Act IV: Reasoning

10. Party Too Hard

Ferb's POV

"Ferb, get out!"

"Why?"

"I'm sick and tired of your shitty behaviour!" Phineas complained.

"What did I do?" I asked.

"Just GET OUT!" exclaimed Phineas.

"Geez; okay!"

I could smell the alcohol on his breath as I packed up my belongings. I then jumped out the window, like I've done countless times before.

Unfortunately - due to the distraction of the smell of alcohol - I wasn't paying attention to where I was going to land.

Take a guess; I landed in the prickliest bushes we had. Do you know what that feels like?

Okay, remember that time back in fifth or sixth grade when for some reason, your legs forgot how to work and you tripped and fell? Yeah, remember your entire upper body landing on your arm; spraining it? Lying down in the middle of the soccer net, getting up after a few minutes?

Yeah... that's the feel of prickly bushes.

"GET OU-"

"Okay, Phineas, geez!" I was pissed, "And stop drinking!"

"What do you-did you s-say, Fewb?!" Yep, angrily slurring his words...he's drunk, all right!

"I said-Oh, forget it!"

I ran out of the gate, down the street, and to Bella's house.

Phineas' POV

Why does everything look blurry? Why am I spinning, or is that just my head...?

I began to tip over - fall - the world spinning around me, getting darker. And then,

I passed out.

Isabella's POV

*DING-DONG*

The sound of the doorbell chimed. Lazily, I got up from bed and checked my hair.

Literally, it was all over the place.

The top frizzed out, giving me a bed-head look, while the bottom moved in all directions.

I looked like my ancestor - as my mom liked to say - Isabelock, with her hair in the humidity.

So apparently, the Phineas and Ferb of her time built the camera.

Through the photo that was passed down through generations of the Garcia-Shapiro, I could tell - through the black-and-white pixels - I did have some pretty messy hair.

Anyways, back on topic. I opened the door to find-

Ferb?

"Ferb, whatcha doin' here?" I asked.

"Is there any reason I can't be here?" he asked, jokingly.

"Good point."

He made his way in, not bothering to ask; he knew the answer was: "Yes."

He placed his belongings by the couch, and sat down on the couch beside me. I took this opportunity to ask him a few questions.

"So...why did Phineas kick you out?" I asked.

He turned to me, his eyebrow raised.

"How'd you know?"

"I mean, it's quite obvious! You wouldn't come here for no reason, right?"

Ferb winced, "Well, yes and no..."

I motioned for him to continue.

"Phineas was drunk and about to pass out; he kicked me out. And the other reason I'm here is because-" He hesitated, "Phineas and Mica..."

"Are you going to say we should find out what they're up to?" I assumed. I was probably right.

"Well, yeah...!"

Bingo!

"Let's go, then!" I started to get up from the couch.

"Wait!" Ferb shouted, "You might wish to change and fix your hair."

"Sure, just more one thing!"

"What?"

I grinned.

"No, no, no!" exclaimed Ferb. But it was too late. I used both hands to scrub his hair for a few seconds.

"My hair!" he exclaimed.

After what felt like an eternity, the Brit finally calmed down, "Got any hairspray?" he asked, kindly.

I produced a can from my pocket, handing it to him.

"Why do you keep a can of hairspray in your pocket?" he asked.

"Doesn't every girl do that?" I asked.

"No...?" Ferb gave me a funny look.

"Maybe it's just me." I decided, "I'm gonna go fix my hair."

"Kay."

A few minutes later, I was back, with my regular clothes and hairstyle; and Ferb had fixed his hair.

"Much better," the Brit commented, "Isabelock." He grinned.

"Oh, would you shut up! Let's go!"

Ferb's POV

Many dead blood cells later...

As we approached what used to be my room, I heard some very loud music coming from it. I recognized the tune immediately; it was D2J's latest hit - Party Too Hard. (A/N: Not an actual song, FYI)

At this point, we were right outside the room. We already had earplugs on, $20 a pair - the best quality earplugs you could get in Danville. It's like having a concert in your own room, except with high-enough decibels to burst your ear.

