Chapter 4: Hi there! I hope you're doing well. I worked hard on this chapter, but because of the language barrier, I'm not sure that I succeeded in saying what I wanted to say, and if my text is clear. I just hope that you'll manage to read it, and that you'll enjoy it in spite of my bad English. Thanks for following this story.
Where was House? Cuddy couldn't think about anything else. She was in her office at the hospital. She was supposed to prepare the meeting with the department heads aiming to set objectives of the next half-year but her mind was elsewhere. Far away from here. She was with House in front of Wilson's grave. He looked broken and lost. His best friend just died and he was alone. And on top of that he was supposed to be dead. When Wilson taught her the death of House a few months earlier, she showed indifference and coldness, but deep inside her, a big part of her life suddenly disappeared, a huge part of herself. And heartbreak came over her, overwhelmed her, followed by a wave of gloomy remorse and regret.
"Doctor Cuddy, it's time."
"I'm coming"
"Are you okay? You look… troubled. A problem?"
"No, everything's fine." In fact, everything wasn't fine. On the contrary. Cuddy was completely lost. She didn't know what to do. She faced a dilemma. Reason dictated her to stay away from House and his problems; she could afford under no circumstances any scandal. The management committee of the hospital was strict on this point. They hired her only because her results in Princeton were excellent, but they warned her: no way to reissue the affair of Princeton, therefore no House. Indeed, the end of their story had some echoes in the medical world and if her name wasn't on a blacklist, that of House was. His genius found it very difficult to compensate his own methods and his habit to get around the rules. And his time in prison didn't help. Yes, but to quote a well known adage «the heart has its reasons that Reason knows not». And Cuddy's heart was forever under the spell of Gregory House. Since Wilson contacted her, she thought only of him, although she denied it. During the last meal at Arlene, her mother asked her if she intended one day to forget House and to find a boyfriend. But she tried to avoid the topic. It was so complicated. She had to forget him. But she couldn't.
"You're really an idiot"
"Mom, leave it. She just needs a little time" said Julia.
"Okay, well thank you for the meal, but we have to go, I promised the children to take them to the park," replied Cuddy, wanting at all costs to avoid another conversation about her disastrous love life.
"But, HE DIED! Then even if he was the one for you, you can't leave your children without a father. Jeremy, Sarah's son is still single, I told him about you and he will call you to invite you to dinner on Friday evening. Julia will look after the children, won't you, Julia?"
"Yes, of course. Mom is right Lisa, you need somebody in your life, you only live for your work, it's not good. And Jeremy is rather handsome."
"I thank you mom for caring about my well-being, but I assure you I'm fine and I don't need anyone."
"But look at you! You still lost weight and you could have a role in a zombie movie. I told Jeremy that you were tired but I hope you'll make an effort for this dinner. It's hard enough to find a man who agrees to go out with a middle-aged woman, but if in addition she looks like death warmed up, it becomes impossible."
"Thanks Mom, you always find the right words to cheer me up. But please, stop worrying about my love life."
"Don't take it the wrong way, Lisa. We just want you to be happy."
"My life is perfect just like this, thank you."
"Lisa ... I'm waiting for you on Friday evening."
"Okay" she sighed to be able to escape.
And they had dinner. Four days before Wilson's death. Jeremy was quite a nice guy, women found him appealing undoubtedly, but he was not House. And for Cuddy, this evening seemed very long. Jeremy flirted with Cuddy and later this evening, he suggested they had a last drink. Cuddy refused alleging the tiredness of the week. Disappointed, he drove her home. But once in front of her door, he again insisted on a last drink.
"I'm sorry, Jeremy, but ..."
"Never in the first appointment, right?"
"Uh, yes, that's it. This may be old fashioned, but I " she replied, relieved by the explanation which he gave her.
"It's good, I respect your choice even though I expected more" he said, stroking her cheek.
"Jeremy, please"
"Well, well, I go" he replied and Cuddy felt the frustration in his voice.
Then once alone, she began to cry softly. She nearly called Wilson. She would have liked to hear House's voice. House… Why? What did they screw up?
