"You guys want me to join Torchwood?" I asked dubiously. I'm Lucy, I'm not anyone special. I was a college student, not an agent for a secret organization. Oh but you are special now, a voice in the back of my head said, You're outfitted with alien technology, you've probably had more hands on and direct interaction with aliens than these people here.

"We need people like you, quick thinkers. I was impressed with how you handled those Weevils today. Not only that, but you have an alien device attached to your back. You're probably the most useful thing to happen to us and you didn't even come through the rift. We're here to protect the world from alien threats, and sometimes that means getting our hands dirty with alien blood. I can't count the number of deaths that could've been avoided and lives saved had you been with us. So what do you say?" Jack leaned towards me.

I had to admit, it was an attractive offer. "Would I be able to see my family again?"

A look of sadness crossed his face, "No, Lucy Schwart would have to disappear. That device on your back is too dangerous to pass to public knowledge, even to your family. I can only imagine the number of people that would search for you if they knew about it. They might use your family to get to you, so for your protection and theirs, Lucy Schwart would have to go away indefinitely."

"So what if I said no, I didn't want to join Torchwood. I'd still be out in public with this on me." How could I leave my family without even saying goodbye?

"Well then, we could no longer take responsibility with what happens to you or your family. And keep in mind, your DNA is no longer human, if you turn into an alien threat, we will have to take action." Jack crossed his arms. I knew he was serious.

"Can I have the night to think about it?" He nodded his head. "What else did you want to talk to me about?"

"The state of what is on your back. We all agree that before you go anywhere, we need to map out what each thing does. Ianto is working on finding another warehouse, this time one without Weevils. I'm sure you agree with us, so we'll work on that tomorrow. The rest of what I need to talk to you about can wait until tomorrow, when you make your decision."

"Alright, sounds like a plan to me. Do you need me for anything else?"

"No, that's all. I think Gwen wanted to speak to you, but if you're too tired from all the excitement today, I'm sure she'll understand."

I smiled at Jack and closed the door behind me. Gwen was waiting at her desk. "Hello, fancy a walk?" she asked.

"Sure, um, would it be possible to get another change of clothes?" I glanced down at what I was wearing. Gwen was right, it did scream escaped psychiatric patient.

We walked back to the room Gwen had given me the jeans and hoodie from. "You know, back in America, I don't think I ever had to make this many wardrobe changes in a day." I wondered if they would let me go out and buy a few outfits myself if I was going to be staying here much longer. The thought of wearing clothing that had once belonged to other people made me uneasy.

There were a lot of boxes in the room, a few older army uniforms were hanging up as well. I started rifling through the boxes as Gwen searched for something that would fit me. Some of the clothing in the boxes had clothing that looked to be from the mid-20th century. Behind those boxes were even more worn down boxes, they looked quite old. I didn't have a chance to peek in them because Gwen said she had found something for me to wear.

She was holding up a knee-length blue dress that was cut in an a-line. Despite the shoulders and neck being made out of lace, it was a casual dress. "I think I may have a spare pair of tights you can wear underneath, it gets quite chilly at night here this time of year. See if you can find some shoes over there while I go get them." I wondered why she wasn't giving me a set of more practical clothing. This sure was a change of pace from earlier. Maybe this was her way of trying to entice me to stay with the team.

I went through the box of shoes and found a pair in my size. They were plain and brown with a low heel, it looked like they came from the 70's. When Gwen got back, I asked her how long Torchwood had been around.

"Oh, you know, a while," she said mysteriously. I put the clothing on. "Looking good," Gwen looked me up and down, "Now you look like a proper girl and not some science experiment. Come on, let's take the scenic route and have a talk. I wish I had some make up for you to put on."

"Why?"

"Sometimes it just feels nice to feel girly." I was getting an increasing suspicion that she was hiding something from me. We walked out into the Hub, Owen wolf whistled, "Oh stop it Owen, you're making her feel uncomfortable." I actually quite liked the attention, but I would never tell Owen that, I'd be afraid of the response. It was nice though, to be treated like a person and not just a patient.

