Chapter 9

Cassie didn't take to Fiona. "She's a bossy thing and thinks she knows all there is to raising children just because she wiped the snotty noses and cleaned the shitty bottoms of her younger brothers and sisters," Cassie told Adam as he sat and ate the dinner Cassie had fixed for them. She sat opposite him eating and nursing Ezra who greedily sucked. Fiona had eaten earlier with Mamie who had taken a liking to her. Then Cassie told Fiona to give Ezra a bath and dress him for the night. Ezra had complained mightily about the bath until Fiona showed him how to fill a cup with water and pour it out. So Ezra repeatedly did so, thinking himself clever as he laughed and splashed.

"She'll do fine," Adam said. He ate heartily of the chicken stew and dumplings; he was relieved to have something other than beans and bacon. "Ezra seems to take to her. Even Mamie likes her."

"Well, I s'pose. After all, he's not going to be my concern much longer, is he? I've come to love him though. He's a bright child, sharp of mind and eye and a loving child. He misses nothin' and already says a few words—well, close to the words 'though he mostly points and grunts. You'll need to watch your mouth around him," Cassie said pointing her fork at Adam. "You let fly some curse words and I guarantee you that Ezra will soon be cussing like a sailor who's had too much rum and fallen off a whore."

Adam chuckled. He was about to publicly take credit as the father of the boy to everyone in Virginia City, but then he wondered about himself. He was feeling proud of the child, proud of Ezra for his intelligence and quickness and the child more than likely wasn't even his—at least to his mind and the obvious facts. Then Adam wondered if Tom Burns had been intelligent. He had been quick enough to take advantage of the confused identities of himself and Adam but then any con man would do that even if they weren't very bright. Adam wondered how Tom would react to the knowledge of a child if he were alive and been informed by Ann. Would Tom have denied it? Accused Ann of being a cheap barmaid or would he have taken the child and raised him with his wife if they had remained together or would he have sought a divorce and married Ann? Adam wondered if he and Tom had more in common than just their outward appearance-and Ann.

Adam smiled at the noises Ezra made as he sucked away at Cassie's teat, patting her full breast with one hand. "Gluttonous little thing, isn't he?"

Cassie laughed and looked down at the child. "Hungry from the day he was born and growin' faster than a weed in cow dung. And beautiful as an angel." Cassie pushed back some of the dark curls from his face. Adam's being surged with pride—a good, strong, handsome son—he had fathered quite a boy.

After the heavy dinner Cassie had prepared, Adam sat at the table with the partially stacked dirty dishes and drank his coffee while Cassie put Mamie and Ezra to bed. Fiona was to sleep in the same room with Mamie and Cassie gave her an extra pillow from her own bed.

Fiona stood silently by while Cassie gave her advice and direction. "Mamie doesn't wet the bed much so she should stay dry but if I were you, I'd wake her up in the middle of the night and sit her on the pot. Just to be certain," Cassie warned Fiona, "and as for Ezra, well, sometimes he sleeps through the night and others he doesn't; I've yet to find a rhyme or reason to it." Cassie bent over Mamie who was already in bed and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, my little chicken," Cassie said to Mamie and then walked out and shut the door.

Mamie curled up under the covers. "Do you not say your prayers, child? You need to speak to the Lord through the Virgin Mary." Mamie just looked at her with sleepy eyes and she popped her thumb in her mouth. "Have you no learnin' in the ways of heaven?" Mamie just looked at Fiona. "Come, Mamie. Come kneel by me."

Fiona kneeled at the side of the bed and Mamie scrambled down to imitate her, being so small that her elbows couldn't rest on the mattress as Fiona's did. Fiona felt guilty for not having said her rosary that evening but knew that it would be too long for Mamie to endure. She remembered that as a child she could barely keep awake during the droning prayers her mother emotionlessly recited but as she grew, she began to love the ritualistic prayer more and more. Nevertheless, tonight it wouldn't do but Fiona sitll twined the rosary through her fingers before she clasped them in prayer.

