A/N: This chapter is penultimate, my darlings! It's all wrapping up nicely, but I'm slightly sad. I'm going to miss Anti-Wren and her Sweetpea :')
Thank you, SkyWolf42, for the first prompt and, Wynni, for the pantsing idea in the second one. They do go well together, don't they?
That time when Wren is pursued by a gang of Goblins and smacks straight into Thorin, knocking them both down and out of the way of what would have been Azog's death blow to a weakened Thorin. Azog's swing instead catches the pursuing goblins.
That time Thorin tried to contain his laughter, while Wren stole the pants right off Azog in the middle of battle.
Dain leapt ahead, a wooden training sword in his hand, and his precise heavy blow landed on Fili's leather breastplate. The blond Dwarf laughed loudly and shook his head in disbelief.
"Continue the same way, Dain, and your adad will let you practise with a real sword." Dain gave his cousin a low bow and smiled widely.
His hair was of deep chestnut colour, facial features noble, clearly reminiscent of his father's, but he had his mother's eyes, slanted and of astonishing green colour. Too slender and light for a Khazad, he was nonetheless deadly, remarkable swording talent in him awoken early, perhaps an inheritance from both of his parents. From the earliest age he was allowed to clasp to his belt the scabbard with his mother's Elven blade, and he once overheard his father murmuring to his amad that perhaps Orcrist, his father's renown blade, was to belong to him even before he'd reach battle age.
Weapons interested Dain as any boy but he didn't share Khazad infatuation with it. Strangely, herbs and medicine were his interest, he would spend hours in the Erebor Library. His amad encouraged his pursuit, she would be ready to sit with him, with a book of her own, while he would devour volumes and volumes in the endless solemn halls of the library. Dain was grateful, he knew how Khazad children were brought up, only certain endeavours encouraged in them, and as an uncrowned Queen of Erebor his mother was expected to comply with the customs. Although Dain understood that only those who didn't know her would expect such complaisance from Wren of Enedwaith. She was hardly an obedient Khazad wife material.
Dain walked to his chambers, took a quick bath and changed in his evening attire. It was dinner time, and he was to join his parents in the dining hall adjoint to his their bedchambers.
He found the room empty, though the food was already served, and he sat down. As any youngling of his age he was always hungry but manners didn't allow him to start without his kin. The door opened, and Kili and Fili walked in chatting amicably, and Dain sighed heavily. His father's favourite venison stew with caramelised apples and prunes was steaming in the middle of the table, and Dain swallowed loudly. He had just went through another growth spurt and sometimes it felt he would never feel full. He grew faster than his peers, his amad assumed his development was only slightly different from that of young Men, she also assumed that his half Khazad blood would show itself later, perhaps in a longer life and greater physical strength. At the moment Dain felt he was just as any seventeen year boy from Dale, meaning hungry and impatient.
Kili and Fili engaged him in their lively conversation, and soon he forgot about the food. His cousins were reminiscing about the Battle of Five Armies, its anniversary approaching the next moon, and the two Dwarves were once again having the same heated discussion they had had for years.
"Kili, don't be a plonker. Time after time I'm telling you, you were not there, you can't know! You were unconscious by then, lying on the ground like a hay bale, and..."
"Shut your gob, Fili!" The younger Prince of Erebor interrupted and shoved his brother's shoulder, "I was wounded later, I could still see that part, I was fighting three Orcs at that time, mind you..."
"And one of them later knocked your empty head out!" Fili interrupted in return, and they glared at each other.
"As I was saying I was fighting four Orcs..."
"There were just three of them a jiffy ago! Did they sprout from the ground or one of them gave birth?!" The blonde Dwarf's voice was venomous.
"Shut up!"
"You shut up!"
Dain cleared his throat, "You were saying, Kili..." He had heard such arguments numerous times, but he still enjoyed them immensely.
"I was fighting Orcs," Kili started again, his tone pointed, "And that was when lady Wren showed up. She jumped off the Skinchanger's back, and jumped at Uncle to shield him from Azog's fatal blow, the pale Orc swung his mace, and since both her and Uncle were on the ground, the mace flew above them and smashed and crushed ten Orcs."
"And I'm telling you again," Filfi once again interrupted with an exasperated expression on his face, "That she wasn't trying to shield him, it was her plan from the start, to topple them both on the ground so that his blow fell on the enemy!"
'Don't be dim, even she couldn't have calculated it so precisely! She was going to take the blow onto herself!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!" The two Dwarves started yelling at the same time, sounding like two pups barking at each other, and Dain hid a smile in his goblet. He remembered how many years ago him, his amad and his adad were having a picnic in the woods outside Erebor walls.
The day was warm and sunny, Dain had just discovered a small stream in the bushes and was exploring its bottom.
"Dain, be careful," his father's voice came from the blanket where he and amad were reposing.
"Don't fuss, sweetpea, he will be fine."
Adad's head was on her knees, her small hands playing with his locks, braiding flowers into the dark waves. Adad grumbled something under his breath, but even Dain knew arguing with his amad was foolish. Dain threw his amad a smile and plodded deeper into the stream. There were small silver fish playing in it.
"I want to visit Beorn next moon, sweetpea. Dain would enjoy seeing the animals and I have heard the rumours that we might soon see a mistress in Beorn's house. I'm curious." Adad mumbled something, which caused amad laugh in a silver voice. Dain threw a glance at his parents, his adad was pulling amad down to his lips, his hand at the back of her head.
