Title: Grave Robber
Summary: Seto wanted to take his secrets to the grave, but when a class project lands him and Joey closer than desired, those secrets become harder to protect than ever. Especially when Joey is discovering the common ground they share.
Contains: Yaoi, lemon in random chapters, references to child abuse and molestation, sudden flashbacks, arguments, and occasionally ooc-ness
Pairing: Seto X Joey
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or the characters, I also make no money from the writing of this fanfic.
Author's Note: There are lines in Kaiba and Joey's relationship—and those lines are bound to be crossed.
( ) ( ) ( )
Seto gave up after trying for over three hours to look over his contract. His eyes kept going in and out of focus and the bright, white paper made him have to squint to keep his eyes from burning. (And when they weren't burning, they were watering from the irritation of his cold.) He had to keep pausing from his readings to sniff and wipe his nose until his skin was raw and chapped. Even then, despite his best efforts, he couldn't concentrate and had to give up.
He told his secretary that he was leaving and to cancel his appointments. Sleep was no longer an option, it was a necessity, and as soon as he was in the back of his limo he stretched himself across the backseat and closed his eyes. It seemed that as soon as his eyes slipped closed, there was a sharp knock on the window as his chauffer informed him they had arrived at the mansion.
Seto made a point to keep an expression of irritation fixed on his face as he got out of the limo and entered his home. To show he was sick was the same as showing weakness, and Seto refused to let his guard down in front of anyone.
Except maybe Mokuba.
"Where's Wheeler?" Seto asked. He passed the main living room on his route to his bedroom. Mokuba was watching some sort of television program while scrolling through a document on his laptop. Usually his brother and Joey were together in the afternoons—eating or watching TV.
"Hey," Mokuba called, turning away from his computer. "I guess you're not feeling any better, huh?"
"Where's Joey?" Seto asked again. He didn't want to focus on his alternately stuffy and runny nose or watery eyes. Mokuba looked at him with a displeased expression—the sort of look a cat gives a person who has petted it for a minute too long.
"You look terrible," Mokuba said. Seto didn't like how he dodged the question. It made him feel like something was wrong.
"Gee, thanks."
Mokuba sighed and looked back to his laptop. "You should get some rest. You know you'll get worse if you don't."
"Where is Joey?" Seto asked again.
"Why are you so worried about Joey all of a sudden?"
Seto didn't respond. He doubted it would make much sense to his brother if he told him sleeping without having a dog at his feet was becoming impossible. It wasn't that he was dependent on the mutt's presence, but sleep came easier with a warm body to lie next to.
"He isn't here, is he?" Seto asked.
Mokuba took a deep breath and held it for a moment. "He…went to see his father."
"What?"
"He wanted to go see his dad," Mokuba said. "He asked me not to say anything, but I know you're not going to let this go."
"Why would he go there?" Seto snapped. Of course the stupid dog would pick the one day Seto was completely drained and exhausted to put himself in danger again.
"It's his dad, Seto. He wanted to make sure he's doing okay."
"He has a maid—what more could the old fool want?" Seto asked, growling as he turned away.
"Where are you going?" Mokuba asked, setting his laptop aside and jumping up from the couch as Seto walked away.
"To get Wheeler before he gets himself killed," Seto grumbled.
"You're sick!" Mokuba argued. "Seto, you can't even walk straight. You need to go lay down. If Joey needs you, he'll call."
"He can't call if he's dead," Seto snapped. On a day when his mind wasn't scattered and hazy, Seto probably wouldn't have let himself react so strongly. Joey could take care of himself. He knew Joey wouldn't let his father actually kill him. But all Seto could think was that his pet had run away from home and he was tired and couldn't sleep until his pup was in the bed beside him. He didn't care how obsessed it made him sound. He was tired, he was sick, and he couldn't sleep without Joey.
It took everything in his power to prevent himself from realizing how pathetic that made him.
Seto called for his car again and told his chauffer where to drive. In the backseat, Seto forced himself to stay awake, fuelled mainly by annoyance and anger. Of course Joey would try to sneak off the one day he felt Seto would be too sick to follow. Of course he'd put himself in danger when Seto couldn't keep him safe…
When the limo pulled up outside of Joey's deteriorating house, Seto could already hear the yelling. He didn't wait for the chauffer to open the door, he threw it open himself and got quickly to his feet. His head was spinning, but he fought it as he stalked into the house, trying to work up his strength so he wouldn't get overpowered by a man in a drunken rage. He could already imagine the tabloids articles that would arise if he let himself get beaten down by Joey Wheeler's bum of a father.
