A/N: Arghhhhh. Well, it's still Tuesday somewhere in the world . . . right? Right? (If it's not, please don't tell me! I couldn't stand to lose my blissful delusions! D:)
Heh . . . sorry. Guess the lateness of the last post carried over into this one. Never again, never again, I tell you, will I attempt to post something of this length without fully pre-writing it. Never.
Blegh. Okay, rant's over. On to the chapter!
It was useless trying to hook Shadow up to any kind of medical monitoring device, because anything fastened to him either malfunctioned or blew up. At last they just stuck him onto a sofa towards the side of the infirmary and let him sleep off whatever healing process his body was enacting.
Rouge went to visit him the next day. G.U.N.'s chief medical officer, Dr. Roberts, informed her that Shadow had been sleeping peacefully all throughout, and that his recovery was well-nigh unbelievable.
"Putting it lightly, Agent," he said, rubbing his thumb against his ring finger in his habitual tic, "we had almost no hope. And yet, he has almost completely regrown all the organs he had damaged or lost, with no visible deformity or stunting! A real marvel of science, truly."
"No doubt," said Rouge coolly. Team Dark lost no love for Dr. Roberts. He was an excellent doctor, skillful and always on the cutting-edge of medicine, but he had been salivating over the thought of dissecting "the Ultimate Life Form" ever since Shadow had joined G.U.N.
Nobody else was in the infirmary that day. After Dr. Roberts left, Rouge propped her elbows up on the back of the sofa and looked down at Shadow's sleeping form. She had a lot to think about.
He kept it all in the dark, obviously, but she was good at picking up and putting together the little hints. He might claim he'd gone through Fiolet's torture just because he didn't find the deal good enough, but Rouge didn't set much faith in that. She knew he'd taken it at least partly for Maria's sake, at least a little for all the others' sakes. He could be coldly, almost sociopathically calculating one moment, and the planet's most lionhearted self-sacrificer the next.
He'd been through a lot the past few days, and she almost didn't have the heart to resent earlier transgressions. And yet, you had to be realistic about these things. She was too smart to let herself be captured in something toxic.
Honestly, it was tempting to love him. It was tempting to believe he could love back. It took all of Rouge's self-control, sometimes, not to look and search and hope for little signs that he cared; the times he'd saved her life, the way he relaxed a little around her and Omega, the running jokes and sly teasing when he was in a good mood. She remembered another time before, when she'd dragged him home half-dead and left him on a sofa to heal, not that different from now. He had called her "ally" . . .
At the time she'd found it rather sweet. Coming from him, closed-off and confused as he was back then, it had seemed like a very affectionate thing to call her—an admission that he accepted and appreciated her aid.
But looking at it now, she considered the more technical definition. As in, you are my ally, because we want the same thing. We have the same goal, so your participation helps me reach that goal.
You are useful to me.
It was calculated, and she only appreciated calculation when she was the one doing it.
Shadow stirred faintly, sighing in his sleep. Dang it . . . despite it all, he looked so innocent. Rouge leaned over the back of the sofa, watching his eyelids shiver and finally slip open. He blinked up at her languidly, his eyes soft with the mist of sleep; then they cleared all at once and he started slightly, looking unsettled. Rouge chuckled.
"Disturbed?"
"Yes, actually." Shadow reached up slowly to rub one eye. "How long . . . "
"Only a day and night. You've gotten much better since then; Dr. Roberts can't believe your healing rate."
"Him?" Shadow looked as if he wanted to swear but was too groggy to recall any appropriate words. "If he's taken out my kidneys, I swear I'll take his—"
"He hasn't," said Rouge drily. "Nothing to take. At first they wanted to put you on a liquid diet in case your insides were damaged. Then they found you pretty much didn't have insides anymore."
"That bad?" Shadow's eyebrows rose.
"Uh-huh. And twenty-four hours later you're almost back to new. How's it feel being invincible?"
"Ehh. So-so." Shadow sat up gingerly, and was chagrined at how much effort it took. "I guess a little more that night would have finished me, huh?"
"Yeah. You were lucky." Rouge shook her head. "Geez, you've really been taking a beating lately. Sonic scratching you up, Knuckles' death traps, torture and Chaos burnout in one night . . . You don't do things by halves, do you?"
"I'm a convenient target," said Shadow drily. "What would kill others barely scratches me, so the powers-that-be can use me to have a nice dramatic scene without permanent damage."
"Don't talk like that, it's creepy," said Rouge, shuddering.
Shadow shrugged. For a while they were quiet, Rouge propping her head up in her hand contemplatively.
"Look, Shads."
He glanced back at her, eyebrow quirked. She studied the far corner of the room.
"Listen Shads, just for the record. I'm sorry, okay?"
"You're sorry?"
