Chapter 21 - Family Ties

The darkness of the small bedroom, the becoming heat of the blankets draped over their bodies, and the quietness that washed over the walls, only added to Chloe's nerves. As she laid her head on Beca's chest, trying her best to fall asleep, she couldn't shake the worry washing over her limbs. Sensing Chloe's tenseness, Beca shifted so instead if being Chloe's pillow, she was facing her.

"What are you thinking about?" Beca whispered, "I can practically see your head spinning."

Chloe softly smiled. She had always loved how well Beca could read her and tell if something was off. Huffing gently as she decided not to beat around the bush, she said, "Tomorrow."

"Ah," Beca said, she tucked the red locks behind Chloe's ear that weren't even out of place and continued to run her hand through Chloe's hair, "I wouldn't worry."

"What if-what if when we go and... and they see me, and how different I am... and how much I've changed... what if, I don't know, Beca. What if they... what if they're disappointed?"

"Chlo, you're parents are probably thrilled you're going to visit," Beca gently spoke.

"I'm nervous," Chloe whispered.

"I know," Beca whispered back, "but, you'll be fine. I'll be there, and were only going for one night."

Chloe nodded against the pillow, tightening the blankets around her body she scooted closer to Beca as she dug her head into her side, "You better be right."

Around noon the next day, the two girls were heading up to Chloes parents'.

"My dad texted me this morning."

"Really?"

It had been about a week since the dinner, and her dad hadn't gotten in contact with her since then, and she was beginning to think she would never hear from him again at this rate,"He apologized. And what's even more hilarious," she paused, keeping her eyes trained on the road ahead of her, she huffed, "he wants me to have dinner with just her."

Chloe's mouth parted slightly as she looked at Beca intently, trying to get an understanding of how she felt, "Just her?"

Beca nodded as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel, "How stupid is that?"

Chloe lightly shrugged. Beca glimpsed at Chloe, then back to the road, then once again to Chloe, "You agree?"

"No," Chloe reassured, "But, maybe it would be a good idea to just talk to her."

"I'd rather lick a spider."

"Fine," Chloe laughed, "But I'd really like to see you lick that spider."

"You look like you're about to puke."

"I am."

Beca glanced towards Chloe worriedly. If she vomited in this car, it would cost loads to help with the stains. Not to mention the acrid smell that comes along with it, "Wait, really?"

Chloe chuckled, "No, just nervous."

Beca nodded, relieved, she pulled onto the street of Chloe's parents.

"Beca," Chloe said shakily, "I'm actually really fucking scared."

"I promise you, everything will be okay," Beca assured as they pulled up to the house. Chloe looked out the window as she took in the house, "I can't do this."

Beca got out of the car and walked over to Chloe's side, opening the door, she kneeled in front of her, "You're going to go in there and they will be so happy to see you, Chlo. They're your family. They love you no matter what."

Chloe half smiled, then took a breath, "You're the best for coming with me."

Beca smirked, "I know. Now, kiss me so we can go inside."

Chloe laughed, pecking Beca's lips she got out of the car and they began to take their over night bags out. As they walked up to the house, the front door open and a little strawberry blonde girl came running out.

"Chloe is here!"

Chloe looked to Beca and nervously half smiled as the girl jumped into her arms, "You're Chloe."

Chloe smiled, "I am Chloe," she said, a little shakily, "And you're Clare, right?"

"Yes, I'm Clare!" she turned her head towards Beca, "you are Chloe's best-friend."

Beca smiled, "I am."

Chloe had a lazy smile on her face while the little girl hugged her tightly. Her eyes fluttered closed and she reveled in the adorable moment until she heard her brothers voice.

"Welcome home, Chlo."

Her eyes shot open and they absently trickled with small tears. Chloe had been incredibly close with her brother, Adam, and to hear his comforting voice after almost six years, was something she couldn't explain. Clare wiggled out of her arms and ran into the house, pulling Beca along with her.