The opening of the door was masked by the sound of a body being slammed into a wall. The sharp cry of pain that followed indicated that Joey was on the receiving end and Seto growled. His fury only mounted when he heard the drunken father yelling out obscenities at his son who was still whimpering through his pain.
Seto stepped through the living room that, although tidied by the made, still reeked of booze and cigarettes. The noise from the fight came from the kitchen, and Seto did his best to remain unseen as he neared the doorway. He wanted to get a better assessment of the situation before diving in.
He wanted to get a better look before reacting, but when Seto's eyes landed on spot after spot of blood on the kitchen counter and floor, keeping his composure was an afterthought.
Joey was on the ground clutching his mouth and nose, blood running between his fingers. His father loomed over him, brandishing an already broken beer bottle. The little shards of glass near Joey's hips on the floor implied that he'd busted the glass over Joey's head—or worse, his mouth.
Why had he thought to come back to this place?
Seto lunged for the man, grabbing the hand holding the bottle and knocking it away before he could bring it down on Joey's head. Fortunately, the man was drunk and it was easy for Seto—even with his strength impaired—to make the man unsteady. Seto shoved him against the kitchen counter, not feeling any satisfaction when Joey's father grunted and collapsed onto the blood-smeared floor. Seto punched him twice and kicked him firmly in the chest for good measure before turning back to Joey who still hadn't moved from his spot on the floor. Unlike the last time, Joey didn't come to his father's aid. He was sitting there, shaking and going into shock.
"Come here," Seto said, grabbing Joey by the arm and pulling. When that didn't work, he leaned down and pulled Joey up by the shoulders. "Let's go."
Seto escorted Joey to the limo and helped him into the backseat, ignoring the looks that the neighbors were giving him. They were all staring in awe at the limo and the presence of the "famous" Seto Kaiba—not paying any attention at all to the rips in Joey's uniform or the blood on his sleeves and hands.
In the car, Joey finally broke out of his stupor. When the vehicle started moving, Joey met Seto's gaze. He looked frightened and ashamed… It was a look Seto had worn before and it made him sick to see Joey that way.
"Let me see," Seto said, trying his best to sound gentle. It was hard to force a nurturing tone. He'd only ever cared for Mokuba, and even then his compassion was hard to show. Seto grasped Joey's hand and pulled it slowly away, trying not to cringe. He expected carnage, a completely sliced lip or possibly missing teeth. It wasn't so bad though. His lip was cut, but gentle touches proved that it wasn't deep enough to need stitches.
When they got to the mansion, Seto would have a doctor look over Joey anyway. He wasn't about to let the cuts on Joey's face and scalp get infected and scar.
"Did he chip your teeth?" Seto asked, not going to degrade the boy by checking him like some sort of animal. Joey looked away and tilted his chin, running his tongue across his cheek to check them. He shook his head and breathed though a wave of pain.
"I'm fine," Joey said, blinking rapidly. He looked like he was going to cry and Seto couldn't stand seeing him in pain. If it weren't for his stupid headache and lightheadedness, Seto would've gotten out of the limo and gone back to that house. He would kill that man for kicking his dog and then pay his way out of the jail time. "What were you doing there?" Joey asked, hissing in pain as he shifted in his seat. He was trying to act tough, but the pain that showed on his face made him nothing more than pitiful.
"You weren't at home," Seto said. "I had to come find you." He knew trying to scold Joey for being foolish enough to trust his father would only make things worse. With Joey's attitude, he would probably have tried to jump out of the moving vehicle if he thought Seto would dare to judge him. Even though jeering comments were Seto's go-to response for almost every situation, he knew when they wouldn't work in his favor. If he upset Joey now, he would never be able to get to sleep…
"I told Mokuba not to say anything," Joey muttered.
"You should know by now that Mokuba can't keep a secret from me."
"But you can keep secrets from him?" Joey asked, flashing Seto a dark look.
"If I keep something from Mokuba it's for his own protection. You have a sister—"
"Leave her out of this," Joey growled.
"Do you tell her what your father does?"
"No, I don't tell Serenity what my father does!" Joey yelled, tears finally welling in his eyes. "What could she do!? It would just hurt her! Why do you have to be such an asshole?"
Seto sighed and leaned back against his seat. It didn't bother him that Joey lashed out. He needed to vent and taking anger wasn't exactly something Seto was unused to. Employees turned on him, reporters lashed out at him, angry customers insulted him—having Joey throw harsh words had been so common in the past anyway and it almost felt natural. What wasn't natural was holding back the sharp responses that came to Seto's mind out of habit.
"My head hurts," Joey whimpered, rubbing at his scalp and making more red blood stain his hair.
"I have doctors on call to help you," Seto said, hoping it didn't sound too arrogant.
