"Hey Komui, am I clear to leave now?" Allen's question was rather expected; she'd been fidgeting most of the morning and had already stayed in the infirmary for three days. (Counting the full day she had been put under in an attempt to actually get her to rest properly.)
"Allen, you're all clear to go. But do me a favor and take care of yourself, Lenalee will give you the things for your new place, whenever you're ready go ahead and move in." Komui takes a sip from his coffee and continues, "We really can't lose you Allen, also you'll be mentoring Kanda until he's ready to go on his own- Lena is taking care of Lavi."
Was the world really against her, making her in charge of fucking Kanda? Really, she fucking hated the guy and she had to be his mentor. Which means that he would have to spend a large amount of time in her new house, (She still wasn't used to the idea of actually having a house of her own, she makes a note to begin packing up when she got back home.) because of the training room that would no doubt be occupying a very large basement. There were also all the technical things she'd need to teach him, exorcism wasn't just fighting akuma. It was something that had to perfected, otherwise it could go completely wrong. It often did anyway, despite the perfection.
"Do I really have to be Kanda's mentor Komui, can't Lena and I switch please?" Allen pleads.
"I'm sorry Allen, I know how horribly you two get along, but we really need you to get him ready as quickly as you can- and Lenalee can't do that. I've heard rumors of the Noah and I'm afraid the rumors are from trusted people- we need all the help we can get." Komui's statement fills Allen with dread; she didn't quite know why she had such a strong aversion to the Noah beyond the normal reasons. But she did, and they terrified her.
"Hey Lavi, what're you doing here?" Allen was rather surprised when she opened the door to her apartment to find that both Lavi and Kanda were already inside, and had apparently made themselves comfortable judging from the state of the kitchen.
"We are here, Allen dearest- to help you move!" Lavi's admission makes Kanda groan loudly from his place on the couch. (He was apparently petting Moshi, to Moshi's great delight)
Lavi's words also made Allen, very, very frightened. "Just how long have you been in here?" she asks.
"A few hours, not too long- hope you don't mind but I got hungry. Also I brought a pickup. For moving purposes." Lavi looks sheepishly towards the trashed kitchen.
"You know I could probably get most of the stuff over in two trips right? The all the furniture except the bed came with the place." She didn't voice that the bed was just an air mattress on the floor, it really wasn't their business.
Lavi gapes, and glances around a bit, and closes his mouth with a snap. "But I do need to pick up furniture eventually if you want to help with that." This makes the wilted Lavi perk back up and a very annoyed (but contented somehow? Allen would have never taken him to be a cat person) Kanda roll his eyes.
"What do you sleep on anyway, since you apparently can fit it on that wreck of a car?" Kanda asks.
"Well if you are so curious go look for yourself." Kanda doesn't take her up on her offer but apparently Lavi was just as curious. He opens the door to her bedroom and just stares, which causes Kanda to stand (much to Moshi's disappointment, though he was carrying her still so she didn't voice that displeasure) and look as well.
"You sleep on a fucking air mattress. With a blanket. On the floor. You don't even have more than one fucking pillow?" Kanda is the one to regain his voice and composure first, being that Lavi was still staring offended at her tiny room.
"Why yes. Its actually a much better bed than I've had most of my life, so I am perfectly content." Allen replies sarcastically- it was actually the best bed she's had if you don't count the bed in the infirmary or the bed she slept when she first ended up at the black order. Most of the time she spent with Cross she had had to sleep on the floor, with Mana they were in a circus for goodness sake.
"Come on fuckface." Kanda drags Allen (who winces internally as he had grabbed her newly repaired left arm) out of the apartment, which Lavi is left to lock up and down to the car, glaring and tapping a foot until a frazzled Lavi stumbles out of the apartment building.
Kanda doesn't say anything, just puts his hand out for the keys that Lavi reluctantly gives him, and just waits for the other two to get into the truck before climbing in himself and starting up the engine. Luckily, it had two rows of seating; Allen really didn't want to sit between Kanda and Lavi.
Kanda pulls to a stop in the mall parking lot, and leads them into a department store. "Fucking get shit. It's on me and the rabbit." Allen glances at Lavi, who shrugs.
"Our families are rich, adopted and stuff. Adopted Asian buddies!" Throwing an arm around the very annoyed Kanda, Lavi continues in a dramatic whisper. "Or the AAB for short you know."