"You two going somewhere?" shouted Owen as the concrete slab started to ascend.

"I just need to speak to Lucy for a sec. I'll let you know when we're done."

"What's all this about Gwen, the dress and wanting to talk?"

She stayed quiet for a few minutes as we walked towards the water and sat on some steps. She looked like she didn't know where to start and I didn't know how to help her. I looked out over the water. It was still very murky. The sun should be setting about now, but it was hard to tell with all the cloud cover, the skies were still threatening to open up. I just hoped it would wait until later. It was nice to sit outside for a change and feel the breeze.

"I don't know what you told Jack, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to join Torchwood. I love this job, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's dangerous and you'll probably never have a normal life outside of it. There is no leaving this job. It's like a drug you can't quit. This job gets to you. I can't look at the sky without thinking of all the alien planets out there. Everything seems so small and pointless compared to it. I know you're already permanently tangled up in this because of your back, but there are other options."

"Like what?" My only options seems to be join Torchwood, or not. How could there be anything else?

"We could freeze you until we develop a way to get that off your back. You wouldn't age and we could wake you right back up as soon as we get something."

"And how long would that take?" I didn't want to be frozen for centuries. What if something happened and they forgot about me?

"Who knows? A month, a year? Something that could help us could fall through the rift tomorrow, it's impossible to tell."

"I don't think so. I haven't given Jack my answer yet, but I'd rather be out in the world than doing nothing. Like you said, who knows when you would wake me up? My old life would be gone by then anyway, not that I'd even be able to return to it now. Jack said if I joined, I wouldn't be able to talk to my family or friends anymore, Lucy Schwart would go missing indefinitely," Gwen nodded her head, "is that what the rest of you had to do?"

"No, you're situation is a bit unique, with the alien device and all."

"What happens when the Doctor comes back for me. He is coming back right? I heard Jack saying he left a note saying he'd be back. What then?"

"I don't know Lucy, Jack never really talks about that Doctor bloke. As for when he'll be back, we don't even know how he got here in the first place, or how he left, who's to say he'll ever be back. He was probably afraid of what that thing would do to you and rather us kill you than him have to do it if you were dangerous. Seems a bit cowardly to me." She looked out over the water.

I just pondered on that for a bit. I didn't know what to say, she had a point. Why didn't the Doctor stay? I sighed. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about? It's a bit chilly out here and I'd rather go in."

"Well, the team was talking about taking you out for drinks tonight. They all thought you'd say yes right away. I suppose we can go out for drinks anyway. We Welsh don't really need an excuse to drink. Come on, I'll text the others and they can meet us somewhere."

Gwen led me to a pub. From my American eye, it was the typical english pub; wood paneling, fat old guy behind the bar serving, a row of taps. The bar was floating in the center of the room with stools set around it. There were only a couple of people in the bar. It was still early and was a Thursday night. I suspected tomorrow it would be a lot more crowded for the weekend. The bartender asked me what I wanted to drink, I just looked at Gwen, "I don't have any money, " I whispered to her.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'll pick up your tab tonight, plus you don't look like a heavy weight," she smiled with her gap tooth grin. She ordered me a lager. We sat there, quietly nursing our drinks until everyone else came in. It was a few minutes before everyone arrived. The only person missing was Jack. Owen said he was staying behind to monitor the rift activity, it had been awfully quiet lately. Everyone solemnly nodded in agreement.

"Let's not talk about work tonight everyone. This is an evening of celebrating our new member!" Owen raised his glass. Toshiko and Ianto followed the suit, but I just looked down into my glass, I had assumed Gwen did the same.

"She hasn't given Jack her answer yet Owen and frankly, I think it's a good idea she gives it a bit of thought. This isn't an easy job." Gwen put her arm on my shoulder. "But I agree it'll be good not to talk about work for a change."

I was glad Gwen had answered for me. I didn't have the heart to tell Owen, who had put so much of his time into helping me, that I might not join. It was a hard decision. It would mean having to give up everything, including myself.