Closing eyes, she imagined the hands of House caressing her slowly, gently. She remembered his scent, the taste of his lips on hers.
"Doctor Cuddy?! What do you think of this project? Doctor Cuddy?" A voice asked her, drawing her suddenly out of her thoughts.
"I'm sorry, I… I was thinking about something else", she replied blushing. "This project seems good." She remembered having read a proposal from the pediatric team and found it relatively innovative.
The heads of Department exchanged a quick look, wondering what unsettled the Dean of Medicine.
"If there is no other project, I propose that we put an end to this meeting", Cuddy said and got up. As she headed to her office, she felt someone behind her. Her heart beat faster. Could it be ... But looking back, it was not House that she saw, but Dr. Robert, head of surgery, a tall guy with dark hair and green eyes. He had his eye on Cuddy and she knew it. Her face certainly showed disappointment because he said:
"Wow, I usually attract smiles. Do I have a pimple on the nose?"
"Not now, Robert. Do you want something?"
"No, but you seemed worried during the meeting; you didn't listen to what was said and I just wanted to be sure that everything was fine."
"It's nice to worry about me, but everything's fine, you can go back to work."
"Are you sure? You look exhausted."
"I'm fine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have lots of work" she said and walked away.
Back in her office, Cuddy couldn't help but looked at the picture she had in her wallet. "House, where are you? If you knew how much I miss you ... "she said aloud and wiped away a tear.
"Oh, you miss me already? You've only to say the word and I move in with you."
"Doctor Robert!" exclaimed Cuddy, blushing. "I talked to myself; don't take your dreams for realities."
"Oh! I thought I won your heart. But I could content myself with a sexual relationship, you know."
"Doctor Robert, don't go too far. Apart from me, you wanted?"
"You didn't affix your signature at the bottom of my request of equipment and I'd like to know why."
"Let me see." Cuddy skimmed through the document and signed it. "That's it, you can go."
Robert looked at her puzzled. Usually he had to argue every request, what wasn't to dissatisfy him because he liked these verbal battles, sometimes on the verge of flirting, and today, she signed without batting an eyelid. Weird. He had to investigate to figure out what unsettled Doctor Cuddy that much. And if necessary, he would take part personally to help Cuddy smile again. He was about to close the door, but came back and stood in front of Cuddy's desk. She looked up and stared at him with a questioning look.
"People gonna talk if you stay any longer in my office."
"Let them talk. This will give them finally an interesting topic of conversation."
"Are you sure this is what you want?" she said, got up, went round her desk and stood in front of him, challenging him. In a way, he reminded her of the man of her life. He had somewhat the same manners as House but he was more moderate. If House wasn't alive, she might have eventually given in to his advances. But did he really want her or was it just a game?
"Are you free tonight?" he asked staring deep into Cuddy's eyes and came a little closer.
She was about to answer when the door swung open. It was Jeremy.
"I understand now why you didn't call me back! Slut!"
"I will not allow you to insult Dr. Cuddy" Robert replied and punched Jeremy who fell on the floor.
"Robert!" exclaimed Cuddy, looking at him with wild eyes. Then she turned to Jeremy who got up painfully.
"Jeremy, I'm sorry, that's not what you think."
"You'd better go before I call security" Robert cut her off.
"You'll hear from me." said Jeremy before leaving.
"Well, your boyfriend is rather aggressive. If I were you, I shall change it."
"HE's NOT my boyfriend!" After a few seconds, she added: "He's just the son of a friend of my mother."
"Oh, I see."
"No, you see nothing at all. Leave me alone now."
"And for tonight?"
"Robert, I've already someone, leave it."
"I don't believe a word" her replied staring at her. Then he left the room.
Once alone, Cuddy took her things and went home.
Before leaving the hospital that night, Chase went back into his office. He was about to turn off the light when he saw a letter in the middle of his desk. His name was written on it, nothing else. He sat down, opened the envelope, took the paper and began reading. The writing was familiar to him, but he couldn't believe it.
