Hetalia: The Musical

by germanyisgay

It's a massive script, I know! Follow the Hetalia characters as they sing and go through hell throughout history. I've used songs from various musicals and artists. (Two Acts)(Not related to the new actual Hetalia musical. This was made a while ago.)

2. Act II

ACT II

Curtains open. Lights up. AUSTRIA twirls in, wearing a frilly dress.

The Sound of Music from The Sound of Music

AUSTRIA:

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE VITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC

VITH SONGS THEY HAVE SUNG FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

THE HILLS FILL MY HEART VITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC

MY HEART VANTS TO SING EVERY SONG IT HEARS

MY HEART VANTS TO BEAT LIKE THE VINGS OF BIRDS

THAT RISE FROM THE LAKE TO THE TREE

MY HEART VANTS TO SIGH LIKE A CHIME THAT FLIES

TO THE CHURCH ON A BREEZE

TO LAUGH LIKE A BROOK VHEN IT TRIPS AND FALLS OVER STONES ON IT'S VAY

TO SING THROUGH THE NIGHT

LIKE A LARK THAT IS LEARNING TO PRAY

I GO TO THE HILLS VHEN MY HEART IS LONELY

I KNOW I VILL HEAR VHAT I'VE HEARD BEFORE

MY HEART VILL BE BLESSED VITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC

AND I'LL SING VUNCE MORE!

HUNGARY enters.

HUNGARY: Austria!?

AUSTRIA: I thought you vere shopping vith Ukraine and Liechtenstein!

HUNGARY: I vas! I came home, because that's vhat people do vunce they have no reason to be out of the house anymore!

AUSTRIA: Don't look at me!

HUNGARY: Vhy on earth are you vearing a dress!?

AUSTRIA: Don't judge me! G-Get out!

HUNGARY: This is my house, too! It's also my bedroom! Go get changed, seriously!

AUSTRIA: Alright, alright!

Scene change. FRANCE, SPAIN and PRUSSIA sit together.

FRANCE: Non, clearly the best Pokemon is Riachu.

SPAIN: No, of course not! You don't know what you're talking about. I really personally prefer psychic Pokemon.

FRANCE: Don't tell you like Psyduck!

SPAIN: I love Psyduck!

FRANCE: Whatever, man.

Pause.

PRUSSIA: Guys, I'm sick of sitting around.

SPAIN: Want to accuse your brother of being gay again?

PRUSSIA: Nein, nein!

FRANCE: You sure, man?

PRUSSIA: I'm sure, France! Here, how about...we do something?

SPAIN: Like what?

PRUSSIA: Look at us. We're a mess. Spain, when was the last time you had a girlfriend?

SPAIN: I don't know...A year and a half ago? That's not too bad.

PRUSSIA: And France, when was the last time you actually went to a party?

FRANCE: Does that matter?

PRUSSIA: We're so much better than this, guys! Look at me. I'm battered and broken, yet for some reason, I sit around. I'm lucky to be alive! I should be doing something important with my life, not sitting around! I could be dead any minute. I could walk down the street and get hit by a car. I'm so lucky to be alive. So why are we sitting around? Why? Can anybody answer that one simple question? Anybody?

The Impossible Dream from Man of La Mancha

PRUSSIA:

TO DREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

TO FIGHT THE UNFIGHTABLE FOE

TO BEAR VITH UNBEARABLE SORROW

TO RUN VHERE THE BRAVE DARE NOT GO

SPAIN:

TO RIGHT THE UNRIGHTABLE WRONG

TO LOVE, PURE AND CHASTE FROM AFAR

TO TRY WHEN YOUR ARMS ARE TOO WEARY

PRUSSIA, SPAIN and FRANCE:

TO REACH THE UNREACHABLE STAR!

