The meeting went so much smoother than I could have ever anticipated. I was sat at a round table meeting with Mike, Hanji, Dita, Moblit, and of course, Erwin. I didn't even know Moblit was meant to be there, but apparently he was the only one capable of calming Hanji when she got too over-excited. I felt ridiculously on edge to be surrounded by the most powerful people in the Survey Corps, when I was only a rookie. Erwin had filled me in on most of it the night before, so most of it, I'd heard already.

During the mission, Hanji and Moblit would be one side, Mike and Dita the other, with Erwin and I working on tracking the leader. This way, we were pretty much guaranteed to capture him, and hopefully his gang too. We'd be heading into the Capital by horse, resting within the confines of Wall Sina before heading into the Underground the following night. I managed to stay calm throughout the meeting, much to Mike's surprise. I could tell he didn't think I was right for the job, and I'd prove him wrong too.

After the meeting, I went straight up to Gunther's room. I had promised him I'd come and tell him everything, partly because he was still worrying, partly because I needed to get it out to someone. Although Gunther didn't approve of whatever my relationship with Erwin was, he was the only person I could tell, and keeping it bottled up inside wasn't helping me mentally.

When I got to Gunther's dorm, he was with Aurou, both sat cross-legged on the floor, playing some stupid card game they had invented. They had become close over the last couple of days, and although Aurou was still a self-obsessed annoying bastard sometimes, he was really trying to be a better person and get along with us all. Gunther and I were the only people who really spoke to him, who were willing to give him a second chance. I think Aurou realised that, and he was starting to give us the respect he had never given us before.

I joined them on the floor, bringing my knees up to my chest as Gunther put his cards down and shuffled closer to me. His eyes darted between me and Aurou, obviously torn between what he really wanted to ask me - what we couldn't talk about whilst Aurou was here.

"How did it go Petra? The mission's going to be okay for you, right?" Gunther asked, and I replied with a huge smile. It was genuine this time.

"It went great, guys." I said, addressing both Gunther and Aurou. "I'm feeling confident that I can do this. We have a perfect plan, and I know I won't fail being paired with Erwin."

I saw Gunther's eyes shift as a suspicious look entered his eyes, but he was quick to hide it from Aurou.

"You're working with Erwin himself?" Aurou blurted out. I blushed and played with a piece of my hair behind my ear. I didn't want Aurou to know what was going on with me and Erwin, but I couldn't hide the way I reacted when I heard his name. Gunther's eyebrows furrowed as he rubbed his head.

"When are you going?" Gunther asked.

"In a few days. We're going to the Capital, to the Underground, to find a man. That's all."

With those words, even Aurou looked shocked. He moved across the floor to me and put his hand on my knee, a concerned expression on his face - something I had never seen, or expected to see from Aurou.

"You can't be serious Petra, they're taking you to that place?" Aurou whispered. "It's dangerous as hell, is Erwin a fucking idiot?"

Gunther stopped him in his tracks.

"Aurou, shut the fuck up. The leaders wouldn't take Petra if they didn't think she could handle it. You've seen her out there. Just...shut the fuck up."

"I'm goddamn worried, Gunther!" Aurou shouted, standing up. "You can't expect me not to react like this! Have you heard about the Underground? Don't even try to tell me you haven't. I'm fucking worried! Petra, you can't go!"

Gunther stood up so his face was inches away from Aurou's.

"Who the hell are you to sit there and tell her what she can and can't do? You'd fucking go if Erwin asked you, Aurou, you can't deny that! You're the one trying to turn things around and be a good soldier and that's exactly what she's doing! Get off your fucking high horse!"

I sat there in silence, hugging my knees closer as I watched my two friends arguing between themselves, spitting their words in each others faces. Why did they have to do this? I was sick of being the reason behind problems, the reason for arguments. This was the second time someone had raised their voice on the subject of me in the space of a week, and I didn't know how much more I could take.

"Can you guys just stop it already?" I called, trying to shout with a crack in my voice and tears in my eyes. "You guys are all I've got okay? I'm going on the mission no matter what. I just want you to support me on this."

