Author's Note: Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews and patience. I had quite a bit of difficulty with this chapter, and have been tinkering with it on and off for months now. I apologize for taking so long to finally upload it. Regardless, I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Mirai Nikki.

To the Stars and Back

Chapter 3 – Warmth. Sound. Light.

Created By: x-LittleMissAlice-x

xXx

"When you reach the end of what you should know, you will be at the beginning of what you should sense."

Kahlil Gibran

xXx

Warmth.

Yes, he could feel it clearly: a pleasant, light sensation tingling, just on the side of his left cheek. The biting coldness, enveloping him only moments ago, evaporated the moment that sensation connected with his skin. A sigh of contentment escaped his parted lips. His muscles and tendons limped, and his breathing fell to a slow, even pace. His head bent, tilting with a serenely soft, drooping motion towards the sweet heat...

Sound.

It filled the empty silence of the darkness surrounding him, reverberating in a quiet echo; an echo that, somehow, made him feel almost... at peace.

"Yukiteru-kun... Yukiteru-kun..."

Yes, the voice was calling him, calling his name. The smooth, hushed tone filled his eardrums, ringing gently...

Light.

With the flutter of his eyes, the empty abyss within his mind dissipated.

A brilliant light blinded him. He blinked once, then twice, and as his vision finally snapped into focus, he was met with a pair of lovely vermilion eyes...

He could never forget those unique, vivid irises.

He could never forget the kind, confident smile that greeted him.

He could never, ever forget how his skin prickled when those pale fingers tenderly brushed against his face.

"You are finally awake."

Yes, Yukiteru could never mistake that warm, gentle voice as anyone else...

"Are you… really here, Akise-kun?"

He could never mistake it, certainly, but that did not mean this Akise or even this entire moment was truly real.

This was part of reality... wasn't it? Or was this Akise nothing more than another wonderful dream; a dream that would abruptly end the moment he began to accept it as part of reality?

Would he slip through Yukiteru's fingers in yet again if he tried to accept this Akise as a being who wasn't a figment of his imagination? Would he wake up to an empty world with tears in his eyes like he had so many times before?

He didn't know. He just didn't know anymore.

"Yes, I'm here," Akise replied softly, still gently - so, so very gently - stroking his cheek, as if he were fragile enough to shatter at any moment. "I'm right here."

"But... How do I know that you are really here?" Yukiteru whispered.

"Can't you feel me?" he asked, unable to hide the hurt in his eyes, if only for the briefest of moments. His feather-light fingertips trailed down his face, his neck, shoulders and arms, until Akise laced his own fingers together with his.

He could feel Akise- his warmth, his breath, even his steady pulse throbbing just beneath his touch...

But it wasn't enough.

Every dream, situation or scenario he had ever experienced, even in his own mind, felt real.

Touch, smell, taste, sight, sound- he could perceive all of his senses, whether they were part of "reality" or not. He needed more than Akise's touch or scent. Even seeing him before his very eyes was not enough to make him feel completely secure in his reality; if anything, it made him doubt all the more.

He had seen Akise die before his very eyes, after all. He had experienced trying to bring him back into his life several times before. Nothing felt more official than that.

Still, he was hoping...

He was hoping that this Akise in front of and everything he heard or felt from him was real, and not another fabrication concocted by the depths of his broken mind.

But still, he wasn't certain and, perhaps, could never be certain of the truth.

He already felt fragile and vulnerable enough. He couldn't risk it.

If this Akise really wasn't real... would break him.

"I'm sorry..." Yukiteru murmured, his hand already moving to pull away from him, to slip away from the one touch that provided him so much comfort...

But before he could Akise's other hand clasped them back together, so both of his hands held his.

"I have always been selfless with you," he began, his expression incredibly calm and collected as it always was, but Yukiteru could sense his desperation. He held his hand if only a bit more firmly, and leaned closer to his face, focusing solely on him as if he were the only person in the entire world.

"I will always put your best interests before mine," he continued, Akise's eyes still not leaving his. "I will always do everything in my power to protect you, for as long as I am able. I will never try to hurt you or allow you to fall into harm's way. So please, Yukiteru-kun... Even if you don't trust me now, please just give me a chance. That is all I ask."

Yukiteru could already feel it: the thump thump thump of his racing heart; the trembling of his palm the longer Akise held it, trying to steady him both physically and mentally.

Had Akise always looked so desperate? He couldn't recall a moment when he-

No. There was one other time. A time when Akise had...

When he had begged him to believe in his friends, not even a day before the world ended. When Akise had... kissed him, and with all the strength he had left, told him to become God and gave him the means to do just that.

Or... Maybe that didn't really happen.

Did it happen? Did Akise kiss him once? Did he ever become God?

If he asked, would he hear the truth? Or would this Akise, if he even truly existed, lie to him?

He didn't know. He didn't know who trust, or even what he could trust anymore.