Allen just stares at them blankly, trying to process everything. Lavi was Asian? He really didn't look it but Allen wasn't one to question that sort of thing. Groaning loudly in a rather exaggerated manner Kanda drags the bewildered Allen through the store, having her pick out things at every stop. Allen was really starting to piss him off. How on earth can you fucking live like that?
Kanda had seen firsthand how much money the beansprout could rake in, what happened to it so that the man couldn't even afford decent bedding?
It was also starting to get annoying, for beansprout when given the option would choose out things in black, red, and silver and on one occasion a comforter that was fucking clown themed.
When all was said and done the back of the pickup was nearly filled, since Walker didn't have anything. He'd pay for his own fucking bed, Kanda wasn't fronting that bill too.
"Hey Allen, where does all that money you get gambling go?" Lavi asks suddenly, Kanda tries to pretend he doesn't care as much as he does. The fucking beansprout didn't make any sense whatsoever, but he wasn't one to stoop as low as to actually ask him why. You don't ask things like that to people you hate.
"You've heard of Cross right?" At Lavi's nod Allen continues, "Well Cross was pretty much the human form of demon. He was amazing at his job but a pretty horrible person all said and told. He rakes up thousands in debts, which he then dumps on me."
Oh. So the fucking beansprout was paying off this Cross guy's debts eh? "Just how much does he owe right now?" Lavi was on a roll today, getting all the questions in Kanda's head out for him. Kanda makes a note to not beat him up unless there was a very good reason for the rest of the day.
"Eh, well before I had to deal with that akuma he sent another bill, I think it was 15,000? Its already paid off but it left my bank account dry. I don't know, there've been some for upwards of 70,000. That's why I got good at cheating." The figures Allen list out make even Kanda gape. What the fuck was Cross doing throwing around that much money- that was more than some people made in a year!
"Why do you deal with that Allen?" Lavi asks, his voice soft. Lavi really didn't understand, he knew Allen was too nice- he also knew Allen could hold his own though.
"I have literally no documentation whatsoever, no birth certificate, no legal name- nothing. Cross takes care of the fake documents for me, if I pay off his debts. Its not like I'm not used to it, back when I was his apprentice he'd throw me to his debt collectors as bait." Allen replies.
Both men in the car are struck at just how little they know about Allen Walker. Lavi more so than Kanda, how did a gutter rat get here, dressed and living like a man because she didn't feel safe as a woman? Even though Lenalee had told him she still considers herself female, she just doesn't feel at all safe being one. And everyone humored her because what could they do? Hurt someone who's been shit on her entire life more?
"Hey Allen, who the fuck are you? You can't tell us this shit you're saying is true." There, its out. Kanda's words take both Lavi and Allen by surprise. Kanda was just too curious, and had to open his big fucking mouth. God he hated Allen, he hated him so fucking much but he couldn't fucking get him out of his mind.
"I don't know." Managing to keep her head level and tone civil Allen continues. "It's true, I can tell you that. But I don't know anything, I was on the streets until I turned seven, when Mana adopted me. Age twelve Mana died and Cross took me in as an apprentice, then he dumped me off at the order when I was 15, been moving around ever since."
No wonder she didn't have anything in her house except the essentials, Allen Walker had just outlined the major events in her life with a dry emotionless voice that told of horrors Lavi couldn't even imagine. No one said a word as Lavi and Allen walked up to her apartment (Kanda staying in the car because he didn't trust the area and he was entirely too pissed at everything to even think about leaving the car.)
Allen, opening the door to the apartment ushers Lavi through the door. "Since you made a mess of the kitchen you get to clean it up." She commands. Allen herself, went back to her room straight off, and brought out several collapsed boxes. "Clean dishes go here, there is newspaper underneath the sink, food goes here." She says, indicating with a hand to different boxes.
"Okay. Fair enough beansprout." Lavi responds, ruffling Allen's hair.
"So are you going to call me that now too? You know my name. Its Allen. N." Allen says, a scowl on her face.
"Yup." Lavi states proudly, jumping out of Allen's reach. Then, before Allen could get any more angry he gets around to cleaning and packing up the kitchen.
She hadn't been kidding, there was hardly anything, and odd assortment of mismatched dinnerware and worn cooking utensils.
In reality, most of Allen's belongings consisted of clothing. And boots. Damn that woman had a little collection going, white, black, silver, brown- even a pair of red ones. And they weren't just those boots that went up to the ankle, no some of these were the clear up past your knees sort of boots that must have cost a fortune. (Based off the fact that they were actually very, very good quality.)