We all sat around and talked for a while, the conversation not quite as happy now that everyone didn't know whether or not to celebrate. After a while, the conversations had split off a bit. Toshiko was arguing with Ianto about something to do with ethics. Gwen had stepped outside to talk on the phone with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Owen was downing his third beer. I didn't know how he did it, I had barely finished my first and was gingerly sipping at my second. Drinking wasn't really my thing. I much rather be home, curled up with a nice book or my knitting.

"You know the best thing about working with Jack is you never know what to expect," Owen started, "I remember one time there had been a spike in rift activity a little outside the city, in the suburbs. Imagine it, cookie cutter houses everywhere with the fancy little trimmed garden and gnomes and what-have-you. We pin pointed the location of the activity when all of a sudden we hear this scream. We all got out of the SUV and ran into this lady's backyard. There she was with her rubbers on, holding a garden hoe in one hand and a flower with the other. Now a first glance, this flower looked like a normal daisy, but she was holding it away from her face, her arm completely covered in this green slime that was oozing from the flower. Next thing you know, the flower grew and grew like the magic beanstalk from the fairy tale until it burst everywhere! It covered us all in this horrible slime that took forever to get out of my hair. Poor Toshiko was still pulling it out of her hair weeks later.

"I remember she was giving her report to the team about the flower and its composition when she was scratching her head and all of a sudden, a huge glob of it fell onto her hand!" Owen snorted into his glass, laughing trying to tell the next part "So, so she flings it off her hand in surprise and bam! It hits Jack straight in the face!" Owen was howling at this point, "The look on his face was priceless."

"I hope you're not telling her the story about that horrible exploding flower. Just when I got all that goop out of my hair, Tosh had to go flinging another piece right in it." Jack had appeared out of no where, a smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Alright team, there was a huge spike in rift activity five minutes ago, let's go, I've got the SUV parked out front. I'd really rather not have to pay another parking ticked after the one Owen racked up for us infront of that law house."

"Hey, you told me to pull over, so I did!" he rebuttled.

Jack shot him a look, "Where's Gwen?"

"She went out front to talk to Rhys, didn't you see her?"

"No, alright, someone call her and tell her we're moving out. Lucy, you coming?" I was taken aback. I wasn't technically part of the team, so I didn't know what my responsibility would be. I supposed it wouldn't hurt to go and shadow, just in case.

"Uh, sure." I wasn't really dressed for it, but I guess that couldn't be helped. I walked out front with Toshiko and Owen and got into the SUV.

"I don't think so, buddy, not with how much you've drank tonight." Jack hauled Owen out of the driver seat.

"Oi, you don't even know how much I drank!" he protested.

"Judging by the amount of time you've been there, I'd say you've had at least three. I'd rather not get my whole team killed by a drunk driver tonight. Tosh, what do you have about that rift activity?"

Owen reluctantly climbed in the back with me. "Seems to have happened somewhere on these cross streets," she said pointing to her mobile GPS, "definitely was a huge spike, but it was short. Hopefully whatever came through is still in the area, we'd better hurry, just in case." She was sitting in the mini workstation on the back. I was astonished at how much equipment they were able to fit back there.

"Ianto, where's Gwen?"

"I can't get ahold of her, sir."

"Alright, well, just get in, she'll have to meet us there. Let's move out." He hit the gas pedal and started driving according to Toshiko's directions, she was trying to get more information on exactly what came out of the rift so that we would know what to expect.

"This latest rift spike did just what my calculations predicted; it was seeming like something was blocking up the rift, something huge, and it's finally belched it out. I'm trying to locate and CCTV that might clue us into what we're facing," Toshiko was tapping furiously at her computer. "It's a mostly residential area so there aren't a whole lot of surveillance cameras in the area." Jack glances at her in the rear view mirror and sped up. Apparently everyone was thinking the same thing, If this thing was dangerous, the last place it needs to be is in a residential area.

