You could hardly blame Shadow for the destruction of glassware; if anybody else had been holding a glass at that time, they would doubtless have dropped it too. As it was Charmy spilled a bowl of popcorn all over the carpet, and Sonic nearly choked. After an awkward spell of silent disbelief, Knuckles was the first to speak.

"You're . . . not serious, are you?" he ventured, hesitantly. ". . . Me?"

Amy's glance flickered to the floor, but she smiled wanly, almost fearfully. She was clearly bracing for some kind of furious rejection from the echidna she had just announced her love for.

"You . . . are serious," said Knuckles, his pupils shrinking noticeably.

"I'm sorry," whispered Amy, stepping back from the mike. "I shouldn't have announced it in front of everyone like that. I really shouldn't have. But . . . I didn't want to tell you in secret either, it would feel too much like sneaking behind everyone's back."

"You . . . are in love . . . with Knuckles," said Espio slowly, as if he were struggling to learn a foreign language.

"Have been for a while," sighed Amy, striding back to her place and throwing herself into her seat. "But hey, can we not make this any harder than it has to be? It's over with, let's all just forget about this and move on. No big deal."

"No no no, hold on here," interrupted Rouge, waving one hand. "This bears further explanation, Pinkie. You've been chasing after a reluctant Sonic, wildly proclaiming your love for him, and trying to arrange a wedding with him for years now. And suddenly you tell us you're in love not with him, but with Knuckles? This is some kind of ploy to make him jealous, isn't it?"

"I knew you'd say that," groaned Amy, scrubbing her hands over her face. "No. No, but it's a long story."

"The night is young," replied Rouge flatly.

Amy peeked between her fingers and saw the others watching her, curiosity plain on every face. Also a fair amount of disbelief, confusion, and some vague hints of amusement here and there. It didn't look like the kind of posse you could deny an answer to.

"All right," she sighed at last. "Fine."

Knitting her fingers, she began.

"It all started back when I was really young, and I first met Sonic—back on the Little Planet, you remember?"

"Mhm," murmured Sonic, nodding vaguely. Like Peter Pan, he tended to leave far-distant memories in a sort of amalgamous blur—too many Eggman battles to make a special note for each one.

"Well, back when Sonic first rescued me from Metal Sonic, we were both really young . . . and I kinda did get a crush on him then," continued Amy. "You know how it is when you're little. Anyway, I followed him around for a little while, but eventually I realized that he wasn't interested, since he kept running away."

"Noooo," said Rouge, raising an eyebrow. "You actually took that hint?"

"Oh, shut up," retorted Amy, surprisingly irritable. "Exactly how stupid do you think I am?" She blew through her nose crossly and resumed. "Anyway, I decided I wasn't interested in him either, in that case. I'd just met Knuckles and Tails by that point—Sonic hadn't even met the rest of you guys yet—and I figured I'd just settle down peacefully, become one of the gang, go on with life, you know? But then I got an offer."

At this point Amy glanced around and gave a nervous smile.

"I'm really sorry, but I can't name any names right here. I'm sworn to strict secrecy—I probably shouldn't even be telling you this."

Several already-interested faces became even more interested—particularly Shadow and Rouge's. Secrecy of this sort almost certainly meant something of a military nature—and yeah, it also did make the news even more juicy. What're ya gonna do?

"It was an offer from a . . . company," ventured Amy. "Sort of. A technology company, I guess you could call it. Sonic had just started getting really world-wide famous at that point, and the . . . company was really interested in his speed. They wanted to develop new technology based on it, but when they asked Sonic to explain where he got his speed from, he wouldn't tell them."

"Woah, woah, woah," interrupted Sonic, raising one hand. "Juuuust a minute here! First of all, I couldn't have told them where I got my speed from, because I don't know. I don't even know how it works right now. But more importantly, I don't remember anyone ever asking me about that in the first place!"

"Are you suggesting I'm making this up?" asked Amy icily, folding her arms.

"I'm just saying." Sonic shrugged exaggeratedly. "I'm pretty sure I'd remember some random super-secret company asking me to explain my speed powers, even if it was years ago."

"Sonic," said Amy flatly. "What happened just after Tails' sixth birthday?"

"Whaddaya mean, 'after' it?" retorted Sonic. "The night after? The day after? The year after?"

Amy turned.

"Tails?"

"Eggman launched one of his bigger plots: redirecting the River Fen into a valley to create a hydroelectric generator for his factories," replied Tails promptly. "Don't you remember that, Sonic? That mission was extra-hard, because there was so much water!"

