Also Titled: Bacon and Eggheads


A lone figure on a dark horse rode up to the black castle of Nockmaar. He barely had to guide his steed, so used was it to this path. In the crook of one arm lay a small, crying babe. The sentries saw him coming and quickly lowered the drawbridge.

"I have the child!" he yelled as he entered the courtyard. The drawbridge was raised again almost as soon as the horse was inside, for not far behind him two other horses were approaching.

Alfred and Natalia had ridden for a day and a night, pushing their mounts as far as was safe, in an effort to stop the General from reaching Nockmaar. The pulled their mounts to a stop about a hundred yards from the castle when they saw the drawbridge close. They were too late. Natalia eyed her home nervously, noting that there were more soldiers than usual on the walls. Alfred let out a yell of frustration, angry at being foiled. Half a day behind them Matthias and Arthur were traveling with their army and anyone who'd wanted to join the fight against the witch king.


The General knelt and held out Lilli for Ivan's inspection. The king leaned over and peered at the babe, still baffled as to how this tiny thing could be his downfall. Lilli looked back at him, to tired or perhaps to scared to cry anymore. A satisfied smile curled around Ivan's lips. "Where's Natalia?" he asked absentmindedly.

The General looked uncomfortable, hating to be the bearer of bad news. "She has turned against us, Your Highness."

Behind him, Ivan's mages exchanged glances but did nothing else.

A look of utter shock and disbelief crossed Ivan's face. The bitter feeling of betrayal soon turned to anger and he hissed between clenched teeth, "Turned… against me?"

Lilli began crying again.

Maddened, Ivan spun around, his dark cloak whipping out behind him. "Prepare for the ritual!" he bellowed. His mages bowed and hurried to grab the baby and head for the tower. The process of utterly destroying the child was complicated. It would take the rest of the day to prepare and even after that it would take a full night to perform the ritual properly.


The sentries on the walls watched with disinterest when the army showed up hours later. They served a man stronger than all of them.

Matthias and Alfred whispered together as they looked at the castle, beckoning Natalia over after a while. The two men had pushed aside their rocky past for now.

Alfred looked over the fortress and cursed. This castle was even bigger than Tir Asleen, and better fortified. One tower in the middle rose up above the rest, almost twice as high. Finally, Matthias ordered, "We need towers and a battering ram! Break out the tents! Make camp!" In a quieter voice he told Alfred, "We'll assault at first light."


Hours of pacing in his room had done little to help Ivan's temper. Unable to stand it any longer, he traveled to the battlements just as the sun disappeared to look down at the army that planned to "seige" him. His mages followed him, to help assist him in any way if needed. Ivan sneered at the sight below him. A couple hundred tents were spread out in the plains before the castle, and scattered campfires winked up at him. It was pitiful really. There weren't enough men to make proper regiments, let alone an army!

He began laughing loudly and used his magic to amplify his voice. Matthias' men left their tents and looked around quickly at the sound of the king's laughter. Lukas, who had been dosing by a campfire, came awake at once. He'd heard that laugh before and he could guess what it meant. He needed to find Arthur.

"This is not an army!" Ivan chortled.

Arthur huffed as Lukas butted him gently (for a goat). "Quick, hide!" He butted him again towards a tent.

"Alright, keep your horns on."

"Do you remember the shelter chant spell taught you?" Lukas asked once they were inside the closest tent.

"Y-yes, why-"

"Protect this tent! Now!"

Alfred, meanwhile, grabbed a torch and went to confront Ivan. Natalia took a deep breath and followed him.

"We've come for Lilli Zwingli!" Alfred shouted.

"You dare to challenge me?" Ivan replied, leaning his elbows against the wall top. "You're not warriors!" A cruel smile flitted across Ivan's face as a wicked idea came to him. "You're pigs!"

Alfred suddenly let out a sharp groan as a gut twisting pain ripped through his torso. He fell to one knee, clutching at his stomach.

"Toa thonna mondarr! Nocklith! Vohkbar!"

A squealing yell came from Alfred's throat as his teeth became brutishly big. His hands felt as if they were on fire, changing from digits to hooves. Matthias watched in horror as his friend continued to transform, the men behind him panicking. Natalia looked up and glared at her brother, ashamed he would use such a dirty trick.

"You're all pigs! Pigs!" Ivan yelled, reaching out and grabbing the air as if he was grabbing their humanity. As one everyone else but Natalia doubled over in pain, even the brownies.