THIS IS MY QUEST

TO FOLLOW THAT STAR

NO MATTER HOW HOPELESS

NO MATTER HOW FAR

PRUSSIA:

TO FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT
VITHOUT QUESTION OR PAUSE

FRANCE:

TO BE WILLING TO MARCH INTO HELL

FOR A HEAVENLY CAUSE

PRUSSIA:

AND I KNOW IF I'LL ONLY BE TRUE

TO THIS GLORIOUS QUEST

THAT MY HEART VILL LIE PEACEFUL AND CALM

VHEN I'M LAID TO MY REST

AND THE VORLD VILL BE BETTER FOR THIS

THAT VUN MAN, SCORN AND COVERED VITH SCARS

FRANCE, SPAIN and PRUSSIA:

STILL STROVE WITH HIS LAST OUNCE OF COURAGE

TO REACH THE UNREACHABLE STAR!

FRANCE: Wait...why did we just sing a song?

SPAIN: Because this is a musical; there doesn't have to be a rhyme or reason to sing, we just sing.

FRANCE: Ohhh...Okay. Let's sing another!

Scene change. GERMANY sits center stage, singing quietly to himself.

My Mummy's Dead by John Lennon

GERMANY:

MY BROTHER'S DEAD

I CAN'T GET IT THROUGH MY HEAD

THOUGH IT'S BEEN SO MANY YEARS

MY BROTHER'S DEAD

I CAN'T EXPLAIN

SO MUCH PAIN

I COULD NEVER SHOW IT

MY BROTHER'S DEAD

FRANCE, BRITAIN, AMERICA, CANADA, RUSSIA, CHINA, AUSTRIA, and POLAND enter, watching GERMANY from afar.

FRANCE: He's so scary.

POLAND: (Coughs) He used to be so strong.

AMERICA: Luckily, we sucked his power from him! We won!

FRANCE: It's not all about winning, America.

CANADA: He's crying.

POLAND: He deserves, (Coughs) to cry! He did terrible (Coughs) things!

AUSTRIA: It's okay, Poland. Don't overexert yourself.

GERMANY sobs.

BRITAIN: What an idiot. Crying! He ought to be dead, not crying! There are others that should be the ones crying, not him! He did awful things!

JAPAN enters. His cheeks are dirtied and have older burn scars.

JAPAN: (Coughs) Germany?

GERMANY: You're still sick, aren't you? It's been ten years and you're still sick.

JAPAN: America...really packed a punch, didn't he?

AMERICA drops to his knees, hands in his face.

AMERICA: What have I done? What have I done, dear god! What have I done!? What have we done!?

BRITAIN: You did the right thing.

AMERICA: No, I didn't! Don't say that! I must help Japan!

BRITAIN: He'll only hate you more if you try to help. He's probably still scared of you.

JAPAN is shaking as he sits next to GERMANY.

JAPAN: Still thinking about Prussia? (Coughs)

GERMANY: He's dead. My brother is dead. I'll never see him ever again. He's gone.

AMERICA: (Through sobs) We took Prussia away from him!

BRITAIN: Don't sympathize with a Nazi!

JAPAN: I know he's gone… I stirr can't berieve it myself.

GERMANY: Italy left us a while ago.

JAPAN: I know. It's just us…

CANADA: I'm staying out of this.

CANADA exits.

FRANCE: America, don't cry.

AUSTRIA: He deserves everything that happens to him! I vas under Nazi rule, I saw the things he did to my people! Do you know how scared I vas? I'm a Jew, a gay Austrian Jew! You think I vasn't terrified?

AMERICA: What we've done is unacceptable.

BRITAIN: Shh, just keep watching.

GERMANY: Mussolini's dead. Hitler's dead.

JAPAN: I know. Aren't you glad?

GERMANY: Ja...Ja, I am. At the same time, that's the last thing I vanted. I used to pray for the day that that man would die but at the same time...I loved him. He vas like a father to me, a mentor of sorts. I'm glad that he's dead, but I know that the death of Hitler von't stop my people from being Nazis. I was in pain every day due to the loss of my people. I would cough up blood and faint at least once a day. The pain is subsiding as less of my people are being killed at such a fast rate, but...physical pain is different than mental pain, you know?

BRITAIN: I… America, brother...stop your crying and listen.

GERMANY: Vhat have I done? God, vhat have I done? Japan, I killed so many!

FRANCE: He feels...guilt? I didn't think such a man could feel such a thing.

AMERICA and GERMANY: Vhat have I done? Vhat have I done!?

