Chapter 3- Lost

Levi's POV-First year of military finished-only 13 years old, going back in time

Stupid army, fuck the cell, fuck the bald guy. Wait, no scratch that. Ugh, Keith's gayness is rubbing off on me. The only good thing about this shitty training is my new, colorful vocabulary all thanks to those bastards swearing every minute. They yell at us all day. They tell us to run and fetch something, then they snatch it out of my hands and throw it. I am not a damn dog. When can I get out of here? I still have 9 more years to get through, great, just great. I have trained tirelessly everyday, my maturity exceeds those of higher ranking, and I am a natural with the 3D maneuver gear. I work on my speed everyday so I can beat anyone to the lunch line. I also happen to be on of the best in my squad so far. What else is there to do? Everything is becoming boring again and I have fallen into a bloody routine. Everyone snores in the dorms, no one dare tries to spar me, and any person squawking about my height is easily pummeled to the ground. I love telling them, 'who is looking down on who now?'

3 years later-16 years old

I have abs, I am an ace at the maneuver gear, and I am the fastest in my squad. My blasted height barely increased and I am finally graduating. I can challenge myself now if I join the survey corps. Stupid Hanji is my only acquaintance. Her stupid glasses always reflect the sun into my face. Of course she joined the survey corps also, dammit. My thoughts still drift to _ and Keith, hoping I can return soon. Over the next few years, I train even harder in order to become better and better at destroying those shit-faced titans. I keep counting the years, making sure I am not doing over-time for the crimes of my past. I still rebelled back in my trainee years. Those stupid squad leaders wouldn't shut up about height so they got what was coming to them. Hanji was usually amused by my outrage and tantrums. She was not as fast as me but she still outsmarted me by using various objects to slow me down. She gained knowledge of my interests by becoming one of my only friends. She often reminds me of _ as well. I hope to return home soon.

5 years later-21 years old-only one year left to serve for crimes

Erwin, the commander of the survey corpse, called me, forever a rookie, to his office early in the morning. Yawning, I knock on his door, and get a shuffling of papers in response. I wait for the bastard to come and open the locked door. His loud footsteps approach the door and I greet him with a salute and a formal good morning. He opens the door more and lets me in. I follow him to his desk, he gestures for me to sit in wooden chair facing him. As soon as I am seated he tosses a pile of papers toward. I glance at the pile and then back at him.

He smirks and I glare back, "Fill this out." I knew it was a command, not really a choice.

"Why, sir?" I can't believe I'm actually intrigued by this stack of pressed wood. Curiosity always got the best of me. I never really trusted paperwork, it always seemed to benefit one side, not mine.

"It is an application to become a Captain for the survey corps and who knows maybe one day you'll be promoted to corporal and raise your own squad." Erwin laughed at his own joke but saw me glaring at him. I could not believe this, the nerve of him doubting my already closely perfected skills. If only looks could kill, I would have been slowly torturing him. I glared at the paperwork again and then back my superior. I snatched up the stupid contract and signed every line with a careless autograph. I abruptly stood up, saluted, and excused myself. Before I could step two feet, I hear his desk chair squeak as he also quickly stands up.

"Sit down, Cadet." His voice stern, his eyes piercing my soul, and daring me take another step. I slowly took my seat again and eyed him intently, wondering what else is there that he could want. He already took 9 years of my life.

"Why do you hate the military, Levi?" I flinch at my name. No one has called me that. Not for a long time. I was always called cadet, maggot, or other random insults. No on has spoken my name ever since I left my family. I still remember their faces clearly as if I just greeted them yesterday.

Why? There are so many reasons. "Why do you think I hate the military, sir?" I already knew the answer to my own question. I could easily remember my rebellious stage during my trainee years. He scoffs at my ridiculous question. He gives me a look that says, I think you know why. I smirk, thinking over my answer and try to make it sound reasonable.

"It began when I just a child. My parents and my best friends' parents abandoned us to join the military. They never came back, they never asked if I would be ok, or if I would still love them. I had a poor childhood, only my two best friends kept me going. My hatred began to grow as I began my criminal streak when I got caught my first few times, earning a lovely beating from each officer. The last time I got caught was 9 years ago. They dragged me across half of the town. I could see my blood trailing underneath my feet as they yanked my collar higher, letting my back get roughed up by the rocky floor. I was literally tossed into a cell, while I ate shi-I mean moldy bread and drank muddy water for a week, they dined right across from my door with meats and potatoes. I was taken away from my two best friends, my only family. I was offered the military service for ten years or a boring cell for the same amount. Once arriving, I was beaten up, bullied, teased about my height. Without my family, I have no motivation, no desire to get better, and no strive whatsoever. I feel empty on the inside and no training can ever fill it." I feel my tears beginning to build up. I tried to hold them back but my thoughts went back to _ and Keith. I blink and the tears slide down my face.

"You should not let others see your emotions. It is a sign of weakness." He calmly speaks even after hearing my sob story.

"Sorry, sir." I quickly rubbed my eyes and awaited for him to continue.

"You should still motivate yourself to become stronger, faster, and smarter for your family. If your family is worth loving, than they are worth fighting for. You may already hold them dear in your heart but that doesn't keep them alive. No one knows how long Wall Maria will actually last so I suggest getting your shit together and strive to be your absolute best. With your devotion and love toward you beloved family, you could possibly do anything." Erwin finishes his pep talk and slightly smiles at me. I know I have to conceal my emotions to appear stronger but my eyes and the beating of my heart betray me.

"Yes, sir!"