"If you value your freedom, you'll do as I say. There are guards ahead."

Beth wasted no time and snatched the coin purse to hand to Bard. She was quite done with the dwarves bickering and reluctance to hand over their money. "What now?" she asked.

"Into the barrels," he instructed.

Beth spun around, watching the dwarves climb into the barrels (again) and noticed a slight problem, feeling a slight panic bubbling up in her chest. "There aren't enough," she said.

"What?"

"There are fifteen of us and only fourteen barrels WHA—" the apparent solution was Thorin scooping her up from behind her, already in his barrel and hoisting her in to join him. He sat on the bottom and lowered her onto his lap sideways.

"Problem solved," was all she heard Bard say.

Beth glowered but started blushing when Thorin asked, "So you're my wife now, are you?"

"I was your betrothed yesterday, wasn't I?" she shot back.

"That was the story, yes."

"So I just decided to give myself an upgrade is all." She shifted so she was able to look at him. His eyes found hers in a familiar intense gaze. In a daring act, she decided to lean up and claim his lips with hers. Apparently Thorin had the same idea as his arms wound around her waist, bringing her closer. Beth wrapped her arms around his neck, reveling in how strong and powerful he felt against her. Plus, he was a really good kisser.

They were rudely interrupted by pounds of fish landing on top of them.

Beth held her breath most of the time Bard was arguing with some guy who sounded like a rat and probably looked like one too. That, and she was really very offended by the smell of fish. And then, as though being stuffed in a barrel of rotting fish wasn't enough, they had to come in through the toilet.

Bard's daughters came in to give them all blankets, but were short. So without much care or thought Beth made her way over to Thorin and seated herself onto his lap, wrapping a blanket around the both of them. She could see most of the dwarves grinning at them and was glad no one commented out loud.

"So Bilbo," she started. "What was worse, being covered in troll snot or coming out of a toilet?"

"Oh, that's tough. Although I'd probably go with the troll snot, thank you for asking."

The siblings chuckled to themselves, enjoying the moment of not being in direct danger. Then Beth could feel all of Thorin's muscles contracting under her at once.

"A dwarvish wind-lance," he whispered.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," commented Bilbo.

"He has," said Balin. "The last time we saw such a weapon the city was on fire. It was the day the dragon came. Only a black arrow, fired from a wind-lance could have pierced the dragon's hide."

"Had the aim of men been true that day, much would have been different," said Thorin. He then turned to Bard. "You took our money. Where are the weapons?"

"Wait here."

Bard came back with…sort of hand-made rag-tag weapons. He claimed that all other iron-forged pieces were under lock and key in the armoury. Balin and Beth exchanged a look at the plotting glance that passed between Thorin and Dwalin.

"Why not just take what's offered and go?" tried Balin. "I've made due with less; so have you. Why not just take this and leave right now?"

"You're not going anywhere," interrupted Bard.

"Excuse me?" asked Beth, indignantly.

"There's spies watching this house and probably every dock and wharf in town. You must wait 'till night fall."

Beth shrugged. "Well then, that settles it. I'm going to take a nap to prepare myself for whatever mischief you boys have planned for later. Don't you look at me like that Thorin, I know when you're about to do something stupid."

Just as Beth was guided out of the room to a bed, Dwalin looked at his friend with a smirk. "It looks like she already plays the part of wife quite nicely," he said with a laugh.

When Beth woke up it was already dark, and eerily quiet. Too quiet. She rushed down the stairs to find the three children in an otherwise empty house.

"What have they done?" she asked.

Just about as the young boy was going to answer, a loud ruckus started coming in from outside. Running over to the window, she spotted a crowd gathering around the largest building in the town.

"Damn them," she muttered, sprinting for the front door. "Tell your father I said thank you if I don't see him again!" she yelled behind her, sprinting across the wooden platforms, ducking between and underneath people as she went along. The children didn't even try to stop the hobbit woman.

She shoved her way through the crowd in time to hear Dwalin declare, "Hold your tongue. You do not know to whom you speak. This is no common criminal; this is Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thoror!"

What happened to being incognito?

"We are the dwarves of Erebor!" announced Thorin. "We have come to reclaim our homeland. I remember this town in the great days of old. Fleets of boats lay at harbour, filled with silks and fine gems. This was no forsaken town on a lake! This was the centre of all trade in the north. I would see those days return. I would relight the great forges of the dwarves and send wealth and riches flowing once more from the halls of Erebor!"

Beth had to give it to him; Thorin could pull a great speech out of his ass in a time of need.

Bard pushed through the crowd. "Death! That is what you will bring upon us. Dragon-fire and ruin! If you awake that beast, it will destroy us all."

Oh, thought Beth, that's probably a bigger set-back than what we've previously faced. But before she could get into the logistics of how to not wake a dragon, Thorin rebutted.

