Tiny Smiles

Chapter Three

Ororo blew out a heavy breath. She looked at her alarm clock, 5:45. There would be no point in lying in bed for another fifteen minutes until the alarm sounded; she'd already had a restless night of tossing and turning. Sitting up in her bed she ran her hands roughly over the almost flawless skin of her face; she knew it was going to be a rough day. It was every year. She contemplated staying home but knew she couldn't. Too many people were depending on her.

After a long hot shower she went through the motions of her morning routine: a cup of black coffee, a bowl of cereal, brushing of teeth, doing of hair and finally applying lotion and clothes to her body. And even though she didn't feel like it, she made her face as pretty as she could despite its flaw. Usually she wore lipstick but today she decided to wear lip gloss. It reminded her of him and of her…her daughter, Sadie.

Ororo blew out a slow breath in an effort to keep her emotions in check. Today would be her daughter's Sweet Sixteen. She'd be a woman soon and Ororo had missed her whole life except for twelve hours. Twelve hours to nurse her child, to hold her and name her. In those twelve hours she loved her more than anything else in this world. She still did. She missed her but it was too late…too late to insert her fucked up self into Sadie's perfect life.

She'd seen her little girl's pictures on her MyFace account. In each picture Sadie LeBeau smiled brightly, laughed with friends, and made pouty faces into the camera. She was beautiful. Too perfect and beautiful to have to know of what a mess her mother used to be. So Ororo admired and loved her from afar through social media and memories of those twelve short hours before she'd been taken away.

Remy walked through the school halls one by one surreptitiously searching for the only person he ever looked forward to seeing. It had been days…almost a solid week since he'd last laid eyes on Reine. He'd driven, multiple times, by her house and the store where she said she worked and hadn't even caught a glimpse. Every day ended with him thinking not seeing her was for the best. Then he'd wake the next day with hopes of seeing her and wondering where she could be. But not knowing was beginning to irk him and he'd started to take his ire out on others. Scott, the most self-absorbed person other than his father, had even asked him what was wrong. Apparently he was being a bigger prick than usual.

On more than one occasion he was tempted to ask Jean about Reine's whereabouts but resisted. He'd sound just as pathetic as she did that day in the library when she begged him to have Scott talk to her. He wasn't pathetic and he had his pride. He had to remember Reine was just another female; one of many that had and would pass through his life. Nevertheless, he wondered if she was safe.

Reine sat alone on the front steps of her home. The only home she'd ever known and tomorrow she would be leaving it. Leaving everything she knew…the city she'd grown up in and the school that she'd come to love. All because the only person that ever loved her was now gone.

Reine wiped at the tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. Her grandmother's body was too old and tired to fight against the attack that stopped her heart. Even though she was told there was nothing she could have done she still wished she were a lighter sleeper. Maybe she would have heard something so she could have at least been by her grandmother's side when her soul left this earth.

Reine stifled the sob threatening to escape her throat. She didn't want anyone to hear her cry. If one more person asked her how she was doing she thought she'd scream. And as if on cue Mrs. Johnson walked out of her house, down her walkway and into her gate. "Reine, baby, how are you?"

Reine sighed. "I'm fine, Mrs. Johnson."

"Well you know your grandmother loved you." Reine nodded. "But you know I'm going to miss you but you'll be fine with your aunty." Mrs. Johnson bent down and hugged Reine's head to her bosom. "Make sure you come back to see me now."

After Reine nodded Mrs. Johnson let her go and went inside with the twenty or so other neighbors and family that had shown up with their casseroles and baked goods. Reine just wanted to be alone, away from them and their memories and laughter. She wanted to be sad. She wanted to miss her grandmother without everyone trying to make her feel better. She didn't want to feel better.

She wished she could be with Remy and just…be. He would allow her that. And as if her thought conjured him his silver car appeared in front of her house. Fresh tears sprung to her eyes as she leapt out of her chair and ran down the few steps, down the path and to his car. She slid in and told him to drive. He didn't ask her what was wrong or where she wanted to go. He only did as he was told.