"Hey," Chloe breathed out. She stared at him in disbelief as she took it everything. His auburn hair, blue eyes, the prominent freckles he sported, "Hey," she whispered again, her lip trembled as he wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Chloe tightened her arms around him, "I missed you so much."

Adam set his chin on Chloe's head, "I missed you, too," they hugged for a few more moments until Adam tried to pull away, but Chloe wouldn't let go. He laughed comfortingly, "Why don't we go inside?"

Chloe nodded against his chest, wiping her stray tears. She had one arm wrapped around him as he wrapped one arm around her shoulder. Once they were all inside, with Beca off to the side, as Clare was picked up by her Father as her Mother stood beside them, Chloe's Mom, Grace, was the first to appear. The women had the face of Chloe, but older. Her hair was more of an auburn color like Adams, with slightly tanner skin as her eyes were as strikingly blue as Chloe's were.

"Chloe," Grace cooed.

"Hi, Mom," Chloe said gently.

Her Mother practically ran up to her, engulfing her in a huge hug, "You're so much older."

Chloe chuckled, tightening her arms around her Mother. She had always acquired this warm, home like scent that made Chloe feel insanely safe. Ever since she was young, when she had any problem at all, all her mom would have to do was hug her, and she instantly felt better, "Yeah, I'm not twenty years old anymore."

Her Mom pulled back, but still had her arms around Chloe's shoulders. She brought her arms up and touched her neck and looked at the scar on her forehead. As she touched the scars and her eyes watered, she said, "You look beautiful, sweetheart."

Chloe smiled shyly, "Thank you."

Grace cupped Chloe's cheeks, "God, I just-I'm so happy you finally came to visit," she sniffled.

"Don't cry, Mom. Or I am just going to keep crying," she chuckled.

Grace sniffled again, wiping her tears, "I can't help it," she laughed.

Chloe smiled at her Mom one last time before she let go. She looked at Beca who had a smile on her face, along with her brother and his wife, Olivia. Then her Dad, Richard, came into view and Chloe broke out into a beaming smile.

"Dad!" Chloe yelped happily, she basically jumped into his arms.

"Hey, sweetheart," Richard said, submerging Chloe into a warm hug, as he slightly picked her up, "Your hair is darker."

Chloe giggled, sniffling she nodded, "It was brown for a while, too," she hugged him tightly. After Chloe got reacquainted with her family, hugging them all a few more times and talking for a little while, Grace spoke up as they all stood in the living room, "Why don't you and Beca," she beamed towards the brunette, "why don't you two go get yourselves comfortable in the guest room, and then we can all have dinner?"

Beca nodded, gripping her bag, she took Chloe's for her and the two were guided to the spare room by Chloe's Mom, as the rest stayed in the living room, "You two can relax for a little while alone if you'd like. I know sitting in a car for almost two hours is tiring," Grace stated as they entered.

Beca nodded, "Thank you for letting me stay."

Grace smiled, "Of course, Beca. You know you're always welcome!"

Chloe hugged her Mom one more time before the women left the two alone.

"You don't seem so nervous anymore," Beca stated.

"I'm more nervous about Amy watching Peanut," Chloe smiled, "I never realized just how much I missed them. It feels almost like no time has passed. Except for the fact everyone looks older."

Beca smiled and walked over to Chloe, who was leaning against the dresser, looking at the pictures. There was a few older ones that she recognized, then some new that she didn't. One in particular that stuck out to her, was one of her and Beca. It was surprising to her that her Mother placed it here. It was probably ten years old. Chloe had her arms wrapped around a unconvincingly frowning Beca as the two of them sat in Chloe's old backyard. It seemed to be the middle of summer, since Chloe was dressed in a light purple summer dress, with her red locks tied back. Beca wore her usual torn jeans and a plain t-shirt that was constantly sported back then.

"You look adorable," Chloe mumbled, still raking her eyes over the nostalgic photo.

"You look beautiful," Beca stated as she looked at the side of Chloe's face.

Chloe laughed, "I look like I'm trying to squeeze you to death."

Beca smirked, "You probably were."

