HEARTLESS

Chapter Eleven - Why Emotions and Logic Don't Mix

Catherine's last words made Horatio feel ill at ease. Having already witnessed how cold and brutal Josiah Barton could be, whatever Catherine had meant by 'fun and games', Horatio had little doubt that the explanation would be chilling.

Watching Catherine as she slumped back on the couch, he was overcome by a desire to want to take her in his arms and hold her close, to protect her from a past that she would rather have stayed hidden. Was he being cruel to force her to relive such painful memories?

He didn't have a choice. Josiah Barton was behind the murder of Theresa Lopez – he was sure of it. Neither could he deny the similarities in appearance between Catherine, Theresa and the woman Barton had attacked before he'd been sent to prison.

Catherine was Barton's target, that much was clear already. She was vulnerable and he'd never been able to ignore his own gut instinct when it came to victims. Was it Catherine's sense of vulnerability that made him want to reach out and touch her hair, to tuck it behind her ear and take her face in his hands?

Was it Barton or his own growing attraction to Catherine making him feel on edge? Either way, it must have shown in his posture as Catherine sat up straighter, looking at him questioningly.

"Lieutenant, is everything ok?"

It took Horatio a few moments to react to the question. "I'm good, but how about calling me Horatio, hmm?"

"I'd like that," Catherine smiled in response. "Horatio is a strong name, I like it."

Horatio gave her a bashful smile. "Not the best name to have when you're a kid though."

Looking him up and down, Catherine smiled appreciatively at what she saw. "It suits you – strong, masculine, reliable…"

The way Catherine was looking at him began to generate a primal response from Horatio's loins as he felt his groin tighten painfully, and he tried hiding his reaction by crossing his legs and clearing his throat. The Catherine who'd open her hotel door to him today was completely different from the dowdy-looking woman he'd come across at the church. Even in her plain clothing he'd found her attractive, but dressed as she was now, he found her even more alluring.

"Tell me more about your time with the Fosdicks," Horatio prompted, his heart sinking at seeing Catherine's sudden change in demeanor.

"I'd really rather not. It was a long time ago, does it really matter?"

As much as he found himself attracted to her, Horatio was becoming increasingly frustrated at her reluctance to speak of her ex-husband and the people who seemed to have had such a hold over him.

The discomfort in his groin easing, Horatio leaned forward, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Catherine, from what you've told me, Josiah Barton went from being a kind and gentle man to a cold and calculated monster…almost overnight. You said yourself that the changes in him coincided with his association with the Fosdicks. It doesn't take a cop to work out that the two are related. I can't protect you from what I can't see, Catherine."

His last comment pricked at her vanity. "I never asked for your protection, lieutenant!"

Horatio closed his eyes, trying to keep his temper in check. "It's my job to protect people. It's what I do."

"So I'm just a job to you, nothing more?"

The words were out of her mouth before Catherine could stop them, causing Horatio's eyes to widen in surprise for mere moments before he covered his reaction with another plea for Catherine to open up and tell him about her experiences with the Fosdicks.

"Tell me what happened, Catherine. Tell me what happened to make Josiah change."

Shocked by her own lack of control, Catherine found herself thrown back to the time that she'd spent with Faith and Emerson Fosdick.

"Joe and I had been able to decline the drugs for a short while, but as Faith began to have an increasing hold on Joe, the pressure to take them grew on us. At first, the others would tease us, but then their comments started to become more….sinister."

"Sinister? How so?"

"At first it was the odd comment here and there… then things became more heated… people started to get physical… as if they were forcing their will upon us. Faith had Joe under some sort of spell and soon he was doing whatever she told him. He took the pills before I did, and then he…"

"What did he do, Catherine?" Horatio reached forward, taking her hands in his own as she avoided his gaze. "Sweetheart, I need you to tell me what happened next."

It took time, but Catherine finally refocused her gaze onto Horatio as if she were coming out of a trance. "Joe..." she began before stopping suddenly. "Faith had a hold over him, it didn't take her long to convince him to try one of those little pills. He tried to get me to take one with him, but I wouldn't. I just watched as he took one for the first time…"

"Is that what made him change, Catherine? Did he become addicted to the drugs the Fosdicks were giving him?"

Catherine shook her head, realizing that Horatio still didn't understand what had happened when Joe had met the Fosdicks. "I watched as the drugs took affect... I watched his eyes lose their focus. He was under Faith's influence, he did anything she asked… nothing was off limits when those drugs came out. Joe started pressuring me to take them and when I refused he became cruel and condescending toward me, calling me a coward for not wanting to have a little fun. Nothing about what happened at the Fosdicks was fun, Horatio."

Seeing the tears forming in Catherine's eyes, Horatio felt a pang of guilt as one escaped and rolled down her cheek. Moving slowly so as to not startle her, he reached up and brushed the tear away with his thumb. "Catherine, I know you don't want to rake up painful memories, but I need you to tell me what happened at these parties that you and Joe went to."

It took all of her energy to recall the images of a past that she'd been running away from for years now. Taking a deep breath, Catherine raised her eyes to meet Horatio's. "The Fosdicks were cruel… Faith in particular."

