Standing in front of the apartment's door, she hesitated. It was useless hesitation. She had to, or she would spend the night on the streets.

So Amy knocked.

A tense minute later, a gruff voice answered through the wood. "Who is it?"

She hesitated again. There was hostility in his voice. Not unusual these days, and even less considering it was well past curfew. "It's Amy. I'm a friend of Daniella."

Inside, there was a gasp, a hushed conversation. She thought she heard her name once or twice, but didn't strain her ears. Then Daniella opened the door and gasped loudly. She didn't blame her, she probably looked awful, wet as she was. Her hands flew to her mouth. "Amy! What happened?"

She wasn't sure of how to answer her schoolmate. She didn't remember most of it, and telling her she'd become a monster… was not a good idea. She shrugged helplessly, trying to avoid the subject and not looking anyone in the eyes. "There was… trouble at home." An understatement, but also the truth. "I needed some space and… and some place to stay for tonight. I thought…" She trailed off. The truth was she hadn't had time for friends ever since she gained her powers. She knew she had pushed people away to make more time to help people, at least. So suddenly appearing and asking for someplace to sleep? Maybe she hadn't been thinking after all.

The last time she'd been to Daniella's house had been over a year ago. The taller girl was friends with both herself and her sister and well as her cousin. No doubt because she was one of the most warm human beings Amy knew, always ready to help and support others. That was why she'd jumped to the forefront of her mind when shelter had become a question.

True to her nature, Daniella was not having any of her hesitations. People clung together in the aftermath of Leviathan, and while some closed themselves off, others opened their doors to others. She reached for Amy's hands. "Of course you can! We-"

Daniella Sabin - skin muscle fat bones conne

As soon as she made skin contact, the freckled girl flinched violently and pulled away. Daniella stared for a second, alarm on her features. She turned back to her father. "We still have space, don't we?"

The older man nodded, leaning against the doorframe with his eyes on Amy. "On the floor, or in your room. She can always take the couch."

Daniella flashed a smile a Amy and waved her in. Amy herself hesitated and reassured the father. "Thank you Mr. Sabin. It's just for tonight, I promise."

"Don't worry about it." He dismissed her worries. "We couldn't just let you stay out there."

Daniella led Amy in, introducing her to her relatives. The apartment was crowded. Her uncle and his family were staying there too, she explained, since the waves had completely smashed their house. She chattered, trying to make conversation. Amy tried to evade the questions about her family and herself. There had been nothing good on her front lately.

Fortunately, Daniella's mother sensed how uncomfortable the attempt at a conversation was being for both of them and intervened. "Are you hungry dear? I can prepare something while you get out of those clothes, you must be freezing."

Amy wasn't. Not hungry, not cold, not tired. That had been the thing that broke her out of her panic, realizing she wasn't getting tired. She was stuck into a neutral state of being she couldn't put in words. Like her memory, the sensation of temperature was more academical than anything, and she didn't feel any hunger or thirst. Her muscles didn't feel tired, and didn't start hurting with the exertion either. Running for so long had hurt her feet but as soon as she stopped, she'd focused on the cells without thinking and what little damage they had was healed. The whole thing was so fast it could be called unconscious, involuntary, but Amy remembered everything she did now.

"I don't want to impose any more than I'm already…" It seemed weak even to her own ears. And it would be suspicious if she didn't eat or change her clothes.

Ms. Sabin waved her concerns off. "Nonsense. Go change, I'll have something for you in a minute."

"Then, thank you."

She was shown where the bathroom was and Daniella helpfully informed her that power wasn't a concern ever since the weekend, so she could have her things dry by the heater. Alone once again, Amy wondered if a roof over her head was worth dealing with all the people. She could tell they thought something bad had happened to her. Not that they were wrong, but it certainly wasn't whatever they were thinking. Not from what…

goodbye love

Amy shook her head. Not going there. Not again.