Chloe scoffed as she turned to face the brunette. She smiled softy once she saw the brunette doing the same to her, she then tuned back to the pictures, "Clare was so happy to see you. You haven't met her before, right?" Beca said, pressing a small kiss to the nape of Chloe's neck. Chloe shook her head, she turned around and let her hands grip Beca's shoulders, "She's only four."

Beca smiled slyly, "Well, maybe they talk about you a lot. You are pretty great."

Chloe shook her head as she looked down. Beca ran her thumbs along the dip of Chloe's back she said, "You told them everything, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Chloe mumbled, relaxing into Beca's touch, "I told my Mom everything, almost, and she told my Dad and brother. I think Olivia knows. But Clare just thinks I've been busy in the city."

"What haven't you told them?" Beca asked gently.

"Just the physical stuff," Chloe said, "but that's pretty obvious now."

Beca nodded, "Your neck, right?"

Chloe gulped, "Yeah, and then the forehead scar. Along with the one on my head. My Mom looked like she was about to sob when she saw them," she sighed, "I'm just glad you're here with me."

Beca smiled, "Of course," she whispered, leaning her head to the side to kiss Chloe's jaw tenderly.

"I think we should go back downstairs," Chloe whispered, loving the sensation Beca's lips brought upon her. Beca hummed, kissing Chloe's jaw one more time, "You're right."

Chloe let out a breath, "Maybe.. maybe just kiss me a little and then we can go."

"That I can do," Beca mumbled against Chloe's jaw. She lifted her head and ran her thumb along Chloe's bottom lip before kissing her. Something about they way Beca kissed her, made everything come into place. The brunette kissed her with so much apparent love and pure care, it made Chloe feel safe. And every chance she had, Chloe made sure she was kissing Beca. They kissed against the dresser for a few moments until Chloe absently wrapped her arms around Beca's neck, she pushed her self off the dresser, making them stumble a little, before she reconnected their lips.

"Chloe? Beca?" Clare knocked on the door.

"She's so cute," Chloe said as she broke free from Beca and opened the door, seeing the little girl smiling before her.

"Yes?"

"Can you guys play with me while Grandma and Mom cook?"

Chloe looked back to Beca, who nodded,"Sure," Chloe said. The three all walked back downstairs and were greeted kindly by everyone. Beca knows Chloe's family exceptionally well, so this wasn't all that awkward even after all this time. Chloe and Beca sat on the living room couch, as the others were in the the kitchen.

"Can I sit in the middle?" Clare asked Chloe.

"Oh," Chloe said with a nod, "Sure."

Clare sat right in the middle, she turned her body towards Chloe so she was sitting cross legged.

"How old are you?"

Chloe tucked some hair behind her ear, "I'm twenty-five."

"You're old," Clare stated with a scrunch of her nose.

Beca laughed. Chloe turned her head, "We're the same age, Becs."

"I know," Beca said, "that was just funny."

Chloe shook her head jokingly. Beca decided she would try and help in the kitchen, leaving Chloe alone with the young girl.

"You're really pwetty," Clare stated.

Chloe blushed, "Thank you. So are you."

"So is Beca," Clare said.

Chloe nodded, "I think so, too."

"When you guys get married, you can both wear pwetty dwesses!"

Chloe laughed at how excited the little girl was, "That's right."

Clare beamed, "Daddy told me you like little kids. That means you like me!"

Chloe smiled softly. She took a breath, trying not to become too nervous around this four year old child, she said, "Yeah."

"Do you have any kids?"

Chloe shook her head, "I don't."

"Why not?"

Chloe opened her mouth, then closed it a few times. As Clare calmly waited for an answer Chloe didn't know how to give, the redhead sighed, "It's complicated."

Clare nodded, "That's what my Mom said," she sighed.

Chloe slowly nodded, not saying anything else. She fixed her eyes on the ground as Clare started talking again. She didn't realize how long she had zoned out, until Beca was standing in front of her, trying to get her attention.

