The museum was cold and unforgiving after closing. Bucky wasn't even sure why he was there, to be honest. It's not like he hadn't seen the exhibit on his past more than a hundred times. It was just that every time he went to see it, he found a new memory he'd forgotten. A new piece of his life with Steve was revealed, and he needed them all to be whole again. He wanted to be whole again.
Sitting on the bench in front of the old uniforms, he just let himself remember. The first time he saw Steve, how they became friends, when they fell in love, being captured and thinking only about how he'd never see Steve again... it was all painful but he felt in needed to be remembered. It was something they could never give back. Bucky could never deserve Steve again; he'd done too many bad things.
He was studying Steve's old suit (which had been returned to the museum after their confrontation), he remembered the first time he ever saw color.
Steve held out his hand to help Bucky up off of the floor after the class ended. Phys Ed had been brutal that day, and they were both completely exhausted. Watching Steve argue with the teacher when he'd incorrectly assumed that Bucky had started the latest string of fights had given him new admiration for his best friend (and detention for both of them, but what was new?). The second their hands touched, the world seemed to explode.
"What's wrong, Buck? You okay?" Steve asked, concerned. He didn't see anything different than normal, clearly, but... Bucky could see a new rainbow of colors that he'd never experienced before.
"I'm fine. Just tired, I guess. Head rush," he said, shrugging it off and taking his hand back, relieved when the colors were gone and things were normal again.
"Okay... if you say so," Steve shrugged. They walked out of the classroom together silently, Bucky thinking and Steve giving him some distance.
Bucky smiled, thinking about how long it'd taken him to admit that he could see colors. Almost six months passed where he'd find the strangest reason to have physical contact with Steve, and even after he admitted to seeing color he wouldn't tell him who the lucky "lady" was. Back then it was illegal to be homosexual, and he wouldn't bring Steve down with him. Not when he fought so hard to protect him from everything. It wasn't too much of a stretch to protect him from this unwanted emotion.
His army uniform caught his eye and he frowned. Joining had been the hardest thing he'd ever done. He'd known that in enlisting he would be leaving Steve probably for good.
"Name?" the officer asked, boredom clear in his tone.
"James Barnes," Bucky replied, keeping his own voice steady. He was ready for this. He'd been trying to talk himself out of it for weeks, and it was time to enlist before he lost his nerve completely.
"Age?" the officer asked, glancing up.
"Twenty," he said. The officer nodded and finished the paperwork, stamping it with the acceptance.
"Welcome to the army, kid," he said, looking up long enough to give a completely unreassuring smile. Bucky nodded and took his slip, leaving the office to find Steve.
Steve was exactly where he expected him to be; down by the river sketching. Bucky stood back just watching him for several minutes, trying to work up the courage to tell his best friend he'd be leaving. Finally he walked over and sat down right beside him.
"How long have you been out here without anyone around? You've gotta be freezing, Steve, it's cold out," he said, mostly teasing.
"Just a couple hours. I'm not cold, and I'm almost finished. How did you know I'd be out here?" Steve responded after a few seconds, not even looking up from his sketchbook.
"Lucky guess. I know you better than anyone," he replied, looking out over the water, into the trees beyond. "You know how we always talked about enlisting when we got the chance?"
"Yeah. Changed our minds though, remember? I'm too "sickly", and you didn't want to leave me behind," Steve said, finally looking over at him. He hesitated.
"Well, I went and enlisted today," he said quietly. Steve stared at him, eyes wide. Bucky could see the hurt in them, and he had to look down. "I want to help, Steve. They need all the men they can get. And you'll be safe over here."
"But you won't be safe over there. You know I'm going to enlist now too. We're supposed to look out for each other, Buck!" Steve protested, getting angry.
"And this is me looking out for you. I promise I'll come back, but this is something I need to do. You're not going to lose me; I'm with you to the end of the line, remember? This is just a small swerve in the road. I'll be back before you know it," he promised, looking up to meet Steve's eyes.
He remembered his training and how harsh it had been. All necessary, of course. And getting captured. He was never worried for himself. The whole time they were torturing and experimenting, he could only think of that promise, and how he was breaking it every day. He was never going to make it back to Steve.
And then Steve had shown up and saved his life! Bucky rubbed his temples, a headache building up. Remembering always hurt after a bit. He could see the sun shining through the window and glanced at the clock in shock. Opening time. He wouldn't be caught, but he wouldn't be alone anymore. His hoodie hid most of the metal arm, but not even gloves hid the fact that one of his hands was made of metal. Time to move then. Children tended to draw attention to him when he stayed in public.