In the tent, Arthur waved Elizaveta's wand above his head and chanted, "Avaggdu luatha bairn off haefermore," over and over. He was so focused that he didn't hear the cries of pain or the squeals coming from outside. Lukas hung his head, angry at not being able to do more.

Alfred's transformation was nearly complete. In agony he yelled out, "Natalia!" before he lost his speech altogether.

The cry snapped Natalia out of her trance. "Brother, no! Stop this!"

Ivan looked down at her for a few seconds before reaching out again and yelling, "Kothon!"

Natalia groaned as the pain finally hit her too. As she fell to the ground all she could see were pigs or men in the process of being turned into pigs. The pain took over and she didn't have another coherent thought.


Up in the tower two mages bound Lilli with leather straps to keep her from moving during the ritual. In the center of the room a stone table rested, sloping inwards slightly to form a shallow basin. The men flinched as the doors opened and Ivan rushed in.

"Begin the ritual. This baby will not destroy me."

The mages nodded and one left to light the first candle.

Thunder rumbled above them and Ivan looked up with pleasure at the circular hole in the roof. Reaching out a hand he yelled, "Come, thunder!" Thunder boomed again, scaring Lilli and making her cry again. "Come, lightning! Touch this altar with your powers." A bolt of lightning hit the table, miraculously not shattering it into pieces.

One mage picked up Lilli and set her on the altar once it stopped crackling and the third banged the ritualistic gong.


Arthur stood in front of the tent, completely and utterly shellshocked; the only sentient being in a sea of pigs. "How did…" he whispered. Looking down at his feet he saw two tiny piglets whom he could only assume were Roderich and Gilbert.

He ran back into the tent and yelled, pulling at his hair. "We've come all this way and now Lilli's going to die!"

The goat butted him gently ( this time by Nelwyn standards). "We can still defeat Ivan."

"He's too powerful, Lukas!" Even if he studied for half a year Arthur was sure he wouldn't have the strength to turn everyone back into their true form, let alone beat Ivan.

"Transform me and I will destroy him," Lukas promised.

Arthur looked down at the wand in his hand, unsure. He'd failed twice already, and the new spell Lukas had taught him was the most complicated of all. The thought of Lilli dead flashed through his mind and hardened his resolve. He would not let her die!

The Nelwyn stood and Lukas backed up a bit to give him room.

"Elements of eternity, above and below. Balance of essence, fire beget snow."

He closed his eyes once the wand began to glow, feeling the now familiar rush of pain.

"Locktwarr danalora luatha danu. Tuatha, tuatha, chnox danu." He repeated the chant again, trying to stay focused but struggling. The pain!

Lukas yelped as he was changed from a goat to an ostrich. Arthur opened his eyes and panicked, stumbling over the words. All of a sudden peacock feathers grew! Arthur closed his eyes again and repeated the chant.

"Arthur!" Lukas yelled, his voice growing tiny as he shrank into a turtle.

Blisters were forming on Arthur's hands and sweat covered every inch of him. Only the thought of rescuing his tiny charge kept him going.

"Locktwarr danalora luatha danu. Tuatha… tuatha… chnox danu."

Lukas suddenly grew again, only to turn into a gust of wind and then a tiger.

"Locktwarr danalora, luatha danu. Tuath-, tuatha, chnox… danu!"

Unable to bear it, Arthur released the wand and felt on his hands and knees. Shaking all over he looked up to see what he'd created.

The Daikini laying on the ground was a young man, slender in body with pale blonde hair that had a single curl. The man uncurled himself and slowly sat up. He inspected his hands with dull blue eyes, noticing how much bigger they were than when he'd last seen them.

"Lukas…" Arthur whispered, unable to believe he'd actually done it.

The man looked up and him and actually smiled. Arthur hurried to grab a blanket to cover his naked form while Lukas kept looking over his body. "Has it been so long?" he murmured, trying not to mourn for the childhood that was stolen from him. Ivan had only been a prince, he remembered, when he'd transformed Lukas in a fit of jealousy.

"I'm sorry," Arthur said.

Lukas shook his head and stood, wrapping the blanket around his waist. "We have work to do. Give me the wand." Arthur did so. He waved towards the tent flap. "Bring them in."

Arthur herded the closest pig into the tent and stood back while Lukas chanted.

"Tuatha grin chnox y foel famau."


It's a squirrel! It's a goat! No, it's Norway! XD Yay, Lukas is in his true form!

Also, I decided to post this chapter early since I'm going to be in Utah all this week. Happy early Thanksgiving, guys!