Toshiko clicked her tongue, "I can't find any footage, we're going to have to go into this blind. I'll keep an eye on surrounding footage, but there's nothing at the actual site. If it's mobile, it hasn't appeared to have moved yet. Oh, take a left at this road Jack, we're almost there."

"Ianto, any word from Gwen yet?"

"Nothing sir. I'll keep trying."

The closer we got, the more nervous I felt. The sinking feeling just seemed get deeper and deeper. Maybe it was just be, but the rest of the team seemed to be a little more fidgety than normal. Owen's leg kept shaking and Toshiko kept clicking between screens a lot. There didn't seem to be the excitement in the air that I had felt before when the team went out to investigate their "unusual activity".

Jack stopped right before he entered the crossroads that Toshiko had names. We all climbed out of the SUV, myself reluctantly.

The scene was very bizarre, almost a little too staged. The street lights were casting an eerie glow on the entire intersection. Off in the distance, thunder growled, it looked like we'd be getting a storm tonight afterall. A sudden breeze went through the trees, causing the whole team to jump. And right in the center of the intersection, and I mean dead center, like if you took a tape measure and measured to each road at the intersection, they'd be exactly equidistant, was a small rectangular box. It couldn't be more than a foot in length and six inches in height. At this distance, it was impossible to tell what it was made out of. The shadows that the streetlights cast on it made it seem black.

"Alright, is it me or does anyone else have the heebeejeebies?" Owen asked. I thought it had just been me, being nervous about going out with the team on official business.

"I thought it was just me," Jack answered and glanced back at us. "I don't like this. According to Toshiko, we should have been expecting something huge and not just a box. Toshiko, any interesting readings?"

"I'm getting huge energy reading from the box, but I can't tell exactly what it is yet. It doesn't seem to be dangerous, no radiation, no signs of life forms. It looks like this is the only thing to come through. Despite the fact it's giving off huge amounts of energy, it really shouldn't have been causing any kind of back up in the rift, we've had bigger things come through before."

"Ok, well let's go pick it up before it gets run over." We all walked purposefully towards it, but stopped about ten feet away. There was a nagging feeling I kept getting, like someone was watching me. i kept having to look over my shoulder to check. The sinking feeling in my stomach also hadn't gone away, in fact, it seemed to get worse. Every nerve in my body at this point seemed to be screaming at me to get back in the SUV and to get as far away from this thing as possible. I looked at the other team members. If Owen had hackles, they would be raised, he kept glancing around like I was. A single tear rolled down Toshiko's face, she hadn't even seemed to notice. Ianto and Jack had drawn guns and were pointing at the shadows. Everyone seemed to be teetering on a knife's edge.

No one seemed to want to move closer. "So what now?" I asked, my voice cracking. I didn't know why I was so scared, it was just a box.

Jack looked at the box. "Tosh, any life signs?" she shook her head. "I keep feeling like I'm seeing something just out of the corner of my eye. I really don't like this. Someone go get that thing so we can get out of here." Still no one moved.

I sighed, was this the kind of thing they dealt with dail\y? Ominous boxes in the middle of the street? Why was everyone so nervous?

Owen and I started moving towards the box at the same time, "Jack, cover us. I don't like this just as much as you. I feel like something is going to jump out at us."

When we got closer to it, it was easier to see the detail on the box. It was a plain black box that didn't have a lid, it was seamless and looked like it was made out of plastic. On the side opposite us there were a few nobs, unlabeled. Each step towards the thing made my legs scream to go in the opposite direction. I could feel my hands tremble as I was reaching down towards it. Oh for God's sake, it's just a box Lucy, get it together!

The box seemed warm as I picked it up, but definitely not a pleasant warm. It was like all the things in the world that weren't nicely warm; room temperature milk, a creepy person's sweaty hands, putting a hand too close to a turned on light bulb, vomit.

Nothing seemed to happen when I picked it up. In fact, as soon as I picked it up, all the tension seemed to dissolve away. I turned back to the team to tell them it was ok and we were all just being silly. The sight that greeting me was not the one I left.