"Mm." Rouge waved a hand abstractly. "About that whole incomplete-dose thing. I shouldn't have expected anything else from you. It wasn't right to get angry about it."
Shadow eyed her dubiously.
"You know, time goes by, and I guess I got the wrong idea," she continued quietly. "I forgot that ours is a strictly . . . practical relationship. We're useful to each other. Nothing else."
It was a statement, but there was also unmistakably an invitation: a chance to deny it, to offer his own apology, to at least hint that there was something more. Something like caring.
Shadow looked her in the eye.
"I'm glad we understand each other."
Rouge smirked briefly and nodded. A metallic clanking sounded outside the door, conveniently breaking the moment. Omega sidled in, looking uneasy.
"How does your health stand, Shadow?"
"Decent." Shadow nodded his thanks. "Don't suppose you brought any cookies?"
"Negative; I do, however, bring a message," said Omega. "Rouge, there is a visitor outside the grounds of Headquarters, fervently demanding entrace to see Shadow. Since Shadow is not allowed to leave the infirmary, your presence is required for security clearance."
"Another visitor? I'm popular all of a sudden," quipped Shadow.
"Lucky dog. Not all of us can blow themselves to kingdom come and then bask in the admiration of their peers," joked Rouge, leaning in to kiss Shadow's temple as she passed. He looked after her quizzically.
"I can still do that," she retorted, turning in the doorway. "It's flirting. I do that for every guy!"
Shadow rubbed his forehead wearily as she disappeared. Omega looked bewildered.
"What was the meaning of that exchange?"
"It's complicated," grumbled Shadow, feeling distinctly peeved. He hated complicated. Remembering something else he'd just heard, he looked up. "What do you mean, I can't leave the infirmary?"
"You are not permitted to end bed rest until you are cleared by a medical practitioner," said Omega. "You will remain here until you are declared sound."
"And what exactly is going to stop me from doing otherwise?" asked Shadow darkly. Omega shrugged, his joints creaking.
"If necessary, I am."
"Is that so?" Shadow scowled and made to stand up, just to prove his point. Omega, unruffled, laid one long metal finger against Shadow's forehead, gently tilting his head back. To his surprise, Shadow found that he couldn't summon any force from that angle.
"Flailing is a useless expenditure of energy," observed Omega gravely. Shadow glared between the glinting fingers, his eyes crossed slightly for a clear line of sight.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"I am enforcing official G.U.N. orders. Carrying out a direct order does engender a certain satisfaction in most robots."
"That's not what I meant, you binary-based sadist. Just you wait, you can't hold me down forever."
"Should the need arise, I am certain Rouge shall assist me in tying you to the bed."
"You are unbelievable," growled Shadow, but smirked faintly and pushed Omega's hand away with barely an effort. He knew it was the robot's roundabout way of saying that he didn't want Shadow risking re-injury by getting up too soon. "So, when that maniac Roberts comes in here trying to hijack my liver, I suppose you'll helpfully hold me down then, too?"
There was a whir as Omega's onboard dictionary activated.
"Hijack, verb, transitive. To take forcible control of a vehicle, especially with the intent to steal its cargo or take its passengers hostage." Omega shook his metallic head gravely. "Regardless of what Doctor Roberts wants with your liver, I do not believe he would attempt to drive away in it."
Shadow endeavored not to laugh, and failed. Just then the door to the infirmary suddenly flew open, and Maria came barrelling through with a cry of "Shadow!"
"Oof! Wait, calm down . . . " Shadow winced slightly as Maria threw her arms around him a little more desperately than was comfortable for his battered ribs, but he still stroked her hair soothingly. "I'm all right, Maria. Shhhh, don't worry."
"He wouldn't let me go," Maria half-sobbed, incoherent with relief. "I heard you were hurt, and I couldn't come see you, he wouldn't let me . . . "
"It's all right, don't worry," insisted Shadow, trying to hold Maria back a little so he could see her face. "Are you all right? And who wouldn't let you go?"
"I'm fine. And Uncle Julian," gulped Maria. "He said it wasn't safe for me to go out, and I had to wait all yesterday, and all last night, and he only just let me come visit you now . . . Shadow, what happened? Why were you hurt, how did you end up in Uncle Julian's base?"
Shadow was still patting Maria's shoulder soothingly—it seemed so natural with her, he'd never have been able to pull himself together for anyone else—but suddenly his world seemed to explode around him. He froze, rigid, his heart pounding, as he remembered that one line of the ancient writings that nobody had been able to quite figure out, that one line of grammatically-ambiguous prophecy:
Fiolet will kill a blameless maiden . . .
And the most notable thing about Maria right now was that she existed.