"You can listen to this naysayer, but I promise you this: if we succeed all will share in the wealth of the mountain. You will have enough gold to build Esgaroth ten times over!"

"All of you, listen to me! You must listen!" cried Bard. "Have you forgotten what happened to Dale? Have you forgotten those lost in the firestorm? And for what purpose? The blind ambition of a mountain king so blinded by greed, he could not see beyond his own desire!"

"Now, now," the Master cut in. "We must not, any of us, be too quick to lay blame. Let us not forget that it was Girion, your ancestor, who failed to kill the beast."

Beth snorted. So much for not being quick to lay blame.

Bard stormed up to Thorin saying, "You have no right, no right to enter that mountain."

Beth, deciding she'd seen quite enough emerged from the crowd proclaiming, "I think he might have the only right."

Thorin, seemingly grateful for her support wrapped an arm around her before turning to the Master of Lake Town. "I speak to the Master of the men of the lake. Will you see the prophesy fulfilled? Will you share in the great wealth of our people? What say you?"

Of course he will, thought Beth. Look at his scum bag! All he cares about is money.

"I say unto you…welcome! Welcome and thrice welcome, King Under the Mountain!"

Cheers filled the air and the party had begun before it was even announced. The company was welcomed into the master's home and while she thought the guy was a scum bag, Beth was glad for the opportunity for a real meal, bed and bath.

Alfred, the rat from earlier (she was right to say he looked like one) lead the company upstairs to a set of bedrooms. "King Thorin, we have a bedroom set up for you here. I'm afraid the rest of your company will have to share the three remaining rooms." He leered at Beth, "I hope that's alright for the little lady."

Before Beth could speak for herself Thorin cut in (again), "She's to stay with me."

"I see," he leered.

No, you don't see, thought Beth. Although in a much more polite tone she asked, "Where would I be able to take a bath?"

"I will have one drawn for you in a moment in your room. Excuse me," he said, bowing out.

When he left the hall Beth announced, "Well, that was creepy. Why don't you lads go have a drink and enjoy yourselves? I'm going to be up here taking care of some of my girly needs, which, yes, in fact do exist, despite all this adventuring."

So while the men were downstairs drinking and partying, Beth was enjoying a hot bath, taking care to wash her hair and groom as needed. That being said, everything needed to be groomed. Everything. When Thorin decided to retire some hours later he found Beth in nothing but a robe, brushing the hair on her hobbit feet while humming a tune he did not recognise. In that very moment he decided he loved her.

Beth looked up to see Thorin making his way over to her, his expression unreadable. She adjusted herself to sit at the edge of the bed and unlike what she was expecting; he kneeled down in front of her.

"What is it?" she asked, placing her hands on his shoulders. Her brow furrowed and her lips pouted a bit in a frown.

Thorin took her hands off his shoulders to hold them in her lap, keeping his eyes focused on their hands, unable to look her in the eye quite yet in light of his revelation. "What is it, Thorin? What's the matter? Are you alright?" she asked this time with more urgency.

He lifted his head and his blue eyes pierced hers. "I want you to stay."

Beth smiled and furrowed her eyebrows even more. "Okay. I'm not going anywhere; I mean, we've slept together before so—"

He cut her off. "No. I mean, when this quest is over. When we've reclaimed Erebor, I want you to stay with me. Be my wife for real. Stay with me and be my queen."

And then magically she turned into a fish, opening and closing her mouth over and over again. Every time she thought she had something to say to him another factor would crop up in her brain. What about Bilbo? Why did Thorin have to be a King? Would the other dwarves accept her marrying him?

Thorin reached a hand out to cup her pale cheek. The colour seemed to have drained from her face as she comically debated. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Her eyes met his. Beth couldn't remember if she had ever seen him look so tender or vulnerable. She decided it brought a softness to his features that were otherwise sharp. But then she remembered the pressing matter at hand.

"Thorin I…I don't know. No! Wait, that's not a 'no' it's just…well there's a lot of things…" she trailed off uncertain. Did she even want to marry him? She did admit that Thorin was the sexiest man she had ever seen. And while he began as a royal hard ass, she enjoyed his company. She admired his leadership and strength.

Swallowing her doubts, she placed a hand over his that still cradled her face. "Okay. But we have to figure some things out first. I—"

Promptly she was cut off by Thorin leaning forwards to capture her lips with his own. There was no choice but to succeed in this quest now. He had to reclaim Erebor, and he had to wed his strange, precious hobbit from another world.

Beth wanted to protest but found herself melting into the kiss and caught her treacherous hands reaching forward to tangle in his hair. She kissed him harder upon realizing they could die tomorrow. And also upon that realization she pulled away and grasped at the collar of his shirt.

Looking him in the eye with an intensity he had never seen before she stated, "I don't know if we will live to see the end of this quest," when Thorin opened his mouth to reassure her she cut him off. "I don't want to die without at lest once having lain with my husband. The one I love."