Dain's parents tended to kiss a lot, and he cringed in disgust. All this slobbering was annoying! Grown-ups thought he understood little, but he by then already knew that amad was no Khazad and that his parents were not wed unlike the parents of his friends, but everyone was treating his amad with utter respect. And caution, by which Dain wasn't surprised. Amad had temper. There were objects hurled into adad's head if she wasn't pleased.
Dain felt there was some sort of balance in this world. Yes, his parents behaved more like those courting couples than parents of his peers, they would argue loudly and then adad would grovel, there were always opulent gifts, new jewels, a lot of jewels, but on the other hand, as little of it Dain would like to see, there was a lot more snogging than one would normally expect from parents of such a grown-up boy as him.
Dain heard giggling from the blanket and rolled his eyes. He peeked, and sure enough he saw his father looming over amad, spread on the blanket, his lips pressed to hers. Dain moved up the stream and was studying a strange plant on its bank, when he heard his mother's purring voice.
"Don't even try, Oakenshield, we are going. He invited, and I'm not refusing him. We owe Beorn a debt, if not for him we both would be dead."
"He threw you at me in a battle, kurdu," Dain's father rumbled in a feigned indignation, "That hardly counts as assistance." Dain stopped poking a slimey boulder at the bottom of the stream and listened attentively. They were talking of the Battle of Five Armies.
"But it was a good shot. Yes, he used me like a ball in conkers, but the result was very much fortunate!" Amad was laughing loudly, and Dain saw his father fighting a smile. He lost and snorted.
"To say nothing of you pulling off the Defiler's trousers in your flight."
"What can I say," amad grabbed the King's ears and smiled to him widely, "that fishing rod of mine was a handy little tool."
"It worked wonders on my trousers," adad commented, not quite understandably for Dain who nonetheless knew by then that such tone was called 'suggestive', and amad wrapped her arms around his neck.
"So no grumbling, we are going. We will be back in no time." Instead of continuing their interesting discussion of battles and Orcs, the clueless grown-ups decided to switch to snogging, and Dain sighed and went back to his exploration.
At least he would get to visit Grumpy the Cow and Periwinkle the Pony soon. When they had come to the Skinchanger's house for the first time, and amad was introducing Dain to the animals she said, "These are of course not the Grumpy and the Periwinkle," which didn't make any sense to Dain, but amad giggled and looked very happy, which was enough for Dain. Nothing felt better than seeing his amad smile.
Fili and Kili were still arguing loudly when the door opened and Dain's parents finally arrived for dinner. Amad rushed in first, still laughing at something that was said or done outside the doors, she was pulling adad into the room by his hand, and he stumbled in, chuckling as well. They both had their hair in disarray, the King's doublet was buttoned wrong, quite obviously in a hurry, and they rushed to the table.
"Maiar help me, I'm starving," amad snatched a piece of bread from a plate and started chewing it even before sitting down. "Dain, you surely should have started without us, you look famished." Dain immediately grabbed a spoon and started putting heaps of stew on his plate. The King sat down as well, exchanging a few phrases with his nephews, but not before giving Dain a wink and a warm smile. The dinner started, and suddenly Dain's amad started laughing loudly. Dain raised his eyes from his plate and saw that she was looking at the sleeve of her attire.
Dain was very proud of his amad, she was the most wonderful of women he had seen in his life. She was so unique, so mesmerizing, so different from women of Khahad and of Dale. She wore exotic attires, always in black, long tunics and wide trousers peeking from under the hem, so voluminous that they looked like skirts. The fabrics were the most expensive, and she wore the most opulent lavish jewellery that his father would gift her beyond the measure of sanity. She was known to sleep in the monetary equivalent of half the city of Dale, and there were rumours she even took baths in her diamond and her favourite opals.
Such ardent passion for valuables sat well with the Khazad, and while she couldn't be officially be called the Queen, the people of Erebor adored their Uazrakuna Ereboraz, Mistress of Erebor. That could also possibly be attributed to the fact that when she would return to the mountain from her frequent trips she would seem to quite enrich the treasury of Erebor, the Khazad happily prepared to close their eyes on the dubious origin of the gems she would carry in her sack. She also disliked Elves and many unrealistic devilments were said to have been performed by her through years towards the Elf Lords of Arda. Also, she had saved the King's life and gave him a son. The Khazad worshipped her, and Dain agreed wholeheartedly. Wren, the beloved of Thorin Oakenshield, was a marvel.
She was still laughing and got up. The men rose as well, and she gestured them to return to their meal. She walked from the table, and on her way she leaned to the King's ear. Dain was sitting the closest, and although he wasn't listening he couldn't help but overhear her suggestive whisper, "My tunic is inside out, you brute. And I might be missing some items of clothing. I'll go change and then will stop by your study and check if they are still hanging on the chandelier."
Dain's adad smirked lopsidedly, feigning nonchalance and taking a sip from his goblet, and she left, leaving a faint fragrance of lilacs in the air. Dain had already forgotten about his parents' dalliances, quite accustomed to them by now, and his attention shifted on Kili who was wildly gesticulating sharing the latest news from the South.
Personal A/N: My darlings, I have finished my thesis! Yay! And it means more FF time!
I'm going to be cleaning up the mess on my page and finishing those fics that got stuck but were very close to completion. Currently this one and "Poles Apart" are getting my attention, and if there is one you particularly want to see finished, let me know.
I won't be writing my poor sad abandoned multi-chapter fics so far, because I'm all about my Harry Potter crossover, but as usual I could reconsider if you ask nicely :)