She also wouldn't let Lavi touch the large bin containing her footwear. Saying something along the line that she didn't trust him with it and that Lavi would ruin them. They both took turns taking out the boxes and bags, lugging them out to near where Kanda had parked. Lastly Allen runs in and grabs Moshi and a flying metal ball she called Timcampy.
"That it or are we going to be here forever?" Kanda is really getting annoyed, he's confused as well. Fucking beansprout, what is with him? Tragic back story and all but (Kanda himself had been adopted after his parents were killed, and had been living rather happily with a wealthy family ever since) there was something Kanda couldn't place. Everything the man did annoyed him to some degree, but there was also some part fascination behind his gaze. He could laugh so easily, and lie with just as much effort. It was a mystery.
"That's it arsehole." replied Allen, she was tired, she wanted to sleep and eat something but she was in the middle of a freaking move and wouldn't even have a couch to crash on, not that she minded the floor. She didn't really think her friends would let her sleep on that air mattress anymore, they'd said they would go out for furniture in a few days (after Allen had the chance to collect enough funds) but she didn't think they'd mind at least one night on a freaking air mattress.
Lavi notes with amusement that she didn't dump the bin full of footwear in the pickup bed, instead setting it on the seat beside her. Everyone was silent as Kanda drove, glaring at the road of course, towards Allen's new house. (How he had gotten the address neither Lavi nor Allen could guess.)
Her new home wasn't exactly a small house, two floors with three bedrooms. The basement had, as she had been expecting converted into a training room. It was distinctly odd thinking about it, a house to herself. A normal sized house, a house painted a dull cream color, with a tree situated in front of the porch. She even had a small backyard; though what she'd do with it she hadn't the faintest clue.
Lavi had gotten excited for some reason, saying it was near his place (and Kanda's, though he didn't think telling that Allen that would be a good idea.) He also didn't think that telling her that the house across the street and two houses down was his and Kanda's. (They were roommates, since their families got tired of them trashing the family homes and this place was closer to the collage.)
The two men help Allen carry her things inside, and then watched her wander around aimlessly since she didn't quite know what to do with the space. Finally after some thought she chose which room would be hers and carefully places her bin of shoes in the closet. (Really, it was sort of hilarious to Lavi just how protective she was of those shoes. Though after thinking just how much they must have cost and the sheer number of them he kept his mouth shut.)
Yuu Kanda was confused, utterly and completely confused. And confusion made him angry, the unknown made him angry. It was a habitual sort of thing, developed after years and years and cemented by an already hotheaded and pessimistic personality.
He was angry because the beansprout's new house was on the same street as his; in fact it was less than a five minute walk away. He was angry at the fact that the fucking pea brained man couldn't make up his mind, wandering in circles around the house. If it hadn't been for the beansprout's cat he probably would have throttled the guy.
He liked cats though, cats didn't hide behind masks, but they were less straightforward than dogs. They were discreet, took their time before deciding on whether or not they liked a person, something that Kanda saw as good. There wasn't any use in keeping animals around you that would make friends with any old person, despite personality.
Allen Walker's cat was actually a fabulous cat, though Kanda would never tell him as much. A beautiful white and black spotted little girl, according to Allen her name was Moshi. Why the fuck the beansprout had named a cat after food, Kanda had no idea.
He also wondered why Allen Walker continued to work as an exorcist despite all of it, if it was Kanda he would've just quit by now. It was stressful, and got you hurt for what? Why did you fucking exorcize the demons, for what reason did it make it worth it? Yes, they killed people, but people died every single day, what was a person to be murdered by an akuma compared to that?
Why did Allen fucking Walker fight like this, why did he live like this? Why did he bother fighting things that most people didn't even believe existed? And why did Kanda let himself get caught up in all of this shit, the fighting demons and ridding the world of 'evil'.
"Beansprout, why do you fight them?" He asks, since obviously the fucking rabbit wasn't going to ask for him.
"Akuma? Because I want to save people- I'd rather it was me that got hurt than someone else killed and eaten." Allen responds while putting away food.
So that was it. Saving other people, typical. And it disgusted Kanda, where was self preservation? Why did he do that people he'd never met before? Why did he give up all semblance of a normal life for this?
