chapter 14

Tuesday. House was ready. He waited for Adams in the hall of the hospital.

"Let's go!" Chase said.

"Where's Adams?"

"She waits in the car."

"Are you coming too?"

"Yes. I guess it's better."

On the way to House's place, nobody talked. House played his role and looked at everything pretending to try to catch some signs of his past. Once in front of his building Adams parked the car, turned to House and asked: "House, any feeling of familiarity here?"

House stared at the building. He focused on a window. "I'm not sure, but that window reminds me something. I can't say it with certainty; it's just a feeling, an intuition."

"That's good" Chase added. "Let's go inside."

They got out of the car and went to House. Chase opened the door and they went in. Adams looked at House. "Do you recognize something here?"

House stared at the piano. He couldn't help but focused on it. More exactly on the photos on it. The day before, Chase came and put some photos and Cuddy's scarf on it. It was Adams 'idea. Indeed Adams suggested that Chase could put some photos of Cuddy in order to arouse House's memory. She was still a little bit jealous of Cuddy and she hoped that Chase wouldn't dare to have a relationship with her if House got his memory back. But she didn't know that Chase had Cuddy's scarf and jealousy overwhelmed her as she saw it.

"House, do you know this woman?" she asked insistent.

"I…" was all that House could say. He didn't expect to see these pictures of him and Cuddy. Many memories brought back the past and the need to see her, to be with her became unbearable. His chest ached and he had trouble breathing.

"Look at her! I'm sure you remember her." Adams kept on saying and gave House a picture of a beaming Cuddy. But House wasn't able to take it. And Adams took time to look at him. He was like in a trance. "House! Are you okay?"

Chase came to help them. "House! Do you hear me? Are you okay?" he kept on saying and led House to the couch. Then he turned to Adams: "What did you do?"

"No… Nothing, I just showed him the picture and he"

"What picture?" Chase asked rather abruptly. House is really a great actor he thought.

"This one" Adams answered. "I guess it remembers him something. Don't you think so?"

Chase gave her a look of disapproval. "House, are you okay?"

"Yes."

"House, do you remember her?" Adams asked hopeful.

House looked at Adams. "What's her name? Deep inside me I know that I know her, I feel that she had an important role in my life but I don't know which one."

"That's Lisa Cuddy" Chase said. "Does this name mean anything to you?

"Lisa Cuddy, Lisa Cuddy…" House repeated. After a while he added desperate: "I'm sorry. I don't remember yet."

"Don't worry about it. It will take some time before you get your memory back. Be patient. You've gotten off to a good start." Chase said comforting House.

"Dr. Chase is right. You shouldn't be tough on yourself, have faith, time heals all wounds."

"Maybe. I'm tired. Can you leave me alone?"

"Are you sure?"

"Adams, I think we should go now. House needs to rest. Everything's gonna be okay. See you tomorrow, House. And if you need you can call me."

"Thank you."

Adams looked at House then at Chase and decided to follow him. Once in the car, Chase asked her: "Why were you so vehement? Is something bothering you?"

"No, no… It's just that I wanted to help him." She replied blushing.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Oooooooooo

Tuesday evening. Cuddy's mind was focused the whole day on House. He got out of the hospital today. She wished she could have been there to take him to his place. But it was impossible. For many reasons. First, she didn't live anymore in Princeton. Second, the day he destroyed her living-room she said she never want to see him anymore. Of course it wasn't true today, but for all the people who knew her it was a fact. Without to say that for all of them House was supposed to be dead. And yes, it was the third reason: House pretended to be amnesic to avoid jail and nobody officially told her about his "resurrection", so she wasn't suppose to know about it. For all this she didn't have time to find a good reason to avoid the dinner with her sister and she was now driving to her place. She took Robert at his place and he was now sitting in the passenger seat and tried to make friends with Rachel. He was determined to show the little girl that he was a funny guy, that he was even better than House. Indeed Robert thought that if the children, and especially Rachel, got along well with him, if they liked him, so he could easily touch Cuddy and win her heart. But he had to admit that for the moment his efforts weren't rewarded.

"Rachel, what's your favorite cartoon?"

"The Pirats"

"Oh hu, I guess it's pretty cool." Rachel's answer left him somewhat dismayed. "Do you like SpongeBob?" he added a minute later.

"No."

"And …" Robert tried to find something else. Then he saw Rachel's plush monkey. "What's the name of your monkey? It's really nice."

"Greg"

"Nice name." Robert said and looked at Cuddy. A sad smile played on her lips. It took Robert about one minute to understand why. House's first name. It would obviously be harder than he had first thought. But he was determined to do his best and to win Cuddy's heart no matter how long it would take. He was crazy in love with her and he was willing to wait. He knew he had no competitor. At least no living competitor. What could be worse because who could compete with a ghost? Anyway, he was ready to fight for his sweetheart.

"Okay. Let's have dinner." Cuddy said and parked the car in front of Julia's house. She observed Robert's efforts to get closer to Rachel and found him cute. Of course she knew why he did it, but still it was cute.