He walked, because running just drew more attention, out the front door of the museum. Only one child noticed the sun glinting off of his hand and stared at him, which was an accomplishment. He was still stuck in memories, remembering seeing Steve for the first time since joining the army.
The door swung open and he was mentally preparing himself for another round of torture when Steve stepped into the room and saw him. Both of them froze, eyes widening. Bucky was still drugged, but it was wearing off. He was pretty sure he was hallucinating. Wouldn't be the first time.
"Bucky, you're... you're alive," Steve said, so quiet he almost didn't catch it. "I thought you were gone."
"I'm here. Steve, why the hell are you here?" he asked, pretending his best friend was real. Steve was immediately by his side, releasing his hands. "Didn't you used to be shorter?" Steve had grown, that was for sure. He was now taller than Bucky, and there was so much muscle... and color. Steve was touching him, really touching him. He was really there. That woke Bucky up instantly.
"I came for you. Til the end of the line, remember? This is NOT the end of the line," Steve said, giving a small smile. "I'll explain everything when we're safer."
At this point, Bucky was certain they were going to die. He'd missed Steve so much, and he was still drugged... if Steve questioned it later, if they survived, he'd blame the drugs. He pulled Steve to him and kissed him. It was fast, because they didn't have time for anything deep and meaningful, but it held so many sparks that Bucky would never regret doing it. At least he'd gotten one kiss.
Steve did not question the kiss, just gave Bucky another blinding smile and led him out to a hallway, trying to escape the Hydra base.
Later, after they'd had time to breath, they'd talked it through. Steve had seen colors too, every time he touched Bucky, long before Bucky ever had. That's why there'd been no reaction in the gym; colors were not new to Steve at that point. They spent many days and nights together after that, until the incident that resulted in Bucky's almost-death.
After the SHIELD incident, Bucky had not spoken to Steve again. It took several weeks for him to regain his memories, and he was still remembering little things every day, but... he couldn't bring himself to confront Steve. He'd done so many horrible things, killed so many people... he just couldn't. But that didn't stop him from watching.
That was where he was headed, actually. He left the museum and kept to the shadows, heading towards Stark Tower to find his old lover. Just because he wouldn't speak to him didn't mean he couldn't protect him. He was always there, at all of the Avenger's battles, watching just in case. To the end of the line, just like he'd promised all those years ago.
He arrived at the tower in time to see all of the Avengers leaving, off to fight some new battle. Bucky grabbed his sniper rifle from where he'd hidden it and followed, keeping his distance. He'd never been seen by any of them, and he intended to keep it that way. (If he'd been spotted, they'd kept their mouthes shut, because there was no way Steve wouldn't have confronted him if he'd known.)
Central Park was being attacked by some kind of strange robots. From his vantage point, Bucky could see the idiot controlling the bots on the roof of a building across the park. Hawkeye had seen him too, and Ironman was currently on his way to take him out. When Bucky turned his attention back to Steve, he noticed that his fighting pattern was off. He was slower than usual, but there was no obvious reason why. He wasn't worried until he noticed Natasha catching his eye. That's when he knew he was needed.
He ditched the sniper rifle and immediately headed down to the fight. He was just in time to watch one of the bots catch Steve in the side with a blade. A second one was behind him, ready to stab him through the back. Bucky didn't even think, he just dove between them, taking the blow that was meant for his love. He didn't feel any pain, which he knew was strange. It was a blade to his chest. He was not going to survive it. He could, however, take as many of these bots down with him as possible. His improved body could last for a few more minutes. In that time, he worked with the Avengers to bring down all of the threats. Ironman managed to shut down the person controlling them just as Bucky collapsed.
"Bucky!" Steve cried out, dropping to his knees beside him. The others surrounded them, staying back a bit to give them room.
"That was foolish," Thor said quietly, looking upset. The others seemed to agree with him, especially Steve, who seemed to be fighting tears.
Bucky had just enough strength to reach up with his good hand to wipe the tears away. "To the end of the line, remember? This is just the end of mine," he said quietly.
"No, no it isn't, Buck. I still need you," Steve said, moving Bucky's head to rest on his lap.
"You don't need me anymore. You have all of them, your new family. You'll go on, the world still needs Steve Rogers," he whispered.
"The world needs you too. You can pull through this, we've got medical help on the way. Don't give up on me. Don't you leave me alone again!" Steve begged. Bucky shook his head. The colors that had flared up when Steve touched him were fading again. Not because Bucky didn't love him anymore, but because he was dying.
"I love you, Steve. I always did, even when I couldn't remember," he said, letting his eyes close. He could just barely hear Steve crying, and the whispered reply.
"I love you too, Bucky. To the very end."