"He… He just kept hitting me until the bottle broke," Joey said, still fighting off the tears. "He's never done that before."
"What set him off?" Seto asked, keeping Joey talking so he could get it all out before it ate him alive. Seto knew what it was like to be hurt and made to keep silent about it. Those wounds festered and bled at random… He didn't want Joey to end up like him.
"He took one look at me and started yelling. I tried to leave, but he grabbed me and then kept punching me. He wouldn't stop."
The limo pulled up outside of the mansion and Seto helped Joey out of the car. When they stepped into the house, Mokuba was already by the door waiting.
"What happened?" Mokuba asked, looking Joey over and showing all of the concern and compassion that Seto couldn't express.
"Call for our doctor," Seto said dismissively, hoping Mokuba would understand that meddling was just going to upset Joey more. "We'll be in Joey's room when they get here. I'm going to clean him up."
"I can take care of myself," Joey said, pulling away from Seto and making his way to the stairs. He didn't walk with a limp, but his steps were wobbly as if he were disoriented.
"That's my line, Wheeler," Seto said, following closely after him. "I guess this is where I'm supposed to say 'what's the point of having me around if I can't look after you when you get hurt'?"
"Just shut up! I'm not in the mood," Joey muttered, tripping on the final step but catching himself before he fell.
"Joey?"
"Leave me alone! I can clean myself up."
When Joey reached his guest room on the upper floor, he slammed the door in Seto's face and shouted in mixed pain and rage once he was alone. Seto stood there feeling yet again exhausted and confused. He didn't know how to help someone who didn't want it… He didn't know how to help a person so much like himself.
( ) ( ) ( )
When the doctor came, Kaiba had been nowhere to be seen. Joey's wounds were disinfected and covered with bandages, making him feel something like a mummy with a strip of gauze wrapped around his head. And it was ridiculous to have a gauze sheet taped to his upper lip.
He'd also learned that his wrist had been sprained when he tried to hold his father off, so the doctor had placed it in a splint and wrapped it. A maid brought a bag of ice and made a real show of fawning over Joey's injuries even though her coworkers had really been nothing but stuffy toward him since he moved in—as if he weren't worthy of their service since he wasn't rich like their boss.
After he'd been tended to, the maid brought him a dinner he could eat at the desk in his room and then came to collect the plates an hour later.
"Mr. Kaiba wants to know if he could stop by your room," the maid said.
"He actually bothered to ask permission?" Joey asked, rolling his eyes. He had been tense all evening, waiting for Kaiba to come in and make fun of him—tell him how stupid he was for trusting his dad and putting himself in that position like an idiot…
"I think Mr. Kaiba is very worried about you," the maid said. "He's just been sitting at his desk since he got home. I don't think he feels very well, but he won't get any rest until he sees you."
"So rich boy's tryin' to guilt me now?" Joey mumbled.
"I'm sorry?" The maid looked at him and tilted her head, pretending she didn't understand when her eyes showed pure annoyance.
"He's going to make a big deal about me wanting to be alone and then he'll blame me when his cold gets worse."
"I think Mr. Kaiba is worried about you," the maid repeated. "As soon as he learned you weren't home he went to find you, even though he's so unwell."
"Don't try to make me feel bad. I just don't want to see anybody right now. I look stupid with this thing on my head."
The maid stared at him, looking disappointed.
"Mr. Kaiba isn't going to sleep if he doesn't get to see you."
"That's his own fault," Joey said.
Eventually, the maid gave up and left. Just as Joey started to feel bad about cutting Kaiba out, said rich boy stormed into his room.
"I said I wanted left alone!" Joey yelled, tearing the bandage off his head before he could begin to feel any more foolish.
"Relax," Kaiba said. There were dark circles under his eyes that betrayed how exhausted he was, making him look almost like the ghoul-imposter they had encountered at Duelist Kingdom. "I came to check up on you."
"I don't want checked up on. I want left alone."
"Alright," Kaiba said, sighing. He turned to leave and Joey felt a pang of remorse hit him. If not for Kaiba, his dad would've probably beaten him unconscious…or worse.
"Wait," Joey said just as Kaiba was about to leave. "You don't have to go…" He felt defeated when Kaiba stopped and turned to face him. "It just makes me mad that…that you keep seein' me like that. I don't want you to think I can't take care of myself."
"I know you can take care of yourself," Kaiba said. "And I know you don't stick up for yourself whenever your father is involved. You're too loyal to him. He's your family and I understand that, but if you won't protect you then I will."
"I don't want you to beat up my dad," Joey said.