"Chlo?" Beca said. Chloe snapped her head up, then looked to the side when she realized Clare was no longer beside her.

"You okay?" Beca gently asked. She sighed and nodded her head, "Fine," she whispered. Beca nodded, letting her know dinner was ready, the two walked into the dinning room. As they got situated and began to eat, they all fell into light conversation. Not about anything in particular. Just about recent happenings. Chloe was internally freaking out, though. She felt like something was going to bubble up at any moment and topple her over.

"So, are you back in school, Chloe?"

And there it was.

Chloe set her fork down, taking a sip of water she slightly shook her head. Her Dad stopped his motions, set his silverware down and looked at her sternly as if they were the only two in the room, "And whys that? You did so well your first year."

Chloe's face went to a deep crimson shade. She fiddled with her fork momentarily before her dad looked at her expectantly. She quickly glanced around at the five other faces in the room looking directly at her. The sight was just enough to send her stomach haywire, her mouth dry and her heart pump rapidly against her chest,"I'm not going back," she mumbled, looking down. Chloe was afraid of this. Her dad was always very strict about school, and what college she would be attending. When she got into NYU, Chloe had never seen her dad happier. And now, with this new information, she was terrified of his reaction.

"What?" Richard yelled. Chloe winced at the noise. Grace set her hand on his forearm to try and reduce whatever may come next. He visibly calmed, "Well will talk about this later."

Chloe nodded sheepishly, as she looked down, she tried her hardest not to break out into nervous breaths. Feeling everyone's eyes still on her as they finished the meal, only made it worse.

"Chloe," Richard said as the table was cleared, "let's talk outside."

Chloe nodded, this time only looking straight down as she followed her dad outside like a lost puppy. Once they hit the cold, chilly night air, Chloe shuddered as they sat on the outdoor steps.

"Why aren't you going back?"

Chloe huffed. She should've known he wasn't going to beat around the bush. She bobbed her legs up and down quickly, "I feel like it's too late. I'm twenty-five. I shouldn't be going to med school this late. I was thinking of just getting an associates degree in something and then seeing where that takes me."

"I think you should go back."

"Dad-"

"Chloe-"

Chloe winced at the raised inflection. She set her head in her hands momentarily before standing up, "I'm not going back. I'm sorry. I know you're mad, and upset with me. But do you know how mad I am? It sucks, Dad. I hate it. I always wanted to be a doctor and now it's just taken away from me," her voice broke at the end of the sentence, raising her head so the tears wouldn't fall, she said, "Lots of things have changed, and I've slowly been learning to accept it. So I would appreciate it if you could, too."

Richard stood up. Seeing how timid his daughter was looking, he engulfed her in a warm, comforting hug, "I'm sorry for getting angry," he stated. Chloe hugged him back, "It's okay."

As they walked back inside, they were met with everyone standing in the living room, saying their goodbyes. Chloe said goodbye, hugged her brother, Clare and Olivia. Afterwards, the four all sat back down on the couch and engaged in a meaningless conversation. They chatted about work, life and other things. As the night came to a close, Chloe's parents had decided they were going to go upstairs. Once they were out of the living room, Chloe let out a exasperated sigh, closing her eyes and letting her head hit the back of the couch. This was certainly stressful to say the least. She really enjoyed catching up with everyone and meeting Clare, but all the questions they were throwing at her, made her head spin.

"You did great," Beca stated.

Chloe laughed with a worn out breath as she picked her head up and opened her eyes, "Shut up."

"No, I'm serious," Beca reassured. She set her hands on top of Chloe's and smiled. Chloe closed her eyes again, letting out another huff. As the two sat in the silence of the open living room, exchanging nothing but their own breathing.

"I'm going to take a shower," Chloe mumbled. Beca nodded and the two of them stood up and walked upstairs. Once they got into the spare bedroom, Chloe gathered her necessities for a quick shower and dosed into the adjoining bathroom, leaving Beca alone. It took her about twenty minutes to completely get herself ready for bed, since she was extremely worn out.