Some clothes in the duffel bag were wet from when it had been on the water, but nothing much. The memory card was safe, although she couldn't remember whatever was in there. She'd have to find a computer to check it out. The scrapbook however, was a loss, barely anything legible in it. She leafed through it, knowing that just looking at each page would engrave it in her memory. She would think about it later. The clothes she was wearing weren't damaged enough she had to get rid of them, so she hung them out to dry.

Five minutes after Daniella had left her, Amy returned to the kitchen, looking more like herself. There was a full plate with rice, meat and vegetables laid out for her. Touched by the gesture, even if misguided, Amy managed a smile and sat down. Only when she took the first bite did she realize something very important, and very inconvenient.

She could feel her body, and that included everything inside her body. The feeling of organic matter not part of her sliding down her throat was… very weird, creepy. Disturbing was a good descriptor.

She couldn't stop now though, not without worrying both Daniella, her mother and her aunt, the three of them surreptitiously watching her. Or worse, offending them. Instead, she started eating faster, wolfing down the food. The sooner she could finish eating, the sooner she could think of other things beyond the very uncomfortable feeling.

It seemed to mollify their worries, so she counted it as a victory. Besides, the whole atmosphere was lighter in the overcrowded apartment, in contrast to the stifling feeling of her own home for the past month. It felt better. So of course it didn't last long.

"Do you want to call your house?" Risked Ms Sabin. "Let them know you're here?"

The fork stopped on the way to her mouth, Amy's body locking. No movements. She even stopped breathing. Fear paralyzed her.

Carol? it's me

"No." She forced the words out past her throat. "There's no need."

There was silence for the rest of the meal.

"You could stay in my room, the bed's big enough." Offered Daniella.

Amy shook her head. "No. I'll take the floor." She had insisted and gotten some blankets and a cover, and it was enough. She doubted a hard floor would bother her much now. They said their goodnights, prepared the couches and mattresses for those without their own beds and turned off the lights.

Amy settled in to sleep, curling into the blankets more for comfort than any need of warmth. She steadied her breathing, closed her eyes and tried to think of nothing.

Five minutes passed…
Fifteen minutes passed…
Thirty minutes passed...

She opened her eyes, feeling like another part of her humanity had been stomped on and killed. Messily.

She couldn't sleep.

She couldn't worry to exhaustion, something that had become the norm after the pressure had started to pile up. She didn't get tired. She couldn't think about nothing and drift off. She was always feeling her body in minute detail. She couldn't even force herself to sleep using her power. Her mind 'awoke' her the very instant she succeeded.

At least she'd be free from nightmares, she tried telling herself. She spent some time digesting the fact that she couldn't sleep, and more time thinking about how she felt about that. There was some fear, about what was happening to her, some horror too, but it was detached. There was… acceptance. She was a monster and now her body was fitting into that image too. In the dead of night, without people around her, it was easier to accept that reality. When she wasn't alone…

family
hurt
fear

When she wasn't alone she felt the people around her, their bodies

Daniella Sabin - epithelial tissues connective tissues muscular tissues nervous tis

She broke off that chain of thought with the ease born of long practice and elected instead to think of what the inability of sleep meant for her future. Amy knew some capes didn't sleep, such as Miss Militia. How did they cope with all the extra time? She suddenly had several hours until sunrise, even more until somebody woke up.

"Damn it." She whispered. She was tempted to ask herself what she had done to deserve it, but the possibility of getting an answer scared her too much. She couldn't afford to dwell on memories because none of them would distract her enough. Not the good ones at least. It said something about her that most of her actual memories weren't good.

In the end, it all came back to her power.

No matter what, she was feeling her body. It was constantly in her mind's eye, more than just a wireframe or three-dimensional model, but a complete map and knowledge of her body. Without nothing else to focus on, it was inevitable it caught her attention.

When somebody started thinking about the simple unconscious act of breathing, they became aware of it. And then they had to start thinking about each breath, otherwise they'd stop breathing. Most unconscious things were like that. Pay some attention to them and suddenly attention is needed.