Scene change. ITALY is making a daisy chain and humming. VATICAN, ROMANO and NARRATOR enter.

NARRATOR: Italy has some relatives. First, he has South Italy, his older brother, also known as Romano.

ROMANO: Italy! Will you stop-a humming?! It is way too early in the morning for-a this!

ITALY: It's noon-a.

NARRATOR: Italy also has another brother, Father Vatican.

VATICAN: Now, now, Romano, be nice to Italy. It's okay to be-a happy and-a hum and sing. You should be-a more optimistic, Romano.

ROMANO: No way!

NARRATOR: It really is a dysfunctional family. Vatican can be a bit bossy sometimes.

VATICAN: Just-a be kind, Romano!

ROMANO: Shut it, old man!

ITALY: Be nice to Vatican!

VATICAN: Oh, it's quite alright-a, Italy.

NARRATOR: But in the end, they love each other.

ROMANO: No we don't-a!

Scene change. THAILAND sits with INDIA.

THAILAND: So...elephants are cool.

INDIA: I love elephants.

CHINA enters.

CHINA: Hey, Thailand. Hey, India.

THAILAND: Hello.

INDIA: Hi.

VIETNAM and TAIWAN enter, giggling like stereotypical girls.

TAIWAN: Japan is so silly!

JAPAN enters.

JAPAN: I heard my name!

KOREA enters.

KOREA: We having a little Asia party over here?

CHINA: No, Korea, we're not having a party!

VIETNAM: Taiwan! You're so silly! Did Japan really say that?

JAPAN: Say what!? What did I say!?

HONG KONG enters.

HONG KONG: I like My Chemical Romance...and Falling in Reverse...Fall Out Boy...Sew Intricate...Bring Me The Horizon...and All Time Low...Pierce The Veil...Black Veil Brides... Great bands, really. I doubt you've heard of them, though, really. They're rather unique.

TAIWAN: I know what My Chemical Romance is! And All Time Low, and Black Veil Brides!

HONG KONG: Yeah, well, shut up, Taiwan.

VIETNAM: (Sighs) Emo kids.

CHINA: Guys! Everybody shut up! Just...calm down.

VIETNAM: China, we wanted to ask you something.

CHINA: What? What do all of you want from me?

TAIWAN: Money.

HONG KONG: Freedom.

VIETNAM: Respect.

CHINA: (Laughs hysterically) Of course not!

Scene change.

POLAND is wearing a schoolgirl uniform while humming and drawing.

LITHUANIA sits with him.

LITHUANIA: I'm sick of being lumped with Russia. I vant...somebody that loves me, that cares for me!

POLAND: You're like a brother to me, dude.

LITHUANIA: You're like my veird older sister/brother thing that bosses me around.

LITHUANIA and POLAND laugh.

LITHUANIA: I mean...you care for me but...I vant somebody else that does, too. I vant more people that care about my opinions. I vant the vorld to know who I am.

I Can Go The Distance from Hercules

LITHUANIA:

I HAVE OFTEN DREAMED

OF A FAR OF PLACE

VHERE A GREAT VARM VELCOME

VILL BE VAITING FOR ME

VHERE THE CROWDS VILL CHEER

VHEN THE SEE MY FACE

AND A VOICE KEEPS SAYING

THIS IS VHERE I'M MEANT TO BE

I VILL FIND MY VAY

I CAN GO THE DISTANCE

I'LL BE THERE SOMEDAY

IF I CAN BE STRONG

I KNOW EVERY MILE

VILL BE VORTH MY VHILE

I VOULD GO MOST ANYVHERE

TO FIND VHERE I BELONG

I AM ON MY VAY

I CAN GO THE DISTANCE
I DON'T CARE HOW FAR

SOMEHOW I'LL BE STRONG

I KNOW EVERY MILE

VILL BE VORTH MY VHILE

I VOLD GO MOST ANYVHERE

TO FIND VHERE I BELONG

POLAND: You really think you'll find somevhere that...that vill realize who you are? That you're so much more than you think? That you're a vonderful person and you deserve so much more?

LITHUANIA: Vhat? No, I just vant freedom. I just...I vant people to care for me more.