"How so?" Horatio questioned, returning to the couch opposite Catherine, allowing her some personal space while she recounted her nightmares.

"Faith had a thing about snakes…"

"What sort of thing? An obsession?"

Catherine shook her head. "No, it was more than that. Yes, she had some of those creatures that she kept as pets, but there was something so… malignant about her. It was almost as if she was as cold-blooded as those creatures she kept."

"Did you witness her breaking the law?" Horatio prompted, hoping that Catherine could give him an angle Frank could then work with when he visited Faith.

"Human laws?" Catherine asked before answering her own question. "Not as such, she certainly never killed anyone if that's what you're thinking. Moral laws?" Catherine laughed humorlessly. "She broke pretty much every one of those."

Catherine studied Horatio, noting the creases and care lines marring his handsome face. Although still an attractive man, she could only imagine how handsome he must have been in his younger years. "You remember the cats in my office?"

Horatio nodded, saying nothing, allowing Catherine to continue at her own pace.

"I found them abandoned not far from the church. It had been raining heavily all day and some heartless fiend had left a cat and her new-born kittens to fend for themselves on the streets. The area I work isn't known for its hospitality, Horatio."

"I'm well aware of that," Horatio responded, attempting to keep his tone neutral. After all, he'd been the one to lecture Catherine on not leaving the church on her own after dark.

"Those cats were defenseless… vulnerable. They deserved better than to be found by someone who wouldn't care for them… someone who would be cruel."

"Was Faith cruel? Is that why you took those kittens in?"

Catherine shook her head. "They reminded me. When I saw those tiny kittens, I remembered how I'd stood back and did nothing as the Fosdicks delighted their guests with such a barbaric display of cruelty."

Despite the color draining from Catherine's face, Horatio knew he had to keep pressing her. "What happened, Catherine?"

"It was a few months after Joe had started taking the pills, he'd finally worn me down enough to get me to take one. It was that night, when everyone was suitably relaxed, that Faith decided to show us one of her prized possessions: her Burmese python."

"But they're illegal," Horatio countered. "And huge. How the hell did she manage to get her hands on one of those?"

Catherine let out a small huff, picking at the stitching on her skirt. "I have no idea, but what Faith wants… Faith usually gets."

Judging by what Catherine had already told him, Horatio had little doubt that Faith Fosdick was a woman with great influence over the people around her, yet Catherine made it sound as if there were something almost supernatural about the woman. How much of Catherine's recall was borne of hysteria and how much was really fact?

"The snake stunned all of us into silence. Some recoiled in fear as Faith allowed the vile creature to slither around the room, she took great delight in telling us that it wasn't even fully grown yet. There were times when I thought Faith cared more about that snake than she did her own husband."

"What makes you say that? From what you've told me so far, the Fosdicks were equally complicit in their malevolent games."

"There was something not quite right about Emerson. It was almost as if Faith had him under her control. Whatever she asked, he did without question. He never once said a cross word or contradicted anything Faith said. It was like she had him under some sort of spell."

Try as he might, Horatio couldn't quite hide the dubiousness from his expression.

"I know what you're thinking, Horatio. You think that I'm some kind of hysterical woman who has imagined all of this, but I can assure you I'm not. If you ever come across Faith Fosdick you'll know what I mean."

Horatio felt pain in the pit of his stomach, realizing that he'd sent Frank to visit Faith Fosdick without knowing the full facts. With Frank going in there blind, there was a potential for major fallout. Frank was a grouch at the best of times and not only had Horatio sent him to the Keyes, he'd subjected him to a woman who it was becoming increasingly obvious had a strange and compelling hold over the people she came in contact with. Frank would most definitely not be a happy camper when he returned from the visit.

Distancing his thoughts from how pissed Frank would be with him, Horatio directed his questioning back toward the night that Catherine had been explaining. "What happened that evening, Catherine…the evening with the snake?"

Catherine blanched again, her face losing all color, the whites of her knuckles showing as she clenched her hands into fists. "After Faith had let everyone have a good look at the snake, she brought something over from the corner of the room. I'd heard faint noises earlier but I couldn't work out what was making them. It was a crate of kittens, they couldn't have been more than a few weeks old, Horatio. She instructed us to stand back as she opened the crate. Those kittens didn't stand a chance."

Horatio swallowed thickly, trying to rid his mind of the image of defenseless creatures being slaughtered for nothing more than entertainment. "It didn't try to attack anyone?"

"Those kittens were just as real as we were, Horatio!" Catherine shouted, feeling an uncontrollable need to defend those kittens – even when no one else had – including her. "It was like Faith had that snake under her control…after it had finished with the kittens, it recoiled, ready to strike…and then it just looked at her, like it was waiting for Faith to tell it what to do next."

"Some of us gasped in shock," Catherine continued. "But Joe….Joe just laughed. How could someone find something so barbaric funny?" Catherine asked herself. "Joe and Faith were staring at each other…laughing as those kittens squealed in the throes of death."