Remy gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles whitened and worked hard to keep his temper in check. Her heart wrenching sobs angered him and he'd never felt that way before. His responding emotions caught him by surprise but he welcomed it. Whoever it was that had dared to make her cry was going to pay. After several minutes of driving and listening to her cry into her hands he couldn't take any more. He decided on a destination and was there within another few minutes. When he finally stopped the car and killed the engine he turned to her and grabbed her shoulders turning her towards him. "Reine! What's happened? Who's hurt you, ma cherie?" She shook her head but the tears still didn't stop. Remy pulled her to him wrapping his arms around her. "Shh…" he said over and over again trying to quiet her. "Reine, please…I can't help you if you don't stop crying."

Reine pushed him away and lifted her palms to her eyes, as she took deep cleansing breaths. Between clipped sobs she spoke, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…"

"Reine, why are you crying? Tell me who's hurt you?" he asked happy that she was finally talking.

"No one. No one at all. My granny," she said and had to stop when another sob choked her words. "My granny's gone. She passed away."

Remy sat back in his seat and stared at her. All of his fight was gone. He wanted to protect her but how was he supposed to protect her from death? "I'm sorry. He said what he thought he was supposed to say. Then focused on replacing the barricade around himself that he'd let her tears momentarily breach.

Another five minutes passed before Reine spoke again, "I'm sorry," she laughed and sniffled at the same time. "I didn't mean to…" She really didn't. She hadn't cried with such abandon since she couldn't wake her grandmother the morning she found her in bed.

He cut her off. "It's okay."

She sighed. "I'm moving tomorrow."

"Oh," Remy said silently cursing her ability to affect him. Her words seemed to jerk his emotions around with whiplash speed. "To New York with your mother?" He made sure to keep his tone even; no disappointment was evident in his question even though it churned in the pit of his stomach.

"No… Alabama with my aunty. My momma didn't even come down for the funeral. Said it was too short of notice." Reine scoffed. "Like death gives a notice."

Remy nodded. He understood. People aren't dependable that's why he didn't depend on them. If you're of no use to them then they don't go out of their way for you. In this case Reine's grandmother was no use to anyone, not anymore. Now she was just a memory. And soon for him, Reine too.

"So…this is it," she said in a matter-of-fact tone, all traces of tears gone. Gone was the sobbing mess and in its place was seriousness he'd never seen marring her exquisite face. Even though he thought the sudden change in her demeanor was odd he was glad. He wasn't comfortable with her vulnerability.

"I like you, Remy," she said. He nodded his acknowledgement and waited. "And I'm going to miss you."

His brows furrowed as he contemplated a possible response. "I…I like you too," he admitted to her and to himself. He liked her company, her shy sweetness, and the way her dimples emerged even when she tried to hide her smile. Most of all he loved the taste of her lips and he'd be damned if he didn't admit that he thought of her more than he should. But he needed to focus on his idiocentricity…he'd lived eighteen years without her and had only had her acquaintance for barely a month. He wouldn't even remember her in another eighteen years he reasoned. With each rational thought he repaired the mortar of his wall she'd managed to chip loose. After tonight she would no longer be a thought.

"I should take you back," he said training his eyes forward as he reached to turn the ignition.

"I don't want to go back. Not now. Not until I have to." She watched Remy's fingers linger near the keys for a few seconds before he dropped his hand to his leg. "We're at the meadow," she stated finally taking in her surroundings. "Can you lower the top, please?" she asked already looking out her side window trying to take in the night sky.

Once the buzz of the receding top finally stopped, songs of the night creatures and Reine's awestruck sighs were the only sounds for miles.

"It's beautiful out here," Reine said up into the blanket of twinkling stars before turning to Remy. "Thank you for bringing me here."