Well, yeah!

I got drunk and I partied too hard!

The next morning, I will get a hangover; fuck yeah!

The lyrics were terrible, but they still found their way into our ears.

"Hey," Bella nudged my shoulder, "the door is half-open; take a peek."

So I did.

The sight in the room was just... I turned back around, my hands and back pressed against the wall.

"That bad?" asked Bella. I nodded despairingly.

She took a peek for herself, turning back around after a second, "Yeah...I don't think this is gonna be as easy as I thought it would be...!"

When we regained our composure, we took another peek inside the room.

Phineas, obviously wasted, and Mica, on the border between tipsy and drunk; were dancing about. Phineas was occasionally crashing into things, breaking them, and, obviously, tripping from the state he was in.

So far, the antique vase was broken, there were clothes spilling out of the closet. Almost everything had been moved, and Ferb's bed, now by the window on the other side of the room, had a fist-sized hole in one of the drawers.

Phineas tripped on the carpet, falling down. He got back up and stumbled into the vase on his bedside table, both objects the only two not moved.

*POP*

The vase hit the side of the drawer on the way down, smashing into pieces and popping Phineas' boat bed.

Mica, on the other hand, handled her drunkenness much better than Phineas. She didn't crash into objects, or break things; but there was an occasional trip-and-fall.

It's only been ten, maybe fifteen minutes since I left, and this happened?! And Mother and Father aren't home?! Well, common se-Wait, is that a gun buckled onto Phineas' jeans?!

"Is that a gun hanging off Phineas' jeans?" Isabella voiced my thought.

"Yeah." I replied, "When did he have time to get a gun? I've, unfortunately, been with him constantly, not once seeing him head towards a gun shop.

Maybe he bought it a long time ago?

Phineas took out the gun and fired it, just barely missing Mica; hitting the wall beside her.

"Donut do dat, Phineas. Yurr gons hit me!" the girl slurred.

"Hehe, you said "donut". Eich wiz ips drunken sailor." Phineas slurred. I don't know where he got that last phrase, but who cares; he's drunk and has a gun!

I turned to Bella, "Okay, number one priority - our goal is not to avoid drunken Phineas,"

"It's to get the gun away from him." she finished.

"That's right." I replied, "Plan commences in three, two,"

We burst into the room, "Put your hands up and drop to the ground!" We pretended to be cops to attract their attention.

A record scratched as the music stopped.

"Ferb?" Phineas asked, "Izzy?"

"No, it's the tortoise and the hare!" I responded sarcastically.

"Whatever." I could smell the tequila on his breath, rum on Mica's.

"Mica?" Bella asked. She seemed too innocent to be dragged into this situation.

"What the fuck do you want, Isabella?"

Never mind, then.

We stood there, in silence, for a few seconds before I yelled: "Retreat!" Bella and I jumped out the window, just barely missing the prickly bushes.

Phineas' POV

Ha, those scared idiots; serves them right!

Oh, well! Let's get back to partying.

I was about to press the play button on my Bluetooth speaker to resume, but then I realized,

"My gun!"

Isabella's POV

"So, we got the gun." I said, "What's next?"

"Why are we doing this?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"This whole "group split" thing!" Ferb replied.

"If I remember, it was Buford who proposed the idea." I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I need to thank him for that."

"W-What? Why?"

"Ferb, our lives were already broken. When Buford proposed the idea, the group was crumbling; it wasn't going to last much longer.

"Think of it, Ferb! Can you imagine what our lives would be like if the group were still together?"

"I get your point, but-" Ferb started, "we just worked together! Like normal friends - best friends - and you're glad? Bella, this entire situation doesn't make any sense! This wouldn't have started if you di-"

Fed up with his rambling, I kissed him.

After a few seconds - No, more like twenty - I pulled back. Ferb was stunned.

"What was that for?" he asked.

I was about to answer, but then I slowly came to realization.

"Crap!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Ferb asked, confused.

"We forgot to get Phineas and Mica!