Thorin was stunned and was sure he was at least somewhat flushed. Sure, it was not the first time he had been with a woman, but it was certainly the first time a woman had propositioned him. And it was certainly the first time he would be with a woman that he was in love with. He let her delicately pepper kisses over his face and jaw and felt her tug at the end of his shirt. In an instant he came back to awareness and stood, throwing the shirt over his head and taking a curious look down at her.

Beth had to remind herself to breathe a couple times. That was the hottest thing she had ever seen. He was the hottest thing she had ever seen. Dark chest hair covered his pecks and trailed down to a V that temptingly dipped underneath his pant line. The muscles in his arms and abdominal rippled as he took a look down at her. She stood to meet him and found exactly just how much bigger he was than her.

While not a stick figure herself, Beth was completely dwarfed (if you'll forgive the pun) by Thorin in every way. She only came to his shoulder in height and decided those arms (those beefy, sexy arms) could wrap around her twice. Taking a deep breath, Beth let go of the front of her robe and shrugged it off her shoulders, leaving herself completely bare in front of him and was glad to have had the bath first.

His eyes seemed to darken and without warning he almost lunged himself at her, gripping her waist with one hand and cupping the back of her head with his other. He laid her down on the bed, never breaking their heavy make out session, only vaguely aware of her fingers deftly untying his breeches. He pulled away only for as long as it took him to kick of his shoes and pants. As he did, Beth had to remind herself to breathe again when she saw him in his full glory. He was big all over, apparently.

He crawled over her, claiming her lips again and letting his hands wander up her sides, cupping her breasts, trailing over her skin. She couldn't help the breathy gasps and moans that escaped her as he made her very nerve set afire. Her own hands curiously glided along his muscled back, cheekily grabbing his solid bum. He pulled back to grin at her before his mouth attacked her neck, trailing down to her chest and taking a sensitive nipple into his mouth. Beth gasped and threw her head back at the sensation and wondered how he knew to handle her already. She was lost in the sensations until she felt him pause to adjust.

She almost fainted at the sight of him between her legs before she felt his hot tongue run along her womanhood. She was ready to cum when he pulled away and planted a now salty kiss to her mouth. He leaned back slightly to just look at her. Thorin admired his handiwork, watching her generous breasts heave in quickened breathing and her skin flushed all over. She licked her lips and placed a gentle hand on his hip to guide him closer.

His eyes never left hers as he entered her until Beth had to close hers out of pure ecstasy. Both had to admit it was a tight fit, and neither was complaining. Thorin started off slowly enough and Beth could already feel the beginnings of an orgasm. She didn't think she could speak if she wanted but it didn't matter with Thorin reading her cries and moans the way he did.

Just when he thought he was about spill over the edge, Beth cried out from underneath him and he could feel her tighten around him further in her orgasm. She curled in towards him with one hand around his neck for support and the other clawing into his back in pleasure. Thorin came with one final thrust and held onto her in his own orgasm.

They fell asleep in each other's arms.

Beth woke to Thorin slipping out of her grasp. In response she tightened her hold on him and gave her best effort to pull him back to her.

"Nooo," she moaned. "Two more minutes."

Thorin gave a breathy chuckle before slipping back under the covers with his love. Who, at the moment was looking like a dream with her blonde hair fanned around her head like a halo and her cheeks still lightly flushed. Beth blinked opened her eyes and couldn't help but grin at the sight waiting her. Oh good, so she did actually spend the night with the hottest dwarf in all of history.

"I was hoping it wasn't a dream," she confessed sleepily.

Thorin placed a delicate kiss on her temple and smoothed back some of her hair. "It was not a dream, My Queen."

The breath caught in her throat. Queen. Right. If they survived this she would have to become a monarch if she wanted to be with Thorin. If they survived this. They were going to poke a dragon today. Joy. That was enough of a jolt of panic to wake her up fully.

Beth leaned up to place a chaste kiss on his lips. "I hope you weren't thinking about leaving without me Thorin. I know you weren't, because that would make me very upset with you and I know you wouldn't intentionally do that," she said sweetly as she got up in her full naked glory and walked across the room to her clothes, swaying her hips cheekily as she went.

He made no attempt to cover the sound of him crossing the room to get to her. His arms snaked around her waist as she reached for the first article of clothing and felt the fire in her belly rekindling as she felt his bare skin pressed against her back. And something else pressed against her back too.

Thorin brushed his fingers through her hair and took a small section to braid. Beth waited patiently but curious as to what he was doing. He finished by taking a small silver bead from his hair and placed it at the end of her braid. Then he began peppering kisses along her exposed shoulder. She didn't hesitate a second and spun around to capture his mouth with her own.

"I'm not done with you," she growled.