"Hey Allen, I'm gonna head home now. Since you don't have a bed yet you can crash on the couch at our place. Yuu will walk you over." Lavi says from the door, so the fucking rabbit was going to leave him here. He still hasn't gotten it through his thick skull that Kanda was to be called Kanda and not fucking Yuu. Again, that was typical of him, as was the fact that Allen was apparently invited to spend the night. Lavi also seemed to live for putting Kanda and beansprout in the same room, probably because he found the fighting entertaining.
It annoyed Kanda, because the reason they fought so much was because, hell he didn't even know. That happy go lucky face that Allen put on for the world annoyed him, the fact that he was able to help people he'd never met without questioning anything irked him. He
couldn't do that, he didn't want to. He wanted to stay alive, it didn't matter if someone else got killed because they were stupid, it wasn't his problem and it didn't bother him at all.
She could feel her heart against her chest, it hurt so much. Each breath felt like fire against her throat, but she couldn't stop now. She couldn't, so she kept going. They surrounded her, trying to take her under their control. But they couldn't, they already killed number 5, her best friend.
They killed her and it was their fault! It was their fault that she was the last one, it was their fault she was all alone and was going to die here. A scream breaks through her lips, a shrill desperate scream…
"Fuck beansprout, wake up. Some of us are trying to fucking sleep." Kanda grows, shaking Allen awake. He had woken up to his screaming like a fucking little girl. And he wouldn't fucking stop, he'd been here for ten minutes trying to get him to get the fuck awake but he kept screaming and thrashing around.
Lavi was absolutely useless, useless. Fucking rabbit just kept standing there in the doorway just staring at the whole thing.
Suddenly Allen's eyes open, and he sits up quickly knocking his head into Kanda's in the process.
Eyes glazing over with anger, Kanda manages to speak. "I. Am. Going. To. Fucking. Kill YOU!" He screams.
Lavi quickly intercepts Kanda on his warpath. "Yuu it was an accident no need to get violent okie dokie?" He says while patting Allen's head protectively.
"Tch. Why the fuck were you screaming?" Kanda asks, a scowl on his face.
"Nothing." Allen replies, trying to smile but failing. She felt like crying, and her heart and head heart. She didn't even remember what the nightmare was about, her head wouldn't let her remember.
"Well don't do it again or I will get Mugen and I will use it on you." Kanda quips before turning heel and walking back to his bedroom. Allen watches him, rather fascinated with his hair as it wasn't put up for once and apparently went past his butt.
"Like what you see beansprout?" Lavi whispers to Allen, a broad smile on his face. Allen thought it odd, he had obviously just gotten out of bed but he was still wearing that eye patch of his.
"No. Don't even think about that, god no!" Burying her head into the pillow she had been using she feels her face heat up. It wasn't her fault Kanda was attractive god damn it! She hated him, he was the absolute worse person she had ever had the misfortune of meeting.
"Mmhmm. I think the beansprout is lying. Don't worry, he thinks you're cute so you may have a chance at that prickly piece'o ass." Lavi smirks, an odd sight with his eye patch, messy hair and outfit consisting solely of his boxers.
"Lavi, you know what? Shut up, shut up and never talk again. Please, do the world a favor." Allen pleads, her face growing even warmer.
"Nah, don't think I will. The world loves me too much and would sorely miss my sparkling wit." Lavi replies, his smirk widening. Allen was just too cute, really.
"What are you looking for anyways beansprout?" Lavi asks, goofing off on the cart as they walked down the aisles of the hardware store.
"Lavi feet on the floor for the love of god please." Allen pleads, this wasn't going her way at all. Kanda was somewhere arguing with a poor sales associate over something (she'd stopped paying attention after fifteen minutes)
"But its funnn, don't be a poop beansprout." Lavi whines.
"Lavi. Stop please or I will go and get Kanda over here and make you stop. Please, I really don't want to pay damages. And we are looking for paint rollers, and brushes. Then we'll head over to the paint counter." Allen replies, highly tempted to bury her head in her hands, she would but it'd probably smear her makeup and that wouldn't be a good thing at all.
"Fine." Reluctantly Lavi places his feet back on the ground. He figured he should humor Allen at least a little, he suspected she hadn't really slept much at all since that incident where she woke up the house by screaming. And that had been two days ago.
She picks out her colors, warm tones for the downstairs she said and cooler for the up. Lavi really would have rather her pick out fun colors, orange or bright blue perhaps, but she looked too tired to argue with him.