But Amy wasn't just aware of her unconscious actions. She was also aware, and in control, of the reflexive actions of her body. She was thinking about the beating of her heart, the way her lungs expanded with each breath, the muscles of her stomach walls rolling. And smaller things: muscles around veins, cellular division, energy being processed in her mitochondrions.

Awareness of what she was doing, perfect knowledge of what she had been doing from the moment she awoke face down on the asphalt. And control over it all.

There were redundant things she didn't need. Fragile organs that could be strengthened. More efficient shapes and reactions.

"No."

She steered herself away from those lines of thought and settled for thinking of the food in her belly. It was organic matter, but long since dead. She couldn't 'see' it. The result was the disturbing sensation of having something jammed inside of her that didn't belong to herself. She paused, reviewed that thought. Then she told herself to forget about it, even knowing she couldn't anymore. Either way, she couldn't affect the organic matter because it was dead. She had something dead inside of her. She shuddered a bit.

She knew she had unconsciously started digesting it, she remembered that. But the process was too slow. A full meal took two to three days to exit the digestive tract. Days in which she would be feeling it slowly being broken down in her body. A constant thing inside of her, a nagging feeling that would not go away. It was not an appealing prospect. But she could make it faster.

Amy stopped. What she was thinking about, it was like opening a door, like Marquis.

neuron connections

She wouldn't be able to close it after it was open. A part of her was afraid, afraid she wouldn't be able to stop after taking the first step, not until she was running and hurting people. A greater part remembered everything but the moment she had become a monster, and it told her the door was already open.

She decided.

Carefully, she willed herself, her flesh, her cells. One word for a process that could last over twenty-four hours. Consume.

It was fast, like she wished. Her cells moved. Pseudopods extended. Tendrils. Chemicals were processed and the matter was broken down. All of it, even compounds that humans usually couldn't digest. Cellulose, fibers. The required enzymes were polymerized. Then it was absorbed and distributed into the bloodstream. It all took two seconds.

Amy stared unseeing at the ceiling, her focus turned inwards. The speed at which she had changed, consumed the food, it was dizzying. All that organic matter, just gone, incorporated into her. She didn't even need a digestive system anymore, nor, she suspected, a urinary system. Her body was too efficient for that. The change was scary. She was scaring herself. The moniker floated through her mind again, this time even more appropriate than before.

Monster.

She had nothing inside her now, and she felt… less empty, perhaps. The sensation was unlike anything she had ever felt before. On the physical side, though, she was very much emptier than before. The consumption had 'eaten' all the organic matter inside of her, and not even the usual benevolent bacterias that inhabited the human body. No. She searched through her memories, she hadn't had any microscopic life inside of her ever since she awoke. Had it been a side-effect of her powers inverting? The ripped clothes too, by the way. The way her body had changed, it could have wiped out the bacterial life. Or it could simply be she never had any, even before. Her powers could have dealt with it passively, the same way she never got sick.

She sat on the blankets, trying her best to just ignore what had happened. Her trains of thought were always coming back to her body and her power, while they were definitely the last things she wanted to think about in depth. A look at her watch showed she'd been thinking for a mere half an hour. So she still had the whole night ahead of her. No such luck on that side then. She had to distract herself somehow.

Her eyes roved across the living room. There was a bookshelf, filled with books and DVDs. Amy thought about it for an instant. Then she got up, tip-toed to it and tried to read the spines in the darkness. She picked the biggest book that wasn't a dictionary and sat back down on her borrowed blankets. The old leather cover of the Complete Works of William Shakespeare felt soft under her fingers. It was an old book, probably passed down to Daniella's parents.

It was also too dark to read it, regardless of the slivers of moonlight that passed through the closed windows. She contemplated the possibility of not doing anything, spending the rest of night inside of her own head. It was a far more horrifying option than the other thing she could do.

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark." Amy whispered to herself, a bitter smile on her lips.

She focused on her eyes and willed Change.