Everyone was strewn on the ground, bloody. It looked like something had attacked them. I looked down at Owen, who had been standing next to me seconds ago. He looked like he had been in a fight with a meat grinder. There was blood everywhere. His arm was half torn off and he wasn't breathing. Oh God. I started hyperventilating. From the time I had picked up the box to when I had straightened up couldn't have been more than two seconds. What was going on?

I saw someone stir on the ground. I ran over to him, or what was left of him. It was Captain Jack. I fell to my knees next to him, tears pouring out my eyes, the box still in hand. "Oh God Jack, what happened?"

"I knew I was wrong to trust you Lucy, I told the team you'd be a threat but they wouldn't listen and now they're all dead because of you." He half whispered, blood was coming out of his mouth.

"Jack, what are you talking about, what happened?" I could still feel the hot tears pouring out of my eyes.

"Don't pretend like you don't know. Look at your hands, that's our- " he coughed, it was a chest heaving wrack, "our blood on them. I only hope he can put a stop to you." With that, Jack's eyes glazed over and he was dead.

I stood up and backed away, this couldn't be happening. What did he mean I did this? I looked down at my hands, I didn't even realize I wasn't holding the box anymore. They were covered in blood up to my elbows. The dress Gwen gave me was stained blood, their blood.

I turned around. In the center of the street where the box had been originally, the Doctor was standing, sonic screwdriver in hand. "You came back, Doctor you have to help them!" I looked back at where my team had been, they were gone. It looked like nothing had happened. I spun back towards the Doctor was standing, he was now walking towards me.

"No one can help them now Lucy, they're dead, you killed them, you're a monster." he lifted his sonic screw driver up at me and the blue light came on. "Lucy, I'm so sorry, I'm so very sorry." My vision went black.

I opened my eyes and sat blot upright, or tried to, there were hands holding my wrists and shoulders. Someone was screaming. "Lucy, Lucy! It's us, calm down!" I realized it was me screaming, I stopped and looked around, my eyes wide. Owen was holding my wrists, Jack had his hands on my shoulders. Toshiko was standing off to the side with her hand covering her mouth. Ianto was no where to been seen.

What was going on? I had just seen them all dead. The box was now laying across the street on it's side, like it had been kicked over there.

Someone was talking to me, but I wasn't paying attention, I was trying to figure out what I had just seen. I wrenched my hands away from Owen's grasp and looked them over, no blood. My mouth was still hanging open, Owen was shining a light in my eyes at this point, I realized he was asking me questions, "Sorry, what?" I hadn't made out what he said.

"He was asking you what happened." Jack was standing up, still looking around. The tension was back in the air. Rain was starting to fall.

"I- I don't know." I reluctantly told them what I had saw. I didn't want them thinking I would actually kill them.

"Ianto's going to get a special containment chamber from the Hub now. When you picked that thing up, you immediately started seizing. Owen thought it was your device malfunctioning, but as soon as Jack kicked it out of your hands, you stopped seizing and started screaming. We didn't know what was going on," Toshiko informed me. "Jack, there were huge energy spike coming out of that thing after she picked it up, any idea what it is?" Owen helped me to my feet, the rain started coming down harder now.

"No, I want this area clear though until Ianto gets back and no one touch that thing. Has anyone been able to get ahold of Gwen?" Just as Jack said that, a car pulled up and Gwen came running out.

"Sorry Jack, I had to run back to the flat really quick to help Rhys with something." she shouted, still running towards it. Gwen seemed to be unfazed by it, or hadn't noticed its effect yet. "Is that it? I was expecting something bigger." She reached down to pick it up, "What a dis-"

"Gwen no, don't-" Jack was shouting just as she touched it. It was too late though, her hand was already on it, her eyes had a blank stare. It was like she was looking at something that wasn't there.

"Gwen?" Toshiko asked tentatively. No response. Jack knocked it out of her hands with her foot, and then the screaming started again.