Wow we're on chapter 20 already?
I'm sorry this chapter took me so long to write, I found it really hard for some reason...
Gilbert huffed softly as he walked into the house, placing his bag of food down by the door and taking off his shoes, putting them on the new shoe rack before looking through the house, trying to hear signs of life but not hearing anything.
"Ludwig?" he called, straining his hearing. He rolled his eyes after not getting a reply, "Luddy?" he cooed, beginning to look through the rooms, he guessed he'd be in his bedroom but he thought it'd be a good idea to check other places first.
The past few weeks had been extremely hard on Ludwig, it was obvious, he looked depressed, as if a physical cloud was hovering over him. He had good days where he'd seem happy, but the smallest thing would make him flip and he'd fall into a pit of rage or sadness.
It was so distressing, whenever Ludwig was around it was like standing on egg shells. There was so much Gilbert felt he could no longer talk about, he hated it, he felt so… censored, he hated it. He hated being unable to say things, he liked his job because he was able to say what he wanted, working in a garage people expected controversial, even vulgar conversation, he hated that he couldn't act the same at home anymore.
Gilbert smiled as he came to Ludwig's now posterless bedroom, finding him huddled in his bed, watching some foreign show.
"Ludwig," Gilbert started slowly, taking a few steps into the room, "I bought Chinese food? You said yesterday you wanted some."
Ludwig looked up at him, almost glaring, "I'm gaining weight because of the medication already Gilbert, I don't want to make it worse by eating fatty foods. I get cravings but I don't follow them."
Gilbert huffed, "Well… I spent a lot, I got you the full works, you can either come and eat it, or sit up here while I eat it."
The younger boy shifted slightly, as if weighing the options in his head. Eventually he grumbled and got out of bed, Gilbert couldn't help noticing he was still in the boxers and shirt he'd been in when he left.
"You didn't get dressed today?" Gilbert asked, meaning the question to be a harmless observation but realising how it sounded after he'd said it, quickly adding on, "You didn't go running?"
Ludwig shook his head, walking with Gilbert from the room, "No, I didn't feel like it."
They walked down the stairs, both of them unsure how to continue the conversation. Gilbert picked up the large bag of food and carried it through to the kitchen, unpacking the containers and laying them out on the table.
Ludwig chewed his lip as he picked up a few of the small plastic boxes, taking a fork and moving to leave the room, Gilbert giving a small cough. Ludwig turned to see him, crossed arms and frowning.
"Put that back on the table, you're eating in here with me tonight," he stated. He'd had enough of Ludwig hiding away in his room, it wasn't good for him, being stuck in this rut wasn't good for him, he needed to try to continue his normal life, doing normal things, if he didn't then he'd just get worse. He wasn't helping himself.
Ludwig huffed loudly like the angsty teen he was, "I was watching something."
"It was an online show, you paused it right? It can wait."
Ludwig huffed again, frowning as he walked to the table and sat down, beginning to eat out of the containers. Gilbert's frown deepened, he took the container from the younger boy despite his weak protest and tipped it out onto a plate, adding some of the other foods he'd bought, piling it onto the china plate.
The boy stared at it, glaring up at Gilbert before beginning to eat the small mound of food.
Gilbert smiled, feeling as if he'd won a war, and sat down, piling food onto his own plate and beginning to eat. He shifted uncomfortably as his new wallet dug into his backside, he internally cursed his skinny jeans and pulled his wallet out, placing it on the table absentmindedly.
After a moment Gilbert noticed Ludwig's eyes pinned to the wallet, frowning deeply.
"I told you to throw that out," he half-snapped, gritting his teeth.
Gilbert looked at the wallet, his body stiffening slightly, his breath hitching.
He found himself frowning defensively, hid hand going to the wallet, "I didn't want to just throw it out. I looked it up and this thing cost fifty euros, that's too much to just throw away and you know how much I needed a new wallet."
"Throw it away," Ludwig growled, "I won't have anything from him in the house."
Gilbert grit his teeth and exhaled slowly, "Fine." He swallowed hard, beginning to empty the wallet, tipping his things out next to his plate.
"What about Romano?" Gilbert asked coldly, "Is he not allowed to visit anymore? He is after all a relative of him and he looks similar." He chewed his lip, he'd wanted to ask him for a while but he hadn't been sure how to approach it, so he decided to ask plainly. "You know how I feel about him."
Ludwig swallowed hard. "I…" he frowned, exhaling slowly as he thought. "I can't stop you from seeing him, but I don't want to see…"
He couldn't bring himself to say his name.
Gilbert nodded, "Ok," he sighed, "Romano hasn't wanted to come over because of how upset Feliciano's been."
Ludwig felt himself frown at the mention of his name. "W-Well that's because he's selfish. He'd let his own feelings come in the way of his brother's happiness."
Gilbert felt his spirits drop. He didn't see why Ludwig was reacting this adversely, well, he could, Feliciano had gone against his wishes and divulged information he shouldn't have, but Ludwig was over reacting. Feliciano was used to sharing everything with the press, his entire life was up for observation. He couldn't help sharing information, it was normal for him.
"Feliciano hasn't told him not to, Romano's just worried about him, like I am about you."
Ludwig scoffed, "So now you're comparing us?" he huffed, beginning to get up, "I'm not talking about this, I'm not talking about him with you. Romano can come over, whatever, I don't give a shit."
He picked up his plate and headed up the stairs, slamming his door before sitting at his desk, he played the program on his laptop before beginning to eat, trying to calm himself.
He couldn't believe Gilbert would keep that wallet, he knew what it meant, what all the things Feliciano had sent meant to him. They were all reminders of his betrayal.
He wanted to forget him, he'd gotten rid of everything he'd given him, everything that served as a reminder, all his CD's and posters, the interview tapes he'd downloaded onto his computer, his desktop and phone background.
It had completely upturned his life, he hadn't realised how much of his life depended on Feliciano until he had decided to completely remove all traces of him.
It hadn't made him feel any better, it just made him miss him more. He hated it so much, it made him feel so weak.
He finished his food, moving back over to his bed to continue watching his series, he absentmindedly looked down at his phone, unable to stop himself wondering how Feliciano was taking this.
He grit his teeth, digging his nails into his palms, he tried so hard not to think about him. He didn't know why he couldn't get that stupid boy off his mind.
He threw his phone in frustration, his eyes widening as it hit the wall and broke apart. His head filled with panic as he scrambled to pick up the pieces, putting the phone back together, turning it on and praising god that it hadn't broken.
He exhaled softly, settling back on the bed and trying to calm himself. He let out a small choked noise, gritting his teeth and wiping his eyes, swearing loudly at himself. He hated this, he didn't want to feel this anymore. He just wanted it to end.
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I really think I should change the summary for this but idk what to.