She had already dragged them all through Ikea for her furniture, and through multiple thrift stores. This was, according to her the last stop. Which was probably a good thing, because Yuu was running thin on patience- Lavi had a feeling a lot of it had to do with little Allen.
"Hey guys want to help me paint?" Allen asks; a smile on her face. She and Lenalee had already bribed the guys into taking the furniture in (Kanda wasn't happy about that, he'd had to make three trips back and forth to Ikea and back)
"Yuu can do it. I have stuff to do- you know a life and friends and wonderful woman to woo- you know the thing?" Lavi drawls, leaning on the side of the pickup.
"I'm not going to fucking help paint. Do it yourself beansprout." Kanda growls.
"My name is Allen. ALLEN. We've known each other what, two months now? At least? Why can't you remember that or is there something wrong with your brain?" Allen retorts.
"I only take note of the names of people who matter. You don't." Kanda smirks.
That was the last fucking straw. Last fucking straw and Kanda Yuu was going to pay. Reaching into that secret place inside she keeps her other self, the one who gambles, cheats and has sloppy make outs with strangers, she slips inside letting that part of her take over. "You fucking dick. Worthless pathetic excuse of a fucking testicle." Reaching to the can of paint she had just opened Allen takes the stirring stick and flicks the paint off it. Directly in Kanda's hair.
Lavi thought he was going to die. Like seriously, he thought he was going to die. And Jesus Christ Allen was scary when she wanted to be. Flicking paint at Kanda, did she have a death sentence? Kanda was wearing a glare that had actually sent people into a dead faint before, though Allen didn't look phased at all.
"You fucking-" Kanda makes a motion with his wrist and out pops his innocence. He called it Mugen of all things.
At this development Allen goes on warpath. Sort of, Lavi was highly tempted to kill himself right now because he never, ever wanted to see the look on her face again. It was fucking terrifying, he had to keep reasoning with himself. But he couldn't move, because god damn it this was going to get interesting.
"Deactivate it right. Now." She states, a simple smile on her face that nearly chilled even Kanda to the bone.
"You've gone fucked up Yuu." Lavi whispers to no one in particular.
Allen walks down the steps of her porch, and takes the blade of Mugen in her left hand carefully- not touching the razor sharp edges. "You will never, I repeat never pull that shit again. Innocence is for demons, don't even think about pulling it on your comrades dumbass." Allen's voice is soft, and held authority that Lavi never knew she even could command. And apparently neither did Kanda, as he deactivates Mugen right away and stalks away, picking up the bucket of paint and taking it inside.
Allen sighed, exhausted. Switching herself like that always took a lot out of her, but she reaches back and brings back her regular self. The one who usually fronts, it scared her at times. Sometimes she couldn't find it, she'd be there drifting in between different selves until it finally was ready to come back.
She never told anyone about this, alternating between different Allen Walkers when she needed to. She didn't say a word, that the person who comes out to play poker isn't the same one who works at a coffee shop, and the Allen who played the piano was someone completely different. The one thing that really transferred over was her song, the one Lenalee called a lullaby.
It was hard, not remembering things a lot. So she took notes, or at least tried to when a different self was up front. Sometimes she could remember, most of the time she could remember what went on when another self was up front. But the times she couldn't… She represses a shudder.
It scared her, so she didn't say anything. Because things that scare you, scare you to the bone could be used against you. You can't trust anyone with that sort of thing, just like she couldn't trust people with her sex. Distrust disguised by trust is how she got through life, because she wanted to trust, she really did. Allen just couldn't, she couldn't on the level that people wanted her to. She couldn't put something like that in someone else's hands, they'd throw her away too.
That's sort of how life goes. Finally, she finds her usual self, and coaxes her back to the front carefully. There, all in place, ready to go deal with Kanda again at least.
I am so, so sorry if this skips around too much for you guys :(
Also, I think I'm going to be incorporating some darker themes, if there is a chance it might trigger any of you I will put a warning at the beginning of the chapter, then a line where the triggering part should end. I'll also do a brief clear cut as I can summery of that part at the end so you can catch the grasp of what happened if reading it was too much for you guys.
Also, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed so far- I love them. And feel free to say if anyone is too OOC or something (Though I'm writing Allen in a very specific way based off of things that happen sooner or later)
And again, thank you guys so, so, so, so much- and please review!
Aariah out~~