He looked over her shoulder at Rouge, and saw from his partner's shattered expression that she had just realized the same thing. His throat constricted, thinking of the long, solitary trip Maria must have made to get from Eggman's base to G.U.N. HQ.
"Shadow?" asked Maria shakily, backing up a little to look at him, wondering why he didn't answer.
"It's a long story," said Shadow slowly, his own voice seeming to come from far away. Suddenly he gripped Maria's shoulders, held her at arm's length, and looked her in the eyes. "Maria, listen. Please. The Doctor had the right idea, it's not safe out there. Promise me—promise me that you won't go outside alone again, ever, for any reason."
"Wh—why?" whispered Maria, eyes wide.
"Just promise," said Shadow, his eyes desperate. Maria stared for a moment, but at last nodded slowly.
"I promise."
"Thank you." Shadow let go of her shoulders and sank back, rubbing his eyelids wearily. "All right. I guess it's time for you to know what's going on."
Explaining took a long time. Maria listened in terrified awe, almost disbelief—but she knew better than to disbelieve something that all of Team Dark spoke so seriously about.
She took the news calmly enough, for someone her age. Being reasonably bright, she wanted to help out, and asked to see the original document and the translation. If she noticed the line about the blameless maiden, she didn't let on.
"Do you think I could talk to Tails and the others who translated it?" she asked, poring over the paper copy Rouge had given her. "And don't you have an archive of history books and ancient documents here at G.U.N.? Maybe they'd have some clues about Fiolet! Do you think they'd let me read them?"
"You'd have to ask an official G.U.N. agent to check the books out for you, but sure, you'd have access to the whole library," said Shadow. "It would be a pretty lengthy task, though; G.U.N. has hundreds or even a couple thousand historic texts."
"Then I guess I'd better get started!" said Maria, jumping to her feet. "Can we go now?"
"You'll have to go with Rouge or Omega," said Shadow ruefully. "I'm still healing up, and I literally cannot get out of bed."
Maria immediately sobered.
"That bad?" she whispered, looking guilty.
"Not at all, I'm fine. But when I say literally, I do mean literally," said Shadow, giving Omega a dirty look.
Never had the world seen an expressionless robot with a more innocent expression.
Maria stayed in the infirmary with Shadow all morning, sitting beside him and alternately conversing softly and studiously browsing the stack of textbooks she had obtained. Some of Shadow's fellow-agents dropped by now and then to see how he was doing, some even smuggled him cookies, and all in all it was an extremely pleasant morning.
A little past noon, however, Maria started to yawn every few minutes and nod over her reading.
"Sleepy?" murmured Shadow.
"A little," said Maria with a sheepish smile.
"You weren't sitting up late last night, were you?" asked Shadow guiltily.
"Not really . . . I just couldn't sleep, I was worried. And then I tried to sneak off the base, but Uncle Julian caught me . . . "
"Good g—" Shadow caught himself. "Don't tell me you planned to go wandering around alone at night!"
"Well, I wouldn't do it now," said Maria staunchly. "Not now that I know."
Shadow nodded wearily and watched as Maria grew progressively drowsier, finally curling up against his side and falling asleep entirely. He gently pried a book from her loosened grip and set it on the floor, then slouched back and wrapped an arm around her, sinking into his thoughts.
A few minutes later Rouge came in, quieting when she saw Maria was asleep.
"She was up last night, trying to sneak out of Eggman's base," said Shadow, in the low but piercing murmur usually reserved for stealth missions.
Rouge grimaced in understanding, then sighed and stepped over to sit down on the other side of Shadow. She crossed one leg over the other casually and folded her arms.
"I'm going to speak to the Doctor about letting her stay here," said Shadow quietly, not looking up. "I think it would be safer for her in G.U.N., especially in that underground tech room of ours. Just until we figure out what to do about Fiolet."
"Yeah. Eggman's pretty easy to convince, where Maria's safety is concerned," murmured Rouge.
"Which is partly why I'm also thinking about asking him to help us. He's nervous about Fiolet biting him, and he's worried for Maria's sake too—I think I could secure his aid in fighting Fiolet quite easily."
"Very strategic," agreed Rouge. Shadow gave her a sharp, curious glance, but asked no questions. A heavy silence fell again, punctuated with the soft breaths of the sleeping hedgehog at Shadow's side. Rouge at last shifted slightly and took up a new thread.
"By the way, I came down here to let you know: before you get cleared for active duty again, they're going to check you up with the HQ psychologist. They want to make sure you weren't traumatized by Fio's torture or anything."
Shadow snorted scornfully.
"Just let them try."
"You're gonna have to cooperate if you ever want to get out of bed," said Rouge drily. Shadow growled.
"Also," said Rouge, after a pause, "they want to know if Fiolet was trying to extract anything from you."
Shadow started, turning to give Rouge a dangerous look.