Mamie looked up at Fiona. "Close your eyes, Mamie, and I'll say a prayer for all of us—for you and me and baby Ezra, your mother and Mr. Cartwright." Mamie squeezed her eyes shut while Fiona began in her still-girlish voice the short bedtime prayer her mother had taught her and her older brother, Darby, and which she had taught to her younger siblings:

"Watch, dear Lord, with those who wake or watch or weep tonight, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend your sick ones, O Lord Jesus Christ, rest your weary ones, bless your dyin' ones, soothe your sufferin' ones, shield your joyous ones, and all for your love's sake. Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen." Fiona waited a moment and then said, "Say 'amen', Mamie. That means the prayer is at an end."

Mamie, her eyes still pressed shut, said, "Amen." She then looked up at Fiona.

"Let's get to bed now." Fiona helped Mamie into the small bed but before Fiona tucked her in, she looked over at Mamie who held the rag doll Adam had brought her, in a tight embrace and had stuck her thumb in her rosy mouth again. "Do you need to use the pot, child?" Mamie shook her head and then Fiona pulled the covers up around them both and Mamie snuggled next to her and soon, both were asleep.

"Come to bed, Adam," Cassie said. She had walked into the kitchen to check the stove and to place the stacked dishes in the sink remarking that she would wash them in the morning.

"I'll sleep on the settee tonight, Cassie." He carried his cup and saucer to the dry sink and placed them on the other dishes.

"Why all of a sudden you're sleeping out there? Is it the girl? Don't tell me you're afraid what she'll think? What's she to you except someone to take care of Ezra?"

"No, it's not because of her although I'm pretty sure what she would think but I…well, there's someone back in Virginia City who I want to marry, who I love—I've made up my mind and we've talked about it. I don't think I could face her if I…"

"She's back in Virginia City, Adam—she'll never find out. Sides, we always have a nice time, don't we? And it's not like it wasn't just a few weeks ago that we had a time together." Cassie put her arms around Adam's neck as he stood at the sink and her full breasts flattened somewhat against his chest.

Adam reached up and held Cassie's arms for a moment and then gently moved them from around his neck. He sighed. "It doesn't matter that she would never know. I gave in to convenience and lust—you are a sweet one, Cassie, and most talented but I owe her something."

"But you ain't yet married. C'mon, Adam. Think about how much you enjoy it and I don't ask nothin' from you, do I?"

"No, Cassie you don't." Adam stepped away slightly. He was close to giving in to convenience and his atavistic urges.

"And you won't be comin' back after tomorrow. C'mon." Cassie smiled at him and Adam was sorely tempted. But then he thought again of Sylvia.

"You know what, I think I'll sleep in the wagon instead of the settee. Good night, Cassie." Adam kissed her on the forehead.

Cassie didn't know what to say as Adam walked out the door to the wagon that was parked in front of the house on the dirt road, so she said nothing and went to her bed alone. She punched the pillow before she lay her head on it. She had been looking forward to Adam's visit, had thought of it with anticipation as he always gave her a grand time but she had a feeling as soon as he had walked into the small house that day that something had radically changed. She had put it down to Fiona, that the girl made Adam feel guilty about his carnality but it wasn't Fiona; she was merely an employee to Adam; Cassie could see that clearly now. It had to be the woman in Virginia City and Cassie felt a surge of jealousy for a woman she had never seen and would never meet. Cassie wondered what that woman was like, if she was beautiful and genteel. Adam Cartwright would never be happy with a woman like that, Cassie thought. He needed a woman who enjoyed a good romp on the mattress, not some snooty society matron. She sighed as she tossed on the bed. He would be sorry and he'd miss her; she tried to comfort herself with that thought. One night he'd be laying with his wife, Cassie thought, and he'd think of her and regret this night that he passed up and chose instead to sleep outside in a wagon.

Adam made himself as comfortable as he could on the pallet on which Fiona usually slept. i What the hell am I doing here when I could be tussling with Cassie and burying my face between her breasts? Sylvia, I hope you know how much I love you that I'm sleeping alone in the bed of a wagon that smells a like a damn goat and is harder than the ground. /i He rolled over on his side and eventually fell asleep only to wake in the morning with a stiff back and a sore neck and Fiona calling out to him that breakfast was ready and it was time to get up