Chapter 28

As soon as Hoss walked in and saw his father and Joe sitting quietly, he knew that things were worse than he had thought they would be once he arrived. On the ride home from town, Hoss had been mulling over what would probably happen next. He knew that as soon as Adam felt up to it, he would take off after the men. Hoss had been with his older brother many times before when Adam had reverted to force bordering on violence to "make things right again." They had argued many times over putting things right as Hoss often felt that enough had been done but Adam always wanted to go one step further. He had told Hoss once that although he couldn't make the whole world right, he would try his damndest to make his corner of the world right; "We should cultivate our own garden, make our part of the world a wonderful place to live and if it takes breaking someone's arm to get the truth out of him to find justice, well, so be it." So Hoss worried as he put his horse away for the night. He did sigh in relief when he saw that all the other horses were safe in their stalls; it meant that Adam hadn't yet taken off.

Both Ben and Joe turned to the door when Hoss walked in. He saw their concerned faces. "What's wrong? It ain't Sylvia is it? She's all right, ain't she?"

"Yes, she's fine. Better than she looked to be when Adam brought her in," Ben said rising from the chair.

Hoss hung up his hat and unbuckled his gun belt. "Adam okay?"

"Um…yes…more or less, he's okay. Hopefully, he's asleep. Come in the kitchen, son. Hop Sing made you a plate. I'll fill you in on everything."

"Smells good," Hoss said, sniffing the air. "Ham or roast beef?"

"Both," Ben said. "And mashed potatoes, roasted turnips, green beans, corn on the cob, sour dough bread, buttermilk biscuits, rhubarb pie, cream cake and who knows what else. Hop Sing cooked all day. You know how he is when he's upset. And he is upset."

"Well, you eat, Hoss," Joe said, slapping his brother on the back. "I'm going to bed. I'm riding out with Roy and the posse early tomorrow.'

Sitting in the kitchen and eating, Hoss listened while Ben informed him of Sylvia's condition, of Fiona's revelation and that she had told Ben when he checked on her and Ezra after Adam had gone upstairs for the night, that Adam had told her she was to be gone the next day; Adam was throwing her out. She said that she understood why and that she didn't blame him; she had been wrong, horribly wrong and knew she could never expect to find his forgiveness. Nevertheless, Fiona had asked that she not have to face the Mister in the morning, that she be taken to town after he had left for the day or was out of the house. She couldn't bear to see his abhorrence for her again.

"Bad all around ain't it, Pa?" Hoss was now working on a huge slab of rhubarb pie.

"Yes, and, Hoss, I've already talked to Joe about this but would you and Joe see that Adam joins the posse, that he doesn't take out on his own? Those men who took Sylvia, Fiona's brother Darby and Judd, they aren't wanted dead or alive, they're just wanted. I'm afraid that if Adam finds them, well, it wouldn't do for him to become a wanted man himself."

"Pa, it ain't a question of if we would 'try' to get him to join the posse, it's if we 'can'. You know that Adam does what Adam wants—to hell with anyone else. But I'll try, Pa. You know, I talked to that Judd just the other day and talked with Adam—Judd was slackin', takin' time for a smoke while the others worked. Adam said to fire 'im but, well, you know how I always get to give someone another chance…"

"And another chance, and another chance…"

"I know, Pa. But sometimes men do change iffen they know their job is on the line. And that Darby, he kinda hung around with Judd. Well, Adam was going to toss their asses off the Ponderosa." Hoss turned his father. "But I'll talk to Adam. After all, he shouldn't take this so personal."

"Sylvia miscarried."

"What?"

"Apparently, from what Paul Martin explained, she was thrown over a saddle and he thinks that may have brought it about."

"Damn. You just made my job 'bout a hundred times harder."

Ben stood and placed a heavy hand on Hoss' shoulder. "Thank you, son. Sometimes I think that Adam's closer to you than anyone else—that you understand him better than even I do."

"Pa, I don't think anyone can understand 'im. He don't think the same way as anyone else. He sure don't think the same way as me."

"I suppose not—but he does think-and that's a plus. Well, it's been a long day. I'm off to bed. Finish eating, son. Hop Sing is depending on you to make a dent in all this food." In his best Hop Sing imitation, Bed said, "When Mistah Hoss come home? No one eat food. Someone need eat all this food!" Ben smiled and Hoss grinned as he continued to eat. "You've got your job cut out for you, Hoss."

"Adam?" Sylvia felt groggy but she was certain that the person moving around the dimly-lit room was Adam. She sat up but her head spun so that she had to lie back down.. "Adam, what are you doing?"

