12. Piss, Kisses, and Crushes

Titles aren't my forte, okay?

Phineas' POV

"Uh, guys," I was slightly-No, very confused! "Where are we going?"

"I'm also wondering that," Mica said.

"You'll see when we get there," Ferb replied, darkly.

Mica and I gulped simultaneously.

"Hey," Isabella said, in a mock cheery voice, "look where we are!"

I didn't want to look up, but Ferb grabbed my deformed head and twisted it up.

"A corner?" Mica asked, her eyebrow raised. "What's so deadly about this?"

If only we had known.

"Hey Phineas," Ferb asked. "what time is it?"

"Wha-What time is it?" I repeated, slightly confused. "Gee, I don't k-Woah!"

I was pushed into the corner, and a few seconds later Mica received the same treatment. She landed on top of me. "OOF!" I exclaimed.

"Someone peed there." Isabella said.

I had a horrified look on my face for a second. Then I realized - they might just be playing a trick on me! Just to be sure, I turned around to check. "No, there i-" I froze. "Yes, there is."

Mica screamed loudly and jumped off me, hiding behind Ferb. "EWEWEWEWEWEW!" she exclaimed.

I looked up, to find Ferb and Isabella snickering. I narrowed my eyes. "It was you, Ferb. Wasn't it?"

"Mayyyybe!" Ferb sing-songed. He gave a sheepish grin and avoided eye contact. Then, I knew he was the culprit.

"Dammit, Ferb," I cursed. "You always have to make things difficult."

Mica sighed. "Now, what's the reason you brought us here?"

"Because," my brother stepped closer, taking a short pause, "because we know you two have crushes on each other."

"Ferb!" I whispered sharply. "Are you serious?" I yelled at a normal tone, and stood up, angrily.

He was about to get a piece of my mind! Well, no punches today, luckily for him.

I got as close to him as possible, without touching him. I looked up so I could see him. We weren't at eye level.

A few seconds later, he became uncomfortable, and I knew my plan was in motion.

"Uh...Phi-" Sorry, Ferb! No time to finish a sentence.

As quick as my body would allow, I planted one. No, not a plant. I mean a gooey, long, wet, and love-filled kiss. I had to make sure he enjoyed every second of it.

I heard Isabella and Mica gasp in shock and surprise, but I didn't care. Once I knew Ferb's eyes were closed, I opened mine. He was fully into it. There is a good reason I didn't make any contact with him moments before.

I swiftly and quietly, lifted up my knee, and gave him a hard blow.

I heard the "OOF!", and I knew I was good to go. I retracted my knee and gave him another one, this time in the stomach. As soon as I did this I moved out of the way. Things were about to become unpleasant.

"Ferb, you got vomit on my pants!" I heard Isabella say. I could feel her glare, even with my back turned to the three.

"Sorry," I heard Ferb mutter.

Ferb's POV

Ugh, that was the worst!

I turned to the culprit. "Phineas, what the fuck!"

"Your piss is all over my pants and shirt, and you think mine was brutal!?" Phineas countered. "I can feel your releases running down my leg!"

"Well, that's not my problem, fils de pute!"

"What?"

"It's français, monsieur! Learn it!"

Mica cleared her throat. "If I may?"

Phineas nodded, signaling her to go ahead.

"He said, and this is quite mean," She paused. " 'Fils de pute' translates into 'Son of a bitch'."

Phineas gasped. "Ferb," he whispered. "how dare you."

"Well, considering all the stuff we've been through in the past few months, that shouldn't be a surprise to anyone."

"...true."

"And if I may add," Isabella said, "we've spent this chapter arguing about piss and French."

"So, let's actually get to the point!" Mica replied. She turned to Phineas. "How long have you had this crush on me?"

Phineas' POV

I became really uncomfortable, glaring daggers into Ferb's back, just as Isabella had done a few moments ago, to him. He got me in this mess!

I sighed. "Since we met..." I muttered.

"Then that's not actually a crush,"

We all faced her, very surprised, and waiting for an explanation.

"I've had a crush on you for the longest time, ever since I first saw you in kindergarten," she explained.

I didn't move. "That long?"

"I was that one girl you didn't want to play with, since you said 'Because she looks funny!', in response to me asking. When you met me last month, I thought you had finally warmed up to me," She sighed. "And now I see I was wrong."

I felt betrayed and hurt.

"Look," I started. "I don't even remember meeting you back then!"

"Exactly," she replied, "and there's my proof! You never really loved me! If you did, maybe your so-called 'crush' could've been more! It could have been better!"

"Mica, I'm sorry-"

"-for all the things you've done to me?" Mica finished, interrupting me mid-sentence. "Sorry won't cut it, Phineas!"

Phineas was confused and worried. "What do you mean?"

"I'm done."

She walked away, not saying a word. And I just stood, heartbroken, and looking like an idiot.

Camera shifts to Ferb and Isabella.

"So," he said, "Phineas has been rejected."

"Twice."

"Oh shut up, Ferb!"