"I'm not going to let him hurt you and get away with it. I care about you. Seeing him hurt you…" Kaiba paused and shook his head. "I don't like it."
"I get that, but you can't just beat up my dad. How would you feel if I came in to see Mokuba beating you up and I attacked him?"
"That's different," Kaiba said, rolling his eyes. "Mokuba would never—"
"I don't care! You love your brother and I love my dad."
"Your father doesn't deserve you," Kaiba said bitterly. He laid back on the bed and closed his eyes before draping his arm over his face. "I don't want you to go back there without me."
"Don't tell me what to do," Joey said.
"Come lay down," Kaiba said, sniffing from his cold.
"Did you not hear me? I said don't tell me what to do," Joey muttered.
"Just lay down," Kaiba said, sounding more irritated.
"I don't—" Joey was cut off when Kaiba sat up quickly and grabbed him, forcing him to fall back onto the bed.
"All I want is to sleep."
"So go to your own room and sleep!" Joey yelled, more surprised than angry.
"I can't," Kaiba grumbled, forcing Joey to lie down beside him.
"Why? Because you need someone to give your cold to?" Joey growled, giving up on squirming away when the pain from his injuries flared up.
"I can't sleep," Kaiba said, his voice muffled against Joey's shoulder.
"What?"
"I can't sleep. It's cold without you."
Joey stopped grumbling and looked over at Kaiba who was already on the edge of sleep—although struggling to breathe through his cold. It was the little things like that which kept Joey from really getting mad and storming out. Kaiba didn't show a lot of emotion or affection toward anyone but Mokuba. To have Kaiba open up to him about his own abuse was a start, but to have him admit that he was actually becoming dependent on Joey, admit that he couldn't sleep without Joey at his side, that was incredible. It was touching.
It proved that Kaiba was human underneath all of his layers of ice and snow.
So instead of fighting it, Joey nestled down into Kaiba's side, making sure to keep his bandaged lip from rubbing against his partner. He wrapped an arm around Kaiba's waist, making the other boy twitch in his sleep.
"Kaiba?" Joey mumbled, quiet enough that the brunette could ignore him if he chose.
"What?" Kaiba asked groggily.
"Do you…" No, Joey thought. It was too soon to ask him that.
"What?—Do I what?" Kaiba asked.
"It's nothin'," Joey said.
Kaiba made a low, sleepy groan and scooted up on the bed. He tilted Joey's chin upward with his fingers and leaned down to press a soft kiss on the side of Joey's mouth, careful to avoid the cut. When Joey pulled back, Kaiba just hummed softly and kissed with a little more passion.
Joey whimpered and Kaiba finally let him go after kissing him once more on the cheek and then again on his neck.
"Now let me sleep," Kaiba muttered, sniffing and then sighing with annoyance as his cold fought him. Joey curled up next to him but couldn't even think of sleeping.
Why had Kaiba kissed him like that? Was it really possible that he'd known what Joey was going to ask? Was the kiss an answer—a yes? Or was it simply done to shut Joey up?
When Kaiba was finally asleep, Joey was able to worm away to sit on the edge of the bed. He stared blankly at the wall for what felt like hours, his mind racing. He had a horrible headache—probably from being struck with a glass bottle until it broke—and it irked him that Kaiba could just lie there and sleep. He knew Kaiba was exhausted and not feeling well, but it wasn't fair…
Kaiba shouldn't be able to just kiss him like that—to put feeling into an awkward, gentle kiss—and then go to sleep like it meant nothing. Joey couldn't decide if he felt that Kaiba was "dating" him because he actually liked him or if it was because he pitied him and felt the need to protect him from his father because no one had been there for him in the past?
It had started to turn dark before Joey was interrupted. There was a quiet knock on the door before it cracked open. Joey turned around to look and spotted Mokuba standing there, looking slightly confused. Joey looked down at the bed and saw that, in his sleep, Kaiba had crawled closer toward him—seeking the closeness and the body heat.
"The cooks left some dinner for you and Seto…Do you want them to bring up a plate?"
"Um…sure," Joey said, feeling that if he left the room Kaiba would wake up and come find him—and probably complain about being woken up.
"Is he feeling any better?" Mokuba asked, looking at his brother. "He doesn't usually come home early even if he is sick."
"He's just tired," Joey said.
Mokuba hesitated and then disappeared to get the maid to bring up Joey's dinner. As soon as the food was brought to him, Joey moved over to Kaiba's desk to eat. Mokuba didn't stick around to talk, but that was fine. Joey didn't feel up to conversation.