"I know you didn't tell him anything," said Rouge wearily. "But G.U.N. wants to take no chances. Just in case you did somehow let something slip, or just in case Fio has mind-reading powers or whatever—G.U.N. wants to know what kind of information they might have lost."
Shadow continued to glare.
"Of course, there's no undue rush," said Rouge calmly. "You can tell the commander directly, if you feel the most comfortable with that. You can tell any other agent, and he or she will relay the information to the commander. Tell Omega, you can be sure he won't misquote you. Tell me—if you like."
Shadow threw back his head and blew a long, angry breath through his nose. At last, still glaring at a ceiling tile, he said curtly:
"No information at all. Just my Chaos Powers."
"You're sure there was nothing?"
"Absolutely nothing, and I told him nothing. He might know about the Master Emerald, but only if he really can read minds."
"So he just wanted to be able to tap into Chaos," murmured Rouge. "I'm guessing that wouldn't have ended well."
"Yeah. Wouldn't have gone for it if I'd known he'd ask for something that crazy."
"But you did go for it," said Rouge slowly. "So—just so G.U.N. doesn't get too suspicious—why were you with him in the first place? You must have gone into that cave willingly, or your shoes wouldn't be left outside. You weren't negotiating, were you?"
"I was." He shrugged coldly. "You remember, I'm the calculator. I calculated that he made a very good offer, and it might be worth some degree of . . . flexibility."
Rouge grimaced again. G.U.N. would not have been happy to know that.
"So what did he offer you?" she ventured, not expecting an answer. Shadow twisted his mouth in thought, then tore his gaze from the ceiling and studied her sharply for a moment, considering.
"Death," he said at last.
"He threatened you?"
"No. Offered it."
Rouge said nothing, but looked more than a little unsettled. Shadow laughed wearily, waving a hand in dismissal.
"Not like that. He offered it eventually."
"You mean, like a normal lifespan?"
"Mm."
Rouge sat silent, considering.
"People throughout history have dreamed of immortality," she said eventually, glancing at Shadow sidewise.
"Call me prodigal, then. I'd be perfectly ready to throw it away."
"Not all it's cracked up to be?"
Shadow shrugged, gently shifting Maria to lean against the sofa arm.
"No. But you do learn to live with it."
He wasn't about to admit that the "learning" didn't work. Not even to his teammate was he about to admit that he got lonely; that he tried to imagine a world without his friends and couldn't; that he couldn't help but care, no matter how much he struggled not to. That he'd grown cold enough to hurt others, but not cold enough to disregard the consequences.
Not things that any earthly force could get him to admit, but Rouge managed to read most of them anyway.
"So then, how's the learning? Have you achieved complete enlightenment yet?" she asked, her tone practicedly light.
"Not exactly," muttered Shadow. "I've about reached the point where you start screwing things up, but not the point where you don't care."
"Is that so?" Rouge raised an eyebrow expectantly. "Where exactly are you leading to with this? . . . "
Shadow drew in his breath and started to say something—twice—but finally looked away and bit his tongue, mentally berating himself. Don't even think about it! Sure, it wasn't much fun to have someone stay angry at you, but that was the whole point, wasn't it? Mend fences now, and he'd just be setting himself up for worse grief down the line. He should be thinking long-term, as in really long-term, as in forever, not as in right-here-and-now-you-feel-guilty-and-miss-your-friend. Why did he have to care about making it better anyway?
"Tsk." Rouge shook her head, losing patience. "I'm getting the general idea here, but I don't buy it till I actually hear it."
"You drive a hard bargain," grumbled Shadow miserably.
"Yep. A girl's got to look out for herself, you know. You'd better care enough to make it clearer than a significant look or two."
"Well what do you want, a signed document?"
"As if." Rouge laughed resignedly. "Nevermind, I'll do without. Even I know there's some things a girl can't get. Not from you, anyway."
Shadow gritted his teeth slightly and watched one shoe swinging back and forth. Why did she have to make it so hard?
"Don't you flop your ears at me, Shadow the Hedgehog. I'm entirely immune to—" Rouge blinked "—a-actually, it's more effective than I—than I . . . " She slapped her forehead. "Ohhh, all right! Fine, you're forgiven!"
Shadow wasn't quite sure if it was Rouge's fault or his own, but at this point it was already a done deal that they were hugging anyway and he didn't see any point in assigning responsibility. He finally managed to choke out some syntax resembling "I'm sorry," and maybe a couple of other things that seemed reasonable at the time but would make him very hot in the ears upon recollection a few days later. He could feel Rouge grinning, straight through her chin and the side of her head.
Blast the whole immortality concept and all of its cousins, he thought fiercely. Exactly one thousand years from now, he was going to look back on this day and not regret one. Damn. Minute.