Remy wanted to tell her it was because he knew she liked the spot. And that was precisely why he hadn't brought her back since the night of Scott's party. It was the place he normally brought girls he planned on having his wicked way with. However Reine had managed to change his intent. Even though he'd brought other girls to this spot since, he always thought of Reine when he was here. The way her face lit up when she gazed at the night sky. The other girls had never noticed. They were only interested in getting undressed or trying to impress him in some other physical way.

"Remy?" Reine said tearing him away from his thoughts. "I know you don't…we don't do this…but will you please just…hold me?"

He paused a brief moment contemplating if it was a good idea. He already had strong feelings for this girl. Feelings he wished he didn't. And holding her against him was something he knew would further destruct the wall he'd built around himself. And even though his brain was screaming at him not to he opened his arms inviting her into them. He watched as she slid towards him, careful not to hit the gearshift fixed to the floor. His body stiffened with anxiety as he felt her body relax against him. He'd never held anyone like this, so intimately, before. He forced himself to relax and wrapped his arms around her and for the first time he felt a sense of unadulterated peace…a sense of not just being wanted but needed.

Remy kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tightly when he felt the wetness of her silent tears soak through the fabric of his shirt and warm his skin. Damn…her tears would do him in. "Reine, look at me." He waited until her watery blue eyes had focused on his before realizing he didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to make her feel better. He could tell her everything would be fine but he didn't know that for sure. So instead he lifted her chin and kissed her, pouring everything into the kiss that he thought she needed. Everything he thought he needed. Tonight would be the last time he'd taste her delectable lips and he wanted to remember how they felt.

Remy reluctantly broke the kiss. Her soft mewls and subtle movements in his lap combined with such a passionate kiss had stirred an urge in him he struggled to keep at bay when he was with her. She knew what she'd done to him. Her eyes asked a question she'd never verbally utter. The request was perfectly clear when she wiggled her hips against him. "Please don't. You're not ready for this," he said gripping her waist to still her motion. "You don't know what you're doing."

"Yes I am and Yes I do," Reine said. Then for the first time of their many times together she tentatively initiated a kiss.

One of Remy's hands lowered to her hip squeezing it as he fought against his body's reaction to her. A bout he wouldn't win if she didn't stop. He turned his head away. "Reine, I won't stop you again," he warned.

Reine looked away from him and up at the night sky. This was her last night in New Orleans. The last night of existence as she knew it. The last thing she had left of value was her time with Remy. If he wanted to accept it or not he provided her with what she knew would be the last vestiges of happiness. She didn't know if she'd ever feel it again so she'd take all she could in the last hours of her time with him.

In a series of deliberate moves she sat straddle him, sandwiched between his hard body and the steering wheel. Her hands on either side of his face, she found his lips with hers in a searing kiss that stole his breath. No, there'd be no turning back.

Someone was downstairs but Remy didn't bother with an inquiry. He had to finish packing. He'd be leaving for San Diego in a few days. For the first time in a long while happiness was more than just a surface emotion. He was actually excited to be leaving home. He'd chosen to attend San Diego State University, much to his father's dismay, but it was near his brother who resided not too far away in La Jolla with his boyfriend. From the pictures Claude had sent San Diego was beautiful and Remy looked forward to a fresh start.

The thoughts had caused a slight smile to grace his face, which was instantly wiped away when he heard the bellowing of his father calling his name. "What the fuck?" Remy mumbled. He knew whatever it was his father had to bark about was trivial trite thought up solely to agitate him in his last days under the LeBeau roof. He contemplated ignoring him but another call this time louder and saturated with rage piqued his curiosity.

Remy dropped the t-shirt he'd been holding and walked out of his room and stood at the top of the stairs. Jean-Luc stood at the bottom in the foyer, his face red and his jowls trembling. Something had happened and whatever it was by the look in his father's eyes it wasn't good. Remy began his descent down the stairs never breaking eye contact with his father. With each step he searched his memory for what he could have possibly done to upset his the old man so.