His mind was stuck in a terrible cycle of anger, humiliation, confusion, and a tad bit of something else. He felt affection for Kaiba and he was glad that Kaiba had been there to save him, but at the same time he wished the rich boy would just butt out. It was humiliating to be a grown man and to have to have someone else come save him from his own father. Thus the cycle just went on and on. He was grateful, he was embarrassed, he was angry, he was thankful…
When his food was gone, Joey turned to look at Kaiba who was sleeping on his stomach, his face turned to the side yet still buried in the pillow. He didn't look particularly vulnerable in his sleep, but he was certainly less intimidating.
Until his eyes slid open.
Joey cringed when, all of a sudden, he was being stared down by those cold, blue yes.
"Can I…help you with somethin', rich boy?" Joey asked when Kaiba just kept staring. He almost wondered if Kaiba was still asleep, but then he blinked and furrowed his brow.
"Why did you get up?"
"I'm not tired."
"Come back to bed."
"No. I'm not tired." Joey turned to look down at his empty plate. He didn't feel like sleeping. He wanted to think…he wanted to move around. Maybe go for a walk.
"Wheeler," Kaiba said, his voice stern as if he had a right to command Joey around just because he'd saved him.
"Kaiba," Joey mimicked, imitating Kaiba's tone.
"Joey," Kaiba said, almost sounding playful—or as playful as an uptight guy like Kaiba could sound.
Joey hesitated for a moment, but found that he couldn't rise to the occasion. It felt wrong to call Kaiba anything other than, well, Kaiba. Calling him by his first name…it just felt wrong.
"Kaiba," Joey said, trying to mock Kaiba's tone but failing to have half as much energy.
"Come back to bed," Kaiba repeated.
This time, Joey sighed and gave in. He laid down next to the brunette and sighed heavily. Kaiba just kept staring at him, but this time Joey just gave the same look back—staring straight into those frigid eyes that people either loved or feared. Kaiba's eyes were bleary though, red-rimmed and watery from his cold. Perhaps it was because the illness made Kaiba look more human—less mechanical, less perfect—but Joey found himself to be comforted.
In their whole history together, Kaiba had only served to bully Joey for being inexperienced, being weaker, being poorer. Now, all of that had stopped almost instantly and instead of critical, Kaiba had become affectionate—protective. It was so bizarre, and yet Joey found himself adjusting.
Kaiba wasn't making fun of him or mocking him for being unable to protect himself against his father. He'd just come silently to the rescue, and all he seemed to want in return was quiet compassion as he attempted to sleep off his cold.
To be honest, Kaiba was almost pitiful. Not just because he was sick, but because he was uncomfortable and didn't seem to know what to ask for or how to ask. All he could do was lie there and demand that Joey lie next to him. He may have boasted earlier that he could take care of himself, but it was slowly becoming obvious that deep down he didn't want to have to console himself. Joey was here now as his partner and Kaiba seemed determined to make use of him in any way possible.
"Don't go back to that house," Kaiba said, maintaining the prolonged eye contact that Joey had started.
"Don't tell me what to do, rich boy," Joey said, looking away. He tried to roll over, but Kaiba grabbed him and made him lie on his side so they faced each other.
"It's not about you anymore," Kaiba said, reaching out with his hand and touching Joey's head, making him wince. When he pulled back his hand, there was blood on his fingertips and Joey flinched. "Seeing this…it pisses me off. You live with me now. I might not own you, but you're mine. And people don't hurt what's mine and walk away from it."
"I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but please don't kill my dad. With him dead and you in jail, I'm not gonna have anywhere to go."
"Then stay here. Don't go back to that house."
"Fine," Joey muttered, looking away. It wasn't as sincere as it should be, but he couldn't promise that he would never see his father again. Even now, still bleeding and still woozy from the blows to the head, Joey couldn't say he hated his father. He trusted him less than ever before, but if it weren't for his father, Joey could've ended up like Kaiba—in an orphanage or on the streets.
Or worse.
( ) ( ) ( )
Joey didn't remember falling asleep. One moment he'd just been lying next to Kaiba and he'd let his eyes close, then he felt the mattress shift and when he opened them it was dark and Kaiba was sitting up in the bed next to him—a dark silhouette among shadows.
"Hey," Joey said, is voice raw with sleep. He tried to sit up, but Kaiba pushed down on his shoulder to keep him against the bed. "What's wrong?"
Kaiba shushed him and leaned down to press a kiss on the corner of Joey's mouth, his lip grazing against the cut on Joey's bottom lip. Joey went to return the kiss, but stiffened when he felt the bed shift as Kaiba moved over him, one of his knees on each side of Joey's hips.
"What are you doing?" Joey asked, fear hitting him but only because of how sudden it all was. He still wasn't used to being awake, and the medication for pain he'd taken earlier had worn off leaving him with a horrible headache.