Scene change. POLAND, FRANCE, GERMANY, JAPAN, and SWEDEN stand in a semi-circle.

Dust in The Wind by Kansas

POLAND:

I CLOSE MY EYES

ONLY FOR A MOMENT AND THE MOMENT'S GONE

ALL MY DREAMS

PASS BEFORE MY EYES, A CURIOUSITY

FRANCE:

DUST IN THE WIND

ALL THEY ARE IS DUST IN THE WIND

JAPAN:

SAME OLD SONG

JUST A DROP OF WATER IN AN ENDRESS SEA

ALL:

DUST IN THE WIND

ALL WE ARE IS DUST IN THE WIND

OH, HO HO

GERMANY:

NOW, DON'T HANG ON

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER BUT THE EARTH AND SKY

SWEDEN:

IT SLIPS AVAY

AND ALL YOUR MONEY WON'T A MINUTE BUY

ALL:

DUST IN THE WIND

ALL WE ARE IS DUST IN THE WIND

ALL WE ARE IS DUST IN THE WIND

DUST IN THE WIND

EVERYTHING IS DUST IN THE WIND

EVERYTHING IS DUST IN THE WIND

THE WIND

Scene change. GERMANY and ITALY sit together.

ITALY: What type of music do you like-a, Germany?

GERMANY: I like veird music…

ITALY: Oh? Like what-a?

GERMANY: It's embarrassing.

ITALY: What-a? Just tell me!

GERMANY: Okay, vell...there's this type of German music called Jager...It's...It's children's folk music that's either turned into a dubstep remix or heavy metal.

ITALY: What-a?!

GERMANY: Things like Backe Backe Kuchen, a children's song about baking cakes has been turned into...screamo music.

ITALY bursts into wild laughter.

GERMANY: Don't laugh! It's good…

ITALY: Is that even a real thing? It sounds like a stupid, poorly-made joke about Germans loving cake!

GERMANY: Nein, it's real! Fine, what type of music do you like?

ITALY: I love listening to soundtracks from spaghetti westerns.

GERMANY: So basically stereotypical American music?

ITALY: Don't even try-a to make fun of my-a music. You have-a folk music turned into dubstep-a! It's like-a, if Skrillex was all-a "Hey, I like-a German cake. Oh my god-a, I have an idea!" How high do you have to be to enjoy Jager?!

GERMANY: Shut up.

Scene change. ITALY stands with JAPAN and GERMANY.

JAPAN: Wait, wait, wait, how did the advertise used Itarian guns in Worrd War II?

GERMANY: (Stifling laughter) How?

JAPAN: "Never fired and only dropped once."

GERMANY: (Snickers) Vhat's the difference betveen a smart Italian and unicorn?

JAPAN: What?

GERMANY: Nothing, they're both fictional creatures!

JAPAN and GERMANY burst into laughter.

ITALY: Guys…

GERMANY: Vait, vait, vhat's a good vay to tell that you're Italian?

JAPAN: How?

GERMANY: You're five-four, can bench press 350 pounds and still cry vhen your mama scolds you.

JAPAN: (Giggles) What does FIAT stand for?

GERMANY: Vhat?

JAPAN: Fix it again, Tony!

ITALY: How do you make a German cake?

GERMANY: Hn?

ITALY: First, you occupy der kitchen. Here's another. After much talk of what Germany's new capital should be, Bonn or Berlin, they finally made a decision: Paris.

JAPAN laughs a bit.

ITALY: Have you heard of the new German restaurant? The food sucks and an hour later you're hungry again, for power. How many Japanese does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

JAPAN: Oh? How many?

ITALY: They're too short anyway.

GERMANY: Italy, calm down…

ITALY: How do you know if a Japanese man robbed your house?

JAPAN: How?

ITALY: All the electronics are gone-a and three hours later, he's still-a trying to back out of-a your driveway.

JAPAN: Why did the Itarian boy want a moustache?

ITALY: Why?

JAPAN: To look more like his mother.

GERMANY: How do you get two bigots to laugh on Sunday? Tell them a joke on Friday. What's the difference between an ethnic joke and bucket of sludge? The bucket. Why is a racist like a-

ITALY: We get your point-a!