"I can't... keep going on like this..." Yukiteru's voice cracked, but he forced himself to continue, "I can't start to feel secure, only for you to leave me again. I don't... I can't..."

He whimpered softly. His eyes squeezed tight, holding back the tears threatening to fall as he held one of the hands clasping his.

"Please. If you aren't real, please just tell me now. I don't want to believe in something that isn't real!"

"Yukiteru-kun," Akise said, leaning closer to him and staring at him dead in the eyes.

"I wont lie to you. I swear, I am in front of you. I am here."

His reassuring words calmed Yukiteru, if only slightly. It made him want to believe, more than anything, Akise spoke of the truth.

"Tell me, do you know where you are, Yukiteru-kun?" Akise asked, watching him carefully.

"Where I... am?" Yukiteru repeated.

For the first time since opening his eyes, Yukiteru pulled his gaze away from Akise. He glanced around the room, quickly taking in his surroundings.

Cool, glistening white tile floors. Stark white, plain walls. Itchy, thin white sheets...

Whitewhitewhitewhite.

Not darkness. Not emptiness. Not eternity.

It was white.

A room that was finite. A room that had an exit, a way to escape. A room that had... Akise.

"You said I was in an... asylum?" Yukiteru finally replied, a fact that was evident enough from what was around him, could he not remember their past conversation. Even now he could only recall parts of it. The end of their conversation was a hazy blur.

Akise visibly sighed in relief, and his back straightened, perking up a little. "Yes, Yukiteru-kun. You are in an institution. Do you know how long you have been here?"

"You said it was about three years."

"Excellent, Yukiteru-kun. Excellent."

Yukiteru could hear the excitement leaking into his tone, a small smile (was it of relief? Hope?) stretching across his lips.

Warmth bubbled in the pit of Yukiteru's stomach at the sight of it, his cheeks flushing at his praise. Even now, how he felt when he was around Akise had not changed.

"Now, can you tell me who she is?" Akise asked, motioning to a woman he hadn't noticed watching them from the corner of the room.

The warmth in his stomach only moments ago immediately ran cold at the sight of her.

She looked physically older, more... mature than he remembered her, but there wasn't a doubt about it.

That amethyst hair... That impatient lavender eye... The eyepatch she wore on the left side...

She was the same person who had single-handedly held all of his peers captive and threatened to kill them all with a single press of a button.

Yes, she was the same person who had tried to corner and kill him on numerous occasions...

A white lab coat and a nurse's outfit could not hide who she really was, nor her true nature.

"Ninth," Yukiteru whispered venomously under his breath, his eyes narrowing slightly.

Akise notably tensed in front of him, blinking at the hostility in his tone.

His pale hands slipped away from his own, and Yukiteru immediately missed the warmth of his touch.

Why was Akise pulling away from him? Why was he moving towards her?

"I'm sorry, Dr. Nishijima, Yukiteru-kun's just-"

Yukiteru's hand quickly latched onto his arm before he could move off the edge of his bed and stand.

"Yukiteru-kun...?" he asked, confusion and concern clear in his eyes.

"Don't go near her. She isn't really a doctor."

"Yukiteru-kun... This is Dr. Nishijima. She is your head psychologist and therapist," Akise replied carefully.

"No, she isn't!" Yukiteru whispered fiercely. "Her real name is Minene Uryuu and she is secretly a terrorist. She is going to try to kill me... She is going to try to kill both of us. She probably... has a bomb in this room right now!"

His eyes darted around the room, his mind already reeling.

"We can't use your Detective's Diary; Ninth's Escape Diary wont tell us where the bomb is. Maybe we could-"

Yukiteru stopped when he felt Akise place his hands firmly on his shaking shoulders.

"Yukiteru-kun, please don't do this... Please trust me when I say this: future diaries do not exist. There isn't a bomb. You are not in danger. You are safe, Yukiteru-kun."

He wanted to believe him - truly, he did. He wanted to believe he was safe and secure with Akise, that there was nothing to feel paranoid about or fear.

But... it would be a lie, wouldn't it?

Wasn't Minene deceiving Akise, like she had done so many times before to others in that exact same disguise? Why would she be watching him as closely as she was now if she didn't plan on attacking him - on attacking them? That was what Minene did, after all: she tried to destroy everything Yukiteru cared about...

And then it dawned on him.

This had to be a set-up.

Of course, Akise was intelligent enough to come up with such an idea. It was impossible for Ninth to actually be his doctor. Absurd, even. This had to all be a front, and Akise was in on it but just couldn't tell him outright...

Why didn't he realize it before? Ninth would always try to escape them, but if they cornered her when she was least expecting it, maybe then they would have a chance to rid of her once and for all. Playing along as a mental institute patient would be able to do just that, right?

"I understand, Akise-kun. I finally understand," he said confidently, smiling to himself a little at his brilliance for catching on.

