Finnick gets up abruptly and leaves the room. I hesitate for a moment but then decide to go after him. He almost aimlessly walks through the corridors and then leans against the wall, drawing in sharp, ragged breaths and clutching his chest. I stop a few feet away from him and say his name to let him know I'm here, only stepping closer when he looks over at me. He slides down the wall into a sitting position, eyes wide, darting left and right as if he's expecting an attack. I move slightly closer, empty hands infront of me as if approaching a wounded animal.

"Finnick, I'm here,"I say calmly,"You can get through this. Can you tell me what you need?"

He shakes his head, wheezing."I – I can't – I can't breathe."

I crouch down so I am at his eyelevel."Breathe with me, okay? Finnick, you can do this. Just breathe with me. In. Hold it. Out."

I guide him through the exercise a few times, hoping deep breathing is actually going to help him. But until he's calm enough to tell me what he needs, I have to keep him from hyperventilating.

"Keep breathing. Is it okay if I touch you?"

He only gives a jerky nod in response, but it's something atleast. I rest one hand against his chest, palm flat, right over his heart, and lay the other on his shoulder. His heart is racing. I draw light circles with my thumbs in an attempt to soothe him."You're doing great. You can get through this. I'm here, Finnick."

His breathing is slowly evening out and the panic in his eyes is subsiding, but it still takes several minutes for it all to be over. Then he closes his eyes and leans back against the wall. When I move my hand away he grabs my wrist and gently tugs on it. I understand and settle down on the floor next to him.

"I always did what they wanted,"he says, his voice croaky."They had Haymitch to lord over us younger Victors. I wanted to keep my family safe. I only told them no once and Annie got reaped. I always did what they told me and now -"

He breaks of with a shuddering sob and soon dissolves into tears. I lean against him, brush my fingers through his hair. In turn, Finnick wraps his arms around me and holds me against him, pulling me as close as possible. He's squeezing me too tightly, like a child with a stuffed toy, but I don't complain.

That's how Johanna finds us. Me in Finnick's lap while he cries into my hair. She slumps down next to us, sitting there quietly until Finnick's sobs slowly come to a halt. Then she reaches out and fumbles with Wiress's pin in my hair, activating it, before she gently places a hand on his arm."Finn, you need to let go of our little mockingjay now, okay? I know it's hard but you can't afford to grieve right now. Amphitrite knew this might happen. You have to keep it in right now."

"I know,"he says, his voice slightly hoarse, and lets go of me."I know, Jo."

I gently wipe the last of his tears from his face."We'll make 'em pay, yeah?"

"Course we will, Prim,"Finnick replies, steely determination taking over his features."Every last one of them."

With that, all three of us get to our feet. I go back to the mentor room alone, Finnick knowing he has to face the cameras and Johanna going of to god knows where, only pausing to deactivate my pin for me again. Effie, Haymitch, and Terra are the only ones left in the mentor room when I return. I plop down on the sofa next to Effie and start talking without preamble,"Will they manange the plan still? You know, to take out the Careers. Is Curie up for that?"

I can't help but feel heartless at asking so bluntly, but it's their only chance to all get out and I have to know. If there is even still a chance to get back Katniss and Madge, and those other girls too. Haymitch shrugs."I think so. But if not, they're pretty screwed. They can't meet them in a proper fight, now even less than before."

"Two Careers died,"I remind him, even though I know this isn't really about the Careers. Terra gives me a sad smile."And two of ours. The little Three is useless in a fight, Nine is injured and so's Madge. Leaves us with Katniss and Liv. Pissed, grieving Liv. You should have seen her after Clove. She almost beat a girl to death in the academy. Took three people to get her off of her. So, she's ready to flip but in terms of strategy that makes things worse."

"So either Curie manages this or we're royally screwed?"I ask. All I get in return is three nods. I sigh, knowing there is nothing I can do, and instead focusing on what we can do. I turn my attention to the screen, where the girls are tending to their various injuries."You send them new medical supplies yet?"

"Of course we did, dear,"Effie says gently."None of them is too badly injured, really. The worst is Madge's shoulder and Olive'll sort that."

That worst, I think, is the obvious state of shock Curie is in and the pain in Olive's eyes, but I don't bring that up.

)o(

christmas approaching + retail work = short updates