Almost to the bottom of the steps he saw his mother. She was peering out the lace curtain of the front door window. Remy found it curious but she often did curious things with no real explanation. Then he noticed the other person in the room, an African-American woman. Remy's brows creased. His father usually didn't have any guests of color, especially ones that entered through the front door. The woman looked Remy up and down and pursed her lips. The look on her face was one of disdain and judgment. He didn't know this woman and felt no way about her but she obviously had a strong opinion of him.

"Remy," Jean-Luc said. "Do you know this woman?"

Before Remy could answer the woman sneered at his father. "Naw, he don't know me. I already told you that. But he know who my niece is," she said and looked back at Remy. Her lips twisted when she saw the confused look on his face. "Ororo...Ororo Merriwether." Remy slowly began to shake his head not recognizing the name.

Jean-Luc visually relaxed. "Mrs. Sinclair, I told you. Your niece must be mistaken."

She ignored him, her eyes still trained on Remy. "Damn, how many black girls you been screwing?"

Remy's heart began to pound wildly in his chest. There'd been only one. But that was a long time ago…months. "Reine…" he said mostly to himself as he remembered her after forcing himself to forget her and their time together.

"Oh yeah, Reine, that's my niece. See," she said to Jean-Luc "we do have some matters to discuss."

Jean-Luc's face fell. "Damn it, Remy! What have you done? This woman," Jean-Luc's voice shook with barely subdued anger "says you got her niece pregnant. I told her she must be mistaken." The last statement sounded like a threat to Remy's ears.

"Pregnant?" Remy's head began to spin as the heaviness of the word and it's meaning began to absorb. He gripped the banister to keep his balance. "Is she okay?" he asked ignoring his father.

"No, she ain't okay," Mrs. Sinclair snapped. "The girl almost died. Doctor said she probably won't be able to have no more babies. That's a good thing, I guess. But like I said," she switched her attention back to Jean-Luc, "there's a hospital bill to pay for. Gas money for me having to drive over here and back from Alabama and reimbursement for the stuff I had to buy."

Remy felt lightheaded. Reine had almost died in childbirth and if she had it would have been his fault. Guilt began to overwhelm him. He knew he should have left her alone but once again his selfishness had taken over. He knew she wasn't ready. That she deserved someone so much better than him…someone who she loved and someone capable of loving her back.

Mrs. Sinclair walked past him and his father. His mother, who'd been all but forgotten, moved out of her way as she opened and exited the front door. Soft frail cries lofted through the open doorway. In seconds she stood in the entry with a tiny pink swaddled bundle and handed it to Mrs. LeBeau.

His mother's face contorted with awe as she peered down into the pink blanket she cradled. "Remy," she said never looking up, "she looks so much like you did."

"Shut up, Martha!" Jean-Luc shouted. A startled cry from the infant filled the room after the outburst. He turned and faced Mrs. Sinclair. "Look here, girl! It's obvious you're after money but you won't get it here! You take that thing," he said pointing at the wailing child, "and get the hell out of my house.

Mrs. Sinclair lifted her chin. "I ain't going anywhere without my money. I know who you are, Mr. LeBeau. And I know the LeBeau name and family history as being big shit…from your granddaddy's plantations to your daddy's support of segregation ways as mayor. I got a lot of friends, they know a lot of people, and imagine if word got back to your fancy white friends that you got a half black grandbaby."

Jean-Luc's face trembled with fury. "There's no proof that my son fathered your slut niece's bastard child."

Remy had been staring dumbfound at the now settling bundle in his mother's arms until his father's demoralizing words against Reine and the baby broke his revelry. "It's mine."

Jean-Luc's anger turned on him. "You don't know!"

"I do. It's mine," Remy reaffirmed.

"I want a hundred-thousand," Mrs. Sinclair blurted upon Remy's confirmation. Excitement raised her previously composed tone.

Jean-Luc huffed. He didn't know whom to address first, Mrs. Sinclair and her preposterous demand or Remy with his equally preposterous admission. He could deal with Remy later. Mrs. Sinclair wanted money now. "You won't get a red cent out of me. Take that baby and get the hell out of here."