"Understand... what?" Akise asked, somewhat hesitantly.

"I understand what we have to do now. But first, you need to tell me where the bomb is. She could have explosives anywhere... In the walls, under the bed, or maybe even..."

"No, Yukiteru-kun, there isn't-!"

Was he covering for Ninth? Was he trying to tell Yukiteru right now wasn't the time?

Or maybe...

Ah yes, a hint.

There wasn't a bomb in the walls, bed, or floors so the only place left would be...

"They are on you, aren't they?"

Akise completely froze.

"What?" he asked incredulously, and Yukiteru was completely certain of it then.

Even if Akise didn't think so, Yukiteru could handle it. He could save Akise and diffuse the bomb!

"Show me! Show me where they are!" Yukiteru demanded. His eager hands shoved Akise onto his back and his body shifted, crawling on top of him so his legs rested on either side of Akise's waist, preventing his escape. Akise squirmed under him slightly but did not dare to push him away.

The bomb could be anywhere- under his shirt, jeans...

...Why was he wearing a scarf?

Of course! It had to be under there!

Akise's body stiffened as his fingers curled under the red material of the accessory around his neck, but he didn't move. His vermilion irises were gazing at him, silently pleading...

It was because the bomb was there.

He wanted him to know. He wanted him to disarm it and-

No...

No, Akise wanted him to stop...

But it was too late.

With a harsh tug the red scarf slid off, exposing Akise's pale, slender neck for Yukiteru to see.

There wasn't a bomb hidden beneath the fabric. Instead, his eyes immediately met a set of deep purple bruises.

"Akise-kun... What happened?" Yukiteru asked softly, cautiously reaching out to lightly touch them.

Akise winced softly as he traced them, one by one. The dark imprints were long and somewhat thick, as if...

As if he had been strangled.

"Who did this to you?" Yukiteru demanded. "Did Ninth...?"

"No! Of course not!" Akise retorted quickly.

"Then who? Tell me who!"

Finally, Dr. Nishijima - Minene, Ninth, the terrorist - spoke.

"Don't you remember what happened, Amano?" she asked.

"Remember...? Remember what?"

His mind was already swimming with all of his available memories, and he couldn't recall such a mark. He had been slightly strangled by Yuno once, but even then it wasn't to such a degree...

When did this happen? Was it even really there?

"Amano, don't you remember the day Aru-"

"Stop, Minene."

Yukiteru flinched.

Akise's tone was deep. Dark. Cold- unlike anything he had ever heard before. The look in his eyes was so intense that, if looks could kill, "Dr. Nishijima" would have fallen over right then and there.

"He has to know sometime, Aru."

"But not now... Not yet."

"Akise-kun, what are you-"

Beepbeepbeep!

Yukiteru jumped. His hands scrambled, quickly grabbing the thin white sheets and jerking them over his body (as if that would save him...) at the noise.

He was right! The bomb!

He could feel his heart racing, his ragged breathing sucking in and out as many breaths as he could muster (the only hint that he was still alive), and after several moments he felt a comforting hand rest on top of his head through the outside of his "protection".

Then he heard Akise's voice, calm and smooth and gentle once again.

"Yukiteru-kun... As I said, there isn't a bomb."

Slowly, Yukiteru peaked his head from under the covers enough to see his surroundings and that, sure enough, the room and everyone in it was still intact.

Was Ninth just trying to fake him out by purposefully making him look like he was crazy, or was she really not trying to kill him? Was Akise telling the truth? Did future diaries not exist in this world?

Could he trust Akise?

There were secrets he was keeping from him, Yukiteru knew at least that. He had seen what was hidden underneath the red scarf that was wrapped around his neck once again. He just needed to figure out why.

Why was Akise trying to keep those bruises a secret from him? Why wouldn't he tell Yukiteru what had happened?

...Was Akise keeping other secrets from him?

Yukiteru snapped out of his thoughts at the apparently not-a-terrorist/Ninth/his supposed psychologist and therapist's sheepish laugh.

"Sorry 'bout that. The beeping was from my pager. Looks like time's up... C'mon Aru, we have to go."

"I wont leave him," Akise declared, gazing into his eyes, his fingers still resting on his head, laced in his long jet black hair.

"Aru," she said, firmer this time. Reluctantly, his hand pulled away.

"I will be back as soon as I can," he heard Akise promise, and saw the small smile (why did it look forced?) on his lips.

The lights in his room flickered off, then the door slowly closed with a small click.

Akise disappeared, leaving him in the darkness once again, taking all of the light, sound, and warmth within the room with him.

Thank you for reading.

If you have any thoughts or feelings about this chapter please leave a review. Also let me know what you think may happen in future chapters or even why Yukiteru was institutionalized in the first place if you have any ideas. I evidently already know which direction I want to push this story but I always find your theories interesting.

That's all then. Have a lovely evening.

xLMAx