Long pause.

JAPAN: What do you carr an angry German? (Beat) Sauerkraut.

GERMANY: Aaaargh!

Scene change. AMERICA is eating pasta with ITALY.

AMERICA: I just love-a the pasta and-a girls of your country!

ITALY: Me too!

BRITAIN enters.

BRITAIN: Hold up, hold up, hold up. Why do you have an Italian accent?

ITALY stands.

ITALY: I've found that this happens with-a America. If one country spends a lot of time-a with him, he starts-a acting like that country.

BRITAIN: Damn mixing pot of cultures.

JAPAN enters.

JAPAN: Oh, herro. I didn't see you three here. (Bows)

AMERICA: Hello, Japan. (Bows back)

BRITAIN: You know how to bow?! Since when did this happen?!

ITALY: Don't be so bitter about it.

BRITAIN: So you're the jerk that influenced America into his whole mafia phase!

ITALY: Hey, now!

GERMANY enters.

GERMANY: Guten tag.

AMERICA: Guten tag, Deutschland.

CHINA enters.

CHINA: Nihao, Mei guo.

AMERICA: Nihao. (Bows)

BRITAIN: What the hell!? Since when did this happen?!

LITHUANIA enters, hugging AMERICA tightly.

AMERICA: Lithuania, how I've missed you!

LITHUANIA: I haven't seen you since The Panic!

COUNTRIES begin to chatter.

COUNTRIES: That pasta smells nice., Why is Britain so mad?, Pasta!, I haven't seen America in so long., etc.

CHINA: Don't touch me, Japan!

JAPAN: I didn't, you paranoid ord man!

CHINA: You're almost as old as I am, jerk!

BRITAIN: Everybody shut up!

Crowd noise breaks up.

BRITAIN: Somebody raise their hand and answer me this: When the hell did America get so cultured?

LITHUANIA: (Raises hand awkwardly) V-Vell...a lot of my people fled my country during The Great Depression. They vere hoping for jobs, but...they didn't find many.

GERMANY: My people fled my country around the same time and...if you've ever read a history book about the Vorld Vars, you should know the reason why.

Other countries agree.

BRITAIN: So...you mean to tell me...my precious baby brother isn't just like me anymore?

AMERICA: I was never like you! Look at my skin. Tan. It's tan, brother. I'm not white, alright? I'm, and always will be, Native American. Sure, people, especially Europeans have come to my country, softening and mixing my race until almost no Native Americans were left. That's because you killed so many of my people, Britain. I'm mixed race, now. I have so many cultures and races blended together. But I am, and always will be, Native American.

Scene change. NARRATOR stands off to the side as ITALY stands center stage, sweeping.

NARRATOR: There once was a man named The Holy Roman Empire while Italy live in Mr. Austria's house. In fact, Holy Rome was a boy, not a man. He didn't last very long. He got too big and well...that was the end of him. Italy loved him.

HRE enters.

HRE: Italy? Italy, are you there?

ITALY: Holy Rome? I'm right here.

HRE: Oh! Hello, Italy! I...I must tell you something.

ITALY: What is it-a?

HRE: I'm sorry about everything. I'm leaving, though, so you don't have to be afraid anymore.

ITALY: Wait-a… What are you saying?

HRE: I have to go away now.

HOLY ROMAN SOLDIER enters.

HR SOLDIER: Are you ready, sir?

HRE: Si. (To Italy) Well...see you around. Take good care of yourself for me, okay?

HR SOLDIER exits.

HRE turns to leave and begins walking away.

ITALY: Wait, no, Holy Rome!

HRE pauses.

ITALY: What will I do without you? Don't leave me, no!

HRE turns around.

ITALY: (Holds out his broom) Here, take this with-a you. Maybe it will help you think of me. Then...Then you won't forget about me.

HRE: Italy...Si, grazie! I would be honored to have your push broom! (Takes the broom) I feel like I should give you something. What do people in your country give each other when they have to say goodbye?

ITALY: K-Kiss, I think…

HRE: Kiss? I see. I've liked you for a very long time. It's been since at least the tenth century.

