Chapter 3

During dinner the day of Adam's return from Placerville, Adam ate very little, pushing his food around on his plate.

"Mistah Adam," Hop Sing had said looking worried, "something wrong with food or you? You not eat."

"There's nothing wrong with the food." Adam pushed the plate away and pulled his coffee cup in front of him.

"Yeah, Hop Sing," Joe added, "see how many helpings Hoss had? Nothing wrong with the food at all." But Joe knew that the problem was with Adam as he had passed up the chance to get in a dig at Hoss' huge appetite.

"Have vanilla cake with boiled icing inch thick for dessert." Hop Sing grinned.

"None for me," Adam said. "I'll just have more coffee." Adam stood and walked to the sideboard to pour himself another cup while Hop Sing took away plates.

"What's put you off your feed?" Hoss asked. "You ain't been the same since you came back from Placerville. You got a woman there?"

Ben cleared his throat.

"That's a fair question," Hoss said. "He heads off to Placerville 'bout once every two-three months and don't say nothin' about it when he comes home and won't answer no questions."

"That's your brother's business," Ben said although he himself had questioned Adam about it twice already and received no satisfactory answer.

Adam sighed deeply before he spoke. "Actually, it's all of your business. I have something to tell you about my trips to Placerville." Adam sat back down at the table and with all eyes on him, even Hop Sing's who had returned with the cake, he told them about Ann and Ezra and they listened quietly until he finished.

"So basically, that's it," Adam said. "It could be mine but my guess is that it's Tom Burns' son. Ann had said that he stayed up in her room with her when he was on the run and that they were together for a few days, talking and…well, she never said anything else they did together but if she slept with me because I looked like Tom-only I prefer to think he looked like me-well, my guess is that she fell on her back for him as well. I think she loved him."

"You know Adam," Hoss said, "you keep callin' Ezra 'it.' Whyn't you call him 'Ezra." That's his name."

Ben Cartwright had listened to the news about the child from his eldest son and not said anything. Both Hoss and Joe also had sat and listened, not asking any questions until Adam had finished talking and relating that Ann had died from pneumonia a bit over a month after giving birth to a healthy boy. She had turned her child over to Cassie who had a small daughter, to feed and care for. Cassie being a generous woman with both her heart as well as her body as Adam found out, welcomed the child who was a beautiful boy with dark swirls of hair, a cupid's mouth and swarthy skin. Cassie had sworn to Ann that her child would be loved and cared for as if he were her own.

Cassie had related to Adam how she had sat by Ann's bedside, holding her pale hand while the woman struggled for every breath. "Looks just like Tom Burns. Shame he's dead," Cassie had said.

" 'No,' Ann said to me while she lay there slowly dyin'. 'Ezra's father is Adam Cartwright of the Ponderosa in Nevada. You know, the one who looked like Tom Burns. Remember him?' And I did remember you from that time you showed up in the saloon and Ann thought you were Tom. 'Let 'im know he has a son—he'll do the right thing by the boy.' So I asked her how she could be sure seein' as how you two were the spittin' image of one another. And then she said, 'He's alive and he's rich,' she'd said with her eyes closed. 'That's how I'm sure.' "

Adam had to credit Cassie with openness; she hadn't needed to tell him what Ann had said concerning his being named the father before she died. When Adam went to look at the record of birth in the Placerville's Court of Records, he saw that he was named as the father and that the child's full name was Ezra Thomas Cartwright. Adam snorted with ill humor when he saw it—Ann apparently wasn't as sure as to who fathered Ezra as she claimed. And Adam also saw that Ann's last name was Walsh—something he never knew. If brought home how foolish he had been that afternoon.

He was determined not to repeat the mistake so the first time Cassie offered him comfort, he declined. "I'm not going to be named the father of another child," he had stated despite being tempted.

She had laughed and shrugged off her gown. "Long as I'm nursin', there won't be no baby."