Instead of answering, Kaiba kissed Joey on the mouth again, then the cheek, down his jaw until he was nipping at Joey's throat. One of Kaiba's hands came to rest on base of Joey's neck, holding him still, the other started tracing along the inside of Joey's thigh.
Joey squirmed a little, but didn't fight it. He was nervous that if he resisted too forcefully, Kaiba would just become more forceful like he had in the past when they'd been working together on the class project. Still, he didn't know what was happening enough to be sure if he wanted to reciprocate—or if there was any reciprocating to be done.
Kaiba's signals had never made any sense. His kisses were always forceful and even when they led to something sexual, Kaiba never let Joey touch him back.
When the fingers teasing Joey's thighs finally reached their prize, Joey decided something needed to change. It didn't matter if he was in the mood or not. Kaiba obviously was and nothing short of fists or tears would get him to stop. Joey didn't feel like fighting and he wasn't exactly against the idea of seeing where the sucking at his neck or the stroking through his jeans could get him enough to start forcing tears.
"You couldn't wait until I was awake, could you, rich boy?" Joey asked, giving Kaiba the go-ahead in his own way. He wanted to act casually, desperate to keep his mounting anxiety in check. In his head he was starting to create an image of how he wanted this to happen, but he was almost positive that Kaiba would have his way and no other. And maybe he deserved that. All Kaiba knew of sex was force and violence. Maybe he deserved a chance to call the shots and see that not every partner he could have was going to hurt him or shame him or make him feel less than human.
When Kaiba said nothing in response, Joey lifted his hands and slid them under the CEOs shirt, carefully smoothing his hands over the skin of Kaiba's back. In turn, Kaiba started sucking at Joey's neck harder, leaving the smallest of marks before moving to a different spot. Joey could feel Kaiba's pulse—his heart pounding just as fast as Joey's.
He wondered if Kaiba's mind was racing just as fast or if all thought had abandoned him by that point. All Joey could really think was the same thought he'd had before—this was happening. This was really happening.
Joey had been with women before, but it had never been quite like this. He didn't want to admit how nervous he was, not just for himself but for Kaiba as well. This wasn't just another one night stand with a faceless girl he'd have to avoid in the hallways at school for a few weeks. This was Seto Kaiba. This was his housemate, his boyfriend. A victim who didn't know what he was doing or how to do it right.
He was scared. Joey was terrified. He was afraid Kaiba would hurt him—maybe on purpose, maybe on accident. Then he was afraid of what Kaiba would do when that happened. Would he just keep going? Would he panic and stop? Would he panic and stop and then go into a rage? Or depression? And what if Joey wasn't the one who got hurt? What if something else went wrong, or what if Kaiba got all the way to the edge and then realized he couldn't go through with it?
The only thing Joey knew for sure was that he wasn't willing to let Kaiba do what he'd done before. Kaiba needed the release more than Joey did, and Joey felt that without it, Kaiba was just going to become more high strung and pushy until he would have no escape besides violence. He understood that Kaiba still had the scars from what Gozaburo had done to him, but he needed to recover or there was a very real possibility that all his self-denial would just turn him into the same sort of monster as his stepfather.
Joey let Kaiba strip him of his shirt, and put up very little protest when the brunette slid a hand down the front of his pants. Joey took a risk and slid his palms to Kaiba's sides, then down to his hips. As soon as his fingertips dipped below the waistband of Kaiba's work slacks, Kaiba stiffened.
"Stop it," he said, his mouth still close to Joey's throat.
"It's okay," Joey said, trying to sound consoling but not condescending. "It's—It'll be fine." He didn't know what to say to Kaiba. He doubted that any words would help, but he had a faint hope that maybe, if he could get Kaiba to let his guard down just enough for this, then Kaiba would get better. Then he'd heal and he'd be alright—maybe the nightmares would stop and the rage fits would stop…
"I said stop," Kaiba repeated, moving to kiss Joey on the mouth.
Joey cringed as he made himself ignore the request. He kept his hands on Kaiba's hips, just holding them and trying to show Kaiba that he didn't mean any harm.
After a few more moments of nipping at Joey's throat and stroking him, Kaiba seemed to have forgotten the hands on him and Joey dared to slide them lower. He felt guilty, knowing that Kaiba had more than enough reasons to feel uncomfortable with the touch, but he just wanted Kaiba to move on—to move past the bad things.
When Kaiba finally made the move to undo Joey's fly and expose him, Joey closed his eyes tightly and slid one of his hands forward. As Joey's hand cupped him, Kaiba jerked backwards, hissing as if burned.
