Chapter 5

The door opened and Sylvia stood with the lamplight behind her like a celestial nimbus. Adam practically gasped at the suddenness of her beauty—so delicate—so tender—so fragile both in spirit and body.

"Adam!" Sylvia's face lit up with a smile. "How wonderful to see you? Come in," Sylvia stepped aside and Adam pulled off his hat and stepped inside. "When did you get back? Oh…I didn't mean that question to sound as if I was checking up to see how long it was before you visited me once you were home. I—oh, Adam it's just that I've missed you so."

Adam grinned. To see Sylvia flustered instead of him was a nice change as far as he was concerned. Usually he was the awkward one, the one who stepped over his own feet and whose tongue seemed to swell so much that he couldn't speak properly when faced with her beauty and her innocence. Sylvia was only a few years older than the girl, Fiona, who he had just hired, but the two women seemed years apart for some reason despite the fact that Sylvia was still pure and blooming with her youthful enthusiasm for life. Adam leaned over and gave Sylvia a soft kiss and she dipped her head slightly afterwards as if she was embarrassed. Then she raised her eyes and Adam felt his breathing step up at her naked expression of love toward him.

"Come sit down, Adam. Aunt Polly's in bed—hopefully asleep or she'll be down here chaperoning us still wearing her nightcap. Please, sit down." Sylvia took Adam's arm and led him to the settee and he couldn't look away from her. "She'll be beside herself when she finds I've entertained you alone." Sylvia laughed lightly.

Adam waited for Sylvia to sit on the settee first and then he followed suit.

"Oh, Adam how rude of me! May I offer you some coffee—perhaps some tea cookies. Aunt Polly bought some at the bakery just yesterday and they're quite delicate in flavor—just the perfect blend of vanilla and…" Sylvia began to rise but Adam took her hands and pulled her gently back down to the settee.

"Sylvia, please…I came to see you and that's all—that's enough for me. I don't care for any coffee or cookies—just your company—that's all I hunger for, all I thirst for." Adam examined her face. She was so lovely-like a rose that was on the verge of blooming. "I've missed you these past few days and thought about us-I have something important to discuss with you."

"Important? All right." Sylvia gently smiled and Adam still held her hands in his. He looked down at them, so small and pale and he rubbed his thumbs across the backs of them. He cherished these moments alone with her as there weren't that many; her Aunt Polly, or "Agus" as Adam called her in reference to the 100 eyed giant whom Hera set to watch over Io whom Zeus desired, watched them closely whenever he visited. But Adam had once whispered to Sylvia that not only was her Aunt Polly Argus, but she was also the gadfly—always stinging and causing discord. Sylvia had giggled at that and then she had slipped her arm through his as they walked into the church followed by Aunt Polly who stepped up her pace, not keeping a respectable distance now—after all, Adam and Sylvia were touching in the church and people would talk. Polly felt she had a duty to protect her niece from any gossip concerning her and the eldest Cartwright brother.

Adam cleared his throat; he wasn't sure how to broach the subject of Ezra with Sylvia. She was no naïve, young girl and although she was young, she had a sense of self, a certain self-respect that he admired and he was afraid that while he told her the story of Ezra and Ann and Tom Burns, while he tried to explain the situation, her face would change. He didn't know how he would react if the expression of love that was now lighting up her face would change to one of revulsion. Within a few seconds, his whole life would change—he knew that. What will you think of me, Sylvia? Will you detest me for my weaknesses? Oh, Sylvia...

When Adam Cartwright had first laid eyes on Miss Sylvia Matthews, it had been a little over a year ago and on a hot summer day. The sweat band on the inside of Adam's hat was soaked and his shirt was stuck to him with sweat. He had been to the bank to deposit a draft from the Sierra-Nevada Railroad Line as his father had requested, ordered more alfalfa, the best feed for young calves Pa, we ought to grow our own alfalfa. It's drought resistant and we have that acreage that was used at one time for growing potatoes… and as he was passing the confectionary shop, he glanced in and paused. A young woman was sitting at one of the small round tables in front of the large front window eating a rapidly melting dish of ice cream. Adam grinned at the look of disappointment on her face as she spooned up the white, creamy soup with one still-frozen island in the middle of a white sea. The young woman had a lovely, gentle profile and her dark hair was neatly piled up on her head. She wore a small straw boater with a bright red grosgrain ribbon around the crown. And as hot as it was, she wore a starched, high-necked, long-sleeved, white shirt with a small watch pinned to it.

Adam was so charmed watching her as she spooned the liquid ice cream to her mouth that he didn't even notice that an older woman sitting across from her had perceived his interest in the young beauty and that she must have said something because the lovely young woman turned and looked at him, her eyes wide and as gray as Lake Tahoe when a storm was brewing. Adam tipped his hat and she blushed and glanced down but then, she looked back up and smiled gently. And Adam was thoroughly enchanted.

The older woman stood up and frowned and Adam thought it best to move on but he wondered who the young woman was; he had never seen her before but now Virginia City was so big that there were many people he didn't know and there were now three churches—a Methodist, Presbyterian and a Baptist church and each had their exclusive members. Adam thought that he was going to have attend church that Sunday, something in which he had been slacking, to see if she was in attendance. If not, well, she was just another pretty girl and the world was full of them. And soon, she was out of mind as Adam went about his business.

