teenager smiled curtly, seemingly not too amused she said, "Nice to meet you," looking between the two.
"You too," Chloe said. They both just smiled and continued to stand awkwardly for a moment. After what seemed like a forever of awkward silence, Emily said, "Sit, sit."
Beca and Chloe sat down, dropping each other's hands. Beca next to her Dad, as Chloe sat next to Beca and Emily. Thankfully, it was a round table.
"So," Ethan spoke up, "How have you two been?" he directed towards Beca and Chloe. She looked towards Beca, setting her hand around her lower thigh, "Good, we're good. How are you?"
Beca nodded and cracked a smirk at Chloe's nervous words and her loving hand.
Ethan smiled, "Great."
Then it was silent. An awkward, weird silence due to the chatter of the restaurant and the quietness of the table. No one made eye contact besides the respected couples for many moments. Beca wanted to just stand up with Chloe and walk out like nothing ever happened because this was so damn awkward. Not seeing her Dad for years, then suddenly being at dinner with his fiance and her daughter. Weird.
"Well, I know this is strange for you," Emily directed towards Beca, "It must be hard. But, I would like to get to know you and your friend, here. You both seem lovely."
Chloe curtly smiled at the use of "friend", then looked at her nervous girlfriend.
"What do you want to know?" Beca quipped taking a sip of water.
Chloe closed her eyes momentarily, she wanted to laugh at how serious Beca sounded, but how she meant it sarcastically. She opted tightening her grip around Beca's leg, running her thumb over the skin. Emily opened her mouth to reply and hung it momentarily, "Where do you two work?"
Beca shifted, "I uh, own a night club. With one of my friends. He uh, he was nice enough to let me take the night off again for this."
"And you?" Emily asked Chloe.
"Oh, I work at a law office-"
"You're a lawyer?" Emily and Ethan asked simultaneously, "How nice! I'm a lawyer."
"Oh, no," Chloe said, "I'm not-no. I'm like, an assistant. I file papers, and sometimes I get Aubrey, the girl I work for, I get her coffee."
Emily nodded, "Oh, I see."
Chloe nodded and looked down at the table. And then it was quiet again until they ordered their drinks.
"So," Ethan began with a small smile, "Are you guys serious about your relationship?"
Beca nodded, looking towards Chloe, "We are. Very serious about it," Beca stated.
"Do you two see a future?" Emily asked skeptically.
Beca was now the taken back one. She had just meant this women and now she's questioning her relationship?
"A future as in what?" Beca asked, taking another sip of water. She felt like this was the only thing keeping her from exploding. It was something to keep her busy.
"You know, kids and marriage?" Emily stated.
Beca nodded and looked to Chloe again, "We're not thinking about that at the moment, but uh," Beca smiled, "I would want that with her."
The two nodded. Emily with a cunningly fake smile and Ethan with a seemingly genuine one, "Can I ask what happened to your-your," Emily gestured to her own neck.
"Oh," Chloe mumbled, cupping her neck. Beca shook her head, "It's kind of a long story and I don't think it's very appropriate to talk about that."
Chloe nodded, "It's just.. I'd rather not explain it."
Emily nodded with a curt smile, letting her eyes linger on Chloe's neck. After another flawless awkward silence, Ethan took a sip of his drink and said, "How are you really doing, then?"
Beca looked up, "What do you mean? She said she was fine, Dad."
"Yes, yes," he paused, looking up at Emily, then to Beca and Chloe, "But.. aren't you depressed?"
Chloe nodded, taking a moment before she replied, "I am, yes. But, that doesn't mean I can't be fine. Depression is more than just an emotion. It's a state of being," Chloe stated. She remembered reading that somewhere so she spewed it out. The two looked at her like she didn't know what depression was. Each giving her this contorted look of confusion. Chloe started to shake her leg absently due to nerves. Beca noticed, this time she set her own hand on Chloe's knee, trying to halt the movements.
"You know what I think of it as?" Beca asked the table.
They looked at her, letting her go on. Chloe had her head hung, she wasn't sure what Beca would say and she was nervous for the words.
"I think of Chloe's depression as a weight, not the metaphorical kind on your shoulders, but like metaphorical lifting weights. It's like lifting real weights. It weighs down her muscles when she's not strong enough. Sometimes she feels numb because they're too much for her that day. And some days that's fine. Recovery is all about that. Some days she needs to take the day and just not do anything. The other day she slept for twelve hours because she needed it. And some days shes not being weighed down, some days she's strong and lifting those said weights are no match for her," Beca paused, looking at her father and Emily, passing by Brooke as she felt Chloe's eyes boring into the side of her head. Carefully she ran her next works through her mind before saying them, "Every day is a different roller coaster ride, and everyday is something new. But everyday I get to wake up next to her and see her smile that shy smile towards me, I know that she is okay. She may not be the old Chloe I've always known. She is a totally different person, but I know she's okay. And just because she is depressed, doesn't mean she is emotionless. She has bad days and good days, just like everyone else. And I love her no matter what kind of day it is."
Ethan and Emily nodded, not seeming like they knew just what to say as Brooke smiled at the two. Beca was certainly surprised with herself, but Chloe was honestly amazed Beca spilled all of those words out. Her heart beat was booming inside her chest and all she wanted to do was surge forward and kiss Beca and tell her just how much she loved her.