"Chase, like the phoenix,I rise upfromthe ashes. Well, Iyearn for it. But to do that,Ineed your helpandyour silence. The storyis too long towrite. I'll comeat midnight tonight atyour place andI'll explain you everything. House. PS: buy beer and Chinese food"
Chase didn't know what to think. Was it a hoax? Or reality? The charred body in the building had been identified as House ... House was capable of many things, but coming back from the death ... Anyway, Chase would have the answer to his questions in about three hours. So he went home and waited patiently. At midnight, someone knocked at his door. Chase opened slowly. In front of him stood his former mentor and boss.
"House!"
"Shh. Let me in. We mustn't be seen together."
One minute later they were in Chase's living-room.
"House! You're supposed to be dead!"
"I'm not. I seized the opportunity that fate gave me to be with Wilson during the last months of his life. I had to be with him."
"What was the cause of the marks on Cuddy's lungs?"
"Chase!"
"Understand me, even if I don't see who would be crazy enough to be able to pass for you, I must make sure of your identity."
"And you think that if I answer this question that any student could answer you get a proof of my identity?! You disappoint me. Marks were caused by the antibiotic, she was allergic to it. Satisfied?"
Chase stared at House. "What do you want?"
"Do you have a beer?"
"In the fridge."
"Chinese food? 'Cause I'm hungry."
"In the kitchen"
House got up and came back two minutes later with two beers and some food.
"So here's what I intend to do and what you're going to do to help me."
"Hey! Wait a minute! Why will I help you? After all, I owe you nothing."
"Chase, I ask you as a friend."
"Oh now we are friend. I didn't know it… But why do you come back? I mean here, in Princeton."
"Because I need help. I can't simply come back and says Hello! It's me! I'm not dead. And the only people I know who are able to help me live here"
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you come to see me? Why don't you go abroad and start a new life? Maybe in Europe?"
"Because ..." House began, lowering his head and his voice.
"What do you want House?" Chase asked, fixing his former boss. House looked preoccupied. He massaged his leg and Chase could read the determination in his eyes mixed with sadness.
House slowly looked up. "I want to be happy."
"Happy? Find a girl, party!"
"Is that what you do? I don't see a girl here, nor the slightest trace of a feminine presence."
"It's not about me, House."
"Did you try with Adams?"
"No. You think it can work?"
"I don't know."
After a few minutes of silence, Chase asked: "Why do you come back House? Do you want to get your job back? Because I won't let you"
"Don't be egocentric! I'm not here to get my job back!" House cut him off … "By the way, congratulations for your promotion. Foreman took the good decision. Of course, you're not me, you don't have my genius, but you can do a good job."
"Wait a minute! I know. I know why you didn't go abroad but stay here."
"And why, in your opinion? To play with Foreman?"
"You want Cuddy, don't you? That's why you stayed in the United States. Now that Wilson is dead, you think she's the only one who can deal with you, who can make you happy. Am I wrong?" Chase asked and stared at House.
"I… I want to see her again and show her that I have changed. I want a new chance."
"You're still in love with her."
"She is… I need her in my life, Chase. She knows me and she loves me, well she loved me for who I am. Without her I don't know if I can get go through life."
"Did you see her since…?"
"Yes. In the cemetery. After Wilson's funerals. He told her about me and asked her to watch over me."
"And?"
"And what?"
"How was she? Does she still love you? Did she forgive you?"
"She was… beautiful. She wore her dark suit with a low cut top. You know how much she likes that. Patty and Selma looked good."
"Patty and Selma? Who's that?"
"Leave it. A joke between her and me."
"What did she say? How was she with you? Was she angry? Sad?"
"I don't know!"shouted House desperate. And after a while he said: "She was rather cold and distant, and at the same time, I felt that ... maybe one day we could be friends again. Do you think I'm right to want to come back in her life?"
"Don't give up, House. I didn't see Cuddy for a long time, but she loved you."
"So, you are going to help me? Or should I ask the dwarf?"
"Taub? Forget about him. He is much too busy with his two daughters and his job to just greet you. What do you want me to do?"
And House explained to Chase his plan to come back to life.