Adam also wondered since Cassie had seemed to have fallen in love with the boy, if she hoped to keep him—and to still receive his support each month. But then, Adam admitted to himself, he always looked for hidden motives, always looked for the dark side of a person's nature but Cassie seemed far too open and none too capable of sophisticated machinations. But Ann, the fact that she had given Ezra Tom Burns' first name led him to determine that she believed that Ezra might very well be Tom's son. He knew he had to let his family know of his paternal doubts and hoped they would be more accepting than he was. If Ezra was going to come to the Ponderosa, he didn't want them biased against the boy but to welcome him. After all, Ezra needed someone's love since Adam wasn't sure if he could truly do so—if every time he looked at the boy he wouldn't be reminded at how he had been irrevocably bound to the boy by the name Cartwright that Ann had given him.

Adam paused before answering Hoss. Both Joe and his father were waiting for his response as well as Hoss.

"I suppose I don't really think of him as a person yet. And…the fact that he may not even be mine…"

Ben rose from the table and while his sons watched, he walked into the great room where he sat down in his favorite chair and reached for his pipe. He packed tobacco in it and all his sons remained silent; they knew a proclamation was to come so they waited. Adam turned in his chair at the end of the table and Hop Sing went back to the kitchen; Hop Sing knew that Mr. Cartwright would come talk to him later about what would be needed from him. They all knew that and despite their ages, Adam, Hoss and Joe respected their father's last words on any subject.

Ben lit the pipe and puffed a few times and then removed it and cleared his throat.

"Since there's no way to know who Ezra's father really is and it could very well be you, Adam, I think that as of now, right now, we should accept it as fact that I have a grandson and he will live here with us. We won't discuss any morality as to his birth or Adam's behavior…"

"Pa, I accept that I didn't use the greatest judgment…"

"It doesn't matter, Adam, but as far as we or anyone else is concerned, Ezra is a Cartwright and will be raised as one."

Joe finally spoke. "You think we should lie, Pa, and say that Adam was married—you know, to spare the baby any rumors or such?"

Adam spoke up. "Wait a minute, now. I'm tired of lies and subterfuge."

"Well you ain't exactly been honest, Adam, taking off for Placerville all those times and saying nothin' 'bout the reason. What's one more lie iffen it keeps Ezra from being called a bastard all his life."

Adam stood up. "Just say he's my son and if anyone has any questions about it, they can ask me—if they've got the balls. Now I'm going to bed. Tomorrow I have to find a woman to come with me to fetch Ezra and to take care of him for a while. Hop Sing isn't a nursemaid and doesn't have the time anymore to care for an infant."

"Adam," Ben said, rising from his chair. "I'll have a room ready, a nursery, so to speak, when you return with the child. I think I'll enjoy buying the things a baby needs." Ben offered a weak smile.

"Well, don't buy baby bottles. I bought a whole dozen in Placerville." Adam headed for the stairs and just as he reached the newel post, Joe spoke up.

"What about Sylvia? When are you going to tell her?"

Adam paused. He had considered how Sylvia might take the news, Sylvia with her soft, dark hair and gray eyes. "I don't know."

And once Adam was gone, a sense of despair fell over Ben, Hoss and Joe.

"Think it's like the cuckoo, Pa?" Joe had asked. "Think we're going to be raising another man's child?"

"I can't think of that," Ben said. "I have to believe he's one of us. And you two had better change your thinking if you're seeing it in any other way. If we believe it enough then Adam may as well…I hope."

"I don't know," Joe said. "You know how Adam is. When he's got his mind set one way, it takes a lot to convince him otherwise."

Hoss sat musing before he spoke. "Wonder what it'll be like having a woman around, livin' here. I guess with both a woman and a baby around we'll have to watch our language, won't we?"

"Yeah," Joe said, "and you'll have to keep from dumping all the food on the table onto your plate. There'll be two more mouths to feed."

"Oh, yeah. Hadn't thought of that." Hoss looked troubled and both Joe and Ben laughed but long after Hoss and Joe had also left for bed, Ben Cartwright sat staring into the fire and smoking his pipe considering how life always managed to turn and bite a person in the ass. "And the chickens have come home to roost." Ben sighed.