After they all ordered their drinks and food, they aimlessly talked about nothing. There was an obvious elephant in the room. The way Emily glanced up at the two of them, then Ethan, was uncomfortable to say the least.
"So, are you two going to be at the wedding as.. dates? Or?" Emily asked as the table was cleared.
"Well," Beca began glancing at Chloe, "Since I'm invited, and I get to bring someone, it would make sense if I brought the person I'm with..."
"So, yes," Chloe finished with.
"Oh," Emily voiced.
Beca nodded as Chloe shifted in her seat. It was awkward. And it felt like they were suddenly unwelcomed because of this seemingly new article of information.
"Well, that's great," Ethan smiled, "Everyone always knew you two had something more."
Chloe smiled happily, glancing at Beca who had her signature smirk etched on.
"I was wondering if maybe-maybe you could bring a guy?" Emily directed towards Beca.
Ethan furrowed his eye brows, "Why would she?"
"Well, I just don't want any controversy. You understand, right?" Emily said.
"There won't be any," Ethan stated firmly.
"It's just a suggestion," Emily said, "we talked about this, Ethan."
"Yes, we did! And I said she could bring whoever she wanted. Man or woman."
Emily turned to Chloe, completely disregarding what he just said, "You understand don't you, hun?"
Chloe looked to Beca, then down, not knowing what to say, so she looked at her hands. Beca tilted her head to the side, getting annoyed at this women's antics, she sat up straight and said, "If you don't want me there, you can just say it."
"No, that's not it at all," Emily reassured.
"Well, if you don't want Chloe to be there, then I don't want to be there," Beca stated angrily, taking out some money and set it on the table, grabbed Chloe's hand and they hastily walked out. Emily looked at Ethan apologetically as Brooke smirked, "I like them."
"Beca, calm down," Chloe said as they walked.
Beca's jaw was clenched and her hand was gripping Chloe's with all her might, "Okay, I know you're mad, but you're hurting me."
"I'm sorry," Beca breathed out, loosing her grip.
"Don't worry about anything she said," Chloe voiced.
Beca huffed, "Who the fuck does she think she is? Seriously? I knew I wasn't going to like her."
Chloe nodded as they continued to walk, "I think Brooke was sweet. And your Dad was great for sticking up for you."
Beca scoffed, "Brooke's got a bitch for a Mother."
Chloe chuckled, sucking in a breath, she said, "You know.. if you would feel more comfortable with taking a guy, I have someone at work who would be up for it."
Beca laughed, "No, thanks. You'll do."
Chloe smile faded as she saw how disheveled Beca appeared, "Anyway, it doesn't matter," Beca breathed out, "My Dads marrying her and that's that."
"He seemed to be happy to see you."
Beca shrugged as they sat down on the small brown bench. It was off to the side on the street as everyone shuffled passed them. They needed a breather and they were far away from home. Chloe sat thigh to thigh with Beca, shyly setting her hand in Beca's bare knee, "That was really sweet what you said," she gently spoke.
Beca shrugged as she smirked at Chloe's timid hand, "It's true."
Chloe smiled, running her thumb over the skin, "I love you," she whispered.
Beca lightly smirked again, bringing Chloe into a hug she said, "I love you, too."
Chloe duked her head into Beca's neck, feeling the brunette tighten her arms around her. Chloe loved hugging Beca. She would never get used to the feeling of Beca's arms securing around her waist, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to because then maybe it wouldn't be this special every time. It was one of the best feelings in the world for her to be connected to Beca like this, "I just can't get over what you said," Chloe whispered in to Beca's neck, "It was so sweet."
Beca laughed, pulling back slightly to get a view of Chloe's face, "Was it really that swoon worthy, Chlo?"
Chloe smiled lightly, she moved Beca's jacket down to where her collarbone was bare. She pressed her lips to the area softly, up to her tender neck, then to her sensitive jaw, not even minding the fact their in public. She didn't care. And if anyone did, she really didn't care right now. She was so incredibly in love at the moment and she needed to show her feelings somehow. Chloe kissed Beca's jaw tenderly,"I almost cried it was so swoon worthy."
Beca smiled at the feeling of Chloe's lips brushing over her skin, then the whispered words that followed. Pressing one more gentle kiss, Chloe turned Beca's head so it was facing her and kissed her , "You are so getting some tonight," she said against Beca's lips. The brunettes mouth fell as Chloe pulled back with a smirk, that soon turned into a mortified look when she fully registered her words, "Oh, I'm so sorry," Chloe rushed out.
The brunette gulped and shook her head, "No! No, I just-just you-wow," Beca breathed out.
"I don't know why I said that," Chloe frowned as she hunched her body over.
"Hey, it's no big deal," Beca reassured with a tiny laugh, "Just surprised me is all."
Chloe blushed, pursing her lips to the side. She looked up at Beca, "Well, why don't we head home?"
Beca slowly nodded, still overly surprised with the words Chloe spoke. The redhead slightly smiled as she grabbed Beca's hand and stood up. As they began to walk, Chloe dropped her hand. Beca's face became red as she felt Chloe's fingers slip behind her leather jacket, and trace the seams of her dress the whole trip home.