It was obvious now that Catherine had taken the kittens in at the church as some sort of penance for what she'd witnessed at the Fosdicks. Was she still blaming herself for allowing such things to happen?

Horatio told himself that Catherine was as vulnerable as those kittens had been. Too trusting of the man she loved as Faith Fosdick tried to lead both of them down a dark path toward depravity. Catherine had initially given off an air of being weak and needy, yet it must have taken inordinate courage to break away from not only the Fosdicks, but also the man she loved.

From what Catherine had told him about Faith Fosdick, and what he'd already learned about her ex-husband Josiah, it was becoming clear that, although Catherine had escaped from their influence, neither of them were the kind of people who would tolerate such behavior from her. The murder of Theresa Lopez was a message from Josiah, one which made it very clear that he would not stop until he'd taken Catherine back under his control.

Catherine took his silence as an indication of his low opinion of her - it was enough to cause her to react angrily. "You think I'm some kind of weak-willed woman who brought this on herself, don't you?"

The level of anger in Catherine's voice took Horatio by surprise. "Catherine, I – "

Catherine shot to her feet, storming toward the bathroom once more. "You think I'm making more out of this than there really is. I should have known….I should have known not to trust you."

There wasn't even time to answer in his own defense before Catherine slammed the bathroom door shut behind her, the sound of the lock being engaged ringing in Horatio's ears.

Safe in the confines of the bathroom, Catherine allowed the tears to fall from her eyes, watching in dazed fascination as her hands shook as they gripped the sides of the sink. Looking in the mirror, the voice in her head commanded her to take another one of those pills. Today had been arduous and she'd been forced to relive things she'd rather forget. She just needed another one of those pills to take the edge off…

"Catherine, I'm not sure what you think, but I can promise you that I don't think you're any of those things." The tenderness in Horatio's voice was almost enough to convince Catherine that his words were genuine, yet she'd been betrayed too many times to be so easily fooled.

That smoky voice was almost hypnotic. With only his voice, Horatio was able to reach something deep within her, yet her instant reaction had been to shut him out and retaliate with anger. That was how it had started with Joe, he'd gotten inside her and taken control, she wouldn't – no, she couldn't – let that happen again.

"Open the door, sweetheart. Let's talk about this."

His voice, it was threatening to undo her again. Just a little longer. Let the pill kick in. She repeated the mantra in her head until she could feel the sense of calm wash over her once more. It was enough to make her feel stronger, to display a sense of confidence that she didn't actually feel.

Checking her appearance in the mirror one last time, Catherine fixed her hair and expression, opening the door. "I'm tired of talking, Horatio. Maybe it's best for you to leave."

Those deep blue eyes of his stared into her own. Was she mistaken in thinking that there was a hint of passion in them?

"I don't think leaving you on your own is such a good idea, Catherine."

"I can look after myself!" she shot back, trying to make her way past Horatio but finding herself blocked at each attempt.

"Like you did against your husband and the Fosdicks?" Horatio's face clearly displayed how frustrated Catherine's belligerence was making him.

"You know nothing about me. Now get out of my way!"

This time, Catherine raised her hands to push at Horatio's chest, yet he caught her wrists easily, watching her intently as her face flushed with anger and her breath came in short bursts.

"I know more about you than you think," Horatio said, his voice low as he maintained close proximity with Catherine. "I know that there's a man out there who is obsessed with you and is willing to kill innocent people to send you a message. I know you and your husband got mixed up in some pretty dark things and now it's come back to bite you. You brought this to my city, Catherine. I'm going to deal with this whether you like it or not."

"You arrogant bastard – "

Before either of them were fully cognizant of what was happening, they found themselves locked in a passionate embrace as anger, lust and frustration lit a spark between them. Hands clawed at clothes as both Catherine and Horatio lost themselves to the moment.

It took Catherine by surprise as to just how passionate the seemingly straight-laced lieutenant could be. Despite his forcefulness, there was also a sense of tenderness as he held her close and kissed her. Horatio Caine was something of a paradox and it both scared and excited her in equal measure. He was strong yet gentle, forceful yet tender, determined yet sympathetic to the needs of others. It was a highly intoxicating combination and one that Catherine was finding hard to resist.

Losing herself in the moment, Catherine was shocked when Horatio pulled away from her suddenly, the clouds of passion quickly dying in his eyes. "Catherine – "

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted this?"

Horatio closed his eyes, letting out a frustrated breath. "I do, but we….we can't do this. I'm working a case and I can't be involved with the woman at the center of it."

"Why not?" Catherine retorted, her hands upon her hips.

"I have to focus, Catherine. I can't do that if we're doing... this."

"And what is this?"

Horatio shook his head. "I don't know, but whatever it is, it has to stop now."

"Horatio – " Catherine called out, but it was too late, he'd bolted from the room quickly, the door slamming closed behind him.

Raising her hand to her lips, she touched them gently as her mind recalled the heady sensations of Horatio kissing her only moments before. More than the anger and passion that he brought out in her, Catherine felt one thing above everything else: a sense of bewilderment at what had just happened.

To be continued.