A/N: I was literally crying while writing the first part of this. But I also am proud of it, since it advances Jace's "character arc" as my English teacher would say. So, don't say I didn't warn you. :3
Chapter 9
(Jace POV)
All of my thoughts were swirling around my head: I am such a jackass. A fucking jackass, really. I can't believe what I just did. I ruined my whole relationship with Clary, all because I was attracted to some new Lightwood girl and decided to be an idiot about everything. I was so mad at myself that I couldn't even begin to be rational about it.
I'd gone and done it. I'd kissed Evangeline, that beautiful new girl who excited me in a different way than clary ever could.
And it had been great. Like, really great. For a girl as utterly virginal as Evangeline, she sure was a good kisser. I could still feel her soft lips on mine as we breathed in each other's essences. It was a wonderful moment, and made me want to do it again and again for the rest of my life.
Talking to Evangeline beforehand had been equally special. It was like we had a bond, and had known each other forever. She was not only stunning, but also funny and sweet. I wanted to make her happy, and that was that. Even though I brought her upstairs to the couch with the intent of seducing her, it eventually transformed into wanting to please her and show her my romantic side. All my ulterior motives flew out the window, after only a couple hours of talking to her.
With Clary, it was all about passion, all the time. To be suddenly involved in an entirely different type of relationship was like a breath of fresh air. But… Evangeline and I didn't even have a relationship, not yet.
Because I was dating Clary. I loved Clary, and I hated that I hurt her when she randomly showed up at the party and ruined everything. Or had it been me that had ruined everything…?
I could scarcely believe what I'd done. Clary and I were so happy. Sure, I'd cheated on her twice before (what can I say, I'm a weak man) but I always went back to her. I loved my girlfriend, and even kissing a pretty girl like Evangeline couldn't change that.
But Evangeline and I had a connection, as soon as we started talking to each other. And we talked so easily… I felt like I could tell her everything, after only a few measly hours of getting to know her.
Then again, I had felt the same way with Clary. Clary and I really had a deeper relationship, and that wasn't just because of the physical aspect. I loved her and she loved me, so what do I do? Ruin it all, that's what. She had looked so angry… Angrier than she ever had before. And it was all my fault. I betrayed Clary and started taking advantage of an innocent, beautiful girl like Evangeline. How could Clary ever forgive me?
I had to talk to her, to try to explain myself and promise her that I loved her and that I didn't really mean it when I kissed Evangeline. I was caught up in the moment! That was the truth. Clary always appreciated the truth, which was convenient because I couldn't lie to save my life. So she would know that I loved her even now… You, Jace, have gotten yourself into a real mess, I thought. Moron.
I took out my phone and texted her about it. "Babe I am so sorry please forgive me I love you I love you I love you. Let me make it up to you." Maybe now she could forgive me. But somehow… I had a sinking feeling that she wouldn't. At least for a little while.
(Evangeline POV)
Confusion swept over me, dizzying in its nebulousness. I felt like I was trapped inside a hurricane because of all the sweeping emotions. I felt happy and exhilarated from the kisses, but guilty because of how upset Clary was. And to top it all off, I was upset because I didn't know if Jace would want to ever kiss me again, or if I even wanted him to. It was all so perplexing.
As I sat in my armchair in my new room at the Institute, I pondered what life was like before romance entered the picture. And that wasn't hard to do, since only the past day and a half had been any different. I had been young and innocent, free from adult concerns like guilt and attraction. Now everything was confusing and different. If this was what love was like, I didn't know if I wanted any part of it.
I needed to talk to someone about it. I recalled that Isabelle had been cheated on by Simon. Even though our positions were different (I was the "other woman" and everything), I still felt compelled to talk to her. Thankfully, she was just one room away.
I stood up from my seat and padded out the door to her room, where I knocked on her door and waited for entry. "Hold on," I heard her say from behind it, and then I heard soft footsteps. Suddenly, her door was open and there she was in its frame, staring bemusedly at me. "Hey, Evangeline. What's wrong?"
"I just need to talk to you." Somehow, Isabelle hadn't found out about the cheating scandal yet. She just knew that Jace and I weren't talking and neither were he and Clary. Isabelle had apparently found a suitable vampire boyfriend, and hadn't returned home until this morning when she was met with a house full of awkward silence.
"Yeah, sure. What about?" She waved me into her messy and glittery room, so I entered. There was so much stuff everywhere… I didn't know what to do with myself.
"Isabelle, you know how Jace is being really quiet and all that?" I began tentatively. She nodded, so I continued. "Well, last night, at the party…"
"What happened?" Izzy pressed impatiently.
I took a seat on her bed, the only clear space in the room. "Jace and I were talking a lot and it was great. And then it turned romantic, and we kissed. And Clary came in." I let my head fall into my hands, black curls pooling around my face. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just don't know what to do."
Isabelle looked shocked, to say the least. Her full lips, so like mine, were open in an almost perfect O shape. "Well, shit. That puts things into a new perspective."
I flopped onto my side, no longer being able to sit up. It was like my heart was about to explode. "What should I do, Isabelle?"
She set her lips into a thin line, suddenly resolute. "You stay here for awhile. I'll call Clary and tell her to come over, and you two can talk. But now I have other pressing matters to attend to."
"Okay," I groaned miserably, looking up at Isabelle's glittered ceiling, beginning to plan what I'd say to Clary.
Isabelle apparently pulled out her phone when I wasn't looking, because I now heard her saying, "Hey, Clare-bear… Yeah, I know you're upset. Yeah. I heard what happened. Hey, can you come over? Evangeline wants to talk to you about it. Okay, great. See you soon."
As soon as she said my name, I glanced over, so I now saw her put her phone down. "Alright, Evangeline. You get dressed. Clary should be over in ten minutes."
She started walking out, so I called after her, "Where are you going?"
She paused at her door, looking back at me. "Me? I'm about to tell off a certain Jace."
A/N: You tell him, Izzy! xoxoxo