"Hello Lisa, Rachel, Ethan and… " Julia said as she opened the door.

"David, I'm David. Nice to meet you Julia. If you allow me to call you Julia." Robert replied with a big smile.

"Welcome David. I'm so happy to meet you. Come in."

And a long evening began for Cuddy. David and Julia talked a lot what suited Cuddy who wasn't in the mood to talk. All she could think about was House. They seemed to get along very well. Robert was smart, cute and a smooth talker. He perfectly knew what to say or do to captivate his entourage. As for Julia, she was so happy that finally her sister had a boyfriend that she was doing everything to please this one. Nobody mentioned House or Cuddy's past. The atmosphere was quite friendly and playful. Cuddy alone felt a bit nostalgic and bitter. She looked at Robert and felt sad. It could have been House here tonight by her side. She craved to call him. But she couldn't. She wished he could be there. She needed him. Robert was a nice guy, she knew he truly loved her but she desperately wanted House. She was under House's spell, not under Robert's. The sad part about it was that she would certainly be happier with Robert. He was someone you could rely on. She really had to forget House. She really had to give Robert his chance, he deserved it. "Yes, I'm gonna do that" she tried to convince herself. They drank some coffee in the living-room and Cuddy tried to worm some information about the mysterious weekend out of Robert but he said nothing, no matter what she said. Finally, Cuddy managed to convince Robert and Julia that it was already late and that they had to go home. Cuddy was going out when Julia held her by the arm and whispered with a smile: "HE IS the one for you, Lisa! I'm so happy for you! Don't screw up with him. He is perfect."

"Yes. Thank you for the dinner, Julia." Cuddy replied a bit embarrassed. She knew why Julia told her that. It was referring to her failed relationships and especially to House. Cuddy had really thought it could work. And she wasn't the only one. Even her mother was convinced that House and Cuddy were made for each other. On her own way she even tried to make them come back together. But it was too late. They had ruined everything. And their pride had prevented them from taking the first step toward each other to try to rebuild a relationship.

"What are you thinking of, Lisa?" Robert asked her in the car.

"Nothing. I'm just tired." Robert nodded wondering what could bother Cuddy.

"Your sister is really sweet. I think she likes me."

"Yes, I think so. You talked a lot together. May I know what you were talking about?"

"We talked about a few ins and outs."

"Are you coming over?" she asked hesitating. She hadn't finished her sentence that she already regretted having said it. I had to give him a chance, she once again tried to convince herself. You can rely on him, he won't let you down. You'd be more secure with him than with House. No surprise… But common is boring. Sadness overwhelmed her suddenly. She remembered when she told this to House. House, I miss you so much.

"Yes" he replied softly. It was definitely difficult to understand Cuddy. She would always surprise him. But one thing was for sure, he wasn't going to miss the opportunity to spend the night with her. And yet… "Beep! Beep!"

"Damnit!"

"What?" she asked hoping he was needed at the hospital.

"One of my patients is getting worse." He replied upset.

"You should go."

"Wait a second! Dr. Rosniawski owes me. I could phone him and"

"No. It's your patient. You have to go." Cuddy replied firmly. Deep in her heart she was happy and relieved. She didn't want to spend another night with Robert. Of course, half an hour ago she decided to give them a chance, a real chance, but she knew she was just fooling herself. She wasn't in love with Robert. And never will be. She liked him but… that was all. He could be a good friend, a "boyfriend for one night" but nothing more. At least as far as she was concerned. "I'm horrible, I'm a bitch" she thought with bitterness and disgust. But to go on with this fake relationship wasn't fair neither for Robert nor for her. He deserved someone better than she was, someone he could trust, someone who loved him, not someone who thought that to be with him was better for her and her family despite the fact that she didn't love him. She was in love but not with Robert. No matter what she could say or do it wouldn't change. She was made for House and House was made for her. She had hoped that if she met a nice guy, funny, smart, good looking, she could fall in love and forget House. But it was just a dream, an illusion. And she knew it now. House was her man. And she was his. Forever. Nothing could ever change that. Even if they couldn't live together, it had to be.

"But we"

"No, David. You have to go to the hospital. I drive you."

Robert looked at her disappointed. He knew she was right. They could have other nights together whereas his patient had just one life. But… was it an imperceptible gleam of joy and relief in Cuddy's eyes? Robert had a heavy heart as he got out of the car.

"I'll call you" he said.

Once at home, Cuddy put the children to bed. She was about to leave Rachel's room when the little girl told her: "Mommy, when does House come back?"

"Oh Rachel, I've told you he'd" she was about to say he'd never be back but she knew it wasn't true. That's why she finally said: "I don't know. It's… complicated. Have a good night, sweetie." and Cuddy kissed her daughter on the forehead.

"I don't like David. I want House." Rachel replied looking seriously at her mother. Cuddy felt disconcerted. What could she say?