Shhhh," Adam said, coming to the side of the bed. He had pulled on fresh trousers and held a shirt in his hand. "Go back to sleep, sweetheart. Here, let me make you comfortable." He placed his shirt on the bed and lifting her with one arm, he arranged her pillows and gently lay her back down. "I'm just getting dressed; I have some matters to tend to and the sooner I start, the better."

"But it's still dark." Sylvia was uneasy but not clear-headed enough to understand why. She grasped Adam's wrist. "Please, won't you stay home today? Not for me, but for yourself. You look so tired."

Adam chose to ignore her request and instead, poured some water in the glass by the bed and measured a few grams of laudanum. "Here, Sylvia, drink this." He proffered the glass.

"No." She lightly pushed away his hand. "I'm not in that much pain anymore. I don't want to keep sleeping. I don't like the way that stuff makes me feel—as if I'm moving underwater and my head spins."

Adam sat down on the edge of the bed and slipped an arm under her. "Doctor's orders. He said to give you the laudanum through today. He'll be back and you don't want me to tell him what a bad patient you are, do you?"

"Adam don't talk to me as if I'm a child. I told you I don't want any. Please take it away." She pushed against his hand.

He placed the glass on the bedside table and pulled Sylvia against him, stroking her dark hair. "Don't make me worry about you more than I already do. Please, Sylvia. Just take this one dose this morning. I don't want the pain to creep back. I don't ever want to see you suffer like that again."

Sylvia listened to his heartbeat—steady and strong. She remembered how awful she had felt, the searing pains that were like knives slicing her open and the two men although their faces were vague in her memory. And then Adam and Hoss showing up and the ride back to the Ponderosa although it wasn't as terrible as the ride out to wherever the men had taken her. She remembered how Adam had been, calm and soft-spoken and yet there was an edge to his voice that made her wary..

"All right, Adam. I'll take the dose." She sat up and Adam handed her the glass. She held it tightly in her hand and quickly swallowed the bitter mixture and handed the glass back to Adam. She watched him as he replaced the glass and stood up. It was his face that puzzled her—it was like a mask. "What are you going to do, Adam?"

"I told you—I just have to take care of some business." He tucked the coverlet up around her and then slipped on his shirt and buttoned it. "Now you go to sleep. Fiona is leaving today and Hop Sing and Pa will be taking care of Ezra until you're well. Go to sleep—you'll need all your strength just to keep up with him; seems all he does is run." Adam smiled but Sylvia noticed that it was only with his mouth; his eyes were determined.

"Adam." Sylvia felt a heaviness come over her limbs as the laudanum worked its magic. "You haven't said anything about…our loss. I was with child. I didn't know, it was so early. I'm sorry."

He looked down at her. She was pale and thin, her lips almost bloodless. Adam was afraid to speak, afraid his voice would betray his calm exterior. "It's not your fault—there's no reason to apologize for anything. I have to go." He kissed her cool forehead and left, closing the door behind him.

Sylvia pushed the covers off and stood on shaky legs. The wadding that was in place to soak up blood made it difficult for her to walk but she held onto the furniture until she reached the door and opened it. Then, she leaned against the wall while the world spun. Hoss. I have to get to Hoss. I have to tell him. She leaned against Hoss' door and banged weakly. She waited and things began to go dark behind her eyes. She raised her fist and banged again and then slid down against the door to the floor. She felt as if the world gave way and then she head Hoss' voice and felt herself being lifted and placed on the bed.

"Sylvia? What is it?"

Sylvia struggled to open her eyes. "Adam. He's going. Stop him."

Hoss patted her face lightly. "Sylvia, you need a doctor?"

"Took…laudanum." And Sylvia dropped off into a drug-induced sleep.

Hoss pulled the blankets up over her and then dressed. He paused at the door to his bed room trying to decide if he should wake up his father and brother but he decided against it. Adam wouldn't listen to anyone, not even him but there was a better chance that Adam could be kept under control by him alone than by all of them. Hoss headed down to the stairs and just as he opened the front door, he heard the sound of a horse leaving, heard a trot that then broke into a canter.

"Damn fool," Hoss muttered. Adam knew not to ride that fast in the dark. He hurried to the barn and quickly saddled up Chubb who behaved nervously. He kept tossing his head while Hoss struggled to get the bit in his mouth. "Dang you, Chubb. I know it's early and you're still tired from yesterday but we gotta go." Hoss remembered the jug of molasses that they kept in the barn to mix in the feed for a horse off its food and he retrieved it. "So you want to be bribed, huh? Okay then." Hoss poured some of the slow, thick liquid on the bit and then tried again and this time Chubb took it quickly and mouthed it to taste the molasses. "Dang horse. Guess you like a little sweetnin' in the mornin' too."

And soon Hoss was off in the direction that Adam had ridden, hoping that he could soon overtake him even though he was hesitant to ride as quickly until the sun came up. "Watch your step, Chubb. Watch your step."