Chloe walked back into the room, set all her things down and stood with a tired look drawn upon her face. Taking a few small gulps and breaths as her eyes fluctuated from open to closed, she made her way over to the bed. Beca laughed at the sight, seeing that Chloe was extremely tired, she opened the covers for her and Chloe flopped down.

"You're worn out my little soldier," Beca said gently. Chloe nodded against the pillow, she puffed out a small breath. Letting her body turn slightly on her back, she patted the bare area, signaling she wanted Beca to lay there. She had planned on showering, as well, but she figured helping Chloe sleep was slightly more important. She laid down, letting Chloe curl into her. She soothed her back with gentle circles as she pressed small kisses to her forehead every now and then. As Chloe's breathing steadied against Beca's chest, the brunette decided to get up and take a quick shower.

After she had finished, when she walked back inside, Chloe was no longer there. Deciding she knew where Chloe went, she set her shower essentials down and headed to her destination.

Chloe was sitting on the cold patio, overlooking nothing. There were a few trees and then the black sky. It reminded her if Arizona, only because in New York, you don't see the sky like you do other places. As she sat, holding her body since she was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, she heard the door open behind her, and felt a warm blanket covering her body.

"It's cold," Beca said as she took a seat next to her.

"Thanks," Chloe whispered. After a moment of silence Chloe turned her head towards Beca. The brunette was looking out like she had previously been doing, admiring the night sky which they rarely got to experience.

"You doing okay?" Beca carefully asked.

Disregarding the question, Chloe said,"You know how people say, 'everything happens for a reason'?"

Beca nodded.

"I don't believe that."

Beca looked towards Chloe, as she looked away. "I don't believe people get cancer to learn life lessons. I don't believe that people kill people because God needed another angel. I don't believe that people grow apart to make room for other, more important people in their life. I don't believe it. I don't believe that I can't have my own children to show me how precious life really is. And I sure as hell don't believe I was raped for three years straight to show me that fucked up shit happens for a reason. Because it doesn't. It just happens. And there's not a damn thing I, or anyone else can do about it."

As Beca listened to the words Chloe spoke, it slightly scared her that she spoke with no emotion. She was completely monotone the whole time. No inflections. No wavering of any words. No nothing.

"Seeing my family today, and seeing how-how much they haven't changed, and how much I have, I don't know. It makes me feel awkward. Like I'm not part of the family anymore," Chloe said quietly, "Seeing Clare, seeing her be so full of life, seeing how happy she was to see me," Chloe shook her head slightly as she narrowed her eyes at the night sky, "I want my own Clare."

Completely getting what Chloe meant, Beca nodded gently in her direction. Chloe tightened the blanket around her body, she looked down at her legs, trying to become transfixed on anything but Beca.

"All those years, I-I was so grateful I couldn't get pregnant," Chloe spoke, "but now I feel like a terrible person for being grateful," Chloe eyes became wet with hot tears. They fell gently down her crimson cheeks as she let out shallow breaths, "I've never hated myself more for feeling that way."

Beca stood up and let out a breath, she kneeled down in front of the redhead and soothingly set her hands on tops of Chloe's, "You have every right to feel the way you do."

"I just want to have my own kids, you know? With someone I love... with you. And I can't even do that," Chloe cried. With her lips in a slight frown and her eyes pouring out tears, she sighed, "I'm sorry," she shook her head, "Clare asked me if I had any kids earlier, and it's been bugging me ever since."

Beca nodded and ran her thumb over Chloe's knuckles, "It's not a problem," she said. The brunette helped Chloe up, running her thumbs under her eyes she kissed her nose and said, "Why don't we try and get some sleep?"

Chloe nodded, so the two quietly walked back inside and made their way back to bed. With thoughts of the unknown events of the next day weaving through Chloe's mind, she laid with her eyes completely open, staring off at nothing as she stayed in Beca's caring embrace.

A/N: Sorry for the errors, I've been extremely busy recently and I really wanted to get this up before things became hectic again. Thanks for reading!