"Fine, I can take the baby and have it tested. I'll send you the proof and you better believe it's going to cost you more than a hundred grand to keep my mouth shut. Or I can leave it here, take the money and you'll never hear from me again." She waited a moment for Jean-Luc to respond when he didn't she walked to Mrs. LeBeau and began to pull the baby from her arms.

"Wait a minute," Jean-Luc said as he pulled a long, thin leather booklet from his inside coat pocket along with a pen. Remy could have sworn he saw Reine's aunt's whole body relax in relief. She didn't want to take the baby with her just as much as his father didn't want her to leave it. Jean-Luc turned and placed the checkbook on the side marble table and began scribbling in angry hard strokes. This she-devil had him over a barrel and he couldn't take any chances. He tore the check out and shoved it towards Mrs. Sinclair. "Don't darken my doorsteps again," he hissed.

Jean-Luc's words didn't faze her. She took the check and looked at it and smiled a satisfied grin at what she read. "I'll send you the birth certificate when it comes in the mail," she said as she made her way to the door.

"Where is she?" Remy asked as he walked towards Reine's aunt before she could exit. "Where is Reine?"

She shrugged. "Somewhere between Alabama and New York. She can't live with me bringing babies into my house. I have my own kids to worry about. Her momma can deal with that." Then she was gone. Remy took his mother's previous spot peering out of the lace curtain. He watched as Mrs. Sinclair grabbed the carrier his daughter had been in and walked briskly to her car. He noticed a bit of a skip in her step…a hundred thousand dollar skip.

The three stood in awkward silence. Mrs. LeBeau, who seemed oblivious to what had just occurred, kept her focus trained on the baby, rocking her gently. Remy stared down at the polished wood floor as the information began to sink in that he'd gotten Reine pregnant and he was a father. Mr. LeBeau, looked tight face and sickened reeling over the events of the last ten minutes. He turned and looked at his wife, "We'll get rid of it."

Mrs. LeBeau's head snapped up. Her eyes stretched in indignation. She looked as if she was going to speak but instead she looked back down at the child and let out a defeated sigh. Remy knew the look on his mother's face. The look she always gave when she surrendered to his father's demands.

He strolled over to her, "She's mine. Give her to me."

"You heard your father."

"I heard him," he snapped at her. Disgust evident in his voice. She'd never stood up to Jean-Luc for her own children. He knew damn well she wouldn't for his. He took the fragile parcel from her. He'd never held a baby before but he mimicked the way he saw the two ladies hold her. He turned his back to his mother as he removed the thin receiving blanket away from the baby's head and looked down into the sweetest face he'd ever seen. The tension in his jaw relented. His eyes softened as vulnerability unexpectedly overtook his body. This tiny soul was brand new. He didn't know anything about babies but he knew this one was just born. And even in her brand new features he saw himself and Reine. Soft locs, shades lighter than his dark auburn hair, covered her head and alert blue eyes that rivaled only those of her mother's. "I'm changing my flight. I'm leaving tonight and I'm taking her with me."

"You'll do no such thing, boy!" Jean-Luc barked. "I'll tell you what you're going to do. You're going give it up and not tell a soul about it."

"No," Remy said through gritted teeth.

Jean-Luc looked at him with surprise evident on his face. No one defied him in his own house. "One son being an embarrassment is enough. I won't let you blemish our name too."

"This is my child," conviction radiated from Remy's voice.

"You don't know whose child that is. That colored girl probably doesn't know who the child's father is. You were just the best one to blame and she's a hundred thousand dollars fucking richer for it!"

Remy shook his head. "I won't defend her to you." Remy's voice was becoming just as elevated as his father's and the baby in his arms let it be known that she didn't like it. Jean-Luc's voice became white noise as Remy focused on the tiny face in front of him, shushing her gently. In all of the chaos he managed a smile when his daughter calmed.

"If you leave, don't come back," he heard his father say.

"I never intended to."