Kurt bumped into Elliott outside his favourite coffee shop on his way back from school, so they ended up sharing a table. Kurt was really happy to see him, because lately both of them had been really busy and it had been a while since the last time they had the chance to go out for coffee.
He had met Elliott on his first day of college – actually, run into was more accurate – and after the initial awkwardness they had helped each other gathering the books and papers they had both dropped and had started talking. Elliott was in his second year of college at Tisch and had offered to accompany him to his next class and show him around campus. Kurt had gladly accepted the offer and just like that they had become friends. He considered him his best friend in New York.
They chose a small table near a window and started chatting about the latest gossip and fashion trends in the city. Then Elliott told him about his band – he was still trying to get him to join them, but with no luck – and Kurt talked about how he started writing to Blaine and he didn't know exactly why, because Elliott was a great listener (and like Blaine had pointed out in his last email, that's what friendship is about).
His friend was thoughtful for a moment, then said: "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you miss Lima."
Kurt raised an eyebrow, surprised.
"What do you mean? I would never go back there. Not in a million years."
"No, of course, I know that. But this sort of connection you said you feel towards the kid" Kurt snorted at the term, but didn't interrupt him "could be because you're feeling nostalgic about your old town."
"But there was absolutely nothing I liked there!" Kurt exclaimed.
"Are you telling me you don't even miss your old friends?" It was Elliott's turn to raise an eyebrow at him.
"Of course I do, but I don't see how it has anything to do with Blaine."
"I don't know, maybe he reminds you of the good times you had in Ohio..."
"Which were quite rare, if you ask me." Kurt let out a healf-hearted laugh.
Elliott looked at him with an earnest look on his face.
"Kurt, look, we may not have known each other for that long, but I can tell you're refusing to think about anything from your past, and I don't find it surprising since you went through a lot, but I'm just saying, just because most of your memories of Lima are bad, it doesn't mean you should forget about the good things. When was the last time you talked to someone from there, excluding Rachel?"
Kurt hated to admit he might have been right, and he couldn't think of the last time he talked to Mercedes, or Quinn, or even Finn, and he was his stepbrother. In that moment, he felt guilty, but he knew calling them wouldn't have solved anything. Mercedes would have just said she missed him and made him feel even worse, Quinn would have pointed out how bad of a friend he was, and she would have been right, because he loved them both and the three of them had had great times together, but apparently that wasn't enough for him to make a simple call. And then there was Finn, whom he talked to every once in a while when he called home to talk to his family, but they hadn't had a real conversation in years, and he wouldn't have said anything about it, which made Kurt feel even more guilty.
"Kurt, are you still here?" Elliott was waving a hand in front of his face. He realized he got lost in his thoughts.
"Yeah, sorry. I guess you're right, but I can't even bring myself to think about Lima without cringing. It's too much. I already find it hard talking to Rachel every other day, and I wouldn't even do it if she wasn't so insistent with her calls. And I also know she always reports everything to the rest of the New Directions, and they rely on her to know how I'm doing." He sighed. "I know I'm being a shitty friend, but I just can't talk to them without feeling sad about what could have been if I hadn't been constantly bullied and my life hadn't become a living hell."
Elliott reached out to grip his hand in a gesture of comfort.
"I'm sorry, Kurt. I didn't mean to remind you of all that bad stuff. I shouldn't have said anything."
"It's okay, I asked you for your opinion, and I appreciate you being honest with me. I just don't think Lima has anything to do with my desire of being friends with Blaine."
On their way out of the coffee shop, Elliott turned towards him and said "And for the record, I don't think you're a shitty friend at all. In fact, you're one of the best people I know."
That warmed Kurt's heart.
Blaine was sitting on his bed, thinking about the conversation he had had with Sam that morning. His best friend had opened up with him about the issues he and his family had with money in the past, and the issues he still had with learning – he was dyslexic, and all he had been capable to do was hug him and tell him he would always be there for him. He meant it, of course, but now he was wondering just why he hadn't been able to reciprocate with a "confession" of his own. He really wanted to talk to him about his past: then why hadn't he? His head was starting to hurt, and he closed his eyes, feeling really bad about the whole situation.
"What's wrong?" said a voice. It was almost a whisper, but he would have never missed it. He opened his eyes to find Kurt sitting on the windowsill, looking at him with a concerned expression on his beautiful face.
"Hi, angel. I was hoping you'd come and talk to me. I missed you." He said, with a smile.
"I missed you too." Kurt paused. "Why do you look so sad? I hate seeing you like this."
Blaine sighed. "I just feel like I'm being a really bad friend to Sam. Today he talked to me about some serious things that happened to him in the past – personal things, the kind of subject you don't just talk about with anyone – and even though I offered him my support, I feel guilty because he still basically doesn't know anything about me."
Kurt came closer to him. "You're not a bad friend, Blaine, you're the best person I've ever met. There's nothing wrong with not being ready to talk about something that's really important and intimate to you. Try not to worry about it."
"I will, I promise. Now, why don't you tell me about your day?"
Halfway through their conversation, Blaine's computer emitted a sound, alerting him he had a new email. He went to his inbox to check it, and wasn't surprised to see it was from the real Kurt. Deciding he would read it later, he closed it and turned the computer off. But when he turned around, his Kurt wasn't there anymore. Blaine's brow furrowed. That was weird – usually he disappeared like that only when they were interrupted by someone (most times, his parents).
He resolved to just shrug it off for the moment, and went downstairs to help his mother with dinner.