HRE and ITALY kiss chastely.

ITALY: R-Really?

HRE: I wouldn't lie to you, Italy.

NARRATOR: Aww...look how cute and sad this scene is!

ITALY: Yay, that's happy!

HRE: Well...I'm off now. Be careful. Take good care of yourself. Eat well. I promise that when the war finally ends, I'll come back to you. I promise that I'll see you again. Make sure to think of me, because I will be back, I promise!

ITALY: Okay! I can't wait-a to see you again! I'll be waiting! I'll make plenty of treats for when you come home! Don't get sick! Try not to get sick or die violently, either! I know we will see each other again, I know it!

HRE: No matter how much time will pass, you'll always be my most favorite in the whole world!

HRE exits.

NARRATOR: Afterwards, The Holy Roman Empire threw himself into a very long war, promptly falling from the world. Italy was wrong; he would never see his best friend again.

Scene change. GERMANY sits center stage. NARRATOR enters.

NARRATOR: Germany feels eternally guilty, for very obvious reasons. If the war is even mentioned, he'll sob and shake and curl up in a ball and repeat "Never forget, never repeat" like some sort of mantra. This guy is super screwed up.

GERMANY curls into a ball, rocking back and forth.

GERMANY: Never forget, never repeat, never forget, never repeat… (Continues)

NARRATOR: I told you he's messed up.

NARRATOR exits.

POLAND enters.

POLAND: Germany! Are you hurt? Oh my gawd!

GERMANY: Never forget, never repeat, never forget, never repeat… (Continues)

POLAND: You...You're crying. You're...You're thinking about that time, aren't you?

GERMANY: I'm so sorry!

POLAND: I can't fully forgive you for vhat you like, did. You did like, put me in a concentration camp. I can't forgive you for vhat you did to my people. But I...I may not fully forgive you, but I forgive you on some level. It's been a vhile now. My people have healed. I've healed. You screwed up, I admit. You screwed up majorly. I mean, like...wow. You...You really messed up-

GERMANY: You aren't helping!

POLAND: I'm sorry. Listen, I've healed and so have my people. Ve're okay now. And like...I...I forgive you a bit. I don't know if my vords are comforting but… I'm really trying, okay? Listen, you're a good guy. It's been years since the incident and...I'm not saying you did something good, because you like, did something awful. Never forget vhat you done, and don't you ever repeat it but, like...stop beating yourself up, man.

Scene change. PRUSSIA, SPAIN, GERMANY and BRITAIN enter.

Viva La Vida by Coldplay

BRITAIN:

I USED TO RULE THE WORLD

SEAS WOULD RISE WHEN I GAVE THE WORD

NOW IN THE MORNING I SLEEP ALONE

SWEEP THE STREETS I USED TO OWN

I USED TO ROLL THE DICE

FEEL THE FEAR IN MY ENEMY'S EYES

LISTEN AS THE CROWD WOULD SING

"NOW THE OLD KING IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE KING!"

PRUSSIA:

ONE MINUTE I HELD THE KEY

NEXT THE VALLS WERE CLOSED ON ME

AND I DISCOVERED THAT MY CASTLES STAND

UPON PILLARS OF SALT AND PILLARS OF SAND

I HEAR JERUSALEM BELLS A-RINGING

ROMAN CAVALRY CHOIRS ARE SINGING

BE MY MIRROR, MY SWORD, AND SHIELD

MY MISSIONARIES ARE IN A FOREIGN FIELD

GERMANY:

FOR SOME REASON I CAN'T EXPLAIN

ONCE YOU'RE GONE THERE VAS NEVER

NEVER AN HONEST VORD

BUT THAT VAS WHEN I RULED THE VORLD

SPAIN:

IT WAS A WICKED AND WILD WIND

BLEW DOWN THE DOORS TO LET ME IN

SHATTERED WINDOWS AND SOUND OF DRUMS

PEOPLE COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'D BECOME

REVOLUTIONARIES WAIT

FOR MY HEAD ON SILVER PLATE

JUST A PUPPET ON A LONELY STRING

OH WOULD EVER WANT TO BE KING?