But Adam hadn't had to wait until Sunday. Two nights later, Miss Sylvia Matthews and her Aunt Polly showed up for dinner at the Ponderosa in the company of Sheriff Roy Coffee. Ben had met Miss Polly Matthews, Sylvia's aunt, in Roy Coffee's office where she had burst in and heartily complained about young boys running sticks along her picket fence as they passed on the street.

"And they make the most horrible clacking noise!" Polly had said, her brows furrowed. "It causes the dog in the yard next door to bark something awful which, I'm sure, is why they do it. I know that they're damaging the fence—I've seen the small chips in the wood, and I have already paid a handy man to make all sorts of repairs to that house and I want it to look nice from the street. He's just put up that picket fence and painted it white and I've planted roses. These young ruffians just have to be stopped!"

"Miss Matthews, just calm yourself a bit." Roy turned to Ben who had been suppressing a smile at the woman's strident complaint. "Now, Ben Cartwright here," Roy had said motioning to Ben, "has raised three boys. He can tell you that boys love to make noise—all sorts of noise. Matter of fact, Ben. Miss Matthews here is a single lady—I met her when she first came to town-and she has a young, unmarried niece who's staying wither for a spell. Now if I had three unmarried sons, well, I'd invite the ladies over for dinner."

Ben had stammered a bit, not knowing what to say. He looked sternly at Roy who grinned back.

"Why how nice that would be," Mrs. Matthews said. "My niece hasn't met any young men yet and she's getting over a tragic engagement—her fiancé passed—very sad, very sad. And you have three sons, correct? All of marriageable age?"

"Well yes—three, but they are all seeing other ladies, I mean not really courting yet, but…I tell you what," Ben said, thinking of a way to turn the tables. "Roy here is a widower—his wife died years ago and I know he becomes lonely or so he's told me, so why doesn't he bring both you and your niece out to dinner tomorrow night? What do you say, Roy?"

"Now, Ben…I don't think that Miss Matthews would want my company. After all…"

"Why I'd be delighted," she said turning to Roy and giving him her most charming smile. Ben also smiled but with a sense of victory. He had just turned the tables on Roy.

"Well, I, um…all right. Tomorrow. I'll be there at 6:00 to fetch you…and your niece. Since Ben is a widower as well, wouldn't it be nice if both you and your niece found a Cartwright as a husband." And Roy had then grinned widely at Ben—he had delivered the last salvo. And when the plans had been settled and Miss Polly Matthews had left, Ben turned on Roy but Roy burst into laughter.

"You wait," Ben said, furious. "You're not the only one who can play Cupid!" Ben had stormed out of the sheriff's office to Roy's helpless laughter.

The night Sylvia was there for dinner, Adam had arrived late. He tried to make himself presentable as quickly as possible so that he could join them. He had eaten in town he had explained but had no dessert so he sat down and had coffee and pie with his family and their company. Adam was enchanted all over again. He found Sylvia delightful, witty and beautiful—and as the evening progressed and he engaged her in conversation, Sylvia became even more beautiful to him.

When Adam walked Roy Coffee, Miss Polly Matthews and Sylvia out to their buggy, Adam pulled Sylvia back a few steps so they would be alone. "Sylvia, could I come call on you some time?"

"I was hoping you'd ask." She was practically breathless. "Actually, and I know I shouldn't say this as it will make me seem too forward, ever since I saw you through the window of the Confectionary, I hoped I would see you again—and here we are. It's almost fate." She examined his face—his eyes, his mouth, the cleft in his chin—and concluded that he was dashingly handsome and exciting.

"I don't know about fate," Adam said, "but it is lucky-lucky for me." Sylvia had then slipped her arm through his and they continued on to the buggy where Adam helped Sylvia up. And as they drove away, Adam felt a small sense of loss—and the night seemed a shade darker.

Although Adam didn't need his family's encouragement to court Sylvia, they did. Joe, who had initially been interested in Sylvia himself, soon realized that she was a better match for Adam. "She talks about ideas too, just like you, Adam. She's too…what's that word? Oh, yeah, 'cerebral'," Joe had begrudgingly said at dinner the next night when Ben brought up how nice it had been to have women in the house upon occasion "I prefer action over ideas," Joe had added.

"Yeah," Hoss had said, "and we know what kind of action you mean. That Miss Sylvia, she's not that kind of girl."

Adam had grinned at Hoss' remark but every time he heard her name mentioned, when his brothers or his father said "Sylvia," he felt a thrill run through him. She was his secret delight and he never thought that he would be content to just sit on a porch swing and talk to a woman about his dreams and his ideas about the world and abstract concepts such as loyalty and love but he did—with her. And when he would kiss her goodnight, his heart would swell and he felt as if kissing Sylvia was as it should be, as if the yielding of her mouth to him, the compliance of her body against his as he held her was natural—she was the woman for him—he knew it in his blood and his bones.

And now Adam feared he might destroy all his chances at future happiness with Sylvia by confessing his weakness of not just his body, but of his character as well.