"I said—"
"Shh," Joey said, moving with Kaiba when he leaned away. "It's okay. Come on. You can trust me—just trust me." Kaiba stayed rigid, one of his hands fixed on Joey's wrist, preparing to pull it away. "It's okay."
He could feel the tension surging through Kaiba's body. He was so obviously uncomfortable and no matter what Joey did, no matter how many kisses he pressed to his throat or how many soft words he whispered, Kaiba didn't relax.
"We won't get hurt," Joey mumbled, knowing that if he put all of it on Kaiba, there was no way the brunette would stay. Kaiba wasn't just worried about himself, and to be accused of that would just make him angry. Kaiba was afraid he'd hurt Joey, too.
"I told you to stop it," Kaiba said, forcing Joey's hands out of his pants and pushing them aside.
"Kaiba, I don't want it to just be me," Joey said. "Let me… I want to give something back to you."
"That's not—"
"You can trust me." In the dark, Joey couldn't really see Kaiba's face, but he felt some of the tension leave his body. Joey leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to Kaiba's mouth. When Kaiba started kissing back, Joey opened his mouth and fell back against the mattress. He opened his legs a little wider so Kaiba could fit between them and wrapped his arms around the brunette's shoulders, not willing to risk moving too quickly again.
Kaiba wasted no time wrapping his hand around Joey's length. He started stroking him until Joey had wormed his way out of his pants, but he froze when Joey started touching him in return. Whenever Kaiba would start to pull back, Joey would kiss him deeply in an attempt to distract him. It never really seemed to work, but Joey didn't want to stop trying.
He had a feeling that if he could just get Kaiba past this point—if he could get him to let go of his fear and let the want and the need take over—then everything would be okay. Kaiba would stop being pushy and forceful, maybe even relax a little more in his daily life. It was doubtful getting in Kaiba's pants would really make that much of an impact, but Joey hoped it would help even if it was just a little.
But nothing could change if Kaiba just kept resisting. Joey understood that Kaiba was scared—nervous, shy maybe—and haunted, but he'd never seen Kaiba as the type to let the past hold him back from anything.
( ) ( ) ( )
Seto was losing control again. He felt it slipping faster and faster out of his hands, and even if Joey was trying to coax him to let go, Seto couldn't bring himself to do it. There was too much going on in his mind—more than a punk like Joey would ever understand—and a few good kisses weren't going to distract his thoughts from how uncomfortable it was to have someone else's hands on his body. Joey didn't realize how close he'd come to getting punched. It took every scrap and shred of self-control that Seto could muster to keep from instinctively bringing his fist down on Joey's nose when the blonde dared to reach inside of his pants.
He'd told Joey not to do it. He'd asked him to stop but Joey just kept pushing it. Seto still wasn't sure how he'd kept himself from throwing a punch when everything in his body had been poised and ready.
Now Joey's hand was there again and Seto didn't know what to think. He started to feel panicked and he couldn't let that side of him show. Not here. Not now.
So he gave in. All he had to do was shut his eyes and focus on giving in, blocking everything out—blocking out his thoughts, his memories, his life—and just giving in to what he knew came next.
He had skin lotion in the drawer of his nightstand, but no condoms. There was a chance that Joey had picked up some kind of disease somewhere, but they'd kissed when Joey's lip had been cut and bleedings so if there were illnesses to be caught, Seto would already have them. Seto didn't want it to show that he had no idea what he was doing, even if he'd learned by example all those years ago. He didn't let himself hesitate.
He couldn't.
"Come on," Joey moaned. He sounded lustful and needy, and he had his hands on Seto's hips, stroking them and squeezing when Seto took too long to make a move. "If you don't, I'm gonna find someone who will, Rich boy."
Seto knew he couldn't wait any longer—the more he hesitated, the weaker he looked. Soon that moaning would turn to pity, and if Joey muttered one thing about how the past was over, Seto would lose his mind. Even now, he still felt the rage—but this time he was going to channel it into something other than his company, other than work.
So he grabbed the bottle of lotion and worked more than a fair amount onto the fingers of his dominant hand. He gave Joey one last, deep kiss before working the first finger inside, then the second. When he managed to get Joey moaning, Seto added the third. And when Joey stopped whimpered, Seto sighed and prepared himself for what had to come next.
( ) ( ) ( )
Joey cried out when Kaiba finally pushed inside. The brunette immediately stopped moving, but didn't say anything or even ask if Joey was alright. He understood, and waited until Joey finally stopped moaning in pain and shaking. It hurt, but it wasn't horrible and Joey knew the pain would stop eventually—especially with Kaiba's hand slowly pumping Joey's erection to keep him distracted.