ALL:

I HEAR JERUSALEM BELLS ARE RINGING

ROMAN CAVALRY CHOIRS ARE SINGING

BE MY MIRROR, MY SHIELD AND SWORD

MY MISSIONARIES IN A FOREIGN FIELD

FOR SOME REASON I CAN'T EXPLAIN

I KNOW SAINT PETER WILL CALL MY NAME

NEVER AN HONEST WORD

BUT THAT WAS WHEN I RULED THE WORLD

WOAHAHAHAH OH, WOAHAHAHAH

WOAHAHAHAH OH, WOAHAHAHAH

WOAHAHAHAH

I HEAR JERUSALEM BELLS ARE RINGING

ROMAN CAVALRY CHOIRS ARE SINGING

BE MY MIRROR, MY SHIELD AND SWORD

MY MISSIONARIES IN A FOREIGN FIELD

FOR SOME REASON I CAN'T EXPLAIN

I KNOW SAINT PETER WILL CALL MY NAME

NEVER AN HONEST WORD

BUT THAT WAS WHEN I RULED THE WORLD

OOH, OH,

OOH, OH

OOH, OH

OOH, OH

NARRATOR enters.

NARRATOR: If you've done your homework, you know that these three, Britain, Spain and Prussia used to be so great, so big, so...so important. Look at them now! Britain...He's tiny! Sure, he's a world power but...where is that empire now? Spain...Oh, Spain. He's bigger than Britain but not much, and he's not a world power. And Prussia? Prussia's gone! A lot of you may have just heard about him today for the first time!

BRITAIN: I used to be great! I...I really put the "Great" in "Great Britain." I was huge! I was an empire. America used to respect me...and now he's so much bigger than I am. He himself is practically an empire and me...me? I'm...I'm nothing.

SPAIN: I used to be something. I was huge. I was...I was respected. I was respected so much! Not anymore…

PRUSSIA: Vhat kind of example am I for Germany? I'm a failure. I fell! I've fallen and...I'm shameful. I'm not worthy of...of anything.

Scene change. ALL COUNTRIES and NARRATOR enter

AMERICA: Freedom is singing throughout the land as freedom grows and freedom grows!

BRITAIN: We are cultured, and kindness spreads. Sure, there will always be jerks in this world, but acceptance is growing!

RUSSIA: We are one!

CHINA: We recognize people as equals, not others!

JAPAN: For now, we're smiling and loving.

GERMANY: We love one another, and we love all. We don't judge each other based on stupid, silly things like race, gender, sexual orientation or ethnicity.

ITALY: Everybody loves everybody!

FRANCE: Love spread and the world is relatively peaceful. For now.

NARRATOR: Wait, wait, wait! You guys realize that everything you said was completely untrue? This world hates itself. Humans are viciously killing each other right now as we speak. And some of you are to blame!

GERMANY: It's better than it used to be.

NARRATOR: Well, yeah, but like...It's still not good.

For Now from Avenue Q

NARRATOR:

EVERYONE'S A LITTLE BIT UNSATISFIED

AMERICA:

EVERYONE GOES 'ROUND A LITTLE EMPTY INSIDE

PRUSSIA:

TAKE A BREATH,
LOOK AROUND,

SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE

ITALY:

FOR NOW

ALL:

FOR NOW

POLAND:

NOTHING LASTS

FRANCE:

LIFE GOES ON

RUSSIA:

FULL OF SURPRISES

ITALY:

YOU'LL BE FACED WITH PROBLEMS

OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES!

FINLAND:

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A FEW COMPROMISES

FOR NOW

BULGARIA:

FOR NOW

ALL:

BUT ONLY FOR NOW (FOR NOW)

ONLY FOR NOW (FOR NOW)

ONLY FOR NOW (FOR NOW)

ONLY FOR NOW!

CANADA:

FOR NOW WE'RE HEALTHY

NARRATOR:

FOR NOW I'M EMPLOYED

SPAIN:

FOR NOW WE'RE HAPPY

ITALY:

IF NOT OVERJOYED!