Aurou opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again on a second thought. Much to my surprise, he came and put his arms around my shoulders, holding me in a short hug. Gunther stood there with his jaw hanging open as Aurou spoke his next words in my ear.

"I won't stop you then. Just be safe. Be careful. I want you to make it back home, Petra. We need you to."

With that, he left Gunther's room, slamming the door behind him to show his anger towards the other man. Gunther didn't hesitate getting straight to the point he wanted to make from the minute I walked in.

"Do you promise you're not just doing this for Erwin?" he said, bluntly and quickly, a dead expression on his face. I let out a deep sigh. It's true that I was, but I didn't want Gunther to think it was just that.

"It's not just for him. I mean fine, maybe part of it is. I really like him, Gunther. I want him to feel the same about me, and I think he does. I'm doing it for both him, and my career. If I'll get ranked higher, and become closer to him, then to me, there's no problem."

"I just think he's got other tricks up his sleeve. I don't trust him."

"How can you say that? He's done nothing but good things for all of us!"

"Because that's his job, Petra! His job is to look after us, but do you know what he's like when he's not playing the role of the Commander of the Survey Corps? What his personality is REALLY like? There's a difference between your work life and personal life Petra, stop being so naive! What is your part in this mission? Are you fucking bait for this man in the Underground? So he'll go after you, a fresh recruit, whilst the veterans catch him in the act? Have you even thought about this?"

"Of course I've thought about that!" I shouted at Gunther. Truth is, I hadn't. I had never thought about what Erwin really wanted me to do, all he had told me was that I'd chase a man. We never spoke about the consequences of this man lashing back out at us. Gunther had a point, but I couldn't satisfy him. I stood up, ready to leave. I couldn't deal with Gunther not being with me on this one.

"Wait, Petra...I don't want you to go. I want you to be the Petra that I first met. The quiet girl who would never dream of doing something so dangerous. I miss that girl. I never saw her with sadness in her eyes. I'm proud of how far you've come, and I'm proud of how strong you are."

I stared at Gunther as I could see tears forming in his eyes, and it's a sight I never thought I'd see. He blinked slowly, trying to clear them, and continued.

"However proud I am of you, you're being reckless. I know about your feelings for Erwin, and you're acting with your heart rather than your brain. Promise me Petra, just promise me, that if he asks you to do anything that could harm you, you'll say no. And I know you won't. But I just need to hear you say that. Promise me that you'll say no to him if he puts your life in danger."

I couldn't take it any more. I ran over to Gunther, throwing my arms around him and burying my head in his shoulder. He truly cared about me.

"I promise Gunther. I won't do anything stupid." I whispered, holding back tears.

"That wasn't what I asked."

I looked up at him, tears forming in my eyes. It broke my heart to hurt Gunther, but he would never be able to understand this.

"I can't promise that to you, Gunther. I just can't."

With that, my arms dropped to my sides, and I left Gunther standing there in his room. It killed me to walk away from my best friend, but I couldn't argue with him, not anymore. He just had to realise that this was happening, whether he liked it or not.

In between training with Aurou and Gunther, and my late night visits from Erwin, the next few days flew by. I laid out my suitcase, packing clothes, a hairbrush...spare blades for my swords.

I looked up and locked eyes with Aurou and Gunther standing in my room with me. I forced a smile, and ran over to hold them both in my arms. Gunther's words a few nights ago had hit me hard, and I had realised that this could be the last time we were together. We all knew this. A Survey Corps recruit was expected to die for their cause, and I could be meeting that fate. As we stood in our embrace, tears rolled down my cheeks. I was terrified. We held each other for what felt like hours, until I finally broke free from them, holding each of their hands as tight as I could.

"I'll see you soon. I love you both."

The following morning, I grabbed my bag, and headed to the courtyard where our horse and carriage was waiting for us, the sunrise shining through the trees, and I hoped this was a sign for a bright new beginning.

We were heading to the Capital.