"Sure, of course I remember that!" breezed Sonic, waving a hand. "I totally remember that, little bro. I just don't keep track of the dates really well, that's all. Got bigger stuff on my mind. I still say I'd remember—"

"Sonic," interrupted Amy again. "Where were you when you first met Blaze? What was the first thing Tails invented after you met him? Did G.U.N. ever offer you a position? Who was it who gave you the "key to the city" that's hanging by the door, and which city was it the key to?"

Sonic looked at her blankly, chagrined. He opened his mouth for a moment, found he could not offer even a single answer, and at last flopped back on the sofa, arms folded. Amy rolled her eyes.

"I think I've made my point."

A bit of silence.

"Harsh," someone murmured amusedly. Sonic cast a glare in that general direction.

"Unless there are any more interruptions?" sighed Amy. "I'm trying to make this quick. So, Sonic wouldn't or couldn't tell the company anything, and definitely wouldn't agree to any research or testing. So the company came to me. There'd been a few news articles about 'some cute little girl' throwing herself after the world's favorite hero, and they thought they could use this."

Amy leaned back with her hands behind her head, her expression becoming bitterly nostalgic.

"I became the company's spy. It was an absolutely perfect setup—I would pretend to chase after Sonic, he'd run away from me, I'd have a good chance to observe his running up close, and nobody got suspicious that I kept watching him or asking him to run. Over the years, I've collected enough observations on him that the company doesn't need me anymore. There's no more I can find for them, and they figure they can make do with the information they've got. I was relieved from my spy duties only this morning."

Blank silence greeted this announcement.

"Not much more to say," shrugged Amy. "Knuckles . . . thaaaat came later. Chasing around after Sonic so much, I got a lot of chances to hang around with Knuckles too. And over the years, well . . . " She knitted her fingers again and looked down at them, blushing. "It just sort of happened. I . . . I understand this is pretty weird of me. I'm not expecting any love back or anything, just . . . " She trailed off and eyed Knuckles shyly, her cheeks flushed bright red.

Knuckles himself was slumped so low in his seat that he was practically lying down, his two spiked mitts plastered over his face. This was too much to take in one night.

"You realize this is incredibly awkward, right?" he finally mumbled from beneath the heel of his palm.

"I know," whispered Amy, looking away. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Oh, for the love of Mike!" groaned Sonic, smacking his forehead. "Okay, I've had it. Let's get it straight, this is a joke, right? Seriously. Just some really lame, weird joke. I don't know why anyone thought this would be funny, but—"

"Shut up!" barked Amy, slamming her hands down on the table so suddenly that everyone jumped. "Shut up! That is exactly why I fell in love with Knuckles!"

"Eh?" Sonic raised an eyebrow.

"You," said Amy, glaring. "Are annoying. Really, really, really annoying. I fell in love with him because he was so different from you. And can you even imagine what it was like?! For years, running around acting like an idiot, pretending to be obsessed with you, letting you treat me like dirt, getting made fun of and called "crazy fangirl," "stalker," a lot of names I won't repeat?! Keeping up the act, constantly, never once getting even the teeniest chance to be myself?

"It wasn't so bad at first. At first I even thought I might actually fall in love with you for real, if I pretended long enough. I didn't. And then . . . then."

Amy stopped, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. It was with effort that she kept her voice level.

"You," she said quietly, "could not even imagine how sick of you I am. I have been forced to take your stupid behavior for years now. Every last stuck-up comment. Every last smug, stupid grin. Every last undeserved success, that you won by the broken backs of others. I grew to hate you. So. Much. And I had no choice but to suck it up, smiling and pretending to adore you, when he—" she pointed at Knuckles, who hid behind his mitts again "—was right there, right beside me, and I couldn't do anything about it—"

"I think that's quite enough," broke in Shadow's voice, bland but firm. Amy fixed a pair of glimmering wrath-filled eyes upon him.

"This attempt to emulate a fifty-cent romance novel has gone on long enough," continued Shadow. "Everyone, shut up and go home before something even more idiotic happens."

"Idiotic?" said Amy slowly.

CRACK!

The others stared in shock at the shattered mess of fiberboard and snack food that had just seconds ago been the table. Amy took a deep breath and drew back her hammer, glancing at Sonic briefly. Then she looked away.

"Sorry," she murmured to no one in particular, her voice wavering. "I'll leave."

She turned around, tossed her hammer aside, and strode towards the door. Somewhere in the mass of bewilderment that was currently Sonic's brain, something pushed him to get to his feet.

"Hey, now you look here—"

"Burn in hell," said Amy tearfully, and slammed the door.

Silence. Sonic stood mute, while smashed chip bags and soda cans vomited their contents over the wreckage on the living room floor. The moment for the others to relax imperceptibly and start exchanging furtive glances ticked gradually closer. Abruptly the same voice as before spoke up.

"Hm. Harsh."