After a moment, Kaiba was able to move and Joey felt that it didn't hurt so bad—what had felt like getting stabbed just felt like a cut, then a pinch. He leaned up for a kiss, hoping for an bit of passion that might distract him from the lingering pain.
Kaiba kissed him hard and thrust in all the way, inadvertently making him scream as the pinch grew back into a stabbing pain that shot all the way up his spine. Kaiba froze and let Joey adjust, whispering into his ear that he needed to relax—as if he really thought relaxing would be that easy. He kissed Joey neck and throat, and then kissed him deeply on the mouth, sucking his tongue until Joey stopped groaning in pain.
Seconds later, Kaiba pulled out slightly—making Joey whimper—and then pushed back in slowly. At the same time Joey yelped in pain, Kaiba let out his first moan of pleasure. For a moment Joey was afraid that Kaiba would move again and more quickly now that he was finding enjoyment, but Kaiba stayed still, his arms shaking as he supported his weight, as if waiting for a cue. Joey hesitated before giving him one, trying hard to adjust to the pain.
He couldn't image Kaiba having gone through this as a child with a full grown man on top of him.
When Kaiba finally set up a rhythm, the pain was a little easier to get used to. Soon, the pain wasn't really there at all except for a slow, dull burn. And then Kaiba struck something inside of him that made Joey's back arch and his eyes go wide. He kept hitting it over and over, and then reached around to start stroking Joey's cock until the pain was all but gone.
Joey finished first, feeling his cheeks flush an even darker shade of red as his seed spattered on the mattress. He groaned softly and let his face come to rest on the damp pillow, shaking with over-stimulation as Kaiba continued to move in and out of him.
Kaiba's fingers dug into Joey's hips, making him meet the trusts even though Joey was too exhausted to move on his own. His movements became harsher and harsher, making Joey whimper—not exactly in protest but in discomfort—and clutch at the blankets. When Kaiba finally finished, pulling out seconds before his release, Joey collapsed down onto the bed, still shaking and more fatigued than ever. He groaned as he made himself roll over, wanting to keep Kaiba in check since he hadn't moved to lie down or get up after finishing. He just stayed kneeling there, looking at Joey but not really seeing him.
"You gonna come down here, rich boy, or are you just gonna stare at me?" Joey said, trying to stay lighthearted even though he was starting to get a sinking feeling in his gut. It was dark in the room yet Kaiba's posture still suggested that he was uncomfortable. "Kaiba?" Joey pressed, trying to keep a playful tone.
Kaiba leaned over him, moving to crawl over Joey's body once again before leaning down and kissing him gently on the lips.
"I'll be back."
Joey barely had the chance to reach for Kaiba's hand to stop him before Kaiba was up and out of the bed, gone into the bathroom where Joey heard the shower start running. With a soft sigh, Joey sat up in the bed, trying to adjust to the new pain. He waited about fifteen minutes before crawling out of the bed and going into the bathroom. He made a point to cough upon entry of the bathroom, not wanting Kaiba to think he was sneaking up on him, and then stood a moment outside of the shower.
He thought to ask if he could join Kaiba, but was almost certain the CEO would either say no or not answer him at all. Taking a deep breath, Joey let himself into the shower and wrapped his arms carefully around Kaiba's shoulders, nuzzling the back of his neck despite the tension that seized his muscles. At any second, Kaiba could either turn and yell at him or lash out at him physically. It was obvious Kaiba was distressed, and whenever he felt any negative emotion he almost always translated it into rage.
"What are you doing?" Kaiba asked. Joey was surprised at how collected his voice was. He barely spoke any louder than the stream of water coming from the spacious shower.
"I missed you," Joey said after toying with the question in his mind for a moment. He didn't want to say he was worried about Kaiba—but he knew that would just make the other more defensive, more likely to mask his emotions than before.
"I told you I would be back," Kaiba said, grabbing a bottle of shampoo and then pulling away from Joey in order to wash his hair. While he washed his hair, Joey grabbed for the abandoned loofa lying on the other side of the shower's floor as though Kaiba had tossed it once he was finished with it. He rinsed it under the shower stream and then grabbed the body wash to lather the loofa back up.
They said nothing as they showered, and Joey made a point to slip out and dry off before Kaiba did. He felt that Kaiba still wanted to be alone, maybe needing time to process what happened, maybe just needing a minute to himself after spending so long a time with another person.
Joey was back in the bed, redressed in his pajamas, a full thirty minutes before Kaiba. When the CEO came back into the room, he crawled onto the bed beside Joey and kissed him softly on the lips just as he had when he'd left to take his shower. He said nothing, and then lie down next to him and went to sleep.