PRUSSIA:

AND WE'LL ACCEPT THE THINGS WE CANNOT AVOID

FOR NOW

KOREA:

FOR NOW

CHINA:

FOR NOW

JAPAN:

FOR NOW

ALL:

BUT ONLY FOR NOW (FOR NOW)

ONLY FOR NOW (FOR NOW)

ONLY FOR NOW (FOR NOW)

ONLY FOR NOW!

ONLY FOR NOW!

FRANCE:

FOR NOW THERE'S LIFE!

ALL:

ONLY FOR NOW

HUNGARY AND AUSTRIA:

FOR NOW THERE'S LOVE

GERMANY: You guys split up!

ALL:

ONLY FOR NOW

NARRATOR:

FOR NOW THERE'S WORK

FOR NOW THERE'S HAPPINESS

BUT ONLY FOR NOW

KOREA:

FOR NOW DISCOMFORT!

ALL:

ONLY FOR NOW!

LITHUANIA, ESTONIA and LATVIA:

FOR NOW THERE'S FRIENDSHIP!

ONLY FOR NOW!

ALL:

FOR NOW

ONLY FOR NOW!

ONLY FOR NOW

GREECE: Money!

ALL:

IS ONLY FOR NOW

PRUSSIA: Your life!

ALL:

IS ONLY FOR NOW

RUSSIA: Power!

ALL:

IS ONLY FOR NOW

DON'T STRESS
RELAX

LET LIFE ROLL OF YOUR BACKS

EXCEPT FOR DEATH AND PAYING TAXES

EVERYTHING IS ONLY FOR NOW

THAILAND:

EACH TIMES YOU SMILE

IT ONLY LASTS A WHILE

HRE:

WAR MAY BE SCARY

BUT IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY

ALL:

BA-DUM BA-DUM

BA-DUM BA-DUM

BA-DUM BA-DUM

BA-DA DA DA DA

BA-DA DA DA DA

BA-DUM BA-DUM

BA-DUM BA-DUM

OHHH-

ITALY:

EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS ONLY FOR NOW

NARRATOR: Because this script was based off of a series of books, we have to give credit again. The original books, Hetalia: Axis Powers, were written by Hidekaz Himaruya. The books were later turned into an anime, also named Hetalia. This is the anime's theme song, Marukaite Chikyuu, written in Japanese. We're first going to sing it in Japanese, then in English.

ITALY:

NEE NEE PAPA WAIN WO CHOUDAI

NEE NEE MAMA NEE NEE MAMA

MUKASHI NI TABETA BORONEEZE MO

ANO AJI WA WASURERARENAIN DA

ALL:

MARUKAITE CHIKYUU

MARUKAITE CHIKYUU
MARUKAITE CHIKYUU

BOKU HETALIA

MARUKAITE CHIKYUU

JITTO MITE CHIKYUU

HYOTTO SHITE CHIKYUU

BOKU HETALIA

ITALY:

AH HITOFUDE DE

MIERU SUBARASHII SEKAI

NAGAGUTSU DE KANPAI DA

HETALIA!

ITALY:

HEY HEY PAPA COULD I HAVE SOME WINE?

HEY HEY MAMA HEY HEY MAMA!

NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I'LL NEVER FORGET

THE TASTE OF BOLOGNESE WON'T GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

ALL:

DRAW A CIRCLE, THAT'S THE EARTH

DRAW A CIRCLE, THAT'S THE EARTH

DRAW A CIRCLE, THAT'S THE EARTH

I AM HETALIA

DRAW A CIRCLE, THERE'S THE EARTH

LOOKING CLOSELY, THERE'S THE EARTH

LOOKING AGAIN, THERE'S THE EARTH

I AM HETALIA

ITALY:

AH, A FABULOUS WOULD THAT

CAN BE SEEN WITH THE STROKE OF A SINGLE BRUSH

NOW LET'S HAVE A TOAST WITH OUR BOOTS

HETALIA!

ITALY: Ah, I'm hungry. I want to eat pasta!

---

Thank you so much for reading all of this! I know that it's huge. This took me about eight months to write. I kept rewriting and rewriting the script, but I was dedicated. I really hope that you enjoyed. Please do not use this script for performance purposes, because not only do I not want it